The Benefits of Omnipotence
by Saiyan Angie
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto must admit he never thought he'd be in that spot again. Then again, distortions of time and space weren't really something the academy prepared you for. Inspired by Lionheart.
1. Still feels like the first time

**Author's note**: You can't judge a fanfiction by the first chapter. At first, this will seem like a retelling of the manga. Get over that lump, and you're set.

* * *

After waiting outside in the intense sunlight for over an hour, Uzumaki Naruto had to admit that his wardrobe was less than practical. It was at times like these he would envy Shino or even the accursed Uchiha boy. Shino was always well sheltered from the sun, and Sasuke's clothing was the best of the best; it was by far superior to whatever was available for Naruto to buy.

It angered the blonde, right then. Of course, the feeling never lasted. Soon, he would be distracted by something; perhaps anything, if only to free his mind of such a burden. He was quite good at that. Shutting himself out or playing dumb was a great way to get by in life. There was also the fact that he didn't hate himself as much as others did, so his mind was as comforting an escape as thinking about nothing, which he tended to do a lot.

The day seemed so mundane; so routine. Sasuke sulked to his right while Sakura sulked to his left, being deprived of her chance to sit next to her favorite male on the face of the planet. The fact that today had originally been a life-changing event made no difference to Naruto. Not after he had come to the conclusion he was dreaming. The whole event had already happened. It was only a memory playing behind his closed eyes.

Sweat dripped down his brow, leaving the blonde to wonder exactly how he had managed to heat his room when he was asleep. Unless he was sick, which was very possible. The more he sat in the sun, the more that seemed a plausible theory. He could do nothing about that, so he joined his teammates in sulking, thinking about nothing and allowing himself to be very miserable.

A sudden plume of smoke to the face educated Naruto's adrenal system, startling him no matter how much he was expecting it. The sadistic gleam in that sleepy eye was one the jinchuuriki was all too familiar with.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei. Nice to see you." Naruto greeted, wiping the sweat of his forehead with a yawn. Kakashi dismissed the respect as sarcasm, which probably wasn't going to help the young Uzumaki in the long run. Who'd -upon Kakashi's arrival- noticed he really wasn't feeling so great. His stomach was really hurting, as if he hadn't eaten anything…Wait a minute…

"-WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR HOURS!" Sakura ranted, glaring daggers at their new instructor. This made the ninja even happier. Sasuke groaned, completely apathetic to the whole situation. A lame excuse was given. Probably the same as what had been said before, but Naruto didn't catch it. In fact his stomach hurt so badly, that he didn't listen to too much of what Kakashi had said afterwards either. He pretended he did, which wasn't too horrible since he already knew the drill. Bells. Teamwork. A lot of scolding.

With his stomach acting the way it was, Naruto had to admit that he as tempted to try the same stunt he pulled last time which would end with him tied to a tree stump in even MORE intense sun. He would avoid that route if at all possible. Though the words he used in his mind to plan the event were nowhere near as eloquent.

As soon as Kakashi had finished with his explanation, he stepped back, leaving his two teammates to ditch him.

"You really don't get the idea of hiding, now, do you?" Kakashi asked casually, taking out his book. As much as those bells called to him, Naruto wasn't as stupid as he had been when he'd tried for the bells in the real world. He could also use the shade, but he still stood there, transfixed on his sensei. The fact that he already knew what made his teacher tick was more than a little humorous to Naruto. To laugh was only natural for one in his unnatural situation. It wasn't real, anyway.

It was at that moment Naruto decided things were going to be different this time around, dream or not. He wouldn't just sit there and let himself be yelled at for the main flaw he was aware of having. The brain inside his body now was one that knew betrayal, loyalty, and pain. He knew that Sasuke was even more disturbed than he looked, and just how frightening a sand demon could be. He understood just how to pass the test they were currently in, and perhaps even outshine the traitorous Sasuke-teme, in the process.

A bitter thought came to his currently over-active consciousness.

_It's still just a dream. The old man is still gonna be dead when I wake up in a fever sweat, and then Sasuke-teme will still have betrayed us and left Konoha for more insane pastures. Even so, Kakashi will still respect the bastard more than he does me. That has to change._

Hatake Kakashi was dumbfounded by the behavior of this orange eyesore of a pupil. He was just given instructions that would intimidate any normal academy graduate. Yet, there he was, staring at the copy-ninja with those cobalt blue eyes; mocking him, he imagined. Was the boy goading him?! Was it a simple, narrow-minded and extremely futile part of a plan to get one of the bells tied securely to his waist? He felt himself tense up when the boy gave him an expression he had recalled being made by the Yondaime, but could have never in a million years have expected what happened next.

"Sakura!" Naruto called, prompting a startled sound from inside a nearby cluster of underbrush. "There are only two bells, right? ... There are two bells and only three of us." His laughing stopped, and he put on a serious face of thought. It was an act put in place so that nothing was suspicious. No one would be more than a little surprised from learning that he as willing to give up everything for Sakura. "-Let's work together. All three of us." he said, smiling earnestly. The reply he got was another muffled sound from the bushes, sounding less than pleased. He pretended to get offended, causing Kakashi's features to soften just a little. Well, the visible ones, anyway. The Uzumaki boy was surprising his teacher at every turn.

"Sakura, I am more than willing to let you have my bell. I thought that maybe, since I've already flunked twice, I could probably breeze through the coursework like it was nothing, and... I have to finish what I start." he trailed off, but was amused when even less desirable set of sounds erupted from his pink-haired comrade. It involved Sasuke, whatever she was saying, and how the two of them could do things without the dead-last anyway, or something. All-in-all, it managed to give away her position, making her look very foolish.

Kakashi sighed, putting his finger on another page of the book. They had to come at him sometime. He had honestly expected to be assaulted by then, and for the blonde village idiot to have been the one to do it. What really induced the bookmark to be put in the page was the maturity of the condemned boy's behavior. He had high expectations for Sasuke, but he now realized he had completely undermined the example of demon symbiosis that was now standing right in front of him, unafraid.

"What are you doing, Naruto?" the jonin asked, eyeing the subject of his attentions carefully. The boy was swaying a little bit, still completely relaxed.

"I'm waiting," was the boy's reply. Naruto's blue eyes scanned the area, waiting for some sort of assent or backup. He wasn't about to give away his teammates' positions that they had managed to secure once again without their assent.

Several painfully stretched seconds elapsed before Kakashi sighed. They weren't coming. It was regimental responsibility, though, and he couldn't just pass Naruto for thinking like a team by himself. In fact, he should probably punish Naruto for his inability to speak in a way that made sense to his teammates-or for just standing there. That wasn't very smart.

That being said, the jonin approached his target of an adolescent with one hand, preparing a kunai to attack. With one swift movement, he brought it down in a stabbing motion. Unfortunately, Naruto did not react in any way, causing Kakashi a little amount of guilt as the impact was made. He had probably just killed the troubled youth. As it could be imagined, Kakashi was pleasantly surprised when a wisp of smoke vanished where a body should have been. There was no replacement, but the fact that the kid had been thinking like a shin obi with his supposed intelligence level was impressive.

The elite ninja's ears strained, listening for any sounds of the other genin. There was nothing, which almost prompted a weary smile under the mask. Could it be that they were actually going to go through with it? Attacking him together? It still wouldn't work, of course. Any effort of the children would be useless. Still, it was a nice change to think of. Of course, there was still the chance that he was mistaken, and that they were all going to attack on their own, and were biding time. With that on the brain, Kakashi opened his perverse book again and waited for the inevitable confrontation.

* * *

Author's Note: Skendall Beta'd this for me. Thanks, dahl!


	2. Perfect Combo

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Seriously.

Author's note: Merry Christmas, dudes. Oh, and thanks Steven Kodaly for beta-reading this! It should be easier to follow now.

* * *

Getting an Uchiha to accept you as someone of worth was hard. Thankfully, Naruto Uzumaki remembered this as he casually strolled behind the spoiled young man. Using stealth that his present self knew, but his past self hadn't, he actually managed to get behind Sasuke without being detected. It was considerably easy, too.

"Yo," came Naruto's voice, cracked with puberty. His reflexes prepared for the consequences.

The effect was instantaneous. The would-be traitor in front of him turned around, startled, and unleashed a physical attack of desperation. Naruto ducked and grabbed his rival's ankle in a motion that flipped the young Sharingan-user on his back.

"What the hell are you doing, Loser?!" Sasuke sputtered, irritated and surprised. He had been expecting Kakashi. Then again, he had also expected to see Naruto get his ass handed to him. 'Displeased' was a minor statement as to his emotional state towards his teammate.

Naruto was a stepping stone to him; this was all wrong.

"I am trying to cooperate with his highness," Naruto curtly replied, smiling bitterly. Sasuke's eyes widened in anger in the split-second he could have used to react,"-because I have to."

While the self-centered avenger was down, the blonde ninja stepped on Sasuke's chest, perfectly aware of the kunai being tossed at him from Sakura's direction. She was aiming for her favorite spot in back of his head, so the shot was easily avoided.

"Let Sasuke go, you.. You…!"

"That's not a toy, Sakura!" he shouted, finding himself annoyed with this jog of memory as to how immature their female teammate had been. "Were you really trying to KILL me? That's not a very nice way to react to someone who was going to win a future for you, you kno-"

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP, LOSER!" both Sasuke and Sakura interrupted simultaneously, causing the demon vessel to flinch.

There was a silence as Naruto brainstormed a way to deal with this turn of events. A stroke of brilliance rewarded his efforts.

"Hmm… So, you think you can take down an elite on your own? Copy-ninja Kakashi? The man of a thousand jutsu?" he argued, feeling his face turn red with the frustration. Hunger made him irritable, but his intellect was a lot larger than most were aware.

The two he had respectfully addressed felt their jaws drop. Was their teacher really that famous? Could it be that Naruto actually read up on someone? Finding he had finally captured the rest of Squad Seven's attention, the trademark smirk appeared of the face of the Yondaime's son. For the moment, they were at his mercy. This would do.

"What would you suggest then, Naruto?" Sakura asked, her voice shaking a little.

Yes, this would do just fine.

Meanwhile, the head of the team fingered his prizes restlessly. It was hard to concentrate on an erotic novel when you constantly had to fear a plan that was probably escalating in tactical brilliance. The three would-be ninja were smarter than he had assumed.

At first he had waited for them to come, expecting one of the genin to foolishly challenge him like the ones that came before. Time had passed slowly, and no one came to fill his expectations.

_Today is just full of surprises_, he mused to himself. Then, he dropped the book entirely.

The forest had suddenly become eerily quiet, the birds having ceased to sing. Even the chirps of insects had become few and far between. This calm interested Kakashi, but was nothing compared to the thundering footsteps he heard moments later.

Orange swarmed into his vision, clouding it with the sheer numbers of his opponent. Something inside him was disappointed when he realized that it was truly just an attack staged by only one of the hopefuls. It was even Naruto, at that. Just as he had begun to think he had misjudged the boy, he had to go and pull something like that.

"So it's true. You really can conjure up solid clones. Not that it matters, though," he felt himself quip.

Kakashi didn't even need any real techniques to bat away the dozens of clones coming at him. They were as unrefined and careless as their original turned out to be. All the same, the jounin couldn't resist the replacement gag.

A clone was soon nabbed to be used as the replacement, but never fulfilled that purpose. Fitted with an explosive tag that went off on contact, Kakashi withdrew his hand. In those few seconds, he felt a different hand clench around one of the bells and yank. The bell in question didn't get a chance to be stolen before the jounin clenched the hand and twisted it around. "Narut-" he prepared to lecture, his eye lazily focusing on the miscreant that touched him.

The hand belonged to Sakura Haruno, stunning him significantly. The next thing he knew, a set of flying weapons flew in from his right. The replacement jutsu worked for him that time around, but Sakura was set free as a result. Sasuke almost smiled to himself at that accomplishment.

Kakashi didn't reappear, and the three teammates(along with a few dozen shadow clones) searched around for him. It would not do to let the enemy get behind them, sensei or no. Sasuke's favored target of an ankle was the first to find Hatake's location. The rest of the Uchiha soon followed as he was pulled into the ground up to his head.

"Earth style: Headhunter jutsu." the gray-haired man stated, appearing behind his victim. He reached for the black hair of the Uchiha boy, only for it to turn yellow. A Naruto clone! Once again, a fast ball had been pulled on him.

"CHANCE!" it yelled, wrenching a hand out of the soil with surprising force and grabbing something that had been next to him on the ground all along. Kakashi's visible eye widened. Another trap!

He got out of the way of the new explosion just in time, but a blade was thrown in his blind spot by the real Sasuke, cutting the cords that attached the bells to his waist by a cross-hair. The accuracy was amazing when the haze from the recent explosion was taken into consideration.

Kakashi sensed the change in weight and reached out to catch the bells, but was tackled by the hyperactive blonde mastermind of the entire operation while Sasuke and Sakura took the damned things. Naruto beamed at them before being thrown off.

Dread caught a hold of Naruto's heart. He was flying with his rear end completely exposed to his infamous teacher. He knew what would happen next, but screamed like a little girl anyway. A thousand years of pain found the way to his ass, followed by an intimate contact with a tree-trunk. The splinters were unimaginable.

Sasuke watched in morbid fascination as their sensei took two fingers to his rival's ass. Sakura honestly thought Naruto was going to die and had screamed accordingly.

Kakashi chuckled after hearing the impact and got to his feet. His back was to the two. They waited for the verdict with bated breath, leaving themselves open for torture at the hands of the sadistic copy-ninja. He brushed the dirt off his clothes just as the alarm bell rang for the end of the exercise.

A smirk played under the jounin's mask. He stalled for a few seconds, leaving his students on pins and needles simply because he could. They had done very well, whether he had gone easy on them or not.

"Well, well. It looks like we have two winners."

Sasuke and Sakura looked at each other and smiled. Sakura closed in for a hug, causing the youngest Uchiha to back away. Before she made contact, however, she felt a pang of hunger. One pang led to another, and she looked at Naruto's twitching form at the tree's base. There were only two bells…

One separate glance told her that Sasuke was thinking the same thing. In a burst of mutual resolve, they set the bells down next to the town's mischief-maker, causing him to smile widely through the scrapes. It also earned them a very disturbing grip on the shoulder from Kakashi. Disturbing in that it was accompanied by one of the most gleeful expressions they had ever seen, anyway.

"Correction. We have three winners who won more than a game. The first to have ever grasped this exercise, I'll add. The three of you acted as one."

Three sets of eyes locked onto the teacher, waiting to burst out into individual happiness.

"You are all worthy to be called Genin. You pass."

Those were beautiful words to Naruto's ears no matter how many times he heard them. Though, as Sakura helped him up, he felt a bit better than he had the first time for two reasons, one being that he wasn't tied up. The other was left to speculation in his brain, as he couldn't quite place it.

As Sakura let go, the Uzumaki boy realized something important. Those injuries given to him by Kakashi had actually HURT. Didn't things in dreams tend to be painless? He pondered this for a minute, but came to the conclusion that he had probably scratched himself while sleeping. That answer satisfied him for the moment, but it failed to explain his literal pain in the ass.


	3. Salty Suicide

Disclaimer: He ain't mine, and unless you're Kishimoto, he ain't yours either. Naruto, the man of the hour!

* * *

Victory was sweet for the members of team seven. Well, more salty than sweet, but it was tasty nonetheless. It was especially sweet on the tongue of Naruto Uzumaki when washed down with Ichiraku's perfectly seasoned noodles and broth. The nectar of the gods that was ramen poured down his throat like an infusion of new life.

Sasuke edgily pecked and pulled away at his food like a carrion bird, content but slightly uncomfortable with the closeness of a mane of pink hair to his shoulder. She didn't have the right to touch him, he told himself, as he had many times. Who was she to think she was worth touching? He, who had witnessed so much, was ENTITLED to his personal space. These thoughts showed on his face, but Sakura either didn't notice or ignored the nonverbal communication altogether.

Sakura was grateful that they had passed the test, but she had taken very opportunity to praise her immediate crush's marksmanship over the ingenuity of the plan executed by the blonde guzzling his food like his life depended on it. Every now and then, she would casually ask something of Naruto, but found him eerily quiet. Where was the loud-mouth she had become accustomed to? Certainly not across from her. Every cell in her female body screamed about the absurdity of it all. Then again, every cell also shouted that it was hungry and that dieting was a bad idea, so she made a habit of not listening to them(or eating, for that matter).

Naruto felt himself staring at Sasuke and Sakura, no matter how hard he tried to restrain himself. They were so young and vulnerable back then. Sasuke was still unmarked by anyone other than himself, if only it weren't just a dream. If only…! He had acted so rashly back then. That wasn't to say that he never acted irrationally in the present, but he had to admit he had mellowed out to an extent.

The leader of the team observed them all from a distance, not actually eating himself due to the fact he would not remove his face mask for any reason. He had explained a few things to the students, but was fairly sure that he hadn't been very well heeded. Adolescents were so easily distracted. Especially that Sakura. He'd need to work on that. Sasuke wasn't too bad. Kakashi hadn't expected the sought-after genin to have been too much of a nuisance anyway. No, what really kept him on his guard was the Uzumaki boy. There was something off about him.

Hatake Kakashi had been very well-briefed on Naruto's situation and personality. He had no choice but to be. So how was it that an entire secret side of the boy was being exhibited during a period where he could be expected to be as immature as possible? Didn't that Iruka mention something about the kid being rash and impulsive with the Sandaime concurring with that observation? He had yet to see either trait. No. This kid was definitely smarter than he had let on. More mature, too.

* * *

Naruto continued his meal in silence, looking at his teammates on occasion with what seemed like longing; especially Sasuke. It wasn't _that_ kind of longing, but it was an intense emotion raging within his student regardless. That much made sense to the jonin. The envy probably drove him mad. To have someone that was so sought after when you were ostracized in such a way must have been terrible. Then again, Sasuke's existence wasn't exactly a happy one either.

_It's always greener on the other side of the hill, eh? That's not healthy._

After some basic dialogue from Sasuke to Naruto, some fawning from Sakura on the point of the former, and a lot of eating on the part of the latter, the meal drew to a close. The teacher put his finger in his pockets to reach for his wallet, but was cancelled out by an intense slam from the fist of the Kyuubi's boy. A few bills fell to the counter, along with a couple coins. His face was downcast and hidden; quite a contrast to that of Kakashi's, which was wide-eyed and puzzled. If his mouth wasn't hidden, it would have been agape.

"I'm done, guys. There's the bill. See ya' tomorrow." he deadpanned, leaving the old ramen vendor as speechless as everyone else in the closed area. The twelve-year-old's shoulders sagged with every movement.

Sasuke did a double-take, but thought the better of prying. Whatever the dobe was doing wasn't worth the effort. Granted, he was -different- somehow, but still the idiot he knew. Just because he learned a few more tricks didn't mean Naruto was even close to holding a candle to Sasuke's skills. Oh, how wrong he was.

Sakura watched her orange-clad companion wander away until he vanished. For some reason, she felt she should have said something. Was he angry at them? He hadn't asked her out all day. That hurt her confidence more than she would have ever said out loud, but all the same…She needed time to figure it out.

"I think I'll be going home, too. I'll see you in the morning, Sasuke." she said sweetly, ignoring Kakashi altogether. He felt a bead of sweat form to the side of his head. _Women_.

Sasuke waited until after his obsessed fan had left before breathing a sigh of relief. It was just him and the teacher. That was acceptable. Minutes passed by with the two just enjoying the calm evening.

"Interesting, aren't they?" Kakashi asked thoughtfully, attempting to start up a conversation with a kindred spirit. Birds of a feather flocked together, didn't they?"

"I guess." Sasuke contributed, placing his chin on his hands. He didn't even bother making eye contact, and few more seconds told Kakashi that was all that was going to be said. The elite ninja sighed and stood up. He had hoped for a little more spirit.

"Be at the training field by eight tomorrow." he reminded his last student before vanishing entirely. 'Eight' meant 'ten', but he didn't bother to mention such a trivial detail. Nah. They could find out for themselves.

The jounin headed for his house that evening, completely unaware of the strange events that were about to unfold.

* * *

Naruto walked out into the night air with more burning in his throat than he'd have liked to admit. Dreams… he now realized he hated them. Weren't they supposed to help you work through things? All his was managing to do was make the pain worse. He'd already mourned. He'd already come to grips with things. Did his mind have to torment him so?

Seeing Sasuke again hadn't affected him at first, but the longer he spent next to what he was sure was a replica created by his subconscious, the deeper the wound cut. How the bastard managed to show affection from being belittled publicly was a mystery, but Naruto had missed it. Every single painful and humiliating second.

….

Okay, maybe ALMOST every single painful and humiliating second. There was only so much arrogance even a saint could take. Naruto wasn't a saint, and he would be the first to admit it. Even in the short span he'd spent in his ephemeral realm, he'd wanted to kick the prissy whiner in the back several times.

As for Sakura.. He didn't know where to begin. A reality check would probably cash in well at her national bank. He found himself missing the self she was when he was awake. That Sakura knew herself; she wasn't a slave to what she thought she was. She was confident. This… thing… he was contending with was only a shadow of the woman she would become. It was like missing a friend.

He was thankful for Kakashi's presence in that the man never changed. He was still the same sadistic psycho-bastard of a genius with a soft spot for the Uchiha. Even if Naruto buttered him up, Sasuke would probably pull their teacher in like a magnet.

It was only natural that Sasuke would get attention from Kakashi, he concluded after thinking about it a little more. That didn't mean he was okay wit that fact, but he was aware of the reasons it made sense.

A chill hit Naruto's face. He was getting tired of dreaming now. He contemplated jumping off the Fourth's nose and waking up in a fit of giggles, but decided the better of it. Maybe there really was something he needed to work through… or maybe Sasuke would blow up. The idea made him crack up even more than the suicide plan. Why wouldn't it? The black-haired miscreant had already done the same to Naruto, right?

An idea hit him like Sakura would have if she had heard it. A manic smile graced his features.

_Well, it IS my dream after all._

* * *

An unsuspecting Sasuke Uchiha rolled over in his sheets. Sleep graced him, but not without causing some rather annoying habits to surface. He ground his teeth together menacingly while bunching all the covers up at his feet. And, as any other sleeper would, he involuntarily passed gas from time to time.

The moonlight streamed in through his open window, accompanied by the occasional insect. The illumination landed on the Uchiha's upper face, causing his eyelids to shine in the darkness. In a moment, it was blocked by a streaked shadow, which caused no more than a slight twitch of the closed eyes.

Two blue sandaled feet stealthily touched down on the ground near his head. Once again, Sasuke did not awaken. Naruto grinned. It was going quite well so far. Now, it was time for the purpose of the errand.

The troublemaker pulled a permanent marker out of his sleeve and crouched down to the pale face of his rival. The canvas of Sasuke's skin was admired for a moment for being so damned perfect to write on for a nanosecond before the slightly toxic ink was pressed onto the defenseless face.

Stress relief was essential for a ninja. For different individuals, there were different hobbies. To be fair, not all of them were as harmless as practical jokes. Naruto kept this in mind as he sketched on his friend's skin with surprising dexterity. After several minutes of the deed, the young shinobi inspected his work. The unibrow was a nice touch, he decided, and promptly got the hell out of the apartment before Sasuke woke up. Dream or no dream, he didn't want to be the first one the spoiled avenger saw after discovering his new paint job. No, he hoped Kakashi would bear the brunt of it.

…_Freaking biased teacher…_

Naruto slept nicely after that. He was sure he would wake up in the Konoha he was from, but that his dream had been a success. He was a hundred and four percent wrong, of course, but he didn't know that. The night passed as any other, but dawn would shed some new light on his situation. Coincidentally, it would also make Sasuke look like an idiot in front of several people.

Sasuke woke up at around five in the morning every day. The first day he spent as a fully-fledged genin was no exception. Routine had him so strongly in its grasp that the groggy ninja didn't even bother looking in the mirror as he went about his business. Not that it would have made much difference anyway. Sasuke couldn't be bothered with cleaning his own mirror.

The Uchiha picked out another outfit from a closet of the same garments and donned it without any more fuss than straightening it out. With that done, he brushed his hair and grabbed a quick cup of milk before heading outside to train.

* * *

A courier boy that was delivering the post to him looked at him oddly the moment he left his apartment. Sasuke didn't care, though. It was nothing more than a distraction. He had to train! He did his workout routine and stretches, a combined total of about an hour and a half elapsed.

It was about seven when he left his housing for the main streets. Once again, the early risers were at their own schedules. Normally he would get a couple waves and some respectful greetings, but today was different. Some of them were edgy, while others looked like they were stifling laughter. What was the big deal?

Having had enough, the 'prodigy' looked in a pond while walking through Konoha towards the training field. Upon seeing his reflection, there was a few seconds of nothing before a screamed set of profanities aimed at Naruto Uzumaki. As a result, several young villagers expanded their vocabularies and ended up in various corners.

Unaware of anything that was going on, Naruto slept in comfortably.

* * *

Author's Note: First Revision complete. I must extend my deepest gratitude to all the proofreaders and betas who helped me with this originally.


	4. Let it Be

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything within that universe. I do own a sense of humor and a computer, though.

* * *

A good night's sleep did a lot to put one in perspective. While everything around Naruto had been weird as of late, it was about to get prospectively weirder. Day came slowly for the unprepared mind of the young man drooling on his sheets.

A beam of sunlight streamed in through his window at around nine, calling him into consciousness. The mattress crinkled beneath him when he slowly sat up. He pushed his feet across the covers and onto the solid ground.

"Muh…" he drawled out, talking to himself. "What a strange dream that was."

The jinchuuriki pulled a cup of ramen out of his cupboard and heated the water like a ritual before sitting down in his usual position. Was it just him, or did he feel shorter than he usually was? He ate without returning to that question because the answer could have frightened him.

He ate quickly, contemplating whether or not he would tell Sakura about his dream. He knew it would piss her off, but that was half the fun, wasn't it? Besides, she was mature enough now that she wasn't going to go at him with a hacksaw, right? She hadn't done that in quite some time.

Instinct drove the Yondaime's son to avoid any mirrors that morning, but he still had to get dressed. His closet would tell him what his bathroom would not.

Naruto had already planned his outfit for the day. He was going to wear a black jumpsuit with one of his orange vests that he bought last week. It was going to look awesome! Lee would probably worship it. Naruto just couldn't wait.

His hand reached for the drawer handle, then grasped and pulled. Unadulterated horror plastered Naruto Uzumaki's face upon seeing its contents. His breath hitched.

_How?_

That first orange jacket… He had torn it up, hadn't he? He remembered the sad day he had thrown it away! Why had it returned from beyond the clothing grave?! Jackets didn't haunt. It didn't make sense!

_Is it possible that…?_

He looked down at his hands. They were surprisingly smooth. Weren't they calloused the last time he looked?

_No way! No way in hell!_

Unable to put it off any longer, Naruto shot into his washroom and looked at his reflection carefully. He stared back at himself, eyes wide with wonder. Was this a prank? How the hell… how…. Why? The face of his reflection wasn't that of the genin he knew. No. This was a child.

"This… is this really **ME**?" he shouted, even though he had no reply. He didn't know whether he was supposed to be overjoyed or disturbed. Had he finally cracked? This was physically impossible. There was no such thing as time-travel, and his own experiences had not been a dream in any respect.

_Then, yesterday actually happened?!_

Naruto felt himself foam at the mouth as he discovered that yesterday had indeed been real, and that Sasuke Uchiha really WAS walking around with the word 'arrogance' plastered on his face with a goatee and a unibrow! The Sandaime was still alive! Orochimaru was still in hiding! Was it a miracle?! Was it a curse? Reasoning told him it was more than likely a sign of schizophrenia, which also seemed unlikely.

Determined to prove to himself that he was correct and not just crazy, Naruto yanked his clothing on at the speed of light and trounced out his front door with one sleeve of his jacket undone. Konoha bustled around him as it always did, thinking nothing of the hyperactive boy. He was always like that.

At that time, villagers would usually go out of their way to make sure Naruto Uzumaki knew that he wasn't welcome in Konoha. That day, however, no icy glare reached him. No tripping stopped him, either. He was a boy on a mission that had no letter ranking.

He rushed through the crowds ear their respective market stands and towards the Hokage's mansion. If Sarutobi was alive, then Naruto had to see him with his own eyes.

Surely enough, the old man was outside his home speaking with some of his subordinates. Naruto's lips curved into a quivering smile from behind the gate. Tears fell from his eyes at a steady rate. The old man hadn't noticed his observer, but Naruto was happy enough just knowing he was there.

Everything that had happened in his future life might as well have been a nightmare. It hadn't occurred yet, and he would be damned if he allowed it to.

The day he was informed of the Third's death was one of the most tragic he would ever experience. Regardless of the emotions he had shown t the time, the whole thing had left him feeling empty for so long. He couldn't handle that grief again.

"I'll protect you," Naruto promised in a whisper, just watching the old man speak and laugh for a few more seconds. "I'll protect you even if it kills me."

The Uzumaki sniffed and wiped away at his tears of joy quickly when he saw several villagers walk towards him from the corner of his eye. They all were on some sort of errand. That reminded him. Wasn't he supposed to be somewhere? What was today? There was something he was supposed to remember.

It hit him like a shovel flung from a ballista; a revelation so terrible that it almost made him gag with the irony of it all.

"Aaack! I'm going to be late! EVEN BY KAKASHI'S STANDARDS!"

Any remaining teardrops still adorning the genin's face were air-dried during his sprint to the training field. He bowled over a couple garbage cans on the way, he was fairly certain, but some sacrifices had to be made for old time's sake.

Sasuke was irate when he arrived at the training field at eight. His skin was red and puffy from desperately scrubbing at the marks that hadn't come off. The word 'arrogance' seemed to stand out even more, if anything. Sakura had been the second to arrive, a little late because she had been doing her hair. As a woman, she had explained, she always took pride in her appearance. The explanation had continued for about one minute before Sasuke cut her off with the fact he just didn't care.

Looking at him reproachfully, Sakura felt a blush come to her cheeks. She didn't know how she was supposed to go about mentioning the marker adorning her love's face.

"Sasuke, your fa-"

"I know. That infernal Naruto-!" he growled, searching the horizon for the absent third member of Team Seven. He was late. Was the moron afraid? Heh. Served him right.

The two waited together while the sun continued its ascent into the sky. After an hour and forty minutes, they were more than slightly irritated.

Of course, it was right then that Naruto had to fly over the fence and into a tree directly behind Sakura. It wasn't a quiet entrance, by any means. As soon as the two punctual shinobi realized that their target of displeasure had arrived, they cracked their knuckles and stared at him like a cat would a mouse.

"Good… morning," the demon container choked out in between blows. Sasuke continued to beat him mercilessly for what seemed like an eternity before Kakashi showed up in his shadow. The copy ninja's visible eye twitched. The day had started out so well, too.

"I would stop that if I were you." he said warningly, bending down until his breath tickled the back of the Uchiha's neck. The so-called 'dobe' was forgotten and Sasuke twisted around to defend himself.

Kakashi dodged easily, and then caught sight of Sasuke's face himself.

The teacher cocked his head to the left, studying the markings for a short time before bursting into laughter himself. The vengeful adolescent Sasuke couldn't be any more embarrassed.

Luckily for Sasuke, relishing in the Uchiha's personal shame was the last thing on the instructor's mind. Training a girl whose mind was solely devoted to pleasing one boy, an emotional time bomb, and a hyperactive blonde was a lot harder than it sounded. The task had not sounded easy to begin with, either. As if the heavens wanted the task to be even more difficult, one was trying to kill another.

Kakashi had to admit that the reason for the conflict was more than a tad bit amusing. Naruto's prank was a very direct comment on his rival's behavior. It was like a writ for individual freedom; he wanted Sasuke to know he wasn't going to take it anymore without resorting to violence. Not that it had worked, but it was a noble and/or comedic idea.

"Could you kindly refrain from removing your teammate's internal organs with your fists, Uni-boy? He's going to need them later." Kakashi ordered his pupil in between intakes of breath for his next chuckling fit.

Sasuke just twitched.

Naruto laughed alongside his sensei from the tree to which he had retreated. He felt the killing intent flowing from Sakura, but pretended it wasn't there. He could take her in a heartbeat if she tried anything.

"Oi! Kakashi-sensei!" he interrupted at last, a promise that he'd made less than an hour ago burning in his mind. "-What are we going to do today? Missions? Training? Training about missions?"

The perverted jonin walked past Sasuke so that he was in the center of the Genin ranks and cleared his throat.

"Actually, I was going to have you run as many laps as possible for the next twenty minutes." he said casually,"-and then I was going to have us take the most humiliating D-rank on the roster."

"D-rank?" Sakura asked, her eyes still narrowed at Naruto.

"Yes, D-rank missions. The lowest of the low." Kakashi replied, pulling out the book that matched Naruto's jacket. "Things like weeding, gardening, hauling heavy objects. You know, minimum wage crap. It builds character."

"Che… Yeah, right. I'd rather be training." Sasuke complained, crossing his arms. Kakashi rounded on him in an instant.

"That can be arranged. You've just earned your team another ten minutes of laps." the instructor stated smugly. His word was law. Sakura looked less than amused. In fact, she looked terrified. The girl hadn't really been keeping up with her physical endurance training, obviously.

From the tree branch, Naruto was smiling widely. The team had just gotten its first group sentence, and it wasn't even his fault! As if it could be better than that, Sasuke was the culprit!

"Any particular starting and finishing point?" he heard himself ask in an earnestly cheery voice, causing his teacher to be caught off guard by Naruto's good attitude.

"Uh, yeah. You start at this rock and end at this rock." he replied, pointing to a boulder next to them. "-but before you come back you need to reach the river."

Sakura looked like she was going to die. All the way to the river? From their position? That was an entire mile!

"Oh, and you can't stop for any reason, or you'll have to start over. Get it?" he asked, looking from one young face to another.

Sasuke leered at him.

Sakura nodded mid-tremble.

Naruto was already running.

Seeing the negative response he got from two-thirds of his students, he couldn't help but inform them that was just a warm-up compared to tomorrow's physical conditioning.

The D-ranked missions were a lot less difficult than Naruto remembered them being. Complaining had probably robbed him of a lot of time and energy he could have just used to complete the tasks. After some self-observation, Naruto had discovered he had a few talents in manual labor.

He could weed non-stop for two hours before he needed a drink and change a feces-filled diaper without complaining. He could run a message to an elderly woman in less time that it took for most to use the bathroom. For the first time in a while, Naruto felt content to be a genin. These were his fellow villagers, after all. If someone wanted to be a leader of something, they had to love it from all levels, didn't they?

Still, that didn't mean he never got fed up. Sometimes the Uzumaki would get bored, or hostile towards his teammates for not leaving him alone for a second. Seriously. He didn't point out everything they did wrong. Well, not this time around, at least.

Finding Tora the cat was the worst. That feline was a demon. He was sure of it. Somehow, that request came in at least three times a week. Every time, Kakashi took it without fail. Because, he had explained, it was the only mission that gave Naruto any trouble. The jonin was an equal opportunity employer. He wanted to make sure all of his students had an _equal_ chance to be miserable.

The reproach that emanated off of Sasuke after the comment was tangible. Sakura didn't really respond at all.

Days rolled by, soon to be replaced by weeks. Kakashi had become ruthless with their schedules. Even Naruto was forced to get up early. Even if the jonin was always late, he still meant it when he assigned them self-improvement routines to do on their own time. He knew when they didn't do it, and some teammates(Sakura) were punished severely.

The truth was that Naruto really, truly, and sincerely wanted to be stronger, so it worked out perfectly for him in the end.

The missions gained him a few new friends, but usually evening found the blue-eyed wonder playing with Konohamaru and his posse. He found that it was fun to teach them, and that it was good practice for his patience and mental capabilities to do so. Well-that, and seeing the honorable grandson create a perfect sexy transformation. Especially when they did something nice, like steal from Ebisu. Nothing valuable, mind you, but those marshmallows were some of the most delicious the demon-boy had ever tasted.

Naruto still did his trivial work without complaining, but felt he should probably push the issue of more important tasks soon. In the original timeline, he remembered having thrown a tantrum around that tie that ended in them leading Tazuna and his country to freedom. The event was kind of important to Naruto. He didn't like the thought of Inari being murdered… among other things.

Maybe the outcome of the whole mission could be teased into a less tragic position. The jinchuuriki spent several nights attempting to plan that out before actually deciding to go through with 'Operation: Throw a tantrum'.

He slept well the night before, knowing that being well-rested would help in the long run.

* * *

Author's note: Oops.


	5. The Tantrum Operation

Disclaimer: I do not claim to have rights to Naruto. I just like using him!

Naruto Uzumaki was up bright and early the following morning. Excitement propelled his actions.

He ate a breakfast that was larger than usual and made sure to do his exercises thoroughly. By the time the sun was up, the orphaned boy had even cleaned his apartment while going over his plans.

The morning air smelled magnificent to the fox boy's nostrils when he left his apartment at eight. It was still a tad bit chilly, but such was expected of a day in early spring. His jacket was warm enough to compensate for his open-toed shoes, and it didn't affect the smile plastered on his face.

There was no hurry to the jinchuuriki's stride when he met up with his team for the day, but there was a lot of energy behind it. Kakashi picked up on it immediately, but said next to nothing. Such zeal could easily be dampened by another cat hunt.

Sakura busied herself with a one-sided conversation with Sasuke as they walked, leaving very little room for bonding before the mission. That caused Naruto's mood to drag a bit. He missed having her as a friend.

The four entered the mission assignment area casually. To Naruto's glee, he saw Iruka was near the Sandaime. Since that wasn't a common occurrence, it meant his timing had been correct. The Operation would commence as planned.

Sarutobi waited for the appropriate time, then addressed the team.

"For today, there are several missions available for Team Seven. At the top of the list is babysitting the three-year-old granddaughter of-"

"No." Naruto interrupted, prompting incredulous expressions from everyone in the room. Iruka looked as irate as he had the first time. His eyes were wild and… worried? Odd that Naruto hadn't noticed it before. Iruka didn't want him doing anything even remotely dangerous.

"Naruto! What the hell do you MEAN, 'no'? You three are Genin! The lowliest of the low, you have to start with these simple missions. That's the way it's always been done!"

"No." Naruto said again, working very hard to keep his face straight None of his teammates had attempted to dissuade him yet. Maybe they knew what was going on? Even Kakashi seemed more than willing to allow the misbehavior to continue. In fact, he appeared slightly amused.

Sarutobi smiled knowingly through it all. He had been expecting something like this for some time now. Naruto had been quiet lately. Too quiet for a child. It was good to see him acting normal again.

"No _what, _Naruto?" the old man asked genially, studying the bright-eyed preteen with patience.

"No more of these kiddy-missions!" he supplied loudly, putting his hands on his hips. Sakura spluttered a quiet plea for him to shut up, but that didn't stop his rant from continuing. "I hardly see how moving trash from one place to another hones our abilities as ninja, you know? I mean, I understand how you sort out all those requests you get everyday according to letters and difficulty and stuff, but could we forget that part?"

It seemed everyone was listening to him attentively for a change. Naruto knew the attention was scrutinizing, and that the fate of the Land of Waves depended on how he phrased his question. No pressure, right? His fingers fidgeted before he finally set up his portion of the argument. He decided to go with his original strategy. "I.. I want to prove I'm not a kid anymore. I can handle more than this! Come on, give me a REAL mission!"

The following glare Naruto got from Iruka was short and quickly rerouted to his teacher. Kakashi felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. _I'm going to hear about this later. _

Arguing with Iruka was a troublesome and time-consuming experience.

A short but hearty laugh flew through the room. The Hokage puffed on his pipe happily. He could work with this! "So, the brat wants to test his mettle? Fine! I've got just the thing!"

Kakashi's eye widened considerably, and Sasuke looked like he was going to give birth from his gullet when this change of events came to light.

"…Really?" the copy-ninja blinked. He was sure he was going to be punished, not rewarded. His student was being such a pain, too! Why did the hokage just change his mind like that?

"Yes," Sarutobi replied, pulling a scroll out of one of his piles. "A C-rank, in fact. You will be escorting someone."

"Who?" Sakura asked immediately, her eyes on the door.

"You'll see," the old man responded, motioning to a shinobi near the arch. "Send him in."

Naruto was not disappointed in the least when he saw an elderly builder enter the room in a slightly-drunken stupor. The man held a bottle of sake in one hand, and some sort of sack in the other.

With a grimace, the Uzumaki rediscovered the smell of impoverished bridge-constructors. Kakashi nonchalantly scratched the back of his head. Sakura and Sasuke just stared.

The impressions were made pretty quickly.

"Wha? A bunch of snot-nosed kids?!" the client asked skeptically, clearly flustered with is new bodyguards. "They look incapable. Especially the short one with the idiotic look on his face!" he snarled hoarsely, pointing a wrinkled finger at the genin before him.

Naruto's eyes narrowed. The last time Tazuna had used that line, he had taken the bait and looked like an idiot. "Idiotic look? Sorry, I can't willingly accept such an insult from a drunken and poorly washed man. It really wouldn't be fair."

Sasuke snorted, actually enjoying himself. Who knew the dobe could verbally defend himself?

Tazuna shut up as a result of Naruto's rebuttle, allowing Kakashi to use the opening in the conversation for introductions. They were kept brief, but the mission was the same as he had remembered. Thinking back, he noticed just how much of a pain Tazuna had been as a client.

Now they would be spending some quality time together.

_Between Tazuna and Sasuke, I wonder if I'll have any self-esteem left. _The blonde thought wryly, suddenly having second thoughts for the sake of his own sanity.

Less than an hour would find the five outside of Konoha's gates. Though things had been going swimmingly thus far, Naruto couldn't help but feel uneasy about the confrontations ahead.

Walking was considered a peaceful hobby to most people. Naruto, however, wasn't enjoying it as much as he could have been. The fair weather and pleasant breeze did nothing to soothe his skittish nerves. Try as he might, he couldn't refrain from scanning the path ahead for a tell-tale sign of an attack.

To mask his irritation, he started a wordless competition with Sasuke. Whenever the Uchiha would step ahead of him, Naruto started walking faster. They accelerated in such small increments that it took minutes before either were jogging. By that time, the dreaded puddle had already appeared on the dirt path before them.

Naruto's neck hair stood on edge the moment his blue eyes spotted it. Despite weeks of careful planning, he couldn't be entirely calm. Even though he knew Kakashi was also aware of the abnormality, it wasn't enough to soothe his adrenaline rush. It was like a game of deadly hide-and-seek, where the anticipation got to you more than actually being found.

Naruto forced himself to walk past the puddle, but heard Sakura's scream soon after. He swirled around out of instinct. He was just in time to watch the Mist Chuunins' chains wrap around what he knew was a clone of their sensei. He had to hand it to the jounin, he made his death seem highly convincing. Everything seemed real, down to the blood.

Another scream from Sakura yanked his senses into even higher gear. This one was prompted by a situation that alarmed the blonde beyond belief. It was unplanned; he had failed to take Sakura's current weaknesses into mind when he had formulated the plan. The enemies were supposed to have attacked _him_; Sakura wasn't supposed to be endangered!

He saw the claw head for her. He could tell she was making a dash to evade, but it wouldn't be fast enough. The attack would hit her head-on, and then be followed by a relentless string of deadly strikes- and most likely fatal ones, at that.

He had only fractions of a second before his future best friend would be slaughtered, and he heard Sasuke shouting to Tazuna to stand still. There was no way he could assume the Uchiha was in any position to do anything. Aside from that, there was only Kakashi, and he could have been anywhere.

There was no time to think, and before he knew it, he was shoving his comrade out of the way to take the hit. The poisoned claw sunk deeply into his back and ripped away at his jacket. It was a mind-numbing agony, and the jinchuuriki could only assume one of his ribs had been pierced.

Naruto couldn't help wailing as he felt the poison from the blades seeping into the wounds. To make matters worse, the claw hadn't even released him yet.

Pain ripped through his body while he was reeled in by the chained weapon and lashed with the line. He vaguely heard his teammates shout his name desperately through the fog that was rapidly becoming his mind. Before any new wounds could be inflicted on him, he felt the claw ripped away by a familiar pair of gloved hands. His eyes worked very hard to focus on his savior. _Kakashi-sensei…_

The display of self-sacrifice was not wasted on the Hatake. To say that Kakashi was livid was a vast understatement. His forehead-protector had been ripped away leaving both eyes fully open and menacing. The sharingan rotated at an incredible rate. What little was seen of his was contorted with rage. He moved as a man possessed to free his grievously wounded student from the weapon as quickly as possible. For all the jonin knew, he was already too late to save the boy's life.

As soon as Naruto's failing body was removed from the claw, Kakashi flung it back at the two who recklessly tossed it around like a toy. Before he even had time to realize what he was doing, a Chidori formed in the teacher's right hand. He wanted these men to suffer dearly.

Sakura could only watch as she was forced out of the way of the fatal strike. Naruto's blood had splattered on her face, and she felt a sob escape her before she fell to the ground. She heard his tortured yells when the poison meant for her settled in. The guilt was indescribable.

"NARUTO!" she shrieked, reaching out for his hands before they were cruelly dragged away by the weapon's hold.

Sasuke felt he couldn't look away from Tazuna. The mission had the first priority, but that couldn't hold his attention for long. Soon, his little-used voice joined the chorus of mortified cries in his teammate's name.

The bridge-builder was petrified by the entire display. The kid he had insulted had sacrificed himself! He was just a child, too! During the heartless slaughter of the two enemy shinobi, Tazuna could swear that some of Kakashi's rage was directed at him. The killing intent washed over him in waves.

Against a vengeful Kakashi Hatake, the Demon Brothers didn't stand a chance. The Chidori rammed through them before they even had time to retract their weapon entirely. The attack drilled through the two without giving them a chance of survival. Their last moments were filled with blue light, and the sight of Kakashi's tears.

Naruto hadn't seen most of what had happened after his fall, but he could feel the intense emotion all around him. In a normal situation, being as close as he was sure he was to Sakura's budding breasts would probably have gotten him killed. Then again, if he hadn't interfered, she'd be the one bleeding on his chest.

It was ironic; Naruto had always assumed that he would die at the hands of an elite ninja in some dramatic backdrop. Honestly, to die at the hands of a chuunin was troubling.

Sakura's hands brushed over his face in comforting motions. It felt nice, but it didn't change the primary problem that Naruto was fading away. No amount of the Kyuubi's chakra could reverse the poison by that time, he knew. If it could have, it would have already done so.

Warm drops of salty water fell on his skin. Was this really it? After all he had worked for, he was going to die on his first C-rank mission? Tazuna would be sent back without an escort for sure, and Inari… He couldn't allow it! He wouldn't allow it! Still, he felt death's approach. It was getting cold, and Sakura held him even more tightly. She was calling his name.

The sounds grew quieter and quieter.

Then, there was nothing but darkness.

Author's note: This is getting constructive.


	6. Cause and Nullified Effect

Disclaimer: Hi, guys! Naruto is not my character! Neither are his friends!

* * *

Whispers flew in Naruto's ears when he felt himself become aware once more. The sensation of falling enveloped him. He opened his eyes to a darkness deeper than he had ever imagined, dotted with unpredictable flashes of colored light. His spirit was overwhelmed, but fought itself desperately.

The temperature fluctuated constantly while he tried to move, only to realize that there was nothing to move in. He was flying through a substance with thinner than air with the fluency of water. Sounds traveled through it, caressing his ears. The whispers flew with music, something so beautiful that he couldn't move. It frightened him.

Fear rendered him helpless, and he felt he might die again in the incomprehensible abyss. Try as he would, he could make no sound himself. For a moment, he thought he saw a face, but it vanished as quickly as it appeared.

He felt a set of hands gently grasp him in the darkness. He was still falling, he knew, but he was no longer afraid. The arms held him with such intense love that he was enveloped in it. His fear dissipated, and he listened.

"_Naruto…"_

"_My son…" _Naruto felt the words from the entity cradling him and so wished to see her. Tears stung his face.

"_Momma?"_ he choked out, aware of the ethereal sound his own voice carried.The arms were now accompanied by the feeling of lips to his forehead. He was crying freely now. His arms returned her embrace.

No sooner had he done so, the darkness fell away to reveal a great caged door. Naruto struggled to keep hold of his invisible mother, but found she evaporated in his grasp long before he hit the ground of his mind's chamber with a 'thud'. He called for her, but she couldn't return.

* * *

Two blindingly red eyes bore into his naked form from behind bars. He heard paws pace behind the sealed doorway, and saw the occasional flash of teeth. The fear that his mother had relieved him of returned in full force, but he stood firm.

No words were exchanged, but Naruto was compelled to step forward until he was directly in front of one of the bars. Low growls emitted from the entity inside, and soon the red eyes locked onto his completely. A burst of hot breath blew the boy's hair backwards like a gust, and the next thing he knew, the reality he had just obtained flew away like pieces of broken glass.

Naruto Uzumaki's head flew up with a scream. His nightcap flew to the far reaches of the room when the disturbed youth threw himself onto the ground of his apartment. A brief inspection proved that he was still alive. There were no wounds; no proof of anything.

_A dream? No! It couldn't have been! _Short spurts of past events played in his head. He had felt the claw, he had heard everything leave him behind. He remembered the darkness, and someone reaching out to him He remembered the sensation of the fox's gaze, and the ephemeral world shattering around him.

"Naruto!" he ordered himself aloud. "Pull yourself together. Nothing you can do about it now, anyway."

The face in the mirror looked haunted, tired, and as young as it had earlier. No part of this was a dream. It had happened for real. Naruto Uzumaki had died. So how was he sitting in front of his mirror in the middle of the night before his fatal choice?

Thinking about it made his head spin. He wished he remembered everything that had just occurred, but the memory of his descent was fading, taking his mother with it. The knowledge remained, however. Naruto had died and returned to the night before, unscathed. Bittersweet emotion wracked him for a few more seconds before leaving him numb and exhausted. His body demanded sleep, and it would be damned if it didn't get it soon. Meaning, of course, that it would collapse no matter how much the brain was in use. As of right then, that was quite a bit. It slowed considerably, though.

"Think about it in the morning…" he muttered to himself before wandering back to his still-warm bedding and dropping there, almost as dead as he had felt an hour prior. Slumber took with it his cares, his worries, and any remaining memory of his post-death experience. No mortal was to remember such a thing. It would drive them to madness.

The Uzumaki boy would awake the next day with recollections of nothing but his death. He would wake as if he had a nightmare, and retry the day armed with new knowledge. The mortal coil could not hold him, and time lost her sway where the young man tread. He could choose what controlled him, be it morals or madness.

Time in the confusion would test the strength of his heart, but it had yet to weaken.

The Kyuubi had the powers of a god, but that was nothing compared to the hands that wielded them. If the child was to be bound to such an entity, was it so mad to think he would no longer be a prisoner to the laws of order? In a world held together by so many factors, was it so strange to think of the dire consequences of cutting but a few?

The answer was not in the hands of mortals. No matter the problem, the solution was always simpler than it seemed. Phenomenon would go unexplained, and the orphan jinchuurki would probably never understand the reasons for his chronological exemption. Heaven hadn't chosen him for his wisdom, but for his soul. The spirit unbroken was more powerful than the gods themselves.

Ultimately, the ideals spoke of in his dreams would all amount to one thing: Respawn, bitches.

* * *

Author's note: Sorry about all the big words. If you are confused, see the last line. By the way, that's some of the last complex stuff you'll be forced to bear with for a while. 


	7. Puddle of Death

Disclaimer: Anyone stupid enough to claim Naruto as their own other than the actual author needs to be shot. I am not Kishimoto,

therefore-blah, blah, blah.

Sakura Haruno felt very strange about the looks she was getting from Naruto. They had only just left the village. Did he think the same rules of etiquette did not apply once the walls were no longer around them? If he did, he had another thing or two coming. She looked in his eyes, expecting to find lust or adoration. She was a little frightened when neither were present.

Naruto, who never worried, was afraid of something. That much she learned before he looked away, ashamed of himself. "Naruto?" she asked immediately thereafter, hoping for some sort of explanation for his behavior.

"Yeah, Sakura-chan?" he asked, his voice tired. The sun bounced off his tousled hair that looked ragged with tossing and turning. It almost reminded her of a dead bush in contrast to the vibrant countryside.

_Why the hell did he ask for a more difficult mission in his state? He looks like he didn't sleep at all! _The inner Sakura ranted, but the outer mask smiled sweetly. "Are you feeling okay?"

The addressed ninja blinked wearily, then nodded slowly. Sasuke made a sound of disbelief from the other side of him, but the orange-clad Uzumaki promptly ignored it.

"Then don't stare!" Sakura scolded, landing a blow on the sensitive spot of her teammate's head.

Naruto's eyes briefly flashed with resentment, but he refrained from looking at her for the next eight miles or so. In fact, he seemed absorbed with the dirt ahead of him. On a day as nice as the one that graced them, the girl couldn't help but feel that was a waste.

Naruto, meanwhile, was very busy thinking of a way not to die in the next the next ten minutes. Somehow, he had to find a way to prepare himself for any variation of attack that could possibly happen. The chuunin were very likely to target Sakura again, but some evil part of the blonde boy's brain hoped they'd choose Sasuke this time around. Guilt followed that wish, though, so Naruto made short work of it.

The infamous puddle showed up far too soon for the Uzumaki's liking. Truth be told, it marred an otherwise perfect landscape, and could be resented for that alone.

At that exact moment, an idea struck the boy like a ton of bricks. "I need a WALKING stick!" Naruto announced, gesturing wildly at the forest.

Kakashi did a double-take at the sudden outburst while Sakura flinched. "Excuse me?" he asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"The _hell, _Dobe?" Sasuke wanted to know what exactly had just happened in his rival's head. His shout was too random to even be typical of Naruto's personality.

Naruto didn't reply. He just dashed off the path and grabbed a long stick. He returned instantaneously and waved it in front of Sasuke like a dog treat. The Uchiha then whipped a hand out in an attempt to break it and missed, which caused Naruto to goad him even more. After about three tries, Sasuke gave up and pretended he didn't care.

The teacher groaned at this typical and troublesome behavior. It wasn't worth the energy those two wasted.

The quintet walked past the seemingly innocent puddle of death yet again, and once more Sakura screamed while the jonin faked his death in a convincing and gory fashion. Even Naruto found it disturbing as to how well Kakashi executed the illusion. From the blood, guts, and all the way to the internal organs, everything was very impressive. Naruto never wanted to see it again, let alone learn how to pull it off.

The chained claw chose Sakura as its victim yet again. Naruto grimaced and hoped he'd get the timing right when he thrust the stick through a chain link and pulled the weapon backward. Unfortunately for him, the stick wasn't heavy enough to reel the heavy claw back entirely. The piece of timber snapped before he could gain complete control of the weapon, leaving him vulnerable to other attacks from the enemy.

Having a toxin-coated kunai thrust into the side of your neck was not one of the most pleasant experiences on earth, Naruto quickly learned. Especially, he amended, when it was followed by another. The fact that he had saved Sakura's life was the about the only thing that kept him from weeping bitterly inside at his new defeat. That, and he learned an important lesson about gravity and momentum. They caused things to break when one object was heavier than the other. Next time, he would get a metal staff before leaving Konoha.

_If there IS a next time_, he corrected himself bitterly from his new cradled position in Sakura's arms. More than a little guilt consumed him when he felt her sobs. He knew from the sounds around her that the Chuunins were once again getting their hearts ripped out by an enraged Kakashi, and that Sasuke might have been helping, but all the same…

"Naruto, I can't-…_sob-_Don't go! I'm so sorry! Y-you still have to be Hokage, remember?!" she struggled to speak through her tears. She was once again rubbing her hands in soothing circles on his skin, but he could feel her fingers were slick with his own red blood.

It sucked that she wouldn't remember what he did for her if his hunch was correct. He was probably going to wake up in his own bed again.

"Sa…ku…ra…d-" he began to say (his intent being to say 'don't worry, it'll be okay'), but found his heart stopped inconveniently at that exact moment. It would figure that being stabbed twice in the jugular artery killed a twelve-year-old body faster than a claw wound to the back. Then 

again, it would also figure that once you were killed you would stay dead. Logic was such a fickle mistress as of late.

For what now seemed the umpteenth time, Naruto's world of perception went black, and was soon replaced by the sensation of falling.

Naruto woke up screaming in his bed, but didn't panic like he had in the past. The sensation of dying was unpleasant, to be sure, but it always ended quickly thus far. He had again ended up in his room, tired and disoriented.

Everything was as he remembered it to be. Even the magazines he had been looking at several days ago were open to the page he had been skimming. Reassured by familiarity, the shinobi's bare feet touched down on the wooden floorboards.

After getting dressed, Naruto's brain immediately went to work on the plan for the day.

_I need a metal pole of some sort… Where can I get that?_ His brain went as far as Asking Iruka for one and stopped. Why would Iruka have a pole? Granted, he had a lot of other useful items, but a freaking metal beam?

He thought again while brushing his teeth. Maybe he could break a table for a leg of some sort? _But that wouldn't be strong enough, idiot! These are heavy chains we're dealing with. Maybe you should just try a different plan altogether…_His face scrunched up with displeasure at his own logic. _Bah! Who am I kidding?! I want to use a polearm! _

After some deliberation, the Uzumaki youth decided to use what remained of his monthly stipend to buy an actual Bo staff at the weapon shop. The owner was a little reluctant to let the hyperactive blonde have it(for obvious reasons; most involving the boy's own safety), but gave in after about ten minutes of begging.

Grinning victoriously after walking off with his prize, Naruto studied the weapon he'd obtained. It had been a cheaper model, but it seemed sturdy enough. It was made of some sort of iron encased over the wood of a spindle tree. There were several simple designs carved in the bronze-toned metal, but nothing especially eye-catching.

He tried whacking it against a boulder with all his might, but it didn't so much as scratch. It took some amount of self-restraint not to kiss his new staff for being so incredibly useful.

* * *

When he met up with his team, none of them seemed too entirely surprised to see him playing with a gilded stick. It did cross their minds to wonder where and when he got it, though. Sakura had actually thought to ask, and was mildly amused by Naruto's simplistic reply:

"Oh, yeah! I bought it this morning at the weapon shop because it sounded like fun, dattebaiyo!"

Pleading for the C-ranked mission didn't take as much time as it had on the last few occasions, and the next thing Naruto knew, he was on the hazardous path again. To amuse himself, he had taken to throwing his staff and catching it, despite Kakashi's subtle warnings that he would miss sooner or later. To be honest, he ended up 'missing' several times just so it would prompt Saske to be bumped with the airborne object.

The third time he tossed the stick and let it fly, the sensei caught it and bashed him on the head.

"Cut it out." Kakashi ordered, unshaken but still unmistakably annoyed. Naruto hung his head submissively and grabbed his toy yet again. This time he kept it to himself(mostly).

When the accursed puddle made its debut, Naruto was feeling pretty high on himself. The new staff was reassuring in his hands while the group walked past the unexplained spot of water.

The next thirty seconds went by as planned. Kakashi faked his death in order to shake off the enemy, Sasuke ran to defend the builder, and Sakura screamed a lot.

When the claw went for the pink-haired girl yet again, Naruto was ready. With a burst of speed, he thrust his staff against the extending chain, pushing it off-course. While that was happening, he made sure to move his neck out of the path of two deadly knives. They landed in a tree's trunk with a 'thunk'.

The smaller demon brother charged the twelve-year-old boy, the chain that connected the two straining. The enemy was quick, but somehow Sakura found the time to scream before Naruto jumped over his attacker.

In a quick and calculated movement, the blonde threw himself onto the chain between the two chuunin. While he was still a child, the velocity of his movement added to his impacting weight. With the chain jerked downwards, the two mist shinobi were in trouble. Their mobility was halted, and the shorter of the two Mist ninja felt an impact on the back of his skull that forced him to black out.

Naruto knew he had left his back vulnerable. In fact, he had done it on purpose when he struck the short assailant in the back of his noggin with his new toy. Why? Well, he had a perfectly capable team, didn't he?

Surely enough, Kakashi's hand closed around the taller Demon brother before he could fling any sort of attack at the jonin's student. With a loud snap, the gray-haired man broke his enemy's wrist and pinned him against a tree. "Any particular reason you thought the disguise of a puddle in a dry month was a good idea?" he asked with a hint of amusement.

"That was stupid of me, I'll admit." the older demon brother spat, a venomous glare betraying his mental instability to the world. With that, he bit down on his lips under the scrutinizing gaze belonging to one of Konoha's finest.

"So, care to tell us what you're after, Demon Brothers?" Kakashi asked absently, proving that he knew his adversary well.

"You're Hatake Kakashi, aren't you? The 'Man of a Thousand Jutsu"!" the self-proclaimed demon shrieked at him. "How were we supposed to know that the old man would have YOU protecting him?!"

The conversation/interrogation continued, but Naruto found himself staring at his unconscious victim instead of listening. At one point, he had started to stir, and Naruto was forced to hit him again.

"Stay down, you Puddle-Bastard." he growled, then looked up to see Kakashi reprimanding Tazuna for lying.

"Had we known we were going to be attacked by enemy ninja, we would have staffed differently. As of now, we are beyond the scope of this mission. We are no longer bound by contact or honor." he informed Tazuna calmly with Sakura nodding next to him.

"We could have gotten killed back there. We should go back to the village." Sakura reasoned, wringing her hands together nervously. Sasuke looked like he had half a mind to agree with her, too.

"Hmmm… Going back to the village sounds like a good idea. You genin aren't ready for this, obviously." the jonin agreed, stroking his chin. Tazuna looked at the ground, unable to argue and ashamed.

Naruto Uzumaki gawked. He didn't know quite what he should say. He couldn't make the vow he made last time, that was for sure, so… what could he do?

"Naruto?" Kakashi asked, impartially waiting for the final team member's reply.

"No way!" the dead-last shouted, deciding to act on impulse. "A real ninja would never go back on a promise, and we promised to deliver this builder to his country unharmed!"

Sakura scowled at this. "What are you saying, you idiot? You almost got KILLED back there!"

For no apparent reason, the Uzumaki child burst into laughter at this.

"She has a point, dobe." Sasuke commented, eyeing the two with disinterest.

"Oh, trust me. I _know_." came the blonde's breathless(and somewhat mirthful) reply, leaving the Uchiha speechless.

"Well, that settles it," Kakashi announced, putting a finger to his head. "We aren't turning back yet, but if things get too tough, we're leaving."

_Good enough for me._ Naruto smirked, watching Tazuna's eyebrows furrow. The old man didn't know whether to be grateful or worried.


	8. Are We There Yet?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I also don't own the internet, either. Too bad…

* * *

Naruto's feet felt numb and sticky. They'd been traveling for what now seemed like an eternity. The sun had gone from directly overhead to behind the hills in the west. The last streaks of daylight colored the horizon like spilled paints from a child's art project.

"How much further?" Naruto asked his sensei delicately, trying his utmost best not to nag or push the subject. The question had already come out of him three times that evening. If he didn't ask, no one would.

"We'll get there when we get there." Kakashi sighed irritably, rubbing his right temple. The jonin had constantly been on his guard after the morning's assault, and it was beginning to tax him physically. Not having eaten probably assisted his fatigue to where it was right then, too. "-and when we get there, I'm going to tell you."

"Naruto, stop asking that! It's sooo annoying!" Sakura ordered breathlessly from the rear. Ironically, for all of her attitude, she was still dragging almost as much as their client. Naruto almost felt sorry for her.

"Eh, Sakura-chan, I can carry you on my back if you'd like." he offered, stopping for a little while to let his teammate catch up.

"That's just weird, you know." Sasuke Uchiha commented while passing the blonde boy.

"I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Sakura-chan!" Naruto scowled indignantly, shaking his fist at the blue-clad back ahead of him while waiting for the pink-haired kunoichi's reply.

"Umm…no, thanks?" Sakura awkwardly communicated from behind a forced smile. Naruto was slightly relieved at the response. As kind as his offer had been, he was probably too tired to keep it up for long. To prove he understood, he gave a quick nod and started walking again.

* * *

The trek lasted well into the night. The group slept under the stars, taking watch in turns, and pressed on again at dawn's first light. The genins' bodies weren't used to the strenuous traveling, so Kakashi pulled off a rare act of mercy and allowed them a few breaks early on. As the second day moved on, however, he began to push them to move even faster.

Naruto noted that the environment was changing by that afternoon. It seemed colder, for one thing. For another, the plants took on a deeper hue of green. Fog settled in, making everything looked strangely bewitched. _We must be getting close. Still, I'd better ask for good measure._ "Sensei, how f-"

"Naaaruuuutooo! Don't you dare-!" Sakura interjected, her voice menacing. After a quick glance, the Uzumaki found that her body language matched. His legs subconsciously sped up to avoid the female's wrath, and consequently found themselves underwater with the rest of his body.

Kakashi put his palm to his face and waited for his student to surface. "A shinobi watches where he's going, Naruto! Come to think of it, nearly every rational human being does."

Naruto emerged from the waters, humiliated. "Yeah, yeah…" he mumbled, taking off his jacket and shaking it off as close to Sasuke as possible.

The Uchiha had anticipated this and moved out of the way of the flying droplets.

Tazuna, who had been staring into the distance at that point, shouted something into the fog. To the surprise of everyone but Naruto and the old man himself, there was actually a yell in return. Soon, a silhouette appeared through the mist.

"Pre-arranged transport?" Kakashi asked casually.

"Yes. A friend of mine who goes by Nibiro. He's gonna take us to the mainland." the builder replied, taking a swig from his seemingly bottomless flask of booze.

Naruto squinted to see the approaching boat. It was just as he had remembered it; shabby and without the motor running. Fun.

* * *

The next thing the boy knew, he was in the vessel with his team, staring into the dreary nothingness for over an hour. During that time, Kakashi had pried into the builder's situation and revealed the truth about Gato, and so forth. The conversation really didn't interest Naruto the second time around, but he had acted like he was listening.

* * *

Nibiro dropped them off eventually, saying that it was too dangerous for him to go farther. Tazuna thanked his friend and led the Konoha ninjas to shore.

It was at that point that Naruto began to get afraid. While it had taken him three times to stand up to the Demon Brothers, Zubaza was in a league of his own. Even Kakashi had struggled with the former ANBU elite. And, if memory served, Naruto had played a key part in getting them all out alive.

With things the way they were, there was no way that the encounter would go the same way as it had last time. It had been sheer dumb luck that had allowed his team to spot the eyebrow-less sociopath before(**his** dumb luck, in fact). There was no telling whether or not such a chance would present itself again.

The boy looked at his Bo-staff flatly. As amazing as it had been thus far, it wouldn't be able to make even a slight difference against Zubaza's giant blade. How the man held the sword escaped the young ninja's comprehension. Regardless of the reason, Naruto was still pretty sure the older man was compensating for something.

_Why carry a sword that big, anyway? Sheesh…_

Kakashi had begun the walk just as wary as Naruto, but for other reasons. He didn't know what to expect, to be sure. All he knew was that it was going to be more of a challenge than two chuunin. He had some peace of mind with knowing that his students could defend themselves for the most part. Naruto's display the day before had been… well, impressive. Whatever happened, he could be pretty confident that Tazuna would be in good hands.

On a lighter note, the made a mental note to get his blonde pupil scheduled for staff lessons when they returned to Konoha. The sloppy form the boy was using would eventually be problematic if left uncorrected.

On top of that, Naruto wasted too much chakra. Something had to be done about that.

As for Sakura, he would have to break her like a horse. That girl needed to shape up, and fast. She couldn't just expect to get by on brains alone. The ninja world wasn't like that. Intelligence was important, to be sure, but it had to be accompanied by some sort of specialty. She had to be able to defend herself! If Naruto hadn't been there for her in the last enemy encounter, she probably would have been killed.

Sasuke needed two things; a spanking and chakra control. It wasn't the boy's weakness, but it still wasn't his strong point. Maybe he could find some sort of training exercise that would benefit all three of his Genin. With that on his mind, he became a little lax on his guard. Too bad, because Zabuza was lying in wait less than a mile ahead.

* * *

Author's note: Wheeeee! It's Zubaza timebursts into the Hamtaro theme song 


	9. Benefits of Willpower

Disclaimer: Naruto is not my property. I'm 100.3 percent sure of it.

Author's note: Zabuza time! I bet you never thought I'd get this far!

* * *

A well-sculpted man crouched behind a tree, listening and waiting. His muscular form sat atop a sword that defied convenience in size. The man breathed slowly, so still that even the local wildlife began to act as if he had been nothing more than an extension of the tree itself.

A bird perched on his kneecap, nestling against the fabric while it groomed itself. Zabuza could have killed it with just a slight movement if he had wanted, but the creature remained unharmed. In fact, the assassin found himself temporarily enamored with it, if only to pass the time.

Patience came naturally to the criminal; it was essential for missions such as the one he was currently employed with. Sooner or later, his target would come down that path. As the situation usually favored the latter, the elite outlaw would find very odd ways to occupy himself.

He counted the seconds in his head. Two hundred and thirty-five. The wren stayed on his leg for over three minutes, completely unafraid of the owner of its perch. The blind faith reminded him of someone, but he didn't actually name the bridge right away.

_What is that Haku doing? Didn't I tell him to stay close?_ he wondered, fairly certain it wouldn't matter, but curious nonetheless. For all he knew, his young ward could be anywhere. It crossed Zabuza's mind to be a little concerned, but he instantly dismissed it. There probably wasn't anything to worry about.

The Demon of the mist let out a sound of irritation, scaring the bird that had taken a liking to his knee. Without so much as a peep, it took off into the forest beyond. Almost immediately, Zubaza Momochi missed the warmth it had left on his skin. With the heat gone, the humid cold of evening was free to seep in more than it had before.

Time passed slowly, leaving the former commander time to eat a quick meal. The stale hunk of rice didn't last very long, but it left him feeling more efficient. He needed all the strength he could gather, just in case things got tough. He really needed the money.

* * *

A tuft of gray hair got stuck in a low-lying twig. The owner of the tuft in question stifled a sound of disdain and pulled away from the snag. Despite his constant vigilance, the occasional branch from the marsh trees smacked or ensnared Kakashi Hatake. Between his lack of depth perception and tall hairstyle, that had happened a lot in the last few days.

The scalp irritation aside, Kakashi had developed a headache anyway. Two of them, in fact. Naruto had, for whatever reason, decided he needed to mimic Sasuke's every movement, causing the Uchiha more than a little bit of annoyance. Since Sasuke didn't do very much other than walk with poor posture and brood, it was a fairly easy task to copy his actions. At first, it had been entertaining for the three not involved. After about two minutes, however, it got old.

"Quit it, Naruto!" Sasuke demanded abruptly, having had enough.

"Make me!" the addressed spat, his eyes filled with glee.

"Shut up, Naruto!" Sakura growled from the left of Tazuna. Her green eyes were sharp with irritation. Tazuna was tuning them out, at least.

Naruto snorted and made to begin again before stopping suddenly, forcing Kakashi to bump into him. His blue eyes began searching the area frantically. "Did you guys hear that?" he asked dramatically, his eyes wide with fear.

Sakura and Sasuke looked at their teammate skeptically. Tazuna was split between being worried and being furious. Even Kakashi looked ready to groan at what he thought was a joke on Naruto's part before he heard it, too. Canvas brushing against bark. The sound in itself was so minute that not even an elite could be blamed for not pinpointing it. For Naruto to have noticed such a small detail was impressive.

"You three!" he shouted to his students, his visible eye calculating, "Defense formation around the builder!"

Naruto Uzumaki did not know what else to do, so he immediately obeyed. He stood to Tazuna's left while Sasuke stood to the right. Sakura protected the rear so that together the trio formed a triangular defense around the elderly man.

With that, they waited for their hidden opponent to reveal himself and make a move.

* * *

Zabuza was frustrated when he was discovered. It had been an obnoxious child who had heard him, no less! He began to wonder if he was losing his touch when he recognized the leader of the rag-tag team. The assassin's breath hitched with anticipation.

He had to plan quickly if his speculation was correct.

"So, no wonder the Demon Brothers failed to take the old man down," Zabuza's voice spoke in a low rumble. Kakashi's head whipped around to locate the source. "-Copy Ninja Kakashi."

Surely enough, the man standing on the branch with a broadsword haphazardly balanced on his shoulder was no small threat. The Konoha jonin immediately exposed his Sharingan to the shirtless predator, causing Sasuke to flinch and shiver.

"Everyone, be careful! This man is way out of your league!" the instructor warned, never taking his eyes off Zubaza, who was now executing a jutsu. The Sharingan watched every movement carefully, but was effectively rendered useless soon enough.

A mist thicker than any they had experienced on their journey quickly surrounded them. Naruto instinctively stepped closer to the builder and accidentally bumped into Sasuke, who was still trembling with mortal terror.

Under any normal circumstance, the blue-eyed troublemaker would have mocked his rival's weakness. Right then, however, he understood the importance of having Sasuke as a fully-functional warrior. With that in mind, the Uzumaki's elbow gently nudged the petrified Uchiha's ribs.

Two terrified dark eyes bored into Naruto's blue ones. Swallowing his own fear, Naruto forced a reassuring smirk. The nonverbal communication took less than ten seconds, but the impact on Sasuke's panic was obvious.

The black-haired genin inhaled and exhaled deeply, letting some of his fear vanish. There was still a significant amount left, though. Naruto could sense this and was about to slap his arrogant teammate before Kakashi intervened with a few choice words.

"Sasuke! Don't worry. I'll protect you, all of you. I won't let my comrades die." his words traveled through the fog, sounding at once both close and far away. There was a collective sigh of relief that Naruto did not share in. Try as the jounin might, he was only human.

"Don't be so sure of that, Kakashi," Zabuza chuckled, his voice coming from all directions at once. Naruto could hear his heart throbbing like thunder. How long was this man going to toy with them? Zabuza's mutterings soon filled his ears. He remembered the chant of a human body's weak points, but it still chilled him to the bones to hear it. The main reason(other than the fact it was incredibly creepy and instilled fear in the hearts of men) lay in fact he knew what would happen directly after.

True to form, Zubaza appeared inside the defense formation, weapon at the ready. Naruto felt the man's breath on his neck; his hair stood even further on end. Slowly, the blonde head arched around to fact the half-covered face of his enemy.

The next few moment elapsed at a nightmarish crawl. Before Sasuke or Sakura had any time to even flinch, the missing ninja's elbow drove into Naruto's belly with incredible speed and force. He didn't even cry out.

The taste of coppery blood covered his tongue, but the Yondaime's son managed to muster enough strength to shove his bo-staff into the ground to break his fall.

Zubaza's powerful hand reached for Naruto's head-guard, prompting the blonde to swerve to the left, then the right. His movements were labored, but they were just enough to cause the man to fail in taking his prize.

"You won't touch it!" the Uzumaki shouted, blood flying out of his mouth before he fell to his knees.

The assassin growled and readied another blow, but was rudely interrupted by several shuriken to the face, which then melted into a puddle of water with the rest of the body. Kakashi grimaced, having only hit a doppleganger.

"A clone!" Sakura whimpered, staring in horror at the damage that the copy alone had caused. "Then, where-?"

Her spine erupted in tingles so intense it almost hurt. Every muscle in her body tensed when she spotted the sword heading for her teacher's neck.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" she called out, trying to warn him of the impending death.

Nevertheless, the blow still hit. There was a sickening moment when the blade appeared to rend flesh, but it was soon apparent that the teacher was safe and sound when water replaced his form. Zabuza startled, the sight of his own jutsu copied left him awed.

The moment didn't last, though. It soon came to Zabuza's attention that the jonin's true position had played right into his hands when the kids looked into the water with relief. Water; _his_ element. Kakashi had been careless.

"What's wrong with this water?" the Hatake stammered, suddenly tense, "It's heavy!"

It crossed Naruto's mind to be mildly concerned.

With a smirk, Zabuza's body melted into a pool of water and reappeared next to the water-logged sensei.

"Water prison jutsu!" he hissed behind gauze, executing the hand-signs in a flash and encasing the elite Konoha shinobi in an impenetrable sphere of the solution he had been hiding in.

"This might just be water," he announced with a mirthless chuckle,"-but it's stronger than steel. It's over, Kakashi."

"No, it isn't!" Naruto shouted immediately, causing both of the elite in the water to look in his direction with incredulity. The boy painfully staggered to his feet and held his staff upwards, prompting a small laugh from Zabuza.

"Don't, Naruto! You can't beat him!" Sakura cried out before even thinking. She ran to steady him, but he pushed her away gently. Sasuke looked on with morbid fascination, unsure of how to react.

"Run! All of you! This man can't follow you so long as he keeps me immobile!" Kakashi ordered, his face taught with lines of worry and anger. The urgency of the command lingered.

Sasuke didn't move, obviously in deep thought.

Sakura took a few steps back, but couldn't bring herself to obey.

Naruto shook his head and made eye contact with his teacher. Even as Zabuza created a clone to go forward to their position, the blue eyes bore into Kakashi's senses.

"I am Naruto Uzumaki, the one who will be Hokage. I will protect those who are important to me!" the twelve-year old announced loudly, smiling at his imprisoned sensei with those bright eyes. "You won't hurt Kakashi-sensei!"

There was so much warmth backing those words that Kakashi could feel his little-used tear glands attempt to work. The boy was so genuine, but what good would that do?

"Don't!" the teacher repeated, almost pleading.

Zabuza scoffed, his clone readying an attack. Naruto pulled the staff into a defense position and shifted his weight onto his hind leg. Sasuke and Sakura took out their respective knives and stood in front of the horrified Tazuna. He wasn't going to stop them from saving Kakashi; the guilt would drive him mad if anything happened.

Kakashi felt as if his heart would stop. His students were going to be brutally murdered in front of him because they wouldn't abandon him to his fate. With unadulterated horror, the jounin watched the game begin.

Zabuza took the first move, swinging the giant blade with deadly accuracy and force. Naruto jumped out of the way on the first and second attempt. The third was halted by a distraction on Sasuke's part; a ball of fire aimed at the clone's exposed chest.

Sakura threw several knives shortly after the doppleganger dodged, one of them just grazing his arm. With the time that had granted, Naruto had duplicated himself with Shadow Clone Jutsu. All seven of them jumped at the enemy with their weapons at the ready.

Zabuza's clone swatted the onslaught off effortlessly, leaving the real Zubaza chuckling in the distance before he felt a presence behind him.

Naruto Uzumaki slammed the pole into Zabuza's muscular neck, a blow too clumsy to actually hurt him. Like a red cape in front of a bull, the orange streak was instantly targeted by Zabuza's outstretched arm. He grabbed the staff before Naruto had regained balance and rammed it backwards with experienced finesse, burying the shaft in Naruto's abdomen.

It wasn't until that exact moment that Naruto had remembered what he had done last time to more agreeable results. This time around he had neglected to utilize Sasuke. That was a mistake, no matter how Naruto thought of it.

Being impaled hurt, the jinchuurki had to admit. Not quite as much as the poisoned claw to the back, and less than being stabbed in the neck, he decided. The decorative patterns on the metal did chafe the open wound, after all. If he was lucky, it wouldn't kill him, though.

* * *

Sasuke and Sakura had their hands full; the clone was relentlessly dodging and getting closer to Tazuna. Every single strike, throw and diversion was being used against them. The elite was toying with them, as well. He was taking it easy on them.

"Sakura! Look out behind you!" Sasuke shouted hoarsely for what must have been the twelfth time in the past three minutes. With the warning, his partner managed to evade by a donkey's hair yet again. The Uchiha threw more weapons from his rapidly-shrinking arsenal, but couldn't keep it up much longer.

* * *

"Naruto!" Kakashi called out desperately from his prison. The Bo staff had not left Zabuza's hand, and the addressed boy was rigid behind it. The preteen hadn't even so much as blinked at the mention of his name. Blood seeped from the wood and fell on the surface of the marsh like raindrops.

"NARUTO!" the teacher urged again, this time to be rewarded with a weak smile from the Uzumaki. One last clone appeared under the water's surface and pulled down on Zabuza's feet, causing the assassin to lose his concentration and release the cage and staff.

Zabuza's eyes widened. _Oh, shit. _

Kakashi Hatake was not a man to be trifled with. His fuse may have been long, but once lit, it became a dangerous wick indeed. The deadly combination of a cunning mind and the use of a kekkai genkai made for a vicious killing machine. Now, the list of things that set him off was almost as long as anyone else's, subject to change and grow with his experiences. Though he had never been in that particular situation before, Kakashi Hatake became sure of one thing.

Watching your student get impaled with his own weapon while attempting to save you wasn't pleasant. The sight felt like having a summon pulled off inside your body. That feeling in itself was not new to the man. It tingled, burned, and generally caused him great discomfort.

There was a moment of absurd clarity within those writhing moments, however. All questions about the blonde-haired boy that had plagued his mind until that very moment faded away with one conclusion: Naruto was no fool. Despite what anyone else may have thought of him, the boy was by no means stupid, cruel, or useless.

If Naruto, who was gravely injured, could keep fighting for his teacher's life while impaled on a stick, who was Kakashi to think him rash? Naruto knew the stakes. He always did, regardless of how he had acted. The act of not thinking before an action in his case was merely one of time-saving. For someone who knew their priorities, morals, strengths, and weaknesses as well as the young Uzumaki, discretion would only point to the same course of action that would have been taken in the first place. Kakashi thought of these things from under the water with his injured student floating beside him.

As unpleasant as the impact on firm ground was going to be, the teacher knew he had to get his pupil out of the waters before he drowned.

The jounin's hands firmly grasped Zabuza's ankles, pulling the assassin under the waters of the marsh. From there, Kakashi sent a chakra-backed blow into the man's face to stun him. With the few seconds that bought, Naruto was tossed out of the water. From the boy's heightened trajectory, he spotted Zabuza's sword-wielding replica attacking his teammates.

* * *

Sakura was barely keeping up, he could tell with his dimming eyes. Sasuke kept the clone on his toes, but was still unable to break the advance on the bridge-builder. Tazuna had dropped his belongings, and was preparing to fight himself if he had to. Naruto, being Naruto, felt he had to help them in spite of his injuries.

In a burst of strength, the young airborne ninja yanked the weapon out of his torso to hold it in front of him. His eyesight went white with the searing fresh agony the action brought. He could practically FEEL his insides falling apart. Despite his best efforts, he let out a scream in his pain, alerting the water-clone to his presence.

Zubaza's face shot around to face the noise. In a movement almost too fast to be seen, he jumped out of the attack's range, not even bothering to debilitate the boy that was no longer a threat to him. True to his assumption, Naruto barely was able to stand upon touching the ground. Sakura gasped at the grisly sight of all the blood welling from the wound in his middle.

Zabuza's clone pulled his sword back to the ready, commencing the onslaught once again. The bridge builder was pressed even further back, and Sakura had to peel her eyes away from her friend to defend him. In the course of five seconds, she blocked three potentially fatal attacks targeting Tazuna.

* * *

The Uchiha boy could not bring himself to look away from Naruto's struggle to remain standing with his face to the enemy. Something inside him wished the knucklehead would just fall over instead of tormenting himself.

"Naruto! You can't do anything like that! Get down!" Sasuke finally raged, unable to keep his irritation with that unwavering spirit in check.

Knowing he had all the time in the world if he was, in fact, dying, Naruto studied Sasuke's face. Asshole though he might have been, the black-haired egotist was worried about him. The Kyuubi's mortal vessel attempted to say something in return to the would-be traitor(something rude but funny, of course), but failed utterly through his labored breathing. There would be no comeback this time.

_Guess you'll have to take over from here, teme, if I want to live… _he reasoned, reasonably sure he heard laughter in the furthest recesses of his mind, causing him to blink.

Naruto Uzumaki truly and honestly did not want to die right then. After all he had done, and after all the work, he didn't want to have to face Zabuza once again when he awoke. It was hard to know that when you failed, you weren't remembered by anyone for all the hard work. In a way, though, he was used to it. Uphill battles came with the territory of his life, and metaphoric climbing gear tended to be at the ready.

With a grin, Naruto nodded to his rival and collapsed forward, motionless. Sasuke felt his face darken. He hadn't really been expecting Naruto to listen. He hadn't, either. The nod that had just been sent was not one of agreement. It was a passing of the baton, a silent declaration of trust. Sasuke wasn't used to it, and he understood then that he had been avoiding it on purpose. It was one thing to disappoint your own expectations, and another to betray someone else when they thought of you with that much confidence. To put it bluntly, it hurt. It hurt to see someone who actually gave a damn about his existence without worshipping it had been a privilege. A true equal who saw him as an equal was now sprawled out in front of him, possibly lost to the world forever.

Sakura's scream forced him to face the enemy once more. To her credit, she was attempting to parry the giant sword with a single kunai knife, and was successfully buying time. There wasn't much, though. If Sasuke didn't act fast, he'd be short two companions instead of one. No matter how annoying Sakura could be, he didn't much care to see her killed in front of him.

Then, a miracle happened. Zabuza's concentration was broken so thoroughly that the clone had dissolved, leaving Sakura visibly shaken and the bridge-builder swooning with relief. Sasuke didn't let down his guard for a second, however. Immediately his eyes went to work locating the true Demon of the Mist.

He was not surprised in any way to find Kakashi staring their opponent down, but the fact that they were performing the same jutsu in perfect synchronization with each other was a tad disturbing.

* * *

Elsewhere, deeper in the forest, Haku's Zabuza-senses were tingling. They had an uncanny knack for doing that whenever the man for which they were named was in great danger. No matter how inconvenient their timing, Haku never failed to heed them. True to nature, Haku's mask immediately covered his face, and the race against time to save the older ninja's life began.

_Hold on, Master Zabuza! I'm coming!_

* * *

Author's note: Moo.


	10. To Kill a Wren

Disclaimer: Naruto and all related characters do not belong to me. I only use them without official permission.

* * *

Every man has justifications for his own actions. Even the most heartless killer is sure of his entitlement to do so. The same could be said of Zabuza three times over. He never felt morally conflicted, twisted, or evil, regardless of what disasters he brought about. Everyone on the face of the earth was means to an end.

Kakashi also had his path clear before him, but carried his deeds with far more weight. A sense of duty and justice motivated the gray-haired man.

The two were polar opposites, yet exactly the same. For that, each respected the other. They lived the way they thought was right, and in the end it put them at odds. Then again, threatening the Konoha shinobi's students might've added to the fuel of enmity between the two.

Standing on the surface of the marsh water with naught bought their chakra, the two deadly men kept eye contact. Every movement was calculated, precise, deadly, and exactly the same. Kakashi's sharing an was exerting itself, to be sure. Handsign after handsign was executed, and Zabuza could barely restrain his incredulous fear.

_Can he see the future?! Is he reading my mind? How can he predict my movements like this? Is it the Sharingan? Some trick?!_

Kakashi's eyes sparked in recognition of the rogue ninja's thoughts.

"I have seen your future." the jounin stated, face serious. The last handsign was completed on both sides of the make-shift arena of water then and there. "Your future is death, Zabuza Momochi!"

An explosive burst of chakra filled the air like wind. Sasuke instinctively took a step back, instincts running wild.

"WATER DRAGON JUTSU!" the elite ninja roared in unison, the formidable beasts of energy and water ripping out of their environment, leaving much damage in their wake. The two dragons immediately spiraled into one another, each trying to assault their true target. At first the battle seemed pointless; a draw. How could the same technique produced by two (presumably)equally-powerful ninja triumph on one side and not the other?

Water lashed at water, and Sakura was sure she could hear the deadly attackers snarling. The technique-generated beasts shoved and clawed viciously. Ultimately, Kakashi's dragon took the victory, forcing Zabuza's into submission and putting all the energy it had been thriving on into a blast that bore a resemblance to a tidal wave. Having just expended as much energy as he had, the rogue Momochi was powerless against it.

The torrent slammed into his body, forcing him back and tossing the highly-trained criminal like a doll in it's grasp. Pressure pushed against very portion of the outlaw's body, and it felt as if it would snap. Somewhere in the back of his head, Zabuza was wondering when things had gotten out of control. Losing was not the outcome he had envisioned. Still, a good ninja always had a back-up plan.

_Where is that Haku, anyway?_

* * *

'That' Haku was in fact less than a kilometer away, breathing heavily and moving as fast as possible without disturbing the local wildlife. No family of birds or rodents had to suffer for the misfortunes of one shirtless male and his masked assistant. Well, not on Haku's end, at least. Truth be told, the water dragons created by Kakashi and Zubaza had made it a dangerous day to be a wren indigenous to the Land of Waves. Over seventy eggs were destroyed in the crossfire.

The thunderous sound of rushing water hit Haku's ears and he hastened, dreading to think himself too late. Zabuza was his life, his fuel, his one and only goal. It was a subservient existence, but one that had never failed to satisfy the boy. Zabuza's smile, however rare, was the only reward he needed to risk life and limb.

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki wanted very much to know exactly he had gone from heroically falling to the earth to sitting in front of a set of wretched bars in naught but his birthday suit. The whole affair smelled like yet another strange dream, and sweat coated his feverish face. It was warm and cold at the same time, and without any covering, he felt vulnerable. The glowing eyeballs leering at him from their prison weren't helping a bit, either.

Try as he might, Naruto couldn't seem to peel his eyes away from those of the demon. Something deep inside him, repressed and voiceless, warned him not to. It was as if that gaze alone tethered the boy to his own essence. If he were to look away, he would die. This feeling in itself was somewhat exciting to Naruto since it led to the conclusion that he was still alive on the physical plane. His deeds were still remembered, his friends still fighting. On the other hand, Naruto Uzumaki was truly and deeply disturbed by the closeness of his demonic tenant.

The terror flowed and ebbed like tides through what seemed like hours. The blonde didn't dare speak, but doubted he could even if he wanted to. The feverish sensation left him feeling drained and tormented. The seal on his belly regulated it all, causing him to feel numb around the solar plexus.

In the silent room of his psyche, the Kyuubi sustained the young soul as it always did, though the boy did not remember. The human mind was a strange mechanism, but was delightfully adaptable.

* * *

In the realm of the living, Kakashi took a deep breath, exhausted. His opponent was down. Sensing that, the jounin looked to his students. Sasuke and Sakura were fine; bruised and slightly battered, perhaps, but still very much alive. Naruto, however… Kakashi dreaded looking at the boy.

There was something innate about human nature that screamed out in sorrow at the loss of a child. It was unnatural and unsettling unless one was accustomed to it entirely. Kakashi Hatake was not accustomed to it; neither was he comforted by the fact that the kid had sustained the potentially fatal wounds while defending HIM. If there was on thing he wanted to avoid, it was seeing the worst. Thankfully, the adult had an excuse to delegate the task to someone else. Zubaza would have no problem surviving that wave, even if he was injured. Tazuna had to be protected. With that in mind, Kakashi started toward the subdued criminal.

"Sakura, Naruto.." the teacher motioned on his way, not even having to finish the request before the kunoichi sprinted in the direction her fallen teammate. Sasuke looked after her from his position in front of a downcast Tazuna, breath halted with dread. The wound Naruto had sustained was probably mortal. It had been deep; the Uchiha had seen it briefly, but had still hoped for the best.

Team 7's world stopped for the young female's conclusion. It didn't come for a minute or so; Sakura had a hard time gathering the courage to touch Naruto's still form, let alone check it for vital signs. It seemed so wrong to her that Naruto, the most obnoxious person she knew, was so pallid and unmoving. Sakura was frightened by the very concept. Shaking, she pushed two fingers into his pale neck, feeling for pressure. His skin was cold and clammy; she hated the feeling. Her face stiffened, and Sasuke along with it. After a little while, she opened her mouth to speak, letting several choked gasps escape her.

Kakashi stopped in his tracks upon hearing that sound. His throat clenched, ready for the verdict he was sure of. Yet again, he had lost someone important. Once more, the great Kakashi had failed where it truly mattered. No amount of victory could compensate for that kind of loss. Naruto was...

Sasuke didn't want to hear what the sobbing girl was about to say. He wasn't ready to hear that Naruto was...

"_**Alive**_," Sakura smiled through her tears. "He's still alive."

* * *

Author's note: About the short chapters… I would make them longer, but I like positive reinforcement. 


	11. Love Conquers All

Disclaimer: I am disclaiming the characters used below. You know? Not claiming them because they don't belong to me, yah.

* * *

Love, by textbook definition, is described as a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. The term alone was one that Sakura had heard used many times. She, herself, had used it in the past without any forethought to the profoundness of the word in itself. Love was not what she had thought it to be. In moments of desperation, it changed.

Sakura Haruno's heart felt like it would burst into oblivion. Her emotions, until that point, had been nothing more than imitations caused by impatience or disappointment. In the long run, most of the things she had stressed over didn't matter. Life was precious; everyone had their worth. The kunoichi had always believed that, but never fully realized that she did. There was infatuation, of course, but that was different. Love was wanting someone or something else to be honestly and truly happy. It was only in that particular trying moment that her world expanded, colors becoming more intense to a perception no longer condemned to wander in immaturity.

The kunoichi wasn't strong; she knew that. Oh, gods, how she knew that. In the end, she always depended on others. In the end, she couldn't bear the thought of losng them. Not out of self-preservation, but it would be a lie to say she didn't feel that she owed them something.

She_loved_ Sasuke. She _loved_ Naruto. She honestly and truly_loved_ quite a few people, and until that point she had ignored it. Love was not a simple adoration; it wasn't even romantic in nature. No, that was a different aspect of love. One could feel a deep attachment for someone without that lust. Love was a state of being, an ideal, and a force of nature flowing through every creature. It coursed from her hands into Naruto the moment she touched him.

On a microscopic level, the effects were immediate, though no one could prove it. Just a little more activity, a little more motivation. The Uzumaki's body stirred slightly, though not enough to gain awareness. It was enough for her, though. Sakura held her teammate close, fighting back the feeling that this wasn't the first time they had been in that position, his head in her arms.

* * *

Less than ten meters away, the ambiance was very different. Kakashi had given a short sigh of relief, but was by no means unburdened. Zabuza was right in front of him now, and the copy ninja grasped a kunai tightly, knowing that the job had to be finished. The jounin had no choice, but even if he had, the man lain out before him had struck a child down without remorse. A genin, perhaps, but a child nonetheless. One he could have subdued without causing any lasting damage, in fact.

Killing was a messy business. Kakashi Hatake hated it, unlike some of the reports about him would suggest. It was never satisfying, and it never filled in the holes of the past. It was just a necessity. A dirty, guilt-ridden, unavoidable necessity. The least he could do and still feel humane was make it quick. With that in mind, the Konoha elite aimed for the criminal's jugular artery. He would avoid any nerve endings, if at all possible.

He lifted his knife, and was immediately startled by several acupuncture needles flying past his face to hit the target he had been eyeing. Zabuza's throat made a strangled gasp, and the rogue shinobi fell to the ground like a broken doll, eyes still open.

"Wha?" the teacher stammered, turning around to find a masked face studying him from a leaf-covered branch. The newcomer still held several more senbon in his right hand, prepared for use should anything have gone wrong. Instinctively, the Hatake checked his enemy's vital signs to find nothing; dead as a doornail.

"Hunter nin," Sasuke commented from his new position behind their instructor, viewing the lithe frame presented before them. The boy addressed gave a quick and courteous nod. His thick clothes ruffled in the breeze, hiding nearly all skin in a layer of bluish-green. His headband was hard to discern in the fog, but Kakashi could read the insignia without difficulty. It made sense that the Momochi would be tailed by an ANBU of his own village. Having been the same kind of predator in the past, Kakashi understood the boy's timing as well.

"Thank you for immobilizing him for me." the hunter's voice called out, soft and gentle. It flitted on the breeze, then left like imagination. "-the wanted criminal, rogue ninja Zabuza Momochi."

Kakashi gave a curt nod in reply, then looked at the body. Behind the mask, Haku tensed. Thankfully, the exhausted teacher had been too preoccupied with many things to have noticed the change. Before the gray-haired veteran was given the chance to get any closer to the 'corpse', Haku leapt down from the branches to toss Zabuza over his shoulder in a protective gesture. Kakashi was led to believe this was for secrecy reasons between the two villages, as the next part of Zabuza's eradication was for the ANBU's eyes only.

"I will go dispose of the body. Good day to you, Leaf ninja." Haku whispered, looking at the scattered group and phasing off into obscurity. Kakashi was left standing there alongside Sasuke at a complete loss for words. That boy was a skilled ninja, he could tell. Probably even stronger than he was. Before he had time to ponder that, however, his knees gave beneath him. The Sharingan had its downfalls.

_Chakra exhaustion, _he mused mirthlessly. It couldn't have come at a more inconvenient time. There was still the mission, and Naruto had to be taken care of immediately. There was no question about it, he needed to stay conscious, and-

Sasuke caught his sensei before he hit the ground, feeling every muscle in the adult's body tensing and straining. There wasn't any need for an explanation. If anyone understood the Sharingan's pitfalls, it was the one of the last Uchiha.

"Sasuke, I leave you in charge for now." Kakashi muttered, looking to the area where Sakura and Naruto were located before passing out entirely. Sasuke stared at him for a moment, then turned to each of his teammates in turn before meeting the gaze of Tazuna. The old man stared at him expectantly, and the Uchiha felt his face sour.

_Great. Naruto's barely alive, the old man's still the worst client ever, and now I'm in charge? This is going to be a loooong day._

* * *

Haku didn't dare stop running with Zabuza's deadweight on his back until there was several kilometers and a river between the two and the group of foreign shinobi. They had nearly succeeded in killing Zabuza, and the young outcast would be damned if they did it again. He had been lucky to arrive when he had. If his entrance had been even ten seconds later… Haku shuddered.

Hands shaking, the boy laid his only companion down on the damp grass below them, assessing the damage caused by both himself and the enemy. There wasn't as much as he had feared, but his shame built all the same. Every bruise on his master spoke to him of personal failure. With much affection, Haku stroked Zabuza's face. He would attend to his master's wounds soon enough, but for that moment, he could do nothing but thank the heavens he had been able to be there for his hero in time.

* * *

Author's note: Want more length, buddies? Well, here's zeh news. A lot of chapters are really this length. The difference is my formatting, dears. Of course, I'm not above being sweet-talked into it.

Also, to a certain anonymous reviewer, I haven't made Naruto all-powerful on purpose. At least, not at this point. It takes a certain luster from the story, you see(or you don't, in which case I won't press the issue).


	12. Kick the Baby

Disclaimer: I disclaim these characters which thou art about to receive.

Author's Note: I'll bet you thought I was never going to update again, huh? Well, in your face, apparently.

* * *

Kakashi had slept through the whole of the night, not remembering much of it. He had opened his eyes in the early morning hours to be greeted by the sight of a drooling and shirtless Sasuke Uchiha propped against the wall, a drunk Tazuna passed out on the table, and a disheveled Sakura who appeared to have fallen asleep on the stairs only to be covered with the shirt Sasuke had lacked. If not for the given circumstances, the jonin would have assumed she had taken it herself.

It came to Kakashi's mind to worry about Naruto, but he didn't have the energy to stand unsupported, let alone walk up a flight of stairs. With a sloth's stamina, the Hatake's left arm touched the inert Uchiha boy, jerking him into awareness almost instantly.

"Sensei?" he asked, hawk-like eyes focusing.

"Check on Naruto." Kakashi ordered, voice quiet and drowsy. Sasuke's eyebrow quirked upwards, but he obeyed his teacher's command without question.

The sky outside was still dark in the early morning hour in which Sasuke was climbing the stairs. He was careful not to step on Sakura and crept into Inari's room with practiced expertise. Even with the space's complete absence of light, Sasuke was able to find his rival instantly.

Without disturbing Inari, the shirtless Uchiha swooped down beside the quiet Naruto.

"Dobe," he whispered, somehow thinking there would be a reply. There wasn't one, of course, but Sasuke could hear Naruto breathing. It sounded labored; not as bad as it had the night before, though. Just to be sure of his assessment, Sasuke stood there for another two minutes before darting back into the lower floor.

Kakashi had fallen back asleep in his absence, so Sasuke shook until one of his instructor's eyes opened disdainfully.

"Naruto's fine." the sullen boy whispered, causing Kakashi to nod and attempt to sit up. He failed utterly, and Sasuke didn't bother catching him. There was a 'thunk' sound, and it was just enough to wake Sakura. She made a few strange sounds when she noticed the shirt covering her, which in turn roused Tazuna and his hangover. Predictably, the next few minutes were not pleasant for anyone, and ended up waking Inari and his mother as well.

There was a boisterous breakfast that morning, consisting of meager portions and Tazuna ranting about one thing or another. The copy ninja wearily shoveled in as much food as he could take before eyeing the loud-mouthed patriarch at the table and informing him that Zabuza was still alive. He had made sure to use a casual tone, but the old man and Sakura were panicking regardless. To stop Tazuna's sputtering, he backed up his deduction with the evidence at hand.

With that little thing out of the way, Kakashi announced that even though he couldn't be doing it, persay, his students would be training. Before even allowing his pupils to argue, he grabbed a crutch that Tazuna's daughter had handed to him and ushered them outside into the chilly morning air.

The day had begun.

* * *

Any sense of time was removed from Naruto's unconscious mind. The realm of the dead held him close, unable to claim him. In short spurts, he swore he could hear the voices whisper to him again, and others, he heard muffled voices that sounded even more familiar. Hands grasped him, moved him, and he could do nothing to fight or assist them. He was helpless, but warm. In fact, he could have sworn he was just asleep. There was no nightmare; no orange-furred demon staring him down, just the sensation of being completely at peace with the world. It was like being a child, nestled deep in the blankets of a parent's bed-a comfort the Uzumaki had never known. Therefore, it was understandable that the orphan would be more than a little irritated at the manner in which he was jarred back into awareness.

Two fingers pried open his right eyelid, revealing a hazy and melancholy-looking face that Naruto immediately recognized. It took a certain amount of self-control not to shout the boy's name in irritation. They hadn't gotten along right away the first time they met, and apparently this bout would be no different.

Inari's expression reminded him of Sasuke. The sulking look didn't suit the child's frame, to be sure. It made him look sour and sick. Like Sasuke, the builder's grandson had black hair. Unlike Sasuke, however, his face was extremely round and potentially rosy. The sulking didn't suit the kid, but the crease developing on his forehead told a tale of constant sorrow.

The room the two inhabited at the moment was as familiar as Inari himself, window facing outside in front of a desk. The bedroll Naruto was using was on the floor just in front of it, rough wood snagging the cloth.

"You're awake," Inari remarked dryly, withdrawing his offending hand without an explanation or apology. The kid bent over Naruto's harried head and scowled, getting uncomfortably close to communicate the point that he was angry about something. "-you were really messed up yesterday. Serves you right for trying to fight Gato. Maybe you can tell the others that, too."

Naruto was in no mood to hear anything of the sort from anyone, and let Inari in on that anecdote by a light blow to the face. Well, it was light in Naruto's opinion. Inari started sniffling from the floor where he had been forced, eyeing his attacker like a dangerous criminal. It was a manipulative gesture. Needless to say, however, Naruto was not moved.

"Stop your sniveling, you little creep." the Uzumaki growled, clutching his belly and working to stand. "-we're here to help your grandfather, you could be a bit more grateful."

"You're going to die." Inari stated like a fact, still letting the occasional whimper escape his frame. He spoke the phrase with such conviction it made Naruto sick.

"Heroes don't die." Naruto retorted with forced calm, putting the bedclothes in order.

"There aren't heroes in this world!" the black-haired child wailed, very loudly in the hopes that the orange-loving ninja would glance at him. Blue eyes fell upon him, looking alternately pissed and compassionate. The two emotions warred with one another for a second before deciding on pissed. The blonde rounded on his pessimistic companion with a snarl.

"You'd better believe there are heroes! I'm gonna be one of the best!" Naruto's voice echoed all the way downstairs, causing Inari's mother to startle over the stove. The gruel she was preparing for lunch was no worse off, but her terrified, her first thoughts involving fear of a break-in. How else could the arrival of a new voice be explained? Inari didn't make friends easily. He never had, and the auburn-haired woman was not going to believe he had just turned over a new leaf.

Inari wasn't the only one in danger, either. The shortest, youngest ninja in the group had been on the verge of death when they had arrived, the little girl known as Sakura supporting him and huffing like she'd run a marathon, accompanied by Tazuna and Sasuke carrying a drunkenly-exhausted Kakashi. They had looked at his wounds and set him up in Inari's room over the span of a very hectic night, forcing her son to watch their would-be protector at all times. Together, the two would be helpless, and maternal instincts pushed her into action.

Pot in hand, Inari's mother ran up the stairs and opened Theodoratos find a sight that ultimately spelt the death of lunch. The gruel fell onto the rough wood flooring, accompanied by her jaw. There was no thug or broken window, only the wounded boy who had been almost dead twelve hours prior standing over her son, looking quite determined, albeit a bit pale.

"I can't stand cowards like you! If nobody stands up, there are no heroes, sure. You have to WORK for change, don't you?!"

"Inari!" the builder's daughter shouted, finally finding her voice. "What's going on in here?"

Inari ignored her inquiry and grimaced at his new verbal opponent. "What good is a dead hero?"

"Worthless!" Naruto yelled.

Inari blinked, confused. Had he just won? Had this visiting shinobi just seen the light of logic?

"Worthless, so you have to try harder. A real hero doesn't let something stop him, no matter what!" Naruto amended, making it very apparent that he still thought Inari's way of thinking was a load of bunk.

The bridge-builder's grandson was at a loss for words, his face livid. Without another word, he bolted out of the room, trailing gruel behind him. The next few seconds consisted of an extremely uncomfortable silence, Tazuna's daughter eyeing the Yondaime's son in confusion and bewilderment before he broke the silence.

"Here, let me help you clean this up, lady." he muttered, scooping up some of the gruel with his hands and placing it into the container from which it came. Naruto figured that it was the least he could do for her hospitality. He really couldn't bring himself to apologize. In all honesty, the apology of 'I'm sorry, but I punched your son because he was a whiny git who needs to get over his stinking self pity or I will hurt him even more' really wouldn't have smoothed things over, anyway.

It was all he could do to work hard. The act in itself was simple, but it spoke volumes about the shinobi's character. Naruto winced when he moved his abdomen too quickly, but cleaned the entire mess without complaining one bit.

The auburn woman watched the boy labor on the menial task without her having asked with incredulity. Like any common adult would be, she was pleased. Naruto hadn't the intention of buttering her up, but she found herself more likely to assist him anyway. He came across as mature, and doubtful though she might be, she couldn't withhold the location of Kakashi's makeshift training grounds from him when he asked a few minutes later. The teacher would be displeased, she imagined, that his wounded student was given lease to run around so freely while he should have rested.

She watched him hobble out of her house with morbid fascination. He was in a lot of pain, she could tell. He had asked her how he looked before leaving, but she really didn't have the heart to be honest with him. His teammates would undoubtedly send him back, possibly crushed, but he deserved to see them, even if he looked pathetic. Sakura (she congratulated herself on remembering the girl's name), would be very relieved. She seemed the most worried of the three. That wasn't a fair judgment of Kakashi since he was unconscious at the time, but as far as the other boy was concerned, he probably was putting on a tough face he forced even himself to believe. It was unsettling, but so was having deadly warriors in your house to begin with.


	13. 18 Nuts and Loons

Disclaimer: I'm bloody insane and borrowing Naruto from Kishimoto for a few hundred chapters, 'kay?

a/n: I like eggs.

* * *

Naruto stumbled through the lush forest I the direction Inari's mother had indicated. His strides were getting a bit more steady, but two miles without his usual energy level… it wasn't fun, to say the least. As much as he should have been planning for the events ahead, the short boy could not tear his focus away from the task at hand. Every reed, rock, and twig that stood in his way was a potential threat.

The journey took him forty-five minutes instead of his usual ten, and when he approached a semi-familiar clearing, he heard the sound of a butt hitting the ground.

"You're putting too much chakra into it, Sasuke." he heard Kakashi remark dryly, followed by the turning from a page of the smut book he loved so much. Naruto found himself smiling through the heaving he had entertained. His teacher would not be paying strict attention to his surroundings, leaving him at the wannabe-hokage's mercy.

* * *

The cogs in the back of Naruto's head had a war on the perfect prank that presented itself. Half of his brain's electric currents wanted to be rational and just announce his presence like a normal person. The other half accused the first of being traitors to the brain of Naruto Uzumaki and ostracized them like the rejects they were. A manic gleam developed in those bright blue eyes, accompanied by a quiet smile.

With a sudden burst of energy, he shot up a nearby tree like an orange streak. His teammates remained unaware, too preoccupied with their training(and erotic novels) to scan the trees for movement. It would have been a waste of energy, too. The forest was filled with squirrels and their ilk, scampering from one place to the next with instinct and finesse. Perhaps that was where Naruto got his idea, for a few seconds later,Kakashi was dragged out of his guilty pleasure by a slight impact to his head. Thinking it something from nature, the Hatake's hands ran through his hair to search for the gravity-affected object.

The jonin looked at it and groaned. It wasn't even a crap, I was just a small nut. He had let his guard down for a sole nut? He remembered from books he had read as a child that squirrels sometimes pelted intruders on their territory. He didn't care, though. One squirrel wasn't going to keep him from his book a moment longer. Without so much as a word, Kakashi returned to his book.

Thirty seconds of peace elapsed before a larger impact greeted Kakashi's cranium. With a one-eyed glare shot up into the forest's canopy, Kakashi pulled another nut from his gray mane. Had the elite not been exhausted, he probably would have sensed his student's presence behind a particularly thick tuft of leaves. Blue eyes watched the teacher in interest when the man dragged himself over to another tree to take out the book again.

If Naruto had more chakra, there would have been hundreds of nuts thrown. However, since the boy knew his own weakened state, he had to make due. The Uzumaki grabbed the handful of leaves he had gathered and began to henge them into more nuts. Larger than the two he had thrown, in fact. It nearly made him lose his balance, but the deed was done. The leaves that looked and felt like two-pound nuts fell down on Kakashi like a very short rainstorm. Kakashi, who had thought himself in the clear, managed to avoid the seemingly protein-rich volley by a few inches. By this time, the copy ninja was aware that it was no mere squirrel they were dealing with.

Not knowing what to expect, Kakashi readied himself for a fight.

"Sasuke! Sakura!" he called. Sasuke peeled his eyes off of the tree he was scaling, and Sakura peled her eyes off of Sasuke. Seeing the look of apprehension of her teacher's face, Sakura began to pale.

"Who… What is it?" she whispered, eyes straining into the canopy.

"I don't know, but they are very proficient with their giant nuts." the older shinobi stated seriously, unprepared for what happened next.

Sasuke, of all people, was never one to laugh. When something happened that was simple minded or entertaining, he would usually just turn away and be annoyed with it. I this case, however, a very unfamiliar sound came from his airway at the Hatake's warning. Sasuke snorted with incredulity, gagging down a chuckle.

Sakura did a double-take. There were no nuts on the ground, wounding her teacher, or in the trees, so what the hell was going on? Was Kakashi's exhaustion catching up with him?

"…Nuts, sensei?" came Sasuke's skeptic inquiry.

"Yeah," the adult replied, suddenly aware of how stupid he was sounding.

"Where? I don't see any nuts." Sakura eyed her teacher with observation. Kakashi immediately pointed to the ground next to where he left his book, only to twitch when he saw leaves and realized there was a slight breeze. There was a short silence wherein the team's leader thought about how he was supposed to phrase the potentially dangerous situation without sounding insane or perverted when a series of sounds caught the attention of all three present

First, there was the laughter. The childish, uproarious laughter of a boy who should have been either comatose or dead.

"Wha-?" Sakura stammered, hardly believing her ears. "No WAY!"

Sasuke looked like he had seen a ghost, and without realizing it had mirrored his sensei's expression. Before anyone had a chance to react, there was the sound of a branch breaking followed by an obnoxious yelp of surprise.

Naruto was not exactly overjoyed with the sudden 'break' in his plans. Nor was he entirely comfortable with the forty-three foot drop to the ground that he was approaching at break-neck speed.

"GWAAAAAAAAHHHH!" he had continued screaming and flailing in fear after his fall had been halted by a grip that was a bit tighter then it should have been around his ankle. Kakashi eyed his catch with every emotion he could think of, but his appearance settled on apathy.

"Well, well," he drawled, "it seems you're feeling better, Naruto."

Coming to the conclusion he wasn't dead, Naruto opened his eyes to observe the people around him and give his most charming 'please don't stab me' face.

Sakura's brain almost reeled visibly when the teacher dropped Naruto on the ground face-first. Sasuke eyed the orange contours dubiously while they twitched.

"Naruto?" Sakura asked, her voice half-venomous, half-sweet. The blonde twitched and emitted some muffled sounds into the soil.

"R shrdv shn thr lrk n yr grrph fshes." came Naruto's voice, chipper and hoarse. His three comrades stared, Sasuke's eye twitching on occasion. The whole situation seemed pretty unreal.

"I said," Naruto corrected a second later, giggling feebly and rolling over, "-you should have seen the look on your guys' faces."


	14. No Comparison

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine, and I don't know how many times I have to reinforce this.

* * *

"Naruto," Kakashi said for what must have been the fourth time in the past three minutes, "go back to the house and rest. " The jonin's fingers drummed restlessly on his elbows in an irritated rhythm. However lively Naruto appeared to be, the bandages on his mid-riff spoke for themselves in a fresh red splotch. It was small as of yet, but the last thing the teacher needed was for his charge to re-open the wound.

"…now." the Hatake amended, not sounding as intimidating as he had intended.

"No!" the blonde argued, standing his ground with a Sakura-induced lump on his head. A breeze graced the clearing, making the empass more dramatic than it should have been. Naruto Uzumaki bit down on his lower lip. For reasons involving the vitality of meeting with Haku, Naruto couldn't obey his teacher's orders. Not that he'd want to, anyway. The wound that caused him such an amount of trouble was only a third of what is was the evening prior. Besides, he NEEDED to pass out for this plan to work.

Naruto took great care to be annoying. If he endeared his teammates in the next few minutes, it would be dangerous to the chain of events that were needed for Naruto's quest for less bloodshed. He would fight with Sasuke, climb the tree with his chakra and prove them all wrong and THEN allow the lethargy he had so skillfully fought off take him. If his team was irritated enough, they would leave him there for Haku to find.

"Naruto, go back to bed!" Sakura scolded, joined by a nod of agreement for his royal highness, Sasuke.

"No freaking way!" Naruto yelled, pointing at his Uchiha rival accusingly, "I can do whatever he's doing with my hands tied!"

Sakura's face began to contort into a snarl. Sasuke looked like he'd just eaten something highly unpleasant, and Kakashi was forced into an exasperated sigh that Naruto was quite accustomed to.

"Fine, Naruto, but after you see it, it's back to bed with you." he conceded, speaking as if Naruto were less than five years old and asking to observe a lunar eclipse past his bedtime.

"Deal." Naruto held out his hand to shake on it, and was promptly ignored by the gray-haired shinobi who point at a tree. After a split second, his index finger wandered to a more specific focal point. A kunai was lodged in the bark fairly high in the air. With no small amount of satisfaction, Naruto noted that Sasuke's elevation markings were nowhere near the objective yet.

"Sasuke is climbing this tree by focusing chakra in his feet. If he uses too little, he won't be able to climb it, and if he uses too much, he'll be propelled off the tree, and…," the adult trailed off to the sound of Sakura shrieking at Naruto irritably.

"Naruto! He said you could SEE it! Get down from there!" the pink-haired adolescent shouted, just two feet to the right of a very unhappy Sasuke. The look on their faces were almost as entertaining to Naruto as the results of what would later be affectionately referred to as the 'Nutcase' incident. From his position on the tree, he regarded his comrade with a triumphant grin.

"…Naruto, when did you get up there?" the teacher asked calmly, fairly certain that the boy had cheated in some way.

"While you were talking, Kakashi-sensei." the smiling youth replied, eyeing his pointy objective.

"…Did you know it's rude to leave when someone's speaking to you?" the jonin asked again, masking his surprise at Naruto's abilities with his odd way of speaking.

Ignoring his instructor, Naruto plucked the kunai from it's lofty pirch and beamed at his accomplishment.

"So, should I leave it here for Sasuke-teme or take it down?" he asked mischievously, aware that the horizontal position of his body was putting some strain on his injury. Before anyone had a chance to react, the Uzumaki boy put a hand to his ear.

"What's that, teme? Lodge it up higher? Whatever you say, Sasuke-hime."

Sasuke had taken more than he could handle of Naruto's antics at that point. Between the fact that the blonde, though injured, could still do a task a Uchiha was struggling with like it was nothing was bad enough. With the 'princess' remark added to the current friction between the two, Sasuke did the only thing he could think of. With wild eyes, the young avenger charged the tree. The dobe would pay for injuring his pride.

To Naruto's unending amusement, Sasuke failed to get even ten feet the first two times. On the third go, however, Sasuke doubled the summit of his climb before being propelled off in his anger. Kakashi, in a rare display of wisdom, attempted to stop his black-haired student from attempting the stunt again only to be violently batted away.

Sasuke charged up the tree's trunk a fourth time, eyes trained on Naruto like a hawk on a mouse. Below him, he could hear Sakura's cheers for his progress. Kakashi, on the other hand, eyed the entire ordeal with distaste. His visible eye frowned, and the hand that had tried to put a stop to Sasuke's rage slipped into a pocket in a thoughtful manner.

"You…!" Sasuke snarled, finding himself closer to Naruto with every elapsed second.

Naruto was running out of tree to climb. He had anticipated Sasuke's outburst, but he hadn't expected the sour-faced Uchiha to actually succeed in pursuing him. Perhaps the three had been training longer than he thought.

With Sasuke less than a meter below him, Naruto had to act quickly. In a calculated and very taxing move, the jinchuuriki leapt from his verdant perch to a neighboring tree, where he grappled the branches like his life depended on it. Unfortunately, Sasuke had no trouble following his quarry. A quick glance behind him told Naruto that if he didn't do something fast, his livid rival was going to teach him the meaning of 'friendly fire'.

Having next to no stamina left, and needing to preserve his chakra reserves for recovery, Naruto's course of action wasn't hard to decide on. With a parting insult to Sasuke's masculinity, Naruto stopped pushing off his exhaustion. It overtook him like a vertigo, dimming his perception almost instantly. Without any fear of the ground below him, Naruto sauntered off of the tree's branches and nearly dropped a considerable distance. Thankfully, Sasuke's anger had subsided when Naruto was in immediate peril, and instead of causing the loud-mouthed son of the yondaime grievous bodily harm, the young Uchiha prevented it by catching Naruto's arm.

Within the span of three minutes, Naruto was laid gently across the forest floor, where he occasionally snorted in his deep slumber. Sasuke was in a less comfortable position, Kakashi sternly looking into his face.

"What was that?" the teacher asked, his voice unnervingly serious. Sasuke looked away from his sensei with his lips in a tight line.

"What?" he asked, uninterested in explaining himself.

"You tried to assault a teammate for a simple comment, Sasuke." Kakashi reminded, noting that Sakura was looking more uncomfortable by the second.

"So? I didn't hurt him." Sasuke muttered darkly, earning an even more intense stare from the former ANBU operative.

"You stopped me from restraining you. You disobeyed me in a way that could have been potentially fatal in the field of duty. That is not the way a true shinobi acts."

"So, you're comparing me to Naruto now? Are you saying a 'true' shinobi baits everyone else and generally make an ass of themselves?" Sasuke's face twisted again, but Kakashi was unshaken.

"I never compared you to Naruto, Sasuke," the jonin replied, still standing with as much authority as he could muster.

Sasuke's face remained spiteful, but nothing more was said.

"Um… Should we take Naruto back with us?" Sakura broke into the tense atmosphere, causing Kakashi to shrug, exposing a Sasuke who was suddenly enamored by the dirt.

"Nah. I think this is the only way to get him to rest, anyway."

"You're a bad person, Sensei."

* * *

Author's note: Do you love me? Eh? If you don't, that's fine. I have a wii over here. 


	15. Gender Confusion

Disclaimer: Hey, you! Yeah, you! Have you had enough of these yet? Naruto has been disclaimed!

* * *

Kakashi had a very interesting night without Naruto to contend with. No matter where he went, however, he couldn't escape that boy's influence, it seemed. The bridge-builder's grandson had a nice little bruise on the side of his face, ad Kakashi knew full well where it had come from. Judging from the boy's mannerisms throughout that evening, the jonin came to understand why Naruto had use the kid's face for target practice. The pessimism streaming off of Inari was almost nauseating.

Halfway through the evening meal, Inari tore from the room in a miniature tantrum, yelling at the trio of Konoha ninja to just leave, and that there was no chance, yatta-yatta. Kakashi would have been perfectly content to continue eating as if it had never happened, but unfortunately, there was a female present. He'd never quite understand the feminine need to fix things. Sometimes life was better when left alone.

"Why is he like that?" Sakura had asked Tazuna, referring to his moody grandson. The slightly-drunken man had regarded her blearily and began a story of heroism and loss. Inari's adoptive father's death had broken him, and the child had gone as far as to cut the man's face out of the family photograph and hide it in his room.

Sasuke listened impassively, but Sakura was disturbed, to say the least. She didn't understand why her teammate would hit someone who had been through so much.

"How could Naruto be cruel to Inari?" she went as far as asking aloud.

"Naruto knows suffering, Sakura. He was like Inari once, I believe. For him, however, there was no father, no mother, no family." Kakashi answered her, evoking thought and an incredulous expression from the girl.

"But-" she interjected, most likely condemning the act of violence that her comrade had committed.

"It's his way, Sakura. You've no right to judge it."

If Naruto's actions hadn't been the teacher's partial responsibility, Kakashi doubted that he would have even bothered pulling the kid outside like he did. Inari had been unwilling to look at him, and held his arms in a bunch. It would have been cute in a photograph, but circumstances were entirely different in reality.

"Don't hate Naruto, Inari," the man had stated casually, not bothering to make eye contact with someone who wasn't interested. The addressed allowed his face to sour even further, if it was possible.

"He punched me! What's his problem, anyway?" the boy muttered contemptuously, not really expecting an answer.

"…Inari, Naruto grew up without the love of a family or friends. He was treated as a monster by our village for something he didn't do. Instead of feeling sorry for himself like you do, though, he just worked harder for respect. He is trying to become the Hokage-"

Inari interrupted with a hoot of disbelief. "Him? Hokage?!"

"Yes, Inari. He toils for what he gets. While he's not especially skilled at anything, Naruto strives to become the greatest warrior in our village. Strange as it sounds, I'm beginning to think he'll actually accomplish his dream. He has a strange ability, that boy."

Inari was actually looking at Kakashi in the eyes now, a spark of vitality lit in his formerly frigid expression.

"Now, you can imagine that he had to train himself off of tears. What would he have accomplished if he had locked himself away and cried all the time?"

Shamed though he might have been by the Hatake's statement, Inari's clouded mind became somewhat clearer. A revelation came to him.

"He… did it to teach me?" the builder's grandson asked quietly, earning himself a nod and hidden smile from the elite ninja to his right, who then stood up and re-entered the builder's house. Inari was left in solitude to think about his life(and where Naruto went, as the orange-clad genin was hard to miss).

Sakura felt a pang of guilt from her seat on the windowsill. Eavesdropping was invasive and rude. Why was it, then, that she had played the hypocrite and listened to Kakashi speak with Inari? What she had learned about Naruto was admirable, but all the same, shouldn't she have already noticed these things?

_No, Sakura. You were too busy being irritated by him, weren't you? _

Her thoughts were laced with guilt, but at the same time, she realized just how quickly she had judged her potential ally yet again. It was wrong; a testament to her selfishness. _Not just me,_ she reminded herself_, -nearly all of Konoha. I grew up thinking it was nothing, but now…_

Sakura did not sleep well that night. Most of the pre-morning hours were spent staring at a ceiling that was in need of repair while she restlessly tried to understand the mystery that Naruto Uzumaki had become.

* * *

Haku's brown eyes regarded the lush foliage of the Wave Country with admiration. The world, which he had long since concluded was not for him, was a complicated and beautiful place. Everything and everyone had a part to play inside it, both at once simple and profound.

Kneeling down, the young ninja's hands brushed over a moist bit of brush and reclaimed it from the earth. With the grace of a priestess, Haku placed the plant into a basket to join several others of its ilk. The plants in question were medicinal, and the child from the Mist Village was very happy to have found them. They would serve Master Zabuza well.

With a surprisingly clean hand, Haku counted the objects in his basket. There was almost enough for the salve he was looking to make, but there were a few ingredients to go. Sighing, the youth looked at the sky for some sort of measure of time. Morning was almost over, and with it would flee some of the tell-tale blossoms of an herb he yet needed to acquire.

Haku refused to be disheartened, and resolved to work faster. That being said, the shinobi in question continued his trek through the forest. He had little luck, but refused to abandon the search until something very orange caught his scouring eye. A person, perhaps?

A closer inspection revealed that the object was indeed a human being. Mud speckled the pallid face of a boy who couldn't be more than twelve years of age. The kid was a leaf ninja, but that didn't diminish or enhance his worth. In Haku's eyes, a human was a human. Nothing more; nothing less.

Compassion kicked into Haku's system immediately, and Zabuza was momentarily forgotten in favor of the young, blonde stranger.

Haku's delicate hands brushed over the boy in a short assessment, causing the orange-clad adolescent to mutter like one asleep.

The examination halted when Naruto's midriff was exposed, a bloody bandage covered in dirt. Grimacing at the new discovery, the well-meaning hand tensed. Whoever was responsible for the boy was a bad person. There was a reason bandages were changed regularly; infections can very quickly become deadly. With that thought in mind, Haku swiftly ripped the tainted gauze off his unofficial patient's torso.

Naruto woke up screaming. Even the ever-calm Haku resorted to wincing at the sudden arousal(in the old English way, not the perverted way) of the genin. The skin under the bandage was bloody and raw, but before Haku could get a close look at it, the orange jacket was closed by the now-alert Uzumaki.

"That hurt!" came the blonde's rasping voice, cracked with dehydration from sleeping for eighteen hours straight. His eyes took their time in focusing, but he could only feign surprise when the familiar silhouette of Haku blocked his few of the forest canopy. The situation suddenly became awkward. Well, more so than it could have been if Naruto had planned better.

"You're awake, I see." Haku took the first move, which was to Naruto's relief. The alto voice that was not distinctly male or female was soothing to the ear when compared to his own. "What are you doing out here?"

"Training, miss! I am going to become really powerful, you'll see!" he replied, once again opting to address Haku as a female. He couldn't help it, really. Nearly everything about the Mist ninja's aura screamed 'femme'. In truth, when Haku had confessed to being male, the hokage-wannabe had felt crushed. It was a silly thing that only lasted five minutes, but all the same, he REALLY wished Haku was a girl for both of their sakes.

"Why do fight to become stronger?" the gentle voice questioned, a repeat of Naruto's memories.

Unlike the last time Haku had asked that question, the current Naruto needed no elaboration.

"I have someone special I want to protect." Naruto answered firmly, earning a smile from his fated opponent.

"That's very admirable." Haku commented, standing up and looking at the forest floor in disdain.

"Do you need help, miss?" Naruto asked, earnestly wanting to assist Haku once again. Perhaps the other shinobi noticed this, because he nodded an explained the plant he was looking for in exquisite detail.

The next hour Naruto spent was employed with searching for the elusive(and by this time, flowerless) herb. When he finally located it, he quickly handed it to Haku's outstretched hand and grinned widely.

"Anything else you need?" he asked, absorbed in the strange euphoria he gained from helping people. Haku, in turn, smiled again and shook his elegant head slowly.

"I must leave now, leaf ninja. You will become strong."

Naruto positively beamed when he addressed Haku again. "My name isn't 'leaf ninja', miss. It's Naruto."

"Naruto is a good name." the mist ninja said absently, nodding .

"What's yours?" Naruto then asked, wondering if the other kid would even reply. True to his assumption, Haku did not acknowledge the inquiry, and started walking off to make the salve for Zabuza. There were a few seconds where Naruto didn't know whether or not Haku was going to drop his parting bombshell.

"By the way, I'm a boy." the words did come before Haku was out of sight, and Naruto was again left alone wondering how a boy so feminine could exist.

* * *

Author's note: Bleh. Dangnabbit. I lost three hours on this sucker. 


	16. Gato Season!

Disclaimer: Naruto and all associated characters are trademarked by Funimation. I like eggs scrambled and in soup. Eleventy-one!

* * *

Naruto waited in the clearing for about three five minutes, contemplating whether or not he should go through with a new improvisational plan that had crept into his head. On the bright side, it could save the lives of Haku and Zabuza. On the downside, he could die at the hands of Gato(or Sakura, if Gato didn't get him.)

There wasn't much time to ponder, and Naruto quickly left his rationality aside and avored the impulse. With a silent bound, the genin began his pursuit of Haku. It would be difficult to follow such an experienced tracker, but the attempt was made.

Throughout the duration of the journey, Naruto stayed in the shadows as much as possible. From time to time, his breathe would catch when Haku would turn around, peering around suspiciously. The Uzumaki hoped, with all his heart, that the mist ninja did that out of habit. There was no end to the possibilities for his suffering if Zabuza knew Haku had been trailed. Knowing Zabuza, Naruto feared for what would happen to Haku as punishment for allowing himself to be followed in the first place.

The walk was a long one, as Haku never changed his speed. At times, Naruto felt he was going in circles, and that his quarry had, in fact, noticed Naruto's presence. After the evening arrival at the marsh, however, the young ninja of Konoha was relieved to find he was probably just paranoid.

From behind a distant rock, he watched Haku enter a well-guarded bungalow. He was stopped at the door, but told something to a sentry and was allowed inside. Naruto wished he could have heard what the boy had said. It might have been a password of some kind. Of course, there were _other _ways of entering a building, but the blonde didn't like lapsing into W.W.G.D.(What Would Gaara Do).

Night fell around the waiting shinobi, and the guards did things that could be expected. They changed shifts, talked to each other, and occasionally threw things at wildlife. Naruto wished he still had his summoning contract with the toads. In a situation like he was in, they would have been invaluable scouts and messengers. Well, that and the humorous picture of how they would react if hit by one of those lowlives. Those guards would get what was coming to them!

As it was, there was no safe way to send a message to his team to inform them of his whereabouts. A shadow clone would be detected if there were any skilled ninja in the rough group of guards, and Naruto wasn't willing to tap into his chakra reserves. Hell, he was almost scared to go to the bathroom if there was a chance of being found out. No, he had to stay absolutely still and learned more about the schedule of the hideout.

* * *

Team 7 was becoming impatient. Twenty-nine hours had passed since the 'Nutcase' incident, and the loudmouthed ninja behind it had yet to return. From a medical perspective, keeping the fox's chakra in mind, Kakashi knew that Naruto was probably healthy again. On a related note, there was no way that the hyperactive twelve-year-old would have slept soundly for over a day if even one night of near-death didn't keep him off his feet. So, the question came to pass, what was that time employed by? 

For a while, Kakashi Hatake had convinced himself that Naruto had probably stayed out longer to train. After the second nightfall, though, the teacher found himself on edge with the missing presence at the dinner table. Sasuke and Sakura also stole a glance at it from time to time, he noticed. Something was wrong with the picture, and even Tazuna picked up on it. Inari intermittently looked out the window.

Naruto, with all his interesting qualities, liked food. To be without it for an extended period of time would definitely send him running back to the nearest house where food could be found. Since Tazuna's house was the only place where he could be fed if he wanted anything that wasn't raw and filthy, he should have returned for the meal.

"Where's the loud-mouthed brat?" the builder asked bluntly, interrupting any casual conversation with food still in his mouth. In a flash, all eyes were on Kakashi. He knew the question would come up, and he had an answer prepared.

"Probably off in the forest, training," he said monotonously, scratching his nose.

"Probably," Sasuke echoed, his ego still sore from the other day. He didn't care much, but the empty place at the table made him a little uncomfortable, like being in combat with only part of his arsenal. His pale face contrasted with Sakura, who seemed to be turning a little red. Oddly enough, it wasn't from the fact she was sitting next to Sasuke.

"Probably, sensei?" she asked conversationally, though her voice held an edge that only her family and teammates would know, "Maybe we should LOOK for him, then?"

"Maybe," Kakashi nodded, shifting his position to sternly look at Sasuke,"-our Sasuke can use his amazing talents to retrieve him for us."

"Why me?" Sasuke worked very hard to master his unease, feeling his teacher's gaze on him like a beam. He was still in trouble for the other day, and he was wondering just how Kakashi had intended to punish him.

"Well," he explained, his eyes never leaving the Uchiha, "I'm injured, and though I mean no offense, Sakura isn't skilled enough to wander about after dark alone."

"That's a red-assed lie!" Sakura swore, surprising everyone at the table. Kakashi just looked at her.

"You think you could take on enemy ninja in complete darkness?" the teacher asked casually, shifting in his seat.

Sakura's face blushed even deeper. "Who said anything about enemy ninja?! You said the objective was to find Naruto, who is 'probably' training!"

"You're smart, aren't you, Sakura? Isn't the term 'probably' indicative of me not being sure?" Kakashi semi-snapped at her, slowly transitioning into seriousness.

" I_think_ Naruto is training, but there is a possibility that something else has happened. If that is the case, I don't want to send someone who unprepared for a serious situation. I need someone with a level head on their shoulders."

"Then why don't you go?!" she asked, somewhere between fear and disgust with the jonin's insensitivity.

Kakashi stood up and rubbed his temple, another headache coming on. Why did they not figure these things out on their own?

"Zabuza is after Tazuna, right? Would you and Sasuke be able to handle him alone in the event Naruto really was missing? Is it more dangerous to be at the bulls-eye of a target or in the straw?"

"The straw," Sakura admitted, her passion draining.

"Now, are you going to stay here and let Sasuke find Naruto on his own?" Kakashi asked with surprising gentility.

Sakura sat still for a minute or so, looking at the ground. Kakashi, despite all his insight, had no idea of what the girl was thinking. Sasuke didn't bother waiting for her to answer. After quickly downing his bowl of lightly-seasoned rice, the Uchiha made to leave the house. It was only when he was just about to exit that he heard Sakura's voice.

"No," she said with atypical confidence.

Kakashi's visible eye perked up in interest. "What?"

Sakura got to her feet and tied back her hair, unaware that she was being gaped at by her beloved Sasuke.

"I said 'no', Kakashi-sensei. If Naruto really is in danger, Sasuke couldn't handle an enemy like the Demon Brothers alone. You, on the other hand, are the only one capable of fighting Zabuza." she concluded, expecting to be berated again.

Kakashi Hatake smiled beneath his mask. His only female pupil was stronger than she thought. Truth be told, he had intended to keep Sakura away from Sasuke only because of her obsessive crush. To his pleasant surprise, it seemed that childish problem would no longer be an issue.

"Then go now, or Sasuke will leave without you."

Sakura gave a determined smile, nodded to Saske, and in a flash they departed. Once they were gone, the infamous Kakashi sighed with relief. In a simple gesture, he took off his mask and stole Sakura's half-eaten bowl.

"They finally left," he told the gawking family he shared the table with,"-and I'm hungry."

Inari's mother fainted.

* * *

Author's note: At last, the plot thickens again. Oh, beta reader, please forgive me. I was too impatient with this chapter. Hopefully you'll enjoy it even though you didn't get to make it coherent for others. SHAME ON MY SILLY BRAIN! 


	17. Good Naruto Hunting

Disclaimer: My fanfic brings all the characters I don't own to the yard.

* * *

Sasuke sprinted through the humid night with Sakura to his immediate left. The forest floor was solid enough beneath their feet, roots meaning nothing to someone alert. The Uchiha considered himself lucky; the person he was searching for would stick out like a sore thumb, and orange jacket in the darkness.

As far as Sasuke was concerned, his blonde comrade was indefinitely in the training field, working hard to show off and belittle Sasuke yet again. Oddly enough, that was the best case scenario in his mind. He didn't want Naruto in danger, and he definitely did not want Naruto back at the house if they returned empty-handed. If the last situation ended up being the case, the blue-eyed preteen would learn something very important about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Something in the black-haired boy thirsted for drama; a drama he could find nowhere else among his many admirers that would spur him on. Among his peers, only Naruto had the nerve to pull that sort of stunt. Grudgingly, he had to admit that the dobe had succeeded in helping him in that way. If his rival was more intelligent, Sasuke would suspect it was an intentional habit.

The sprint to the training ground where Naruto was probably located was a quiet one. It was a refreshing change, to be honest. Their footsteps kept a rhythm only an insane dancer would attempt to match, and their movement caused a breeze to grace the forest.

Upon their arrival in the clearing, Sasuke scoured the canopy instantly, his hands shielding his face. The last thing he wanted was a henged leaf to the eye. Sakura, on the other hand, actually did her job without any fear for her dignity. If Naruto was going to pop out of nowhere and make her scream, then he was going to pop out of nowhere and make her scream even if she tried to avoid it. Naruto was gifted like that.

To the pink-haired girl's disdain, there was no Naruto on the ground or in the bushes. To Sasuke's relief, there was no Naruto in the upper branches of the trees waiting to strike him. They exchanged these conclusions after about three minutes of searching the area, and Sasuke was just as ready to go back to the house and tell Kakashi that the idiot had just upand ditched them when Sakura flung something at his face.

Whatever it was, it smelled bad. A mixture of sweat, blood, dirt, and crushed grass. Undeniably irritated, Sasuke peeled said object off his face to identify it, only to find himself queasy.

In his hands, he held Naruto Uzumaki's filthy bandage, which looked like it had been torn off.

"This is-," Sasuke trailed off, confused as hell,"-Where did you find this, Sakura?"

"Over there," she replied, pointing to a spot of grass that was still slightly pressed from Naruto having laid there for nearly twenty-four hours straight. Her face was uneasy, but when Sasuke's face held a hint of fear when he absorbed this information, it took a great deal of self-control not to appear terrified.

The amount of knowledge Sasuke and Sakura had on Naruto's personality was extensive, but they knew very little of his physical condition. Had they been informed that Naruto was, in fact, a container for a tailed-beast, there would have been a lot of angst. Still, they would have at least been able to draw a conclusion that wasn't as flawed.

"Who would take him?" Sakura asked quietly, suddenly suspicious of everything that moved.

"Gato must have patrols. If a man wants to take out a man so badly, it only makes sense that they would our the land surrounding his house. Kakashi was an idiot to leave him there!" Sasuke felt tainted with the change of internal chemicals that occurred with the thought of having losing Naruto on his conscience(and Kakashi's reports).

"Where would they take him? Do you think he's alright?" Sakura pressed, causing irritation to return to her companion's features.

"He's more valuable as a hostage than a corpse, Sakura. He'd be a nice bargaining chip against us, now, wouldn't he?" came the voice of reason from Sasuke's lips.

"We need to report this to Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke. Now." Sakura commanded, becoming determined once again. Sasuke thought little of her mood swing and shook his head.

"We're coming back with the moron or not at all," he concluded, making eye contact with his teammate.

"What? WHY?! We aren't tracker ninja! Kakashi's a JONIN! He can handle it!"

"Weren't you listening?!" Sasuke snapped, "He can't leave Tazuna unguarded! He can't search for the loudmouth right now, but _we_ can!"

Sakura recoiled from Sasuke's hostility. He was right, of course, but he didn't have to be so aggressive in how he went about telling her. She was almost frightened of her adored one's outburst. Did he think she was that useless?

"How are we going to find his trail? This forest is giant, and he could be anywhere within twelve hours of here!"

Sasuke grew thoughtful, his frown retracting marginally. "Were there any other objects left behind?"

Sakura shook her head, and Sasuke stepped past her to the area where Naruto had been less than a day prior. He skimmed his fingers off the grass and traced a line with amazing finess to areas where the grass was slightly more indented than others. Following this pattern, the Uchiha's fingers found the sod underneath and felt for footprints. The ground was covered in loose dirt, he noticed when his fingers left the defined imprint.

Sakura watched in awe as her crush strode over to a clump of soil that hardly seemed out of place and looked at it closely.

"Thick-soled sandals. It's not Naruto's, probably made in the past twelve hours…" Sasuke scratched the back of his neck and peered even closer.

"The toes are facing southeast."

"So, Naruto was taken southeast? Sasuke, you're amazing!"

"I never said that," Sasuke quipped, causing Sakura's spirit to be doused yet again. With the information he had just gathered, Sasuke Uchiha paced through the clearing again and found a matching footprin the would not have been able to find otherwise on the actual grass. In fact, if it weren't for the mud that had undoubtedly been from Haku's marsh-walking shoes, it wouldn't have been decetable at all.

"Sakura, it hasn't rained here either, has it?" he asked, drawing conclusions with typical Uchiha ingenuity. When Sakura answered that no, it had not rained, Sasuke stood up straight and faced her with his findings.

"We need to look in some sort of marshland."

"What?! There's so much of that around here, how are we-,"

"We'll start with the southeast." Sasuke nodded, causing Sakura to become a little annoyed herself.

"But you sai-"

"We'll start there, Sakura. Now let's stop talking and start searching!"

The two shinobi took off in the darkness, careful to stay together in case the phantom they were chasing had stopped to wait for them. There was the possibility of a trap.

* * *

Kakashi waited at the dinner table long after the meal was over. He replaced his mask after eating a few bites, making it considerably easier for Inari's mother to maneuver about the house without having to worry about being dazzled by his exposed visage. It had taken about seven minutes to rescucitate her after she beheld him. No matter how many times that happened, it embarrassed the elite ninja quite a bit.

Minutes passed, and predictably turned into hours. At some point that night, the teacher must have fallen asleep on the table, because that's where he woke up at dawn's early light with a blanket draped over him carefully. He didn't know who to thank for the gesture of hospitality, but he assumed that it was a female's work. No male he knew actually tucked the corners in.

"Where are those three?" he croaked out to Tazuna, who had just made to get a glass of water with breakfast.

"They didn't come back last night, ya know. I woulda' heard." the older man shrugged, looking almost as tired as Kakashi. The former ANBU didn't bother to ask the cause.

"…You don't think anything bad happened, do you?" Tazuna inquired tersely, surprising Kakashi with his concern.

There was a companionable silence between the two men before Kakashi breathed deeply and replied," I don't know."

"Should we look for them?" Inari's mother asked, surprising both of the males with her sudden entry.

Kakashi shook his head. "It could be playing right into Gato's hands…"

"But they're children!" the woman shouted at the masked houseguest, who looked at her with soft eyes.

"I am aware of their ages. They chose this path, madam, and all I can do is wait for them. The life of a ninja is expected to be dangerous. If they're strong enough, they'll survive." Kakashi droned, sounding as disheartened as any responsible adult should be.

Tazuna tensed at these words. There was only one more day before construction at the bridge resumed.

* * *

Author's note: Guys, the wii had nothing to do with the lack of updates. The delay comes in the form of a little sister with a Maple Story addiction. She roams the streets of Windia, a character named Katsimus and her faithful yeti, Winston. She usually wears a mustache. If you play, and happen to get a hold of her, remind her to let me have a bloody turn after two hours! RAWR!

…SPAM HER TO DEATH! D:


	18. Selfless

Disclaimer: Surely you must have something better to read than this blurb stating that I don't own Naruto. Heck, why not skip this paragraph altogether? Are you still reading this? Wow, your attention span is astounding.

* * *

With a calculated movement, a hand swatted a mosquito in the middle of a swamp. The hand in question was then brushed off on a pair of pants that were at one point fluorescently orange. Now, the said trousers were covered in mud, and not too surprisingly, more dead mosquitos.

It had been a while since Naruto had begun his stakeout. He had been at it all night, mentally taking notes on the shift schedule and behaviors of the henchman standing between him and his objective. It was difficult to stay awake, but there was no way in heaven earth that the Uzumaki was going to slip up after waiting so long. Nothing would stop him, he was sure.

Unfortunately for Naruto, fate had other plans.

* * *

Anyone in Gato's employ would admit that the exiled mist ninja he had contracted were a nasty bunch. Zabuza was an arrogant jerk, the Demon Brothers were quiet and spiteful, and Haku was just plain 'creepy'. Of course, the thugs judging the shinobi were greedy and violent sociopaths for the most part, so it could just be assumed that the feeling was mutual. One such thug was not too thrilled that it was his turn to scout the nearby forest for anyone who would oppose them.

Termite, or so he liked to be called, was actually quite resentful that the duty fell to him in the first place. Only one person had ever been caught in the entirety of their patrolling policy. A civilian looking for her pet, nonetheless. So, you could imagine his surprise when he actually _found_ someone in the surrounding lands. Two kids, a guy and a girl.

As a general rule, a thug would have just jumped and attacked them on the spot. Misfortune would have it that Termite was a competent individual with amazing eyesight. He understood the importance of a leaf symbol. He also understood the importance of not being trounced by someone bearing such a symbol. Armed with the knowledge that he did not want to be out of a job or beaten to a pulp, Termite did the only thing he could think of. He got the hell out of the way of the two and reported their presence to Gato before they had the chance to even sense his presence.

Gato was in no way happy to be woke up in the middle of the night, much less to learn that there were intruders in his forest. The high-roller didn't hesitate to send out a rather large team to apprehend the two trespassers. Therefore, about twenty-three armed men left the bungalow before the sun rose completely, instructed to bring them back alive but the worse for wear.

* * *

Naruto was startled by the sudden number of guards sent out on patrol, and for an alarming hour or two, he feared he had been detected and took the necessary precautions against their attack. Time passed, and the onslaught never came, which confused the Uzumaki immensely. If they hadn't been leaving to catch him, then what HAD they left for? It wasn't the day that Zabuza attacked the bridge yet, was it? And, even if it were, didn't the ninja leave first? He was sure he would have at least gotten a glimpse of Zabuza if the man had already departed.

All Naruto could do was wait, and wait he did. It was nearly noon before the group emerged from the foliage. About nine of them were injured to the point of unconsciousness, he noted with a grin, and three of them hadn't come. The smile quickly faded into disgust when he realized that the thugs were dragging two masses through the muck, one of which was writhing and obviously still conscious. Gato was twisted, taking civilians and just beating them like that. What had those two done? Who were they?

Curious, Naruto closed in silently until his eyes could focus on the captives. It took only a few nanoseconds to identify them, but to actually process the information took about five seconds, and ended with him seeing in red.

Sasuke was unconscious, and Sakura was bound and blindfolded.

The two had been taken down by mere bandits, and they would now be at the nonexistent mercy of a crime lord. Why? Well, given the circumstances under which Naruto had left the safety of Kakashi's wing, Naruto could only assume that they were searching for him. Searching for the loud-mouthed, ever-troublesome dobe.

All Naruto's rational thought centers shut down with the guilt and rage, and without even realizing it, he had duplicated himself five times over and let out a battle cry that would have made infamously dramatic Gai proud. Without any thought of the consequences, Naruto ploughed through the ranks of the henchmen, punching and hacking at them with kunai.

Their screams of surprise and agony could be heard from the nearby bungalow, alerting even Haku and a newly-awakened Zabuza to the third intruder's presence.

* * *

Sakura had been struggling very hard against her captors, vicious and shamed. If it hadn't been for her long hair, everything would have been fine. How did she not see the folly her locks could bring? Sasuke and she hadn't had any problem trouncing their attackers until one had grabbed those damned pink strands and pulled her into an armlock with a knife to the neck.

With her as a hostage, Sasuke was rendered effectively ineffectual. He didn't dare take the captor out, because the moment he did, another with less patience would take the kunoichi and…

Sakura's thoughts were interrupted with the sudden cry from her missing teammate, a cry that sounded like a strange animal. One moment she was being dragged by her enemies, and the next they were struggling to get as far away from her as possible. She was at once very bewildered and afraid, and with the ropes at her feet unmanned, she attempted to shake them off.

Suddenly, a muddy set of hands grabbed her bound hands through the chaos. She found herself screaming with the henchmen before she realized the ropes had been cut. With those gone, it was only a mater of seconds before the bonds on her feet, too were removed. Finally, the grubby hands yanked the cloth from her eyes, exposing her eyes to harsh sunlight.

She winced at the sudden illumination before focusing on her mysterious savior.

"Sakura." he breathed, the battle behind him ending in victory,"-can you stand?"

This voice she knew, and before she even said anything, her fist flew at his face.

Naruto caught it with wide, concerned eyes. Sakura had never seen him look so scared. She opened her mouth to speak, but he put a finger to her lips and stared at her in a way that gave her chills from the intensity.

"Get Sasuke and run," he instructed, shooting a glance over his shoulder. She stared at him blankly, so he shook her.

"**Now**!" he commanded, shoving her backwards and flying at the bungalow from which Haku was exiting in full gear.

"What about you?!" she finally gasped out, grabbing the unconscious Uchiha.

"I'll be fine! Now, go!" he growled, prompting Sakura's feet into speeding back in the direction from which she came with Sasuke in tow. Haku made to block her escape, but Naruto bowled the masked boy over. She didn't look back.

* * *

Author's note: Whee! See what I did instead of my homework? Aren't you proud of me? …Maple addict Katsimus sister scolded me. I hope you're happy.


	19. Divine Intervention

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine, and neither are his friends and enemies. If they were, you would know.

* * *

Haku's mind was racing. Though Zabuza was awake, the older ninja wouldn't be able to move freely for another six hours or so. With an impending attack from Konoha ninja, the ever-loyal ward had armed himself to the teeth with senbon. When he heard the screams, he had raced out into the fray.

What he saw defied anything he would have expected. Gato's men were scattered about, moaning and bleeding from severe injuries, and the genin he had gone out of his way to help just the day before kneeled in the center of it, speaking with the pink-haired female from their team while another shinobi lay unconscious in the muck.

The third member of the Konoha squad was spread across the girl's back before Haku could close in fully. The mist ninja was scared, admittedly. While the enemies he faced were children, if they escaped, then the dreaded Kakashiwould undoubtedly come to their aid. With Zabuza in the state he was in, Haku could not allow such a thing to happen. So, with a heavy heart, he made to break off the escape of the kunoichi with a flurry of needles.

The blonde ninja hadn't moved anything other than his head and mouth in Haku's direction until that point, but with the pink-haired girl in danger, he swiftly leapt to deflect the projectiles with a single knife before tackling the unsuspecting black-haired boy.

Haku, despite his mask, couldn't help but see Naruto's eyes through his mask. He wouldn't have been surprised to see anger, terror, or even hatred, but the affection caught him off-guard. Through the frantic wrestle for control in the mud that followed the Uzumaki's leap, Haku couldn't shake a feeling of unease from his body. He could, however, shake Naruto's body off and step back to start a few attacks of his own.

Naruto's cobalt eyes widened as Haku drew back from him. Needles flew from pale hands with deadly speed, forcing him to evade in a series of fluid motions. Several of them hacked away at his clothes and grazed his arms and legs. The damage was minimal, however, and a few seconds marked the end of Haku's barrage.

Noticing that his attacks had little effect, Zabuza's loyal companion formed a handsign that caused his opponent to stop clear in his tracks. In a matter of moments, Haku's Kekkai Genkai would envelope the genin's body and leave him to the mist shinobi's mercy.

Naruto Uzumaki wouldn't have it. Before the ice even had time to form completely, the jinchuuriki shouted something that effectively broke his adversary's concentration.

"I don't want to fight you!"

Haku's semi-formed mirrors shattered, but he soon began to form new ones, disturbed but not convinced of the blonde's words.

"Then why would you follow me here? Was it not your intention to kill Zabuza while he was still helpless, little ninja?" came the soft reply from behind the mask.

The orange-clad boy shook his head at this, his hands trembling as the mirrors began to block out his view of the sky.

"I fight for someone precious. Do you fight me for that girl? That boy? The builder?" Haku continued his inquiry, moving his image from one mirror to the next to avoid being hit. It wasn't necessary. Naruto hadn't moved to attack since the questioning had begun.

Made curious by Naruto's lack of response, Haku grabbed a new pile of his needles and asked, very quietly,"-what is it that you would fight me for, right now?"

Naruto stared at the masked boy now hovering above him, obviously at war with whatever words he was going to say. Both of them were tense, almost sure that the other would attack in the stillness that followed. After what seemed an age(and was, perhaps, to a microscopic organism), Naruto's mind had finally bee made up.

"I am fighting you for _you._" he finally declared, causing the form above him to shift uneasily. After a brief interlude, Naruto pitched his verbal curveball with one single word, "Haku."

Seven senbon fell into the mud next to Naruto's feet. Naruto blinked, and Haku was once again the mirrors, hidden from plain sight by many a reflection.

"Why do you know my name?" one mirror demanded firmly.

"How have you been watching me?" another fearfully whispered. The reflections continued to ask things of a similar nature until there was a cacophony of voices, all the same. The started closing in on him from the mirrors, like a writhing green mass. _Why? How? When?_

Naruto backed up from the mass of Haku, only to hit another mirror that grabbed him painfully in the center. Hands soon clutched him all over, to the point that moving could kill.

"You will tell me, little ninja." the voice was singular, now, coming from behind. Naruto kept as calm a face as possible, masking any terror that may have begun to rise inside of him. He would tell Haku the truth.

"I know, because I-," Naruto's mouth suddenly shut. The hands gripping him clenched painfully, but he couldn't seem to open the damned thing that was quite grateful to do so on other occasions. Inside the recesses of his mind, the venomous laughter that the Uzumaki now recognized as his demonic tenant echoed. Needless to say, the boy was outraged.

Naruto's body writhed with the passionate effort to speak, causing the hands restraining him to break his skin, drawing blood. The more he tried to move his lips, the more intense his thrashing became. Soon, he could feel his bones breaking in the fingered restraints. Resisting the invisible force that kept him from talking soon caused a movement so drastic that he felt his neck snap.

The agony shot through him like nail-encrusted bullets for a few seconds before going numb. Distantly, he felt the hands surrounding his face and head draw back, gently lowering him back into the muddy ground. Naruto was confused, and quite predictably, angry. These emotions wouldn't hold on after about four minutes of torture, however. The world grew dark around him, and the freefall began.

* * *

If Naruto had the choice between standing naked before a demon and not standing naked before a demon, he would probably have bee weirded out by the fact anyone had asked at all. It certainly wasn't something he aspired to, but for the moment, he needed answers. After all, he could only remember his emotion and identity right then through sheer strength of will.

"Kyuubi!" he shouted at the eyes behind the bars, shoving his mortal terror of the beast aside.

"What the hell is going on? How am I here? Why couldn't I say anything?!"

Behind the bars, the mass of demonic energy grinned at his boisterous host. The effect was instantaneous, and all color that may have been on Naruto's subconscious face flew away.

"**A lesser god would know to find out for himself."** the beast drawled before breathing out through the bars.

Naruto woke up out of a daze behind a rock in front of Gato's bungalow, very agitated and confused. The respawn had left him without any closure, and though he soon forgot nearly everything, Kyuubi's words remained.

"**A lesser god would know to find out for himself."**

* * *

Author's note: Hate respawns? I kinda do, but t was needed to play the point out.


	20. Nice Beard

Disclaimer: I don't possess Naruto, which is probably good as there are probably few exorcists in Konoha.

* * *

For Naruto, going through a day he had already lived through was a pain. Once again, he had no choice but to watch events as they unfolded. He dared not leave to find Sasuke and Sakura, though there was no doubt in his mind that they were out there searching for him.

There was always the option of charging into the bungalow, announcing his presence and getting ganged up on, but the blonde decided that was a bad idea very early on. Thankfully, the pariah was more resourceful than that. There was a way for him to communicate with his teammates without sounding an alarm. After some strict observations, the Uzumaki found it.

* * *

Yoriiji was a bit of a character among the ranks of Gato's men. The black-goateed man was about twenty years of age, and had scars all over his hands. None of his coworkers ever really thought to ask about those, however. The real distinguishing characteristic of the young man was his small bladder. It was almost unthinkable that someone as capable and brutishly strong as Yoriiji would have such an issue, but anyone who shared a shift or duty with him would come to realize that the man would leave almost every other hour to 'drain the main vein'. As a result, no one thought it odd when the vest-wearing thug in question wandered away from his post in front of the bungalow into the swamps to do away with his inner burden.

In the pre-dawn darkness, Yoriiji spotted a suitable bush and headed for it. He hadn't expected the blow to the side of his head. He didn't even have time to realize he was hit before he was out for the count, and his attacker had to grin to himself, blue eyes sparkling. A handsign was executed, and Naruto became Yoriiji down to every last visible scar.

_Damn, I'm good. _

Withing a matter of seconds, the real Yoriiji was stashed behind a tree and restrained as a precaution against waking up ahead of schedule. After the cords were secure, Naruto wandered back to his victim's post. No one was the wiser. Several of the men even joked with him, earning a very Yoriiji-like glare from the shinobi in disguise.

The sun came up during the next two hours, and before the sky lost its' ethereal glow, an order was issued among the ranks that caused the inner Naruto to kick all gloating aside. It was _the_ order. The 'capture Sakura and Sasuke' order. 'Yoriiji' grimaced. The next part of the plan wasn't going to be easy.

Within minutes, the small army of lowlifes were on the march into the forest, muttering amongst themselves and looking in all directions. Naruto remained impassive in his disguise. Thankfully, that was how Yoriiji generally acted anyway.

The troupe marched. Time passed, and Naruto pretended to have to go to the bathroom. There was no suspicion against him, and in the thirty second time-slot that allowed him, he searched for his teammates himself. He was unsuccessful, though, and returned to the troupe as a relieved-looking Yoriiji. Once again, jokes were made. Again, for the sake of staying in the character he was supposed to be, Naruto glared.

The walk continued for another good twenty minutes before one of the thugs keeled over inexplicably. Naruto surpressed his exitement and realized the cause was a kunai he knew very well. His friends had arrived, and wthin fractions of a second, Gato's men were in an uproar.

* * *

Sasuke chose his targets carefully from his perch in a nearby tree. He only had a few weapons left, but every projectile remaining went to good use. Five men went down with little difficulty while the group ran about in confusion. With a smirk, Sasuke chose his last target and tossed the weapon at a goateed figure. The knife whizzed through the air, but there was no satisfying sound of it sinking into flesh. There was no scream of agony from the man. Sasuke nearly fell out of the tree when he realized the vested thug had actually caught it, and was examining the object carefully in the middle of the battlefield with an unsettling smirk.

An iron chain thrown against the tree indicated that the Uchiha had been found out, and the prodigy had no choice but to drop down and fight in close quarters. It would have been tremendously easier if it weren't for what happened next.

Sakura screamed and kicked against her captor. Truth be told, she had just landed a few punches before her pink mane had been grasped from behind. Smelly, burly arms quickly stifled her and locked around her neck, one hand pressing a sharp object to her neck.

"One more move, and I slit her pretty little throat!"

Sasuke's head turned around so fast it looked like it would swivel off. Upon seeing Sakura in danger, his eyes widened. His hands dropped to his sides. The men he had been fighting quickly closed in on him, and had only time for two punches before something rather noticeable happened to the man holding Sakura. Namely, he fell over with Sasuke's last kunai in his neck.

Gato's men were distracted from their prey yet again, and their eyes fell on the traitor, Yoriiji. Sasuke realized that he was free, and got himself to a more tactful position before he realized that a shocked Sakura hadn't moved. Her eyes were on Yoriiji, and he walked over to her with a look on his face that the Uchiha didn't like.

"You son of a bitch, Yoriiji!" the shouting began.

"What the hell?!" Termite yelled somewhere in the mess. The traitor was their new target, and the thugs immediately charged the man who took out one of his own comrades. Yoriiji didn't even bat them an eye as he approached the kunoichi who regarded him with fascination.

"Look out!" Sakura suddenly shouted, and 'Yoriiji's' eyes widened before a bladed object sliced through his neck. Sakura would have screamed if she didn't notice the rippling. The man who had been standing before her vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving no trace of a human in that place.

Both the two Konoha ninja and Gato's men were apprehensive of the man now. A few from the crime-lord's posse started to bolt, but Sasuke flew at them and thrashed them properly.

"Where are you?!" the Uchiha demanded at the trees and rocks around him, searching for the man who had concealed himself.

The remaining thugs began to shout and scream, and Sasuke turned around to see them twitching on the sod. Sakura backed up against a tree to protect herself against the deadly ninja they had run into before 'Yoriiji' stepped out from behind it.

Sasuke flew at the stranger, but he sidestepped it easily, chuckling.

"Come on, Princess. You can do better than that, can't you?" came the juvenile voice of Naruto from a body twice his size. Sasuke's jaw dropped, and Sakura's joined it.

"Naruto?!" they demanded at once, shifting between relief and murderous intent. Sakura had to grab Sasuke so he couldn't attempt to attack again.

"The one and only!" Naruto grinned, removing the henge and standing before his friends in all his orange glory. "Sorry I didn't leave a note!"

If looks could kill, Naruto would have been dead twice over in the next five seconds.

"What the heck are you doing, you idiot? Do you know how WORRIED we've been?" Sakura demanded, causing the Uzumaki's expression to lose some of its mania.

"Probably, most likely. It wasn't like I did it on purpose, you know. I just.. I just ran into one of Gato's men, you see, and I thought I should investigate."

Sasuke growled at this. "You couldn't have left a message? A well-concealed note?"

"Not really. What if someone else found it?"

"Who would find it?!" Sakura demanded, hands on her hips.

"Any other ninja that might be in Gato's employ!" Naruto retorted, crossing his arms.

"Those chances were slim to none, Dobe, and you know it," Sasuke condescended, a dangerous aura emitting from his form.

"Well, if I told you the person that I trailed was in fact the masked boy with Zabuza, would you change your mind about that?" Sasuke stopped emitting anger, and all negative emotions that were directed at the demon-boy were dissolved.

_That go their attention._

"He liked to retrace his steps a lot, you know. Paranoia of being followed?"

Sakura lifted her hand to the forehead she hated so much and let it rest there.

"You mean, you put yourself in that much danger just to retrieve information?" she asked, drained.

Naruto regarded her seriously. "Yes, and I've found out a lot. I just need a little longer at the hideout, and-"

Sasuke's hand locked on Naruto's arm like a vice, and Sakura regained some of her irritation.

"You're coming back with us, dobe. Kakashi needs you at the bridge." Sasuke commanded, his voice steady and harsh.

In the blink of an eye, Naruto grabbed his teammate's wrist and threw him into a bush.

"No," he insisted, looking from Sakura to Sasuke with determination. "I need to do this. It might save more than a few lives."

"What is so important that you'd turn us away empty-handed?!" Sakura practically shrieked in his ears.

"Gato is going to betray Zabuza. I just have to prove it." Naruto explained, playing with the tassles on his jacket.

"-and you're just going to show the proof to Zabuza and expect him to back down? Are you crazy?!" Sasuke inquired, his face contorting in confusion.

"That's pretty much the size of it. Wither that, or I whack Gato," Naruto nodded. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some reconnaissance to d-"

"No way in hell, Dobe. You've lost it." Sasuke stated seriously. Sakura gave a sound of agreement.

Naruto's face darkened, and he grew quiet. "Twelve hours, guys. Give me twelve hours. I'll stop Gato's plot one way or the other. You have my word."

Sakura stared her teammate down. In a flash, she moved to slug him, only to have Naruto shoot off into the distance with amazing agility. She made to chase him down, but Sasuke's arm shot out into her path.

"If we retrieve him as he is, he may be more dangerous than the enemy. We'll report back to Kakashi, and if he doesn't return in twelve hours, we'll know he's a lost cause." the apathy in his voice was astounding.

Sakura bit her lips. She really hoped that Naruto knew what he was doing. If he died, she didn't know what she'd do. Once again, he had saved her life.

* * *

Author's note: Katsimus is as amazed as you are at the amount of words in this chapter. Hopefully, certain reviewers won't feed me to a starving minority, or come after me with robots. Enjoooy!


	21. Checkers, anyone?

Disclaimer: I have made plenty of these, you know. You should have gotten the idea by now.

* * *

Kakashi was standing by the door when the panting duo of Sasuke and Sakura arrived. He had been waiting for a very long time, but held no expectations for their mission. Not knowing the situation, if anything, he didn't even know if they _would_ return. Still, there they were.

The Hatake put his hand to his chin while he took them in. The two students were a little roughed up and dirty, but not too much worse for the wear. The thing that disturbed the teacher wasn't what he saw, then. It what he didn't see.

"Where's Naruto?" he asked grimly, using his visible eye to peer at his remaining students with a vague expression of displeasure under which Sasuke's monumental confidence began to quiver. The lack of reply last for a short span of time, so Kakashi asked again, but this time with more force.

"Where is Naruto?"

Sakura trembled, now, unsure of how to put all that had happened. She was eloquent enough, but placating an adult in a position of power was something she had never attempted outside of a schoolhouse setting. Many things had changed since then, including the intensity of her instructors. The sensei standing before her now was a killer and a genius.

"He's still out there." she said simply, causing Kakashi to groan audibly.

"I am aware that he is still out there, Sakura. What I am asking for is more of a specific location or state of being… You don't expect me to believe he's having a tea party, do you?" the man deadpanned, straightening his body from the slouch it had been occupying. In a flash, the jonin turned to Sasuke.

"Well…?" he asked again, finding a sparkle of recognition in the Uchiha's eyes.

"He followed the masked kid into the forest." the young ninja responded monotonously, "-he then found Gato's hideout and infiltrated it under the guise of a common lowlife."

At this point in the explanation, Kakashi's fingers were drumming on his kunai. "You know this because you ran into him?"

"Y-yes." Sakura nodded.

"Under what circumstances?" the teacher pressed, noting the shame when he saw it on Sakura's face.

"Bad ones." Sasuke saved her the trouble of explaining. To Sakura's surprise, this was enough for the teacher, and he prodded it no further. He did, however, start to pace.

"Did he pass along any information to you, then?" came the continued inquisition after a brief pause.

Sasuke and Sakura looked to one another apprehensively before Sakura spoke again.

"He said that Gato intends to turn on Zabuza."

Kakashi stopped dead in his tracks. "…What?"

Though the genin could only see his back, they could tell this new little anecdote caught him off-guard. The teacher pulled his hands out of his pockets and regarded his students eyelessly(if there really was such a thing) from the side. The pose in itself would probably intimidate most people.

"Can he prove it?" the gray-haired sensei asked tersely. The cogs in his mind were working overtime, and they weren't slackers to begin with. If Naruto could really get a hold of such information, then the assassination attempt would be terminated. It was a bold move, really, and something he shouldn't have attempted alone. If and when Naruto returned, Kakashi was probably going to need to have a nice long chat with the boy.

"No, he can't prove it! That's why he's still out there. He said all he needed was twelve hours. I… I think he intends to present the evidence to Zabuza himself." Sakura spoke as calmly as possible, though the concern could hardly be masked by her tone. Despite her own best efforts, her voice shook.

Kakashi's body stiffened, and his visible eye immediately traveled to his female pupil. Even with the incredible level of tension building in his body, however, he kept the glance passive after a brief flash of intensity.

"How long ago did this happen?" Kakashi now asked cooly.

"About two hours ago." Sasuke deduced from the shadows of the trees.

"Then we wait ten more." he ordered, easing his body into a relaxed posture again..

Sakura clenched her fists, biting her objections down before they flew from her lips. A jonin's order was a jonin's order. She didn't know where Naruto was now, so she didn't have much of an alternative, either.

"What are we supposed to do for ten hours?" she asked with a false sweetness.

Kakashi looked around for a moment and sat down where he was , asking if anyone wanted to play checkers.

Sakura took an extreme position of 'not amused'.

* * *

Henging himself into Yoriiji once again, Naruto approached the hideout to be stopped by one of the sentries who had relieved him. The man was scrawny, but Naruto could see some vague outlines through the delinquent's clothing. The amount of weaponry was probably enough to arm an entire ninja squadron.

"What the heck, Urinator?! Aren't you supposed to be looking for the intruders with everyone else?" the unkempt guard demanded, irked beyond all reason. "Did you piss on one of them or something?!"

"I need to see Gato immediately." Naruto replied, keeping his voice as deep as he had heard it come from Yoriiji. The sentry in question didn't look like he was about to budge, however, so 'Yoriiji' shoved him out of the way, not surprised to feel metal edges on contact.

"It's about the intruders, asshole!" he shouted in his defense before walking into the building to realize something very important; he didn't know what area Gato or his files were kept. It wouldn't go over very well, he imagined, to walk up to one of the boarish man and casually ask where the top-secret documents were kept. The mercenaries weren't very bright, but he didn't think very many were so stupid as that.

_I probably should have thought this through a little better,_ he chided himself,_ but what's done is done. The building isn't too impossibly large, anyway. Maybe if I just turn here… There we go._

A pair of eyes regarded him from a sofa, the owner of said peepers grimacing behind his bandaged face. Zabuza Momochi was not to be disturbed. It had been a rule enforced over the last few days quite diligently. No one that wasn't Haku had dared wander into his quarters without Gato until now.

"You shouldn't be here." the Momochi growled, narrowing his eyes at the uninvited houseguest. Though the ANBU was bedridden, his killer gaze had no less effect. "What do you want?"

The henged Naruto gaped like a landed fish before the recuperating death-dealer, fighting the urge to run like a hunted animal on crack.

Before he could make up any sort of answer, however, a new figure entered the room.

"Master Zabuza, should I dispose of him?"

_Oh, shit. Wrong room._

* * *

A/N: It's my birthday today! It's my birthday and I can't write anymore right now. My feet are asleep.


	22. Two Week Notice

Disclaimer: I'm over here! :D

* * *

The atmosphere surrounding Naruto grew twenty degrees colder. Trembling ever-so-slightly, the disguised shinobi youth turned around to face the person who had undoubtedly entered behind him. Surely enough, Zabuza's loyal servant greeted his worried glance.

"Shall I dispose of him, Master Zabuza?" Haku's liltingly gentile voice asked again, his mask covering his face entirely. There was a hint of suspicion that the question held, but Zabuza didn't seem at all perturbed beyond his normal level.

The Momochi sat up slowly, watched by Haku for every centimeter of the movement. His powerful arms pushed up against the gray blanket he had been using as a pillow to look at Naruto's henge more fully. "Well?" he asked, leaving his sentence hanging gruffly.

Naruto put a hand to his forehead, not entirely sure of what to say at this point. Yet again, he fought the urge to bolt. For his defense, he did have the fact that Gato's men were idiots. On the other hand, the ninja occupying the room with him were anything but inept. Both sets of eyes bore into him, he could feel Haku's optical intensity despite the mask hiding them from view.

"I…" Naruto stammered in the bandit's voice, "I'm sorry I disturbed you, sirs… I was just looking for Gato, and he doesn't seem to be in the normal places. I though he might be in here." Sweat trickled down Naruto's face as he waited for the verdict from Zabuza's covered lips.

"Well, he's not." Zabuza pointed out hoarsely before glaring. "Get the hell out of my room, and tell your master to leave a note."

"..Yes, yes sir." Yoriiji's voice replied with uncertainty. Before Haku had the chance to remove him by force, Naruto had left the room. The masked boy stared into the hallway before turning to Zabuza, who nodded.

"Follow him."

* * *

Naruto breathed in deeply. He was sure that he was going to die moments prior, and be condemned to relive the day yet again. He hoped that whatever force had just spared him would keep it up until his next sleep cycle, because he wasn't too keen on failing just yet. Failing wasn't something he was keen on as a general rule, anyway.

Naruto's euphoria of relief didn't last very long. The truth was that he was no closer to finding Gato and his documents than he had been before the tense run-in with his enemies. Thankfully, a real messenger passed him an instant later, and Naruto, having run out of brilliant ideas, followed him.

The messenger was a stout middle-aged guy with very little hair on his head. Beyond that, Naruto couldn't really make any observations. The next two minutes were spent with his eyes trained on the bad comb-over the mercenary sported.

It didn't seem soon enough when the man ahead of him finally stopped to open a door. With a deliberate shove, 'Yoriiji' muscled past the guy to enter a rather dark room. Granted, every room in the bungalow had been dark, utthis one seemed even less illuminated. Whether it was the lack of natural light or the presence of Gato himself, Naruto couldn't be sure. He just knew that he really wished he were someone else the moment he stepped foot into the closed space.

"I thought I sent you with the interception force." came a greasy voice from the very back of the chamber, sitting in a chair that vaguely reminded Naruto of a throne. That was, of course, if there hadn't been a desk in front of it. No king in his right mind would put a desk in front of his symbol of power. Gato was no monarch-he was a lude businessman.

Gato was not alone. Several forbidding men flanked him on either side. They ranged in height, but all of them had a combined odor that wafted throughout the room. _Perhaps that was where the darkness came from_, Naruto thought wryly.

"Why did you come back? Are you just going to stand there?" Gato pressed from behind his sunglasses, which were hardly necessary in a room so shadowed. It crossed Naruto's mind to wonder how the villainous man could see at all. Instead of pondering the vexing question, Naruto cleared his throat to do exactly as he had planned.

"Sir, we have found the intruders!" he barked, causing Gato's eyebrows to lift.

"Good, then. Why are you alone? Who are they?"

"Sir, there's a problem…" he tried to sound as insecure as a lackey would, and judging by the reactions of both Gato and the men in his posse, he pulled it off nicely. In a flash, the minor smile formed on Gato's face was replaced by an expression of frustration.

"What kind of problem?" the high roller asked dangerously, voice beginning to hiss.

Naruto cleared his throat again to report nervously, "Well, sir, the intruders are ninja… and they seem to have gotten away. We've suffered heavy casualties."

"Peh, to believe I pay you lot so much." Gato scoffed coldly. "I suppose you're going to ask for backup?"

"H-hai." Naruto nodded under his visad, only to have Gato slam his hand on thedesk before him, scattering papers to the warped wooden floorboards. He couldn't help but look over a few of them, but in te dark with the small text, he could make out nothing but useless lumps against a white blue.

"Fine, then. Have your backup. Take ten more men." Naruto felt his heart sink a little, he had been hoping he could get Gato to part with more than ten, which the rich scumbag had already picked and poined at the exit.

"…Ten, sir? We could barely contain them with more than a dozen!" he shouted, unsurprised to see Gato smirk at him.

"It's a good thing I didn't pay them in advance, then."

In the seconds that followed, Naruto found himself twitching ever so slightly. When he was younger, there would have been no way he would have allowed the old man to get away with treating his own men like that. Even though the men were criminals, they were human, weren't they? Sure, he should have been grateful that there were less of them, but he began to wonder if he could rile the other mercenaries into a rebellion if nothing else worked.

"Leave, Yoriiji." Gato boomed, pointing at the doorway, which was now occupied by the messenger he had shoved earlier. The balding man was just as homely in the front as he had been from behind, so Naruto couldn't tell if he was being given the evil eye or if the guy's face was naturally set in the expression. Whether it was the ugly mug boring into his face or Gato's words, Naruto whipped around and ran towards the desk.

Haku had watched Gato deal with his own men in the past, but never in this particular predicament. Gato's men didn't often lose. Their numbers were high and their opponents were weak civilians. Watching the mercenaries be defeated and abandoned by Gato himself brought to life expectatios he already had. Haku hadn't predicted any mercy from the man in the black suit. Then again, he hadn't predicted Yoriiji's response, either.

"You bastard." the man who was now bent over Gato's papers growled. Gato grinned, excited to see such gusto. With a single slate of the hand, his bodyguards had their various utensils of destruction pointed at the traitor's neck.

"You would leave us to die like you would kill the Demon of the Mist when his task his complete? Is that how you reward us? WE AREN'T ANIMALS!" he snarled, drawing back his upper lips.

From the shadows, Haku stopped breathing. That caught his attention quite well.

"Really?" Gato asked, cocking his head to the side. "Then what are you? No one else wants you. You kill, you take, you ravage and destroy without any second thoughts. You show no mercy to your targets, so why should I show mercy to you, who are without honor?"

"At least we finish what we start, you selfish brat! We do our own dirty work!" Yoriiji screamed again, getting spittle on his former boss's face.

Gato grimaced and snapped his fingers. He'd had enough of this rebels antics. He waited for the weapons of his guards to penetrate his prisoner. When they didn't come on command, Gato made a strange sound and looked up to find why the hell they hadn't.

Haku's ice mirrors surrounded the entire group, and out of the various mirrors the hands grasped and pinned Gato's right-hand men in various ways. There were some loud cracks that followed as the men in question were debilitated or killed, but Yoriiji's body was left without harm or restraint. The evil taskmaster looked on in horror as the tables were turned with vicious efficiency.

"The joke's on you, Gato." Yoriiji's lips curled into a grin, which slowly became smaller and far more mischievous, along with the body accompanying it. Naruto was himself again, and the blonde couldn't help but quip, "I'm not fired, I quit."

* * *

Author's note: I am happy at how this turned out, I think. I hope you were, too.

* * *


	23. Desk Intimacy

Disclaimer: See last 20 chapters.

* * *

Kakashi was getting fidgety, subtle as his state was. A twiddle here, a false cough there, and a few lost matches of checkers against Sasuke gave that away. Sasuke was amazed he had won to begin with, tense as he was. It wasn't that he cared, he assured himself. For him to become attached to anything was foolishness. Still, thoughts of a thousand horrible fates for his rival flashed through his head. They had been amusing at first; tripping and dropping a henge, being crushed by stacks of paper in Gato's offices, etc. Soon enough, however, they took a darker turn, and the blood flooded out any comfort or balance the Uchiha was used to in his mind.

"Your move, Sasuke." Kakashi broke into his thought patterns yet again with an insanely passive tone. It had seemed to have become even flatter in the past few hours, if that was possible. Sasuke could play at that game. Without thinking at all, the black-haired boy pushed a black piece diagonally to the left.

"Done," the Uchiha announced in a voice that put his teacher's forced monotony to shame.

Kakashi nodded and looked down at the board with an experienced eye.

"You have repeated the same sequence of movements with that piece for eight turns now."

Sasuke smirked, he really couldn't help it. The irony was at hand.

"Yeah, I'm copying your strategy, Sensei."

"Touché."

Back in Konoha, Iruka was filled with an inexplicable irritation at the absent Hatake.

* * *

Sakura watched her comrades play their board game for the first five minutes before leaving. On inquiry as to where she was going, she had replied with a very fake smile and excuse. They probably figured that out the moment she said it. If they hadn't, they'd had plenty of time. Girls generally didn't take two hour baths in cold water.

Truth be told, she had bathed for about three minutes before backing out with the sheer frigidity of the water at hand. The day was beautiful, she had reminded herself when she looked out of the window. The day was beautiful and it couldn't last forever. Eventually things would reach a resolution. It was all she could do, she forced herself to realize, to wait.

Sakura was not a patient girl. She wasn't completely rash, of course, but she didn't have the gentle ability to let things come to her. Like her crush on Sasuke, she often had an inherent need to fight for what she wanted. Despite her frustration at Naruto's disappearance and the situation they were all in, the thing that made her the angriest was the fact she didn't know what she wanted at all. For all the past years, it had always been Sasuke, but now…

All things considered, the slipping she did on the bathroom floor at that point was well-deserved. Karma found it fascinating.

* * *

Naruto was very quickly united with Haku's senbon to his neck after revealing his true form. His face fell faster than a suicidal woman off a cliff face, but he wasn't afraid anymore. The jinchuuriki was reasonably certain that his life hadn't been severed. Haku's wrath was much gentler than Zabuza's. It wasn't too incredibly incomprehensible that the mist ninja didn't trust him. Had they been in opposite positions, Naruto wouldn't have trusted himself, either. It wasn't easy to put faith in a stranger smiling wickedly.

The demon-container's hands whipped around to yank the needles out of his throat, Kyuubi's chakra filling them in at a steady rate. Haku didn't understand the deal with his new opponent, but while keeping Gato in place, he aimed at the boy yet again.

When the needles flew, Naruto did a spin, allowing them to fall into the desk, where they split or embedded themselves into the polished wood. Any papers remaining on the man's desk were impaled, leaving the man owning them fearing the same fate. Naruto looked into Haku's mask and threw up his hands in a surrender. Unconvinced, Haku nailed him in the neck again, this time keeping the boy down.

"Now, now, boy… let's be reasonable…" Gato stammered. Whether the words were directed to Haku or Naruto was up in the air, but the Uzumaki figured Haku was the more likely recipient, as he held the position of power. That, and Naruto was blacking out. He fought the dulling of his senses despite this.

"Reasonable?" Haku echoed from mirrors in all directions, bemused. "You didn't deny the claim."

"I never acknowledged it, either!" the corrupt businessman retorted, protecting his still-functioning arm. Gato's entire form was trembling, but Zabuza's underling shook his head and tightened his grip on the old man, who resorted to whimpering. His empire would soon fall into ruin.

"There's always been something I didn't like about you, sir." Haku seethed from behind his mask. His dulcet tones were still intoxicatingly gentle as he made a motion. "I'm just happy to know it wasn't unfounded. I will protect Master Zabuza with my life."

Naruto found just enough energy to allow his eyes to widen from his uncomfortable position of the desk. The gentle Haku dispatched Gato ruthlessly before him.

Gato's scream resounded throughout the bungalow like an alarm, causing the remaining men in the building to either investigate the source or to run like a bat out of hell(which bats apparently dislike).

Those who had chosen the path of running into Gato's meeting chamber were swiftly rendered unconscious by blows to the back of the head or needles to pressure points.

Though Haku may have killed Gato in cold blood, he did not want theirs on his hands. He did not know why the miserly old man's employees fought, and didn't wish to chance killing an innocent. With the exception of Gato, all of the men strewn about the ground were either unconscious or simply debilitated. On a similar note, Haku couldn't help but feel conflicted once the area quieted down. Naruto's bright blue eyes had long since rolled into the back of his head, and the boy's blood dripped ever so quietly against the wood the shinobi's catatonic form rested on.

Haku strode over to the Leaf Village's pariah, footsteps gentle and careful to avoid stepping on anyone. White mask still covering his countenance, Haku watched as the boy struggled to breathe.

"…I'm sorry…" Haku whispered gently in the blonde boy's ears as he painfully gasped for the next breath until he could no longer. Within a half a minute, a last rasping exhale exited Naruto's parted lips, and no new air was ushered into his lungs. Upon seeing this, Haku removed his mask.

There was no one to hide from anymore. Explaining things to Zabuza would be a difficult task, but he had faith the former ANBU would understand his actions. That being said, Haku picked up Naruto's lifeless body bridal style and moved through the now-quiet hideout.

* * *

The sky outside was colorful with evening, but the beauty of twilight failed to reach Sakura as she waited outside the door of Tazuna's abode. Time was almost up, and she wanted nothing more than to see a familiar streak of orange in the distance. At several points during the sunset, something moved in the distance, lifting her spirits only to crush them when they were revealed to belong to a squirrel, or something similar.

Time passed, and Sakura passed on dinner for reasons that didn't revolve around her vanity, for once. The sky slowly lost its brilliant pinks and purples, exchanging it for shades of deeper blue until there was nothing but an inky dark that penetrated deeply into more than the atmosphere.

She began to get drowsy, but refused to go inside as the stars came out. She would have given anything not to notice the slider door open behind her.

"Sakura, come inside and go to sleep." Kakashi said quietly, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

"No, I want to be here to…" she muttered groggily, batting his hand off in a futile effort, as it just resumed it's place after her outburst.

"Sakura… I don't think Naruto's coming back," her teacher replied, preparing himself for any reaction she might give him.

After a moment's silence, she shook her head, not even bothering to face her instructor.

"I'm staying. He'll be here… he promised."

It was with a heavy heart that Kakashi went back into the house. He shut the door behind him and waited. Surely enough, he could hear the sobs wrack Sakura's lithe frame.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey guys. I may have left you with a cliffy, but I have an announcement to make. I made a Naruto:the Abridged Series reference. I am jealous of those lucky authors with fanart. oo;


	24. Cold Light of Day

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto, and a great many people should be glad of it. Were I to own Naruto, it would have never seen the light of publication.

* * *

Naruto opened his eyes in a far more comfortable world, than the one he remembered closing them in. There were no jutting surfaces, and no one feared for their lives in the immediate vicinity. The sun streaming down on his face indicating that there were no walls surrounding him, and a cool breeze caressed his face. It was a mite chilly, and someone had taken the liberty of placing a blanket on his body.

He was exhausted again, and the sod beneath him seemed as soft as any mattress. His senses were pleasantly dulled, and his brain wasn't too swift to recollect the events that had transpired directly before his impromptu nap.

While most of his body was comfortable, his neck stung badly, and he felt weak and limp. Everything tingled, like circulation had been cut off and was only just returning. Groggy as he was, he could only assume his brain was undergoing the same effect.

Two voices caught his attention, but with his buzzing ears he couldn't make out a single word. This was all right by him. He didn't need to know if their conversation was something private, which he assumed it was. Those two had a weird bond, but a bond nonetheless.

It was obvious to Naruto that he had been put into a death trance by an overly-cautious Haku. He couldn't help but wonder what time it was, and if he'd been out for days. Sasuke, if he recollected correctly, had only been down for an hour or so before waking from his seemingly dead state. If he had been hit in the same place, it was entirely probable he'd still be able to make it back to his teammates in time to fulfil his promise. That was, of course, if Zabuza and his loyal ward allowed him to leave without explaining things to every last detail.

_Come to think of it_, Naruto pondered, _what do I tell them if they ask me those questions? I could lie, but even Konohamaru can tell when I do, and I doubt these two would buy most of what came out of my mouth. I can't tell them the truth, though, dattebaiyo… this isn't easy…_

* * *

Sakura woke up late, having slept in after being carried into the house after falling asleep outside, insecure and devastated. Her eyes still felt raw, but it felt nothing like the curling of her insides at the thought of Naruto laying dead somewhere, alone and forgotten.

Her dreams had been nightmarish, she deduced from the dampness of the rug beneath her with sweat and the manner of which she'd struggled in her blankets. It wasn't unusual for the Haruno to have nightmares, but she was reasonably sure the ones she had just been experiencing went far beyond homosexual Sasuke and Ino as Hokage. Shuddering, she pushed those images out of her head.

The house was quiet, she noticed. There were a few pots being moved in the kitchen, and some stepping on the upper floor, but she didn't hear any of Tazuna's occasional hacking coughs or elderly rambles. She found it in her mind to be thankful her teammates had allowed her to sleep and headed to the bridge without her until she remembered that Zabuza was very likely still out there, casting his predatorily gaze on the builder and her precious Sasuke. It didn't help her state of mind that she envisioned the man's giant sword covered in Naruto's blood. Therefore, she left the builder's dwelling in a bit of a rush.

She arrived at the site before too long, and was somewhat relieved to find a group of about twelve villagers working peacefully with Tazuna, who bore no sign of assault. The builder barked orders this way and that, and Sakura couldn't help but marvel at the efficiency with which the civilians worked.

When the builder caught sight of her gawking, he jerked a thumb behind him, indicating the position where Sasuke sat in a thoughtful position, Kakashi peering everywhere like a watchdog.

She approached her comrades slowly, every step taking her into territory she wasn't comfortable with. She wanted to be back at home, untainted by the responsibility of knowing death. For a girl her age, even the loss of a complete stranger would have hit home. As shinobi, they weren't immortal.

"_Keep__ the mission in your heart, and never shed a tear." _She remembered reading that in the academy, and she never once doubted her ability to do it. Her inability to do so was something that she was ashamed of- it was a basic principle of the shinobi code after all. For her actions last night, she was afraid of Kakashi's disappointment. When she stopped next to him, she was relieved to receive no such rebuke.

Kakashi looked down at her for a minute, he had then paused his scan of the surrounding area. There had been no signs of an attack, obviously. He still had to be on guard, but the threat wasn't detectable. That being the case, Kakashi had been granted plenty of time to spend with his remaining male pupil, whose mood had darkened considerably since the night before. Despite any efforts Kakashi had made to reach Sasuke, the boy had just leered, not a word from his lips. The teacher was not too incredibly alarmed by this, but he made a mental note to check up on the Uchiha more often.

Sakura was an entirely different case. She had completely fallen apart when she thought no one was looking, but he had listened. He wasn't a family man. With his experience, the title was next to impossible to obtain. As a ninja, he was a prodigy and a wonder at his job, but as a human being, he just couldn't connect.

As far as he was concerned, females were lucky for being able to cry without looking like a freak (or Gai, who embodied the term). He remembered feeling the same way all those years ago with Rin, when Obito…

Kakashi furrowed his eyebrows, but not against the sun, which wasn't in the direction he was looking, having averted his eyes from the shaken Sakura.

"_I am Naruto Uzumaki, the one who will be Hokage. I will protect those who are important to me!" _

It was Naruto's own decision to leave so recklessly. Kakashi wouldn't, he _couldn't_ blame himself for that.

"_You won't hurt Kakashi-sensei!" _

Underneath his mask, he couldn't help but let out a small smile. There had still been no attack; Tazuna was safe. If only they hadn't left Naruto's staff on the road… He might have been able to send Pakkun out to retrieve the fearless kid before he reached whatever fate prevented him from returning. No, that was a lie. He had trusted in his student.

Naruto never gave his word without great conviction that he would do the task he set out to do. As far as Kakashi was concerned, if Naruto said he would be back in 12 hours, he would have been back in 12 hours or died trying.

The Hatake did not look forward to returning to Konoha, even if there was no conflict in their remaining time. Between Sarutobi's passive aggression and the monster Iruka would probably become, rabid tigers would probably be a less threatening welcoming committee. If and when old man Sarutobi learned of the blonde's fate, he just might force Kakashi to join a circus or something for an 'undercover' mission. He _knew_ Sarutobi. He wouldn't put it past the ancient Hokage.

"Sensei?" Sakura asked. She winced slightly at the sheer volume her voice held. The elite ninja turned to face her again, "Do you think they'll still attack the builder?"

Kakashi lazily regarded her from a strange angle and shrugged. The kunoichi wished she could see his face, but then she thought the better of it. All three of the present shinobi were stressed out and tense. She looked to Sasuke, who had the courtesy to not look away or roll his eyes for once. There was something empty in his gaze; more empty than usual. Once again, Sakura felt homesick. She wanted to be anywhere but where she was standing.

The sun made lethargic, and it made sluggish progress across the southern sky, shining cheerfully down on the people on the bridge. For the builders, it was a blessing. At the rate they were going, the bridge would be done within the next two days. Sasuke and Sakura were unaware of the common sentiment the shared with the cheery weather. They just wished it would rain.

* * *

**Author's note**: Thanks for bearing with me again, all of you. I might be able to update insanely. I have been shown the stars. They were invisible. Also, thank Skendall for fixing this baby up!

* * *


	25. IOU

Disclaimer: My hands may draw Naruto, but they were not the first hands to do it.

* * *

Another day had passed for Team 7, and Yoriiji's beard was considerably longer than it was supposed to be when he stormed into town with the remainder of Gato's bitter entourage. Aside from his personal hatred for an orange-clad ninja, whom he had been denied the pleasure of killing thanks to a mist ninja, With their employer dead(some of them actually witnessing the event), they were now broke and not too keen on the classified ads. They had done some things to secure their immediate futures, such as looting the bungalow for all it was worth, but the verdict was still the same.

Their payroll was on permanent hold, and they had to take it out on _somebody_.

With a surprising stroke of intelligence, the thugs had carefully marked out the area of the settlement they were going to ravage, ensuring it was reasonably far from the bridge and definitely out of earshot. Until they could be sure that the remaining Konoha ninja had left the area, they had to be very cautious.

The villagers in the marketplace didn't hesitate to hide and bolt the doors when around thirty heavily-armed men stormed down the lane. That didn't save the stores, however. Starting with the florist, and working down the street, various weapons smashed through wooden and glass entryways, eliciting shrieks of various pitches. The rampage quickly turned violent, people getting mugged and having their very clothes stolen from them until there was a reasonably noisy explosion in the center of their vicinity. Despite all the miscreants' careful planning, they forgot a rather important detail-

Ninjas ate lunch, too. Aside from that, they weren't very happy shinobi, and were more than happy to lay the smack down, which they did.

The attack was silent at first, the three getting up from the luncheon counter and not reacting when a particular group of the marauders threatened them. As the social rejects approached them, however, they whipped around and felled the first group with reasonable ease. A blow to the face here and a jutsu there did wonders for the miracle of ass-kicking.

Yoriiji's accomplices fell all around him, and when he was the only one left standing, he couldn't help but wonder why the children(if they could be called that, as they were efficient combat machines) hadn't caused him grievous bodily damage yet. They simply stared at him with an unreadable expression. He found out the cause of their inaction shortly after the adult warrior came in, masked and formidable. There was no pity or emotion in his experienced grappling. Five seconds with Kakashi saw Yoriiji sprawled on the floor with a knife uncomfortable close to his throat.

"Why did you attack?" the questionnaire began, causing the thug's stomach to churn. Nobody in their right mind(or not in their right mind, for that matter) wanted to be interrogated by a ninja. No one could go into the mercenary line of business without hearing the horror stories. Unsurprisingly, the next twenty minutes were not enjoyable to Yoriiji in any way. Every time he shut his mouth, the girl with pink hair was all too willing to hurt him. Honestly, though, he couldn't help but question what he had done to merit such special treatment.

The information flowed out of the lowlife's mouth quite easily, so Sakura didn't get as much torment in as she would have liked. Gato was dead, and as far as they knew, Zabuza and his tag-a-long had long since departed. Gato's remaining forces had consisted of the people the ninja had already thrashed, and the chances of them attacking again were, at most, minimal. The man received an unearned bit of abuse, of course, upon disclosing their blonde comrade's fate.

"Dead," he had grunted at them, slightly amused to watch the pink-haired bitch's face contort,"-the masked kid nailed him like nothing' else."

Those words were the last he'd be able to speak for about three days, as the unreadable leader of the rag-tag team delivered a blow to his skull that would leave a new scar for the collection already adorning the thug's body.

Sakura didn't even dare breathe. She had done her crying.

"We're going to find that masked kid, right?" Sasuke asked, outraged beneath his calm mask.

Silence permeated throughout the room before Kakashi made a simple announcement, voice dangerously quiet.

"We're going back to the bridge."

Sasuke growled under his breath, "Why? Our informant just told us the danger's OVER."

"This is still a C-rank mission, Sasuke. If there is a chance of even a wild animal attack, we have to cover the builder until the construction is over." came the apathetic reply.

"Bull." Sasuke hissed, eyes flashing. "You think I'm going to sit back and play the good little ninja?! NARUTO IS DEAD. Someone KILLED him, and you aren't going to do a damned thing about it?! I thought you were a great man. What happened to the 'Man of a Thousand Jutsu'?!"

Kakashi's back steeled, making him look like the scarecrow that was his namesake.

"What would you have me do, then? Go out of my way to antagonize a ninja who shares my rank while still being responsible for you brats?!" Sasuke recoiled at this, causing the gray-haired teacher to continue, "Has it ever occurred to you that I might be trying to keep you safe?"

"We don't need your protection!" Sasuke spat in retaliation. "We aren't infants, Kakashi!"

"THEN STOP ACTING LIKE ONE, UCHIHA SASUKE!" the addressed adult bellowed, taking even himself by surprise. "You aren't invincible."

Sasuke bit his lower lip and bowed his head, humbled but unable to apologize. Sakura stood in his shadow, biting her pink hair. Kakashi had yet to turn around, and it didn't seem he was going to. Despite this, his tone became much gentler.

"Come on. We're burning daylight." the jonin urged, causing Sakura to groan despite herself. The man had no right to talk.

* * *

Haku leaned over the slowly-rousing Naruto. Mask in place, he regarded the boy curiously. It had been two days since he knocked the boy into a death trance, and all things considered, he recovered quickly for a person his age. After all, Haku hadn't hit him in a spot where the effects were brief. He should have, now that he thought back on it, but he had been afraid. Had the black-haired Mist Ninja not been able to find the documents supporting the blue-eyed boys nearly impossible claims, the death trance would have been the only thing to spare the genin from Zabuza's fatal wrath.

Haku didn't make a sound as the child from Konoha struggled to sit up and rub his eyes. Like he had on many occasions, the kekkai genkai user just watched carefully. The blonde opened his mouth and let out a loud yawn before looking over at him. With a flash of recognition, the blue-eyed genin reached under the blanket with his left hand for what Haku assumed was his misplaced weapon holster. However, after a few moments, it was apparent the kid was only scratching his butt After finishing that, the boy lifted up his right hand to wave.

"Yo." he greeted, strangely unperturbed by the situation he was in.

"Good evening." Haku replied before needlessly adding, "I see you're awake."

Naruto regarded his host blearily, accentuated by his growling stomach, causing Haku to smile behind his plaster mask. A few more seconds passed with the foreign shinobi just looking at one another before something in the blonde's brain snapped.

"Evening?!" Naruto stammered, face paling. Haku, once again baffled by the child's behavior, just nodded.

"How long…how long have I been sleeping?!" the Uzumaki demanded, energy streaming back into his frame at an impossible rate.

"Two days." Haku informed him before turning to the fire behind him and plucking up a roasted fish and handing it to his guest. "Here. Eat."

Naruto wolfishly devoured the meal provided, unable to ignore his belly's plea for satisfaction despite his discomfort with being late. After swallowing the last bit, he looked to Haku pleadingly.

"I gotta go!" he sputtered, wiggling out of the blanket he was provided and staggering to his feet. Haku let him go about his frantic movements for a moment before shaking his head.

"You can't leave yet," Haku stated and was promptly ignored. Naruto quickly found his shirt and jacket and put them on before scouring the campsite for his other things.

"I said you can't go." Haku repeated, moving his head to watch the blonde's stamina return with bewilderment.

"Why not?" Naruto asked, slightly frustrated.

"Zabuza told me to make you stay here until he comes back."

The Uzumaki groaned. "When will that be? Sakura's going to KILL ME! I am so freaking late!"

By this point, Naruto was gesticulating wildly.

"Calm down…" Haku sighed, bringing a graceful hand to his face. Naruto carried on, however, ranting about the horrible fates that awaited him for about two minutes straight before he was interrupted by a man carrying a giant sword.

"…." Zabuza leered down at the noisy intruder of his peaceful camp, instantly quieting the outburst.

"Welcome back, Master Zabuza." Haku said cheerily, handing the older man the remaining fish from the campfire. There was no sound of gratitude before the 'demon' sat down and ripped into his meal with his fang-like teeth, all the while watching Naruto fidget nervously.

It took some time for Naruto to gather the courage to speak, but when the words finally came out, they were resolute.

"I.want.to.go.home." he annunciated in Zabuza's direction, face drawn in a sulk.

"Whatever." the man grunted, disinterested in the words of the boy.

"Okay, then. I'll just be on my way-"

"Like hell." Zabuza interrupted, his sword suddenly barring the kage's son from leaving the way he had intended. The movement also had the side effect of making the lad yelp, which was immensely satisfying.

"What do you want from me?" the blonde youth demanded after recovering from the shock.

"Nothing." the infamous criminal answered, sounding as if the answer was obvious.

"Then it's easy. Just let me go."

"No." Zabuza finished his meal and stood up, the difference in height causing a shadow from the campfire to cover Naruto's face, which was suddenly passive.

"I don't like to be in debt." the man said, once again sounding like he had answered the questions that plagued mankind's existence.

"So?" Naruto deadpanned.

"You aren't leaving until it's paid." he insisted, causing Naruto to become very confused. It wasn't a threat, but the words were still not soothing in any way. The former ANBU leader motioned to his underling and pointed to the clueless Uzumaki. Haku bowed his head, instantly understanding the request.

"As you wish, sir." Without any further prompting, Haku seized Naruto and began to drag him backwards into the woods.

"…I'll let you know that if you are going to attempt to kill me again, I shall not hesitate to kick your ass." Naruto muttered at his captor, who let out a hollow chuckle.

"You aren't even CLOSE to my league, silly ninja."

"Oh yeah?" Naruto asked, "On what basis do you say that?"

"I beat you, didn't I? It didn't take much." Haku giggled, once again making Naruto question his true gender.

It was Naruto's turn to laugh. "Did you think I was trying or something?"

Underneath the mask, Haku lifted an eyebrow, amused. "It seemed that way, didn't it?"

"Well, I wasn't, just so you know." Naruto said lazily, his bare feet trailing in the dirt as Haku pulled him. "What are you doing, anyway?"

"Zabuza wants me to teach you a jutsu." Excitement welled up in the Uzumaki's heart, but was quickly pushed aside for a reasonably question.

"-and then can I leave?" the blonde asked nervously.

"Of course. It'll probably only take you a month to master it, during which time the three of us shall move all over the countryside."

"THE HELL? I CAN'T BE GONE FOR A MONTH!"

"Then take it up with Zabuza."

"….damn."

* * *

Author's note: 2k words in one day. Somebody give me some Visene!

* * *


	26. Silver Lining

Disclaimer: Dude.

* * *

The construction of the bridge continued without incident over the next two days, and the project was completed as planned. With the exception of Tazuna and his escorts, everyone was in high spirits. There were cheers heard all around, and in the night that followed, the village celebrated their newfound freedom with a miniature festival with Team 7 as the guests of honor. There was a small spot in the festivities set aside for a dedication to Naruto, but as the party wore on it was all but forgotten.

The incomplete team spent the evening in a variety of ways. Kakashi, for example, won a drinking contest that he was forced to enter before whipping out his little smut book, warding off conversation for the next two hours. Sasuke had no such weapon of distraction, and had no choice but to pretend he was listening to the stories of a bunch of elderly fishermen who had dragged him to their circle.

Sakura was at the party for twenty minutes before she couldn't take it anymore and bolted back to the bridge-builder's house, where Inari soon followed, bringing his personal dark cloud with him.

"Couldn't stand the party, huh?" the boy muttered as soon as he spotted the girl and sat down in a place that blocked her view out of the window, before snorting, "I suppose our little village doesn't have the sort of foods that _heroes_ like you are used to."

Sakura chose to politely ignore his comment, but Tazuna's grandson wasn't done with his scathe-fest.

"You didn't even do anything." he stated, this time louder. "-the person who did is dead. They don't even know his name."

Fireworks went of in the distance, the sound of the distant celebration a dull roar. Orange light penetrated the night sky and vanished.

"It's late, Inari. You should go to bed," Sakura chided with a strained smile. Inari immediately crossed his arms and pretended he didn't hear.

"Nobody even knew his name. Even now they don't; they just enjoy the effects he brought them, just like that," the child indicated, pointing at another firework that exploded in a fiery display of art. There was a cheer, but it died as soon as the sparks stopped emitting luminance in the horizon.

Sakura watched the fireworks quietly, mulling over the concept of the broken child's words. That was a sad analogy of life, but it made sense. In many ways, life and fireworks were a decent reflection of each other. Like a firework, there was a point of ignition and a time of ending. The amount of time you have may be influenced by a few factors, but in the end, you only have that small window to do what you must to awe the crowd. If your 'performance' was adequate, people will remember the show for a little while, but move on. _That,_ Sakura mused with a smile, _and Naruto would be honored to be compared to one of these flashy explosions._

"It's pointless… They'll remember Gato's name but not his. People listen to bad people; they _make _themselves matter."

Sakura shifted her position to be closer to Inari.

"You say it like corruption's something to admire," she pointed out, causing the kid to look conflicted. A moral battle was obviously being fought in the boy's soul.

"I don't want to be forgotten," Inari whimpered after a time, surprised to feel Sakura's arms surround him with warmth.

"It takes courage to fight for what's right when people are anonymous to you. Naruto knew that. What made him brave was that he fought anyway." she whispered, watching the finale of the pyrotechnics display by the young boy's side. A barrage of blues mingled with the oranges and whites, occasionally dappled with a hint of purple.

"Why would he do that? Why would he DIE for it?" Inari questioned, using the term 'he' in a manner that encompassed both his father and Naruto in a single statement.

Sakura shut her eyes and smiled serenely.

"Love." she replied, finally acknowledging something that had nagged at her mind for a very long time. Inari clenched his teeth and pulled his hat over his eyes.

"That's stupid," he argued, but his heart wasn't in it. Sakura closed her eyes while the last firework died away, her smile still in place as she nodded.

"You're right. It's incredibly stupid."

"…Huh?" Inari asked, once again startled by the girl's unusually profound words.

"I don't think I'd like a world without idiots," she said, taking the child's hat off to mess his hair. "I hope you grow up to be one."

Having said her piece, Sakura walked off to prepare for bed, leaving Inari by himself to look at the stars. For what would be the last time for years, Tazuna's grandson began crying.

* * *

The next morning, Team 7 became the first travelers ever to step foot on the completed bridge. A group of the villagers followed to see them off. Tazuna stood at the fore, feeling guilt as he shook Kakashi's hand in thanks. There had to be something he could do, but what?

Kakashi Hatake soon left to lead his students, but before they covered a full ten meters, their former client called out to them.

"Show a little more spirit! You're walking on the great Naruto bridge!"

The three stopped briefly before continuing, during which time Kakashi turned back to the old man with a single phrase, devoid of any emotion whatsoever.

"…Ah. Thanks."

* * *

Zabuza Momochi sat contentedly on his branch, Haku hovering over the foreign kid n the riverbank below him. Every now and then, he'd bark some sort of criticism at the blonde, who nearly always startled at the sound. All things put into account, the kid was a fast learner. It had taken a week and a half for Haku to progress to where the kid was in his education of the technique. Actually, the blue-eyed streak of energy had the potential to become quite useful. "Hmmm…"

"Like this?" came the blue-eyed boy's voice, full of drive and determination.

"Close, but more like this, Naruto-kun," Haku corrected him patiently, leaving Zabuza to smirk at how content his companion was.

The missing ninja reclined, predicting that the temporary member of his troupe would have the jutsu mastered within the next two days.

"Oh, like THIS!" Naruto laughed, jerking Zabuza out of his reverie with a shout.

"WATER DRAGON JUTSU!"

The riverbank roared to life, the once-calm current molded by the chakra surrounding it into a screaming raised funnel. Haku watched in awe as the creature nearly reached completion before exploding on all of them, effectively soaking even the man in the tree.

"Watch it!" Zabuza roared, shaking himself off like a wet dog. Naruto let out a nervous chuckle while the water dripped off of him.

"He's all but mastered it, Master Zabuza!" Haku chimed, causing the addressed to snort derisively. Naruto's face brightened considerably. After four days of absence, he could finally go home!

"Teach him something else." Zabuza ordered, causing Naruto's hope to do a swan-dive. Sure, he was happy for the added education, but Sakura really was going to eviscerate him at this rate.

"Can't we just call it even and let me go?" the boy asked, immediately earning a chilling gaze from the infamous rogue ninja present before him.

"No."

"Can I please write a letter?!" Naruto pleaded for what must have been the hundredth time. "Seriously, I appreciate the help, but they're really going to kill me back home!"

"Not if you kill them first," Zabuza pointed out, causing Naruto to fall flat on his face and writhe with the futility of the conflict. Zabuza just didn't get it!

"Why would I want to?!"

"They're unnecessary."

"What the heck is your problem?!"

Haku sighed as the two bickered. He felt bad for Naruto, but he understood why their communications were so strict. It would be incredibly stupid to send a letter to Konoha for several reasons, most of them including being hunted down and apprehended and/or killed. Secretly, though, he was happy to have a friend his age and didn't much like the thought of Naruto departing anytime soon.

* * *

Author's note: This one was shorter, but I didn't get sunburnt today. Don't ask me how chapter length and skin damage are related. I couldn't tell you if I tried.


	27. Nonverbal Communications

Disclaimer: Naruto is not what I make it into. I think it's what we make it, deep in our hearts.

* * *

Naruto stewed over the campfire with his body covered in mud. It had been a whole two weeks, now, and he had been caught trying to escape from his two 'tutors' for the nineteenth time, though his strategy varied with every attempt. This time the plan had included a hornet's nest, thirty shadow clones, and a sexy no jutsu, though not necessarily in that order. At first, it had seemed like a success. His shadow clone had managed to pull Haku and Zabuza in the wrong direction. Well, it had seemed like it at the time. With gusto, Naruto had managed to cover a decent eleven kilometers and had nearly reached Tazuna's village when he was grabbed by the back of his dirtied collar by a mildly entertained Zabuza.

"_WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LET ME GO?!" the young escapee had demanded, surprised by the enjoyment Zabuza was making of his misery._

"_I said a month, Kid," Zabuza had replied, soon being joined by a masked Haku with his debilitating weapons at the ready. "-but I'm tempted to say until you can actually escape from me without leaving a trail of your nervous energy."_

"_You can TRACK that?!" Naruto managed to choke out before being forcibly dragged out to the campsite he had ditched._

"Damn it…" Naruto sulked, staring into the flames and fidgeting with his tied hands. Granted, he knew how to untie a knot, but it would take a lot more than the standard trick to get past his larger captor. If they kept him any longer than a month, there was more than his own life at stake. The Chuunin Exams, if he remembered correctly, would happen within two, and if he didn't get back on time, he shuddered to think of the fates of his fellow villagers. He tried to explain his plight to Haku with the framework of a schedule, but the ninja laughed at what had seemed an improvised fabrication on the part of his new friend.

_Why is it nobody listens to me, I wonder?_

Zabuza's ward had undertaken a project those past few nights. Ironically, Naruto's little escape plan had coincided with a trip the orphaned kekkai genkai user had intended to take anyway. Haku sensed the unhappiness surrounding Naruto and gave him a brief nudge, causing the boy to perk up a little. He had still managed to do _something_ right. If it hadn't been for him, there would have been no Haku sitting to his right now, sewing something orange. Why was he sewing something orange, anyway?

_Speaking of which…_

Naruto looked down at his clothes. He had washed them a few times, but there really wasn't much in the laundry opportunity department in the wilderness. They were stained with his blood, sweat, and the mud he had become so accustomed to. On that note, Naruto could feel his blonde hair growing shaggy, as some of his bangs now covered his eyes at all times. If it weren't for the bright colors that Naruto was associated with, he doubted very many people in Konoha would recognize him through the mess.

"Do you like it?" Haku asked, sounding more feminine than usual. Naruto looked back to the orange cloth in the unmasked Haku's hand, surprised he didn't notice what it was supposed to be before. His blue eyes observed what must have been a specialized cotton with awe. "I got the last of the threads this morning."

Naruto felt guilt bubbling up inside him for the thought of ditching Haku without saying goodbye. Sure, his master was a jerk, but Haku?

"Y-yeah! Thanks!" Naruto responded, reaching out to touch the completely new orange shirt being dangled in front of him. It wasn't really a fashion statement, but even a nightgown was an improvement to the torn-up threads he was sporting at that point. The design was practical; a few pockets resided in the sides, and it looked like it would reach about down to his knees. Also, he noted with pleasure, it looked like it would be much easier to wash until he was able to get back to his village.

Haku smiled knowingly placed the new garment aside, aware that Naruto wasn't really in a place where he could put it on with his hands bound. He knew something that would further lighten his captive's mood, however.

"So, what do you want to learn tomorrow?" Haku asked brightly while picking up his materials.

Naruto scrunched up his face for a second in thought, as he did every time he was asked. It was a hard decision, really. He always wanted to learn something useful, but at the same time, he often tried to learn something that would help him escape or communicate with those who were uninformed of his situation.

Thus far, Naruto had mastered two jutsus, the water dragon and prison. He had also learned some basic drills used by the hunter-nin policing force for flexibility and chakra control.

After some deliberation, Naruto finally just asked for Haku to surprise him so he could plot some more.

Sleep that night was business as usual, having the campfire doused before the darkness came, burying it, and covering the loose soil with a big rock. With that precaution taken, the three slept in their mats on the grasses with sticks below, positioned to make it look like deer had slept where they had. It was an uncomfortable way to doze, but terribly inventive.

Naruto couldn't help but marvel at how thorough the two rogue ninja were at covering their tracks. It was no wonder the Momochi had never been caught.

The stars were beautiful that night, barely any clouds in the way of his view. The sky was so vast and amazing, but Naruto probably wouldn't have admired the backdrop if it were raining gold nuggets. All he could think about were his teammates.

"Please don't hate me, guys.." he muttered to no one, allowing his worries to take him far into the night before he actually dozed off.

Unfortunately for the Kyuubi's host, sleep was not a reprieve that night. Nightmares of a hysterical, axe-wielding Sakura abounded, followed by a Sasuke completely possessed by Orochimaru.

* * *

From the very moment Kakashi and his pupils entered the gates, he felt an extreme sense of shame kick in. The chuunin sentries of Konohagure had known better than to pry, but there was a grim flash of recognition in their eyes as they counted three members returning in the place of four.

The regular mission papers were handed to Kakashi alongside a very foreboding yellow slip. He hadn't seen that parchment in a long time, but he knew he was going to have to fill one out. Names on those slips were put into one of two categories-KIA or the ANBU's archives, depending on the circumstances. He remembered Minato writing Obito's name on one all those years ago.

Sakura and Sasuke waited behind him, winded from the journey and eager to be dismissed. The paper had retained his attention, however, so their stint in the sun was elongated.

"The hokage has been waiting for your return, sir. You should show your reports as soon as possible." the shorter one of the sentries announced after allowing the returning shinobi to space out for about two minutes. The gray-haired man nodded and turned to the two adolescents standing behind him.

Sakura looked at him expectantly and motioned to her bags.

"You can go home. I'll send for you if I need you." he told them, the two bowing respectfully and walking off their different ways. With them gone, he sighed dejectedly and walked to his own apartment with the paperwork in hand. As it could be imagined, all he wanted was to go home in peace and write out his report. Of course, fate wasn't about to allow that to happen.

Of all the people for the lone wolf Kakashi to run into at that time, the one he dreaded most was not Gai. While the man may have been a pain in the ass, he at least wouldn't have a personal vendetta against him within thirty seconds of their meaning. No, the person he had wanted to avoid most was the mother hen of a male they called Iruka.

"Hey, Kakashi!" came the cheery greeting that caused Kakashi to stop dead in his tracks. He didn't dare turn around. "I bet you're just ready to tear your hair out, huh?"

Footsteps indicated that the chuunin was catching up to him, and the Hatake fought the urge to flee and lock his doors.

"Ah, what's the matter, Kakashi? Headache? I wouldn't be surprised, that Naruto is a downright pain sometimes, isn't he? I know he doesn't get along with Sasuke, that must have been fun."

The soon-to-be wreck of a man was closing in, and there was nothing Kakashi could do to spare him.

"You probably have to fill out your mission reports, right? How about we do it over a cup of t-" Iruka was looking over his shoulder now, his breath hitching in his throat upon sighting the yellow slip Kakashi was rushing to conceal.

Iruka grabbed the slip directly out of Kakashi's hands and eyed it in horror as the speculation rushed through his brain. There was no way in hell this was really in the stack of reports Kakashi had to fill out. It had only been a C-ranked mission!

"Iruka… give that back." Kakashi sighed and reclaimed the piece of paper. To his surprise, Iruka's face was only on of slight irritation.

"I hope you're going to complain," the younger man stated seriously while returning the slip,"-that's a really big misfile. Those are to be treated with more respect, you know. You don't just hand them back to any returning group, especially ones with genins members."

Kakashi continued his marathon of not facing Iruka, and added an event of not responding to the event. Iruka's face slowly fell, but his hope remained.

"It's not like you need it or anything, right?" he asked, keeping a note of jest to his voice. "Right?!"

The last of the Hatake continued to stand absolutely still, unmoving until Iruka couldn't stand it and stepped in front of his co-worker and looked at him directly in the carefully-guarded eye.

"Kakashi, there's something you're not telling me."

Kakashi didn't know how to break the news, so he didn't. The jonin pushed past his associate and continued walking towards his apartment, which prompted something primal in Iruka's internal mechanics.

Suddenly realizing the truth of the situation, Naruto's cherished mentor felt his hands shake and his heart fall. He felt like it had dropped a nice few degrees in temperature, as well.

"Who is it for?!" Iruka now demanded, halting the copy ninja's retreat by stepping in front of him once more, "WHO IS THAT ACCURSED THING FOR?!"

Kakashi felt like he was going to break, and his face showed it. Though he once again gave no verbal answer, Iruka just knew.

"No…" he muttered, eyes suddenly like an injured child's. "Tell me this is a joke, Kakashi. Tell me this is another one of your sick, twisted jokes. Tell me that slip is just for show."

"Iruka, I'm sorry…" Kakashi began, voice hushed, but the damage was done, and Iruka's face contorted quickly. Where before there had been a gentle-spirited teacher of elementary students, there now stood a wounded animal clenching its fists.

"You have to fill out those reports, Kakashi." he hissed through clenched teeth. "I'll just wait for you in Hokage-sama's office."

Kakashi watched as Iruka stormed off, leaving him alone with the papers in the alleyway he had been walking in.

"Well, that could have gone better."

* * *

Author's note: Angstometer maxed out. I wrote another 2k while answering questions. Moo.

* * *


	28. Squirrel Ex Machina

Disclaimer: I'm awesome, but I'm not Kishimoto-awesome.

* * *

Haku woke Naruto up in the early morning hours before dawn with a gentle set of nudges. All too happy to escape from his nightmares, the ramen-loving demon vessel opened his eyes and got up without so much as a single groan. Zabuza continued snoring, as he generally woke about an hour after his cohorts. As a result of the older man's sleeping habits, Naruto got ready quietly after Haku removed his bonds to keep him from escaping in the night.

Their breakfast consisted of a handful of nuts, but Naruto was used to the meager portions after two weeks. He ate it gratefully before Haku motioned for him to follow.

The two ninja covered about two miles on foot before finding a place Haku was satisfied with. The clearing in question was different from the ones he'd worked in before with the fact that most of the trees were dead and collapsing onto one another. Naruto's eyes flashed with curiosity. What did Haku have in mind?

"You said you wanted me to surprise you, didn't you, Naruto?" Haku asked, rummaging through the bag he had placed in his garb.

"You've got me guessing," the blonde admitted while situating himself on a log to watch his temporary teacher pull out the object his was looking for and approach him. A senbon needle rested in the feminine boy's hand.

"Have you ever used one of these?" he asked his blue-eyed hostage, who shook his head while perking up in interest. Haku couldn't help but admire Naruto's willingness to learn.

"They didn't really go over those at all in Konoha. We have kunai and shuriken, but those needle-things aren't used much."

Haku nodded knowingly and handed the needle to Naruto's outstretched hand. The jinchuuriki placed his fingers in various positions and rolled it. It wasn't that he wasn't familiar with the thing, but he had never been given one willingly. After he finished his inspection, he quirked an eyebrow at Haku.

"There are several reasons these needles are considered an unconventional weapon, Naruto-kun. For one thing, they aren't as easy to throw as kunai; go ahead and try. Your target is the stump over there." Haku instructed, pointing at a particularly sad piece of lumber.

Soon enough, the needle flew from Naruto's hand in the direction of his mark, but it bounced off the stump on impact, wood meeting wood. The Uzumaki scowled at this before turning to his companion.

"It doesn't do that when you toss it," Naruto remarked, though his words were not needed at all. Haku chuckled.

"Of course it doesn't. While an acupuncture needle isn't very sharp, it can be altered by the manner of a toss. Like most attacks, there's a trick to it."

Naruto scooped back up the needle and returned to his respective perch, where he waited for Haku's next words expectantly. While he had been hoping for another jutsu, being able to use his arm as a needle gatling was an appealing idea.

"When you toss a kunai, there is a very distinct center of gravity, right?" Haku asked, Naruto giving him a quick nod. "Needles have a much less notable one, so in order to gain velocity, you need to shoot at an angle where gravity helps you."

Haku jumped up on the log beside Naruto and jumped high into the air before throwing another senbon downwards at the stump, where it stuck in the wood, making a neat little hole. Naruto mimicked him, but all that was accomplished was a dent in the wood before the needle clattered to the ground as before.

"What, am I not throwing it hard enough?" Naruto asked, hurrying over to retrieve his practice weapon.

"Well, in a sense. You're holding it wrong." Haku corrected, demonstrating how a senbon was supposed to be fingered. Accustomed to his kunai, Naruto spent a few minutes just working on his hold. When he had that down, the toss was a cinch.

Haku stepped up his lesson after that point, showing Naruto the finer points of different types of tosses and used a mud-etched diagram to show the effective attack points on the human body. Naruto wasn't entirely surprised when the mist ninja made no less than 25 marks on the neck alone.

By the end of the day, Naruto was able to nail a twig dummy set up at about twelve meters away. Content with Naruto's progress, Haku ended the lesson with a few words of praise. They fell on deaf ears, however, since Naruto had lapsed back into scheming mode. While he wasn't going to attempt to escape today, as Zabuza would we ready and waiting for such an outburst, he would try to find SOME way of making contact with Konoha. How he was going to do that, he wasn't sure, but when he was allowed his usual timeslot of downtime, the boy dwelt on the idea.

At first, he thought of sending an etched leaf on a squirrel after tying on with a tough plant stem, but he deduced that would be a stupid idea. That didn't stop him from doing it, though. He was so desperate to get a hold of them anymore, he probably would have attempted the same thing on an aggressive bear.

The leaf was etched with a little stick, and he hoped the writing was legible.

The message simply read, "I'm still here-Naruto", but he didn't really have much more room than that. After he tethered the leaf to the unfortunate squirrel he had managed to nab, he set it free in a random direction, hoping it would reach someone who would recognize what it meant, and not some predator's belly.

The carrier-rodent was not devoured, thankfully. It scurried off into the distance, where it managed to defy all laws of probability and ended up on a peddler's wagon, where it's tail ended up being pinned by a small lucky cat statue. Now, while that on its own was a bizarre set of circumstances, the ones to follow were even stranger.

The peddler stopped ia small settlement between Konoha nad the land of waves, where he ended up freeing the squirrel and selling the lucky cat that had fallen on top of it to an elderly woman with an irritable attitude. The woman took notice of the squirrel in the cart and mentioned how silly it was for him to have dressed it, but if that was a ware he was looking to unload, she had a granddaughter in Konohagure that was looking for a pet.

While the peddler had been unaware of the creature's presence until his customer had pointed it out, he was unable to turn down an opportunity to make money and caged it under a collector's edition colander for the journey to his next stop, which was the ninja village in question.

The accident-prone squirrel spent the next two days under the kitchen accessory on the bumpy path, with the peddler feeding and giving it water intermittently.

Eventually, the wagon stopped in Konoha's market square, where the peddler quickly made himself a place. He set out his goods according to what they were, and kept the squirrel under the cage the colander served as.

Oddly enough, Sakura Haruno's mother had a strange urge to go shopping that morning. It wasn't unlike her to leave the house from time to time, but she honestly could not explain her compulsion to even herself when she left the house with her purse in hand.

The woman stepped through the market square, purchasing a few sweets and foodstuffs, but stopped dead in front of the peddler's blanket, which was being frequented by children who were trying to peek through a silver piece of kitchenware.

"What's in there?" she asked the man, who had stroked his long chin and informed her of the squirrel he was selling as a pet, promising it to be disease-free. While normally a woman like Mrs. Haruno wouldn't even consider buying an animal, her daughter came to mind.

Sakura had really been in the dumps lately, and a pet may have been just what the doctor ordered. So, Sakura's mother purchased the odd leaf-wearing squirrel and took it home in a cage she bought at another pet vendor who was stationed conveniently nearby and headed for home.

* * *

Author's note: BET YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT!

* * *


	29. They Aren't Mine, I Swear!

Disclaimer: Naruto Uzumaki is nobody's slave.

* * *

Sakura was indeed in a dark mood as of late. While she still had comparably nothing on Sasuke, who had been reduced to a spiteful training recluse, she still could hardly look at her fellow villagers without feeling a wave of disgust.

Her teammate had been decided dead by the council two days before some of the townspeople with less scruples raided her former comrade's apartment. There were those who refrained from such activities, of course, and several parties who even felt this was an injustice, but for whatever reason they allowed it to go on. Within the span of two hours, it was if Naruto had never existed.

It wasn't that she didn't have something to remember him by, of course. Between the memories and the fact that she had gone out of her way to retrieve the Uzumaki's staff during their return trip, she couldn't really say she had needed anything from that room, but the whole spectacle had unnerved her greatly.

The ending of the whole fiasco hadn't helped to undo the damage to her world view; she had never seen Iruka so angry. Irritated, yes, but not so angry that he resorted to threatening to burn down a building if he was ignored while simultaneously leering and laughing without mirth. Needless to say, the grudge-bearing crowd had left after that, but a majority of Naruto's apartment was empty, now.

She stepped onto his floors for what would be the last time, as the city had decided to grant that complex to someone else. The remains of what he had gathered in his twelve years of life were gone, but dust traces indicated that they were moved from places of honor on his shelves or neat piles in corners. Here and there, an empty ramen cup or a snack wrapper would blow in the wind seeping through a destroyed window. The scene was bleak.

Sakura didn't know why she had gone into the abandoned house, much less why she had brought it upon herself to see if there was anything left behind. She wasn't a packrat or scavenger, but the thought of something with high sentimental value just being thrown away disturbed her.

Her foot stepped on a loose floorboard, and Sakura didn't hesitate to lift it. What greeted her eyes stole her train of thought.

_Where did Naruto get erotic magazines?!_ she had to wonder, despite the fact she found her hands rifling through the pile until she felt something with a very different texture at the very bottom. With gusto, the kunoichi removed what seemed to be a picture frame and a few envelopes.

The picture wasn't anything she hadn't been expecting, but it made her heart ache. The Iruka in the picture was grinning mischievously, pushing Naruto's headband over his head and messing his hair like a brother would.

That mystery aside, Sakura placed the frame into her bag. She would probably set it on Iruka's doorstep later. She didn't want to be around when it was discovered, to be sure.

The envelopes were a different matter. They were, for whatever reason, sealed and unlabelled. With all her self-control, she shoved them into her bag without opening them. Those she wouldn't give to Iruka, she decided. She would hide those from the eyes of the world until judgment day(or the day she couldn't take the suspense anymore).

The young Haruno spent a few more minutes in the room, just checking for things she had missed before making her way back outside.

The walk back to her house was uneventful, though she did feel inclined to stop when she ran into her rather bedraggled sensei outside the pub, reading his book intensely. There was something she had been meaning to ask him.

* * *

"_This is indeed grave, Kakashi." Sarutobi chewed on his pipe without so much as looking up from the papers in front of him. Iruka, who was situated close beside the old man, lurched uncomfortably in position._

_Kakashi, for his part, stood in front of the desk like a puppy about to be reprimanded._

"_We shall have to be more careful with our assignments as a village. This can't be allowed to happen again." _

_Kakashi bowed slightly before the hokage, "Sir, what about the council..? We all know that Naruto was more than an average genin."_

_The hokage sighed. "You are correct, Kakashi. The council will have to convene to decide what is to be done, whether or note we search or even allow this incident to leak. The kid provided us with some political leverage, shunned though he was."_

"_What will happen now?" Iruka asked from his place in the chair, face drawn painfully straight._

_The hokage straightened himself and stood up. "We shall continue business as usual as if nothing ever happened," he ordered with a hint of remorse, "and Team 7 shall await a replacement for the member the lost."_

"_You're leaving Kakashi in charge?!" Iruka suddenly snapped out of his carefully-regulated trance. "After he-"_

"_Silence, Iruka!" the elderly man bellowed, immediately silencing the now trembling academy instructor. "-I know how you may feel about this, but Kakashi cannot be held responsible for your little friend's demise!"_

_Kakashi remained standing in the center of the room and watched as Iruka bowed in the Fire Shadow's gaze. "Go home, Iruka. Get some rest."_

_The ponytail Iruka sported on the back of his head bobbed only slightly when the young man gave his reluctant assent and left Kakashi and Sarutobi in the room together alone._

"_You may leave also, Kakashi. I will contact you when the council is adjourned." the hokage paused,"-and I'd advise you to steer clear of Iruka for a while." _

_He didn't need to tell Kakashi twice._

"_Yes, sir," the Hatake echoed out of habit before departing the depressing scene._

Kakashi sighed and turned the page. He had indeed been contacted with the council's decision, and had been spared any consequences of his actions. As if to make him feel worse than he already had, the council announced that Konoha would begin to prepare for the Chuunin Exams, something that Kakashi had intended for his students to be involved in.

The visible eye on the elite ninja's face trailed across the page. He had read the same three paragraphs a full five times now, but hadn't really been taking in any of it. No amount of forbidden passion could fill in his sense of self-inadequacy, but the appearance of being engrossed did drive away most would-be conversationalists. Sakura, however, wasn't one of the discouraged.

A feminine set of fingers impeded his view of the page. Kakashi groaned and looked up, knowing those appendages well.

"What do you need, Sakura?" he asked, pulling his book into his vest where she could not witness it's contents. The last thing he needed was her needling him about that right now.

"N-nothing… I was just wondering if you'd heard anything about Naruto's replacement."

"Not a word," Kakashi muttered, cocking an eyebrow at her. "Anything else?"

The pink-haired girl shook her head. "No. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Ah. See you," Kakashi agreed, waiting for her to leave his range of vision before bringing back out his potential escape in a hurry.

Mrs.Haruno had just finished preparing dinner when her daughter walked through the front door. There was a quick greeting called to the woman from the other room, which she returned before beckoning her little girl to the kitchen.

Sakura heard her mother's telltale 'surprise' voice, but she wasn't very enthused. The last time her mother had used that tone, her mother had sewn her the ugliest dress she had ever laid her eyes on. This being said, it was with very low expectations that she met her mother in the next room.

"Look what I got for you, Sweetheart!" her mother cooed, causing a spark of indignity to spark in the young girl's soul. She would have opened her mouth to inform her mother for the eightieth time that she wasn't a baby when her mother's gift scurried loudly in its cage.

Slowly, Sakura looked on the table, where her eyes were greeted with a spacious bamboo cage. Inside it was a orangey-brown creature with a puffy tail. The younger Haruno's eye twitched.

"A… squirrel?" she asked skeptically, approaching and inspecting the creature to see that it had some sort of plant-like attachment. On impulse, the girl reached into the cage to remove and look at it, pleasantly surprised that the rodent didn't flee from her touch. If anything, it seemed enamored with her.

"Isn't it cute, Sakura?" her mother asked, unaware of the scene that was about to unfold with the leaf in her daughter's hands.

At first, Sakura didn't believe her eyes at all. The leaf had begun to decompose, and some of the symbols had smeared, but she could still make out the message. Bewildered, she stifled a scream with her hand.

'_**I'm still here.'-Naruto**_

* * *

Author's note: I didn't update yesterday, some of you may have noticed. I took my ACT instead.


	30. Not Crazy

Disclaimer: Ino isn't my creation, either.

* * *

Sakura's mother had watched as her daughter's eyes widened in terror upon looking at the seemingly harmless leaf. Her face went white as a sheet in the Hyuuga mansion as she scrunched it up in her hand, little bits of the edges drifting out of her grip.. While at once both baffled and alarmed, the older woman also managed to catch her daughter during the fainting spell that followed.

The squirrel went haywire in the cage, darting up and down with the intensity of the atmosphere around him. Mrs. Haruno couldn't help but look up at the creature. The whole situation had seemed less than scary until that leaf came into play. Sakura's mother had at first just thought the leaf was like a cute identification tag. Now, as the aforementioned piece of plant matter fell to the ground, she couldn't help but look at it.

At first, the words didn't phase the woman at all; she had heard about Naruto's death, of course, but as she had never really been a staunch hater or supporter of the jinchuuriki's existence, she really hadn't reacted much at all.

The leaf was no longer a coherent message after Sakura's instinctive crush; to the contrary, it looked almost as harmless as it was possible to be, causing the pink-haired mother of team seven's sole female member to worry about her daughter a great deal.

Sakura stirred in her mother's arms. "Mom…?" she asked, suddenly certain that the last ten minutes had been a dream until she laid her eyes on the leaf her mother had placed on the counter. Having seen the object, Sakura screamed again and scrambled out of her mother's embrace, her hair standing on end.

"What's the matter, Sakura?! What did you see?" her mother asked gently, not able to hide her concern for her child's mental health. Indeed, the young girl's brain was having a hard time functioning, and it took all of her guts to keep herself composed.

In a show of intelligence not atypical of Sakura's brain, the kunoichi bolted past her mother to gather both the cage containing the squirrel and the leaf it had held. She had no idea what was going on, to be sure, but she did have some evidence on her person right then, and there were several people she knew could help her get to the bottom of what was at hand.

"Mom, I'm going to visit Ino!" she announced, at first looking like she had eaten something unpleasant. She might have been at odds with the blonde female, but with the situation as it was, she needed her childhood friend's help.

Sakura didn't even bother putting her shoes back on when she left her house, despite her mother's bewildered protests. The squirrel bounced within the cage, which she had unceremoniously tossed over her back.

* * *

Dusk was a busy time in Konoha. Many villagers came home from their various farms and businesses to make last minute stops in the marketplace. The ANBU even wandered into town to partake of their evening meals in various street shops and vendors. There was a healthy amount of noise and laughter flying through the air, and friends basked in groups by the street with their suppers, reminiscing. The early summer evening was a mundane thing, really. Of course, that was until the barefooted Haruna bolted through the streets like a woman possessed with a squirrel in a cage on her back.

The stares were inevitable, but after she had left the main dinner crowd's field of vision, most of them just shook their heads and attributed the strange actions of the girl on 'ninja behavior'. They couldn't really be blamed for that assessment, however. A lot of the more powerful ninja in the village had their signature quirks, such as public reading of porn or insane gusto for the stupidest things.

* * *

Ino had been kept busy with her new schedule as a ninja, which she had balanced with her job at the flower shop. All-in-all, every nigh saw her exhausted and antisocial. Her father had promised her that this was a normal trend of genin life, and that it would get easier soon, but she missed having the energy to do her favorite recreational activities outside her home.

Her thoughts rarely ever had the time to dwell on Sakura anymore, but when Ino had heard about Naruto, she had felt a quick stir of pity. That, however, faded when she continued her spree of hard working.

On that night in particular, Ino was gratefully drinking stew at her parents table, her body finally recovering from Asuma's drills earlier that day. Her mother had briefly started a conversation that she had contributed to, but all-in-all, the evenings were all the same anymore.

The pattern of her nightlife changed abruptly the moment there was a loud series of pounds on the door. Ino startled and choked on her stew while her mother went to fetch the door. After a few pounds on her own throat, the fish came loose from Ino's airway.

"I need to see Ino!" Sakura's voice carried through the dwelling, causing the poor Ino to nearly choke a second time.

"We're eating dinner right now, Sakura," Mrs. Yamanaka informed the uninvited guest politely, choosing not to comment on Sakura's bedraggled appearance.

Ino listened carefully, unsure of whether or not she should leave her meal just yet. A part of her brain screamed with arrogance, condemning Sakura for being so rude, but somewhere else, Ino's maternal instints were stirring. There was something in Sakura's voice that sounded desperate.

"Ma'am, please…," Sakura countered, huffing from the effort of her sprint,"-it's an emergency."

Those words had Ino at the door within fractions of a second, barely containing her compasion with a sneer. She had heard that Sakura hadn't been doing well, but she hadn't expected to see her look so, well, unfabulous.

Sakura's pink hair flew in every which direction, the hiatae on her head having slip to an angle. That wasn't what caught Ino's attention, though. There was a squirrel on her former best friend's back, and the girl's eyes were wild.

"Ino!" Sakura greeted pleadingly, and Ino nodded to her mother, who left to return to her meal.

"Forehe- I mean Sakura," Ino corrected herself before insulting the obviously vulnerable kunoichi standing before her, "What is this emergency that would cause you to run barefooted with an animal on your back?"

Sakura grabbed her rival's hand and shoved the abused leaf onto it, causing the young Yamanaka to reward her with a dubious expression.

"…A dying leaf?" she asked patiently, sure there was more of an explanation, but not entirely sure she wanted to hear it.

"What kind of leaf is it, Ino?" Sakura asked, obviously intent on this detail.

Ino just stared for a minute before asking, "Are you sure this couldn't wait until after dinner?"

Sakura shook her head and pressed onto the foliage now in Ino's outstretched palm. "Just look at it, please!" she begged.

In response to Sakura's plea, Ino turned the leaf over and studied it carefully. It had seen a lot of action, crumbling here and there, but what caught her attention most were the scribbles adorning the center. With all the folding, they were impossible to make out, but at one point they must have been writing. Ino smirked despite herself.

"What, did your secret admirer send you a mysterious message? You probably want to make sure it's not poison ivy, huh?"

"This isn't a joking matter!" Sakura shouted suddenly, causing her fellow kunoichi to gulp at the sudden hostility. "I need to know where this leaf comes from!"

Ino rounded on the pink-haired girl in a flash. "I won't tell you until you tell me WHY this is such an emergency!"

"IT'S A MESSAGE FROM NARUTO!" Sakura snapped, allowing the puzzled brain of her current companion to piece together.

"Where did you get this, Sakura?" Ino asked with a hint of pity, now, causing even more of a rise out of Sakura, who was turning red and pointed at the squirrel she was holding over her back with her free hand.

"So, let me get this straight… your dead teammate sent you a messenger squirrel with a leaf?" Ino asked, careful not to let her face or voice waver in any way as she repeated the information she'd received back to its source.

Sakura put her free hand to her face now, aware of how stupid she sounded.

"Please tell me you don't think that squirrel _is_ Naruto," Ino implored, a little worried when Sakura just shrugged with a rapidly slouching posture. The squirrel, on the other had, looked at Ino expectantly.

Ino, for her part, felt a stirring of pity. Whether or not someone had played such a cruel trick on Sakura or if she just lost her mind was about to be decided, but Sakura broke through the judgement center's of her former friend's consciousness.

"Just… Ino.. The leaf."

Ino looked at the leaf one more time. Whether it was out of compassion or memories of better times, she decided to fulfill Sakura's request. It wasn't a hard piece of matter to identify for someone who'd worked in a flower store all their lives.

Resigned, Ino finished her inspection and gave the leaf back to Sakura, who waited on her words like a puppy for dinner.

"It's from a Star Drop bush, native to the Land of Waves."

Whatever the reason, that was the answer Sakura had seemed to want to hear. The sides of her mouth threatened to form a smile as she nodded her thanks to Ino and darting off and leaving the Yamanaka dazed and alone in the doorway.

"What the hell?"

* * *

Author's note: Whoo! Hot off the presses!


	31. The Odiferous Truth

Disclaimer: This is a fanfiction site, so I'm a little useless.

* * *

The Copy-Ninja Kakashi Hatake had not been expecting the resounding flurry of knocks on his door. As of late, only a few people would dare touch the wood on his staircase, let alone have the guts to knock more than three times in an erratic rhythm.

Kakashi snorted in disdain from his position on his windowsill, the night sky showing through. Whomever was intruding on his sanctuary was highly impatient, and he, as always, was inclined to think it was the man who had deemed him an 'eternal rival'. Fairly confident in this assumption, he didn't even bother leaving the perch on which he brooded. Without any concern for courtesy, Kakashi faced his front door.

"Go the hell away." the elite shinobi stated, once again without much emotion or drive behind it. He waited for a second, thinking he heard the sound of departing footsteps before the knocking came again with more persistence.

He sighed and rubbed his temple, but couldn't ignore the sound. "Fine, fine. I'm coming."

It was with great annoyance that Kakashi opened his door to greet his visitor. What he hadn't anticipated, however, was that he would find himself at eye-level with a bushy orange squirrel. Before he had the time to recover from that surprise, however, a sweaty hand tugged at his sleeve, obliging him to look down.

If the sight of the thick-tailed rodent had caught him off guard in any way, that was nothing compared to the ragged picture of Sakura looking up at him with an emotion he just couldn't pinpoint. She was dirty, windblown, barefooted, and carrying a cage half her height on her back. That was the sort of mental image that just didn't go away.

"Sakura…?" he asked dubiously, not entirely sure of how he should respond. While being a jonin prepared you for many things, a wild-eyed girl with a squirrel was not one of them. Within the cage, the animal in question began bolting around energetically.

"Kakashi-sensei, look at this!" his pink-haired student panted, producing the leaf that she had been carrying in her only pocket. It was in a sad state, to be sure, but it wouldn't contain obvious significance even if it were freshly plucked.

Her teacher stared at the object, not even bothering to take it. He looked from the leaf to the person holding it, and back to the leaf.

"I don't know what you're trying to accomplish here, Sakura," he admitted, scratching his gray hair, "-but if you would like to elaborate, this might work a bit better."

Sakura's shoulders sagged. It was going to be a long night, as she had absolutely no way of being able to explain the situation without sounding completely insane. "Maybe I should come in," she said calmly, and though Kakash looked like he had second thoughts about granting this request, he allowed her into his house anyway.

To his surprise, the Haruno didn't immediately allow her eyes to wander. She didn't snoop or comment on any of his things, which he found refreshing. If a man left a few things out, he left a few things out. Besides, his apartment wasn't anything out of the ordinary; for a jonin, his house was as bare as could be expected. There were a few pictures here and there, and a few basic field guides in a shelf with some of is Icha Icha books, but aside from that, there wasn't much to even bother naming.

The former ANBU led his pupil to his dining table, where she immediately sat down and placed the cage she had been lugging behind her. He watched silently as the twelve-year-old once again produced the leaf and set it on the center of the wooden surface before him. Once again, he wasn't entirely sure what she was getting at, but he hadn't had anything productive planed for the night anyway. He just hoped this didn't turn out to be something stupid, like an anonuncement of a newly-found philosophy on Sakura's part.

In a fluid motion, Sakura's now-dusty hand motioned to the leaf. "This," she began, her tone very serious and guarded, "-was attached to a squirrel my mother bought at some time today."

Kakashi didn't say anything, he merely crossed his arms and nodded.

"I thought it was just a cute little collar or something, but when I uncurled it, I found that it was actually a handwritten message…"

"…and?" Kakashi asked, bored already. Of course, no sooner had he asked for her to make her story interesting did the twist reveal itself.

"-it was from Naruto, sensei."

That caught the Hatake's attention, to be sure. He went from reclining and crossing his arms to lurching forward to grab the leaf on the table, which he did. Of course, when he tried to read it, it was to no avail. The leaf had been extremely crumpled, but it looked like it might have contained a few recognizable

etchings until very recently.

"I can't read it," the instructor deadpanned, causing the pink-haired girl's face to fall.

It wouldn't have been an immoral act to have decided that Sakura was delusional then and there, but for some reason, Kakashi couldn't label her as such just yet. The whole message could have bee a prank, but if there was even the slightest chance that this extremely improbable turn of events could be real, there was no way that he could ignore it and feel human.

"It said 'I'm still here', Sensei. He signed it, too."

Kakashi peered at her with his stoic face. "Are you sure this isn't some kind of joke?"

"No, Sensei, I'm not, but I can't see why someone would play a prank like that, anyway. There'd be no motive."

The masked ninja nodded, "True." he conceded, "-but was there any other proof that you could use to validate this argument in the presence of the Sandaime?"

Sakura pointed at the leaf again with conviction.

"This comes from a plant found in the Land of Waves, and by the stage of its decomposition, I can deduce that it is under a week old."

"Are you absolutely sure of this?" Kakashi urged her gently, his eye not visible from the new angle he had chosen.

"No, but that's why I came to see you. You were a hunter ninja once, weren't you?" she asked, her voice now quiet, a precursor to the silence that permeated through Kakashi's apartment for a whole few minutes while Kakashi prodded the leaf and pretty much wallowed in though. Sometimes, Sakura felt he was scrutinizing her, but quickly dismissed the sensation as paranoia.

Kakashi was having issues of doubt within his own mind. The chances of Naruto being alive, let alone being able to send his teammates a message on a squirrel were so astronomical that disbelief could be very easily relied on to show the error of his ways. On the other hand, if it was even remotely possible, the Hatake wanted to sample the forbidden vestige of hope, which drew ever nearer the longer he tried to argue with himself.

The Haruno was caught off-guard when her teacher finally did turn to her, once again unreadable. While he uttered no verdict, he still used his voice.

"Sakura," he said, shifting to a more confident stance, "-this may sound strange, but do you have anything of Naruto's on you right now? If so, I need it."

Sakura hesitated for only a moment before reaching into her bag and producing the blank envelopes, which Kakashi took and wiggled between his fingers. Sakura worried for a moment that her teacher may ask where she acquired the packages, but to her relief he didn't question her at all. Instead, Kakashi picked up the leaf and set it down on the floor.

With a few precise movements and gestures, a brown pug materialized at its' master's feet. Sakura jumped, but she had expected something along those lines.

"Pakkun," Kakashi addressed the fully-clothed canine, "I need you tell me if the scent on the envelopes and the scent on the leaves are the same."

The dog nodded and immediately took a whiff of both before speaking, which startled Sakura all the more.

"They do bear traces of the same scent, Kakashi." the dog declared. His tail wagged limply when Kakashi hurriedly scratched him behind his ears and retrieved both the envelopes and the leaf that had been examined.

While Sakura mulled over what the dog's words meant, a change took over Kakashi's mood and attitude in general. The jonin practically charged around the room to look for a clean vest while still holding Sakura's 'evidence', knocking a few carefully-organized piles of weapons and the occasional picture frame to the side.

"Sakura, I suggest you go home and clean yourself up. I'll meet you in front of the Hokage's mansion in about two hours," Kakashi instructed, causing the hope that had until that moment been guarded within Sakura's chest to explode. "-and I suggest you leave the squirrel at home this time."

Sakura beamed and left without a word. _Two hours_. The kunoichi was so pleased that she forgot one important detail; Kakashi was always late.

* * *

Author's note: For those of you who begin to realize the Ooc characteristics of what I've done here, I have something very important to say. I DID IT OUT OF LOVE. Also, I need you guys to know that daily updates are hard on the fingers.

Thanks for the reviews thus far! They keep me going.


	32. Into the Abyss

Disclaimer: This is not canon Naruto. In fact, this almost classifies as crack.

* * *

Sakura carefully avoided alerting her mother to her presence upon her return home that evening(something her ninja training helped her with immensely), and she immediately got to work grooming herself. The squirrel's cage was placed neatly on her bed, and for whatever reason, she gave it a few sunflower seeds she had been saving for a rainy day in one of her less desirable dresser drawers.

It ate happily, but as Sakura started to back away from the cage, her hair caught on the latch. It had done so several times that evening, but the kunoichi had been in far too much of a rush before to be distracted by it. Now, however, was a different story entirely.

While untangling the pink cascades from the slats, she couldn't help but think of the trouble her mane had caused her thus far. In the last month alone, her hairstyle had caused her to be apprehended by bandits, caught no less than twelve times in forest boughs, chewed on by livestock, and waste a great deal of time in the mornings teasing it into position.

In that instant, Sakura Haruno made a life-changing decision(for a twelve-year-old girl, anyway). After mussing through her vanity for a pair of scissors, Sakura bent her head over her waste-bin and proceeded to give herself a haircut.

The locks fell in pieces, and Sakura steeled herself against any emotional attachment to the inorganic material spawned of he scalp. They had once contained her hopes; hopes of romance and marriage, those things that she had thought she wanted. Now they were just dead cells being removed from her life in clumps. That's all hair was, really.

While girls had always argued the matter was one of beauty, when Sakura thought of the issue from a practical perspective, the mass on her head wasn't very useful in large quantities. She wasn't a flower; she didn't need to attract insects(which her pink hair did from time to time), and she wasn't even old enough to be married if she wished to. On a similar note, the rumor that Sasuke liked long hair was probably just speculation. In all of two and a half months, she had yet to see him give a second glance at anyone, let alone those females that melted at the sight of him. Her mother had mentioned this fact.

"Men like a challenge," her mother had always told her, though Sakura hadn't been very attentive at the time. It was strange how adults often had such great advice, but the possible benefactor of their words wouldn't often learn the true value of their wisdom until after learning the truth of a matter the hard way. The truth in this matter was very hard to accept, but it wasn't something that she wasn't prepared for after Sasuke slammed the door in her face for the hundredth time a few days earlier.

Sasuke didn't care for anyone, let alone Sakura. _Or Ino_, Sakura noted with a smirk before getting ready for her late-night stroll to the sound of a happy pet.

While Kakashi may have had the tendency to be tardy, the unpunctuality that caused Sakura to wait an extra hour in front of the Hokage's office wasn't his fault-well, not entirely. The last remaining student of the Yondaime was inclined to make a few stops before reaching their designated meeting place.

His meeting with Sasuke had been brief, as all the jonin had been forced to do was knock heavily on the door and tell the Uchiha to get up, get dressed, and come with him, no questions asked. For a guy, the black-haired genin took a long time to get ready. He still had nothing on a girl's required time slot, though, and was ready within twenty minutes. Now flanked by Sasuke, Kakashi fought with his sense of morality as to whether or not he should make the next stop.

Iruka had been a bit unstable as of late, and in the past week, the only two times he had come face-to-face with the man had ended with unconventional threats of death whispered behind a slightly crazed smile. Kakashi hadn't thought the schoolteacher capable of such sadism, but the surfacing aggression didn't make the shinobi too entirely comfortable about confronting the chuunin with anything, even if it was information that would alleviate Iruka's emotional maladies. Even good news could become null and void if the messenger is mangled or forced to kill the recipient in self-defense.

Tact and communicational skills would be vital if he made the kind decision to rouse Iruka out of his misery, which he did after wrestling with the risks. Iruka wouldn't pose any danger to Kakashi; the man was only an elementary teacher, after all. Having decided this, Kakashi pulled out a slip of paper and immediately scrawled out a note.

* * *

"Sensei, I don't see why you can't just go and give Iruka this message yourself." Sasuke grumbled to the bush where his teacher was squatting, pulling the damned orange book out again. How he read it was a detail the Uchiha didn't know. It was pitch black out.

"Just do it; as a ninja, you'll be performing these sorts of tasks a lot. Consider it training." came the voice from the bush.

Sasuke's sour expression took extreme measures and curdled. He knew better than to argue with the older man, but he wasn't happy about the task with which he was charged. It was a menial errand, and Sasuke wasn't even permitted to read the damned note.

"Fine." Sasuke conceded, something that took a toll on your dignity when you appeared to be admitting defeat to a bush.

* * *

Iruka slept like he did on any other evening, his face peaceful until his eyes were snapped open by the sound of three knocks. Iruka took a minute to gather what remained of his wits about him. The twenty-three-year old was in his nightclothes, but if the time of night was indicative of an emergency, the man didn't bother to get dressed. He did put on his sandals though, something that was only logical when the sounds of crushed glass(the pieces had once been a lamp) accompanied his footsteps to the door.

Iruka cracked his door open to assess the situation and identify his visitor, who turned out to be a former student who looked less-than-thrilled about something.

"Sasuke, why are you here?" the teacher stammered, having expected a messenger from the hokage or something of the like.

The addressed student spared Iruka a glance and held up the parchment he was supposed to deliver, prompting Iruka to open his door fully.

"Come in, then." the chuunin sighed, motioning into his dark abode. Sasuke took a furtive first step inside before Iruka's voice sounded out again,"-and watch your step. I've been… redecorating."

The moment the lights came on, Sasuke was left with a vision of destruction that went far beyond even the furthest reached of the concept of redecoration. With the exception of a few fixtures built into the walls and the bed Iruka slept on, the entire apartment was a wreck. From what must have once been a curtain rod to the ripped remains of scrolls and books, the carnage was something that until very recently seemed beyond Iruka's scope of ability. Sasuke could barely constrain himself, and he suddenly became painfully aware of why Kakashi had sent him in his stead.

_That bastard._

Iruka cleared a place on the floor beside a table that had been ripped cleanly in half and motioned for Sasuke to sat down, which he did. The teacher didn't offer him a glass of water for obvious reasons and sat down.

"What's this about, then?" Iruka asked, extending his arm to retrieve the piece of paper from Sasuke, who was looking very longingly at the door.

Iruka looked at the paper trough his adjusting eyes. He looked at the paper long and hard. After the first bout of reading, he rubbed his eyes and looked at the paper again. Following this, Iruka pinched himself and scrutinized Sasuke, who felt himself prepare to flee if the need arose.

A very eerie smile crossed Iruka's face while he crumpled the note in his right hand. "Is your sensei outside hiding, by any chance, Sasuke?"

Sasuke needed no buttering up to betray the man that sent him into Iruka's stronghold of terror and nodded.

"Yeah. He's in the bushes to the left when you exit."

"I think I need to have a word with him. Did you read this, by any chance?" Iruka inquired, tossing the rumpled heap and catching it. Sasuke quickly shook his head, hoping that was the rely Iruka had wanted. Fortunately, it was, and Sasuke was spared.

"Ah, well, let's just say he has some explaining to do."

It was the explaining to Iruka that took over two hours, because Iruka first had to demand answers. He demanded them violently; sometimes with the help of a stick or two. While none of the blows were strong enough to seriously injure the oldest of the three ninja present(though not for lack of trying), he did arrive at the gate of the Hokage's manor with a significant amount of bruises and scrapes.

Sakura was irate by his tardiness, but decided he had suffered enough when she saw the swelling and the now-dressed Iruka smirking behind him. To his credit, Sasuke showed very little signs of trauma from what he had witnessed. The Uchiha still didn't know what was going on, either, but at least he took it like a man.

After a quick exchange, the four entered the premises of their leader's fortress.

* * *

Author's note: For those of you who threaten to tie me to my chair, I need to inform you of something. My chair is a curved stool that is too high for my computer. In order to type, I have to perch on it like a bird/gorilla. Were I to be tied to it, my bones would only last as long as my abs could hold my spine in place. There would be no updates were that to happen, so try harder.


	33. The Good, The Bad, and The Elderly

Disclaimer: The universe of Naruto is not my own. The words I use and the order I use them are, though. At least, I think they are.

* * *

Though it could be argued, it was a common opinion that the most powerful man in all of Konoha was the Hokage. Over the years, the state of the fire lord often changed, but there was something to be said when the person viewed as the nation's most talented shinobi was an elderly man.

Sarutobi was indeed getting on in years, and as a result, he often slept longer hours than he had in his prime. People usually respected his need for sleep, however, as there were perks attached to the title of 'Fire Shadow'. Only during emergencies were his precious underlings allowed to wake him in the night. There were nights when the old man went to bed aware that he was probably going to be prematurely roused at some point. Political crises, natural disasters, and urgent calls for help from his populace were not to be ignored. Still, he hadn't been expecting his night aide to burst into his chambers in the wee hours in the morning on that particular night.

Sarutobi awoke to his employee's calm declarations of the need for the fire shadow to wake up. He gave no details of the situation, but that wasn't at all abnormal. As an aide to the hokage, there were many things you were not to probe. If there was something you were meant to know, you often told that you had the authorization to be clued in on it. Kakashi Hatake had given no such indication, so the assistant hadn't asked for the details. Instead, he instructed the former ANBU and his current entourage to wait in the hokage's office until he was ready for them.

Sasuke sat very quietly in the four minutes they waited, but his gaze constantly flew back to Kakashi, who had been withholding information for too long. What was this even about? It was obviously important, but the Uchiha couldn't be blamed for his curiosity. He'd only been dragged out of bed and forced to play telephone between two grown men without any indication of the reasoning behind the requests.

He thought of asking Sakura, who was sitting with a solemn expression, but aside from whatever had prompted her sudden haircut and Iruka or Kakashi sitting on either side of her, the boy thought the better of pressing the issue(especially with the way Iruka was fidgetting).

For an adult, patience was a key element to success. As a teacher, the virtue held more value than gold. Iruka knew this, but he couldn't stop himself from glancing at the door. Four minutes to a brain trained to worry and obsess like the chuunin's, the span crossed the twenty-minute threshold.

Any questions of punctuality aside, the hokage still made his inevitable appearance, haggard but dignified. The man gave a nod of respect to those ninja in his office before slowly proceeding to sit behind his desk.

"So… you wanted to see me, Kakashi?" Sarutobi asked, folding his hands behind the crystal ball adorning his desk's surface. The sound made a slight swish in an atmosphere that could have very easily given witness to a pin dropping.

"Yes, sir," the addressed replied with respect, rising to his feet from his makeshift-chair on the ground. The gray-haired ninja strode towards the desk purposefully and put his hands in his pockets. For someone facing an emergency, Kakashi kept a cool head. Though, the hokage had to note, the man's face looked like it had taken a bit of abuse. Kakashi didn't often sport bruises in such a way.

"As of last evening, Sakura received a message that was signed by Naruto Uzumaki."

The old man's face shot up attentively, and Sasuke suddenly looked like he had been informed of a betrothal to a hedgehog. Kakashi took no notice of these reactions and simply dropped Sakura's crumpled leaf on the table.

Sarutobi gently picked it up and nudged it open to fnd that anything that may have been written on it was crumbling away, but also realized that if it was written on organic material, the message was probably less than a week old.

"It was tied to a squirrel, sir." Kakashi informed the man, who had suddenly noticed an orange hair in the mess. The hokage blinked and examined it after Kakashi's comment before shaking his head with a chuckle.

Sasuke, if anyone had been paying attention, looked like his betrothal had been cancelled and replaced with a feast in honor of Itachi.

"Kakashi, you do realize this isn't legible, don't you?" Sarutobi asked, waiting for the informational gap to be filled.

"Sakura informed me that it had originally read as 'I am here'." the masked ninja replied.

"Ah," Sarutobi stroked his chin thoughtfully before peering up again at Team 7's leader from beneath his hat. "-and you've checked the credibility of this claim?"

Kakshi pulled out Sakura's envelopes and let them clatter to the table, where once again the hokage reached for them. They were sealed and unremarkable, though by holding them to the light, the leader of Konohagure's shinobi saw a few bills and lists. Once again, Naruto's grocery stipend didn't seem very informative, but Kakashi immediately clarified the purpose of the packages the fire shadow was holding.

"They both contain Naruto's scent, something that Pakkun was able to sense on the leaf as well."

The hokage gently placed the articles back down on his desk with bewilderment. "You're sure about this, then."

"Yes, sir." Kakashi once again responded.

Sasuke Uchiha's face lost all trace of emotion but shock yet again.

Sarutobi's wrinkled face curved into a smile before the man let out a hearty laugh or two. His wizened eyes sparkled while he reached into his desk and pulled out a few leaves of paper and began filling them in with a small brush.

"This isn't going to be very easy to explain to the council, you know. They probably won't be convinced with the evidence you presented. As an a former ANBU operative, you probably know this quite well."

Kakashi nodded dully, but Sarutobi's scribbling grew more intense. Iruka, seeing the gap in conversation, made to stand up, but the hokage interrupted his question before the teacher even had a chance to ask it.

"I am not to allow the forming and dispatch of retrieval parties without first gaining the consent of the village council, Iruka." The chuunin's hopes began to melt, "-but there are circumstances in which I can ignore protocol; such is my ability as hokage."

More ink flew through the air, and Kakashi bent over his work with his visible eye intrigued.

"I'd like to send a Hyuuga with you, but the last thing they'll want is to get up in the middle of the night. They've been irritable since the eldest daughter locked herself in a closet." he babbled, his voice becoming lower in volume before he continued, "-but if I the Hyuuga were my family, I probably would do the same. Clever girl, that Hinata."

_Hinata._ Sakura's brain immediately identified the name and the person it belonged to within her memories. Her shy classmate who was always shooting looks of adoration at Naruto, right? That girl had been the very definition of weird, but not just because of her taste in men. She wasn't a bad person, though. _A Hyuuga, huh? Funny that I never noticed._

"Sir?" Sasuke asked, unaware of when he had decided that he should use his somewhat inert vocal chords. "What the hell is going on?"

"Pack up your things," the hokage announced, splattering a little bit of wet pigment on his hands as he shoved a form towards Kakashi, who picked it up with care and presented it to his students and Iruka.

"As of right now, the four of you are on a mission of great importance to this village. You are to retrieve Naruto Uzumaki with speed and as little conflict as you can manage."

"-but what about the council?" Sakura asked, unable to delay her curiosity.

All eyes fell on the hokage, who had now placed a pipe between his lips and grinned. "This old man is stubborn you know. If they have a problem with my decisions, too bad. I'd like to see them replace me," he chuckled dryly before saying something that puzzled both Sakura and Sasuke immensely. "-that boy has served this village by simply existing for years, now. I'd say it's about time we return the favor, eh?"

The black-haired shinobi felt the hokage's comment seep under his skin. While he had made many judgments of Naruto, none of them had the boy in a place of great importance to the village. If anything, he was just another ninja, his strengths and weaknesses fluctuating as he made his way into adolescence. Sasuke and Naruto were equals; why would Sarutobi's words suggest otherwise? Before he had a chance to demand an explanation, however, the hokage instructed everyone but Kakashi to leave the office, an order he fulfilled grudgingly.

* * *

"Kakashi," the Sandaime's voice was no longer as light-hearted as it had been for the last set of instructions. "You and I are both aware of the risks this mission may run. This could be a trap. I don't know how, when, or why someone would use Naruto as bait, but you can't ever be sure of good news in this world."

"Understood, sir." Kakashi bowed slightly and made to leave, but was stopped just short of the door.

"Oh, and Kakashi…,"

"Hmm?" the jonin hummed, turning his head slightly.

"If things get to dangerous, come back. I'm sure you and I can both agree that another death wouldn't be something to look forward to."

The Hatake didn't really need to say anything to show he had taken those words to heart. The man was sick of all the godforsaken guilt that such burdens entailed. Out of respect, however, the jonin nodded.

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Author's note: Sick of my little typos and grammatical errors? BETA READERS, here is where you come in. I think I'll need a crack team, really, but I would really like to remove all these mistakes from all 38 chapters. Contact me if you're interested. Oh, and about yesterday... I was too tired to update. It happens to the best of us, you know.

If anyone's wondering, Naruto's back in the next exciting episode of Fanfiction Ball Z.


	34. Punishment for Good Behavior

Disclaimer: I like stating the obvious.

* * *

Zabuza Momochi mentally scolded himself. He should have known it would come to this; they'd stayed in the land of Waves too long. Regardless of any precautions they may have taken, ANBU were clever and not easy to deceive.

The enemies he knew to be hiding in the foliage now were no amateurs; the mizukage would be insane to send the inexperienced young after his formidable hide. He had once helped shape the ANBU into what they were, but that was to his disadvantage as they would know his trail well. There were three of them, he sensed, though he wasn't aware if they knew he was aware of them yet. Chances were they did, but he gave no sign of recognition just in case.

Sitting on his stump, Zabuza stared off into space. Haku and the noisy kid had gone off to train some time ago, and unless the latter of which had tried to escape again, chances were they would return very soon. This alarmed the Demon of the Mist, as he wasn't sure if the foreign genin would screw things up somehow if he appeared. As gifted a student as the blonde appeared to be, he couldn't help but remember just how easily defeated Haku had reported him to be.

One of the hunter ninja shifted in the leaves, prompting Zabuza to catch a glimpse of what was most likely a female from the corner of his eye. The kunoichi crouched down, steeling herself to pounce. Zabuza brought himself to wonder exactly when his opponents were going to make their move. It wasn't that he was afraid of the squad, but he always had to be cautious, and it was often unwise to make the first move in the ninja world.

Seconds stretched into minutes without any sign of an attack, and Zabuza's adrenaline system began to run on a buzz. Is hand sporadically clenched the hilt of his sword as he strained his ears to maintain his vigilance before a completely new sound pierced the atmosphere and caused the Momochi to turn his head and reveal himself to an ANBU.

A laugh drifted through the air, sounding bitter and out of place. Zabuza cursed at the blonde who had undoubtedly been the source of the noise in his mind. The ANBU were on the move, having seen that Zabuza now knew they were there. The professional killers would waste no time with doing away with one of their own kind, and two of them dropped down from their various verdant perches.

Zabuza grimaced beneath the gauze covering his face and grudgingly lifted up his sword. He realized that Haku and Naruto would be arriving soon, but his own livelihood came first.

The two masked ninja who had confronted him took out their own weapons in response, the taller of which removing a scythe from a holster while the shorter handled a katana with expertise. The Momochi immediately responded by creating a dense fog with his jutsu, causing the immediate forest to be filled with the thick mist. It would serve as both a distraction to the enemy, as well as a signal to both his student and their hostage.

The ANBU were only slightly fazed by the fog, as they had been trained to do battle under many circumstances. A slash sent the scythe of one of the Momochi's aggressors out to parry, the blow having given away one of the Momochi's possible positions. Of course, a few moments and defensive maneuvers later, it became apparent that Zabuza had cloned himself several times. The ANBU tensed their guard, but were by no means impressed, and the deadly battle dance commenced as both sides weaved, evaded, and attempted hack away at the other.

* * *

Naruto had trained especially hard that afternoon, mimicking every punch and kick Haku had shown him. They were basic taijitsu, but Naruto had still tried to commit them to memory, as they were different fro the base curriculum of the martial arts Konohagure offered. In between his brainstorming for escape plans, he pondered the usefulness of his new skills. The two jutsu were useful, he was sure, but not if he didn't find a way to combine them with other things he learned. He mentioned these thoughts to his more lenient captor, and Haku had smiled.

"Why do you bother asking me these things? If you can pull off your shadow clones while at the same time employing your sexy jutsu, how am I supposed to add to your obscure thoughts?"

Naruto let of a grudging laugh at this, though with the quiet afternoon air, the sound echoed into the forest. Haku listened to the echo and stopped walking completely. There was a reason the afternoon was so unusually quiet, and a reason his friend's voice had carries so well in the air.

"The birds have stopped singing," the mist ninja remarked, causing Naruto to stop his march.

"Well, s-o-r-r-y if I was being too loud, b-" Naruto began to insincerely apologize before his slightly-enhanced hearing picked up on it, too. It wasn't just the birds; there was this veil that had come over the forest. The remaining sounds of the forest became somewhat muffled, and the vision of the two boys became foggy.

Haku quickly processed what was happening as the jutsu-induced fog rolled over the in a wave.

"Master Zabuza!" the black-haired youth gasped before darting off.

Naruto Uzumaki wasn't the brightest being on the face of the earth, but even he was aware of the fact something had gone wrong for the rogue mist shinobi. He wondered if he could use the ruse as an escape before he remembered that he was hopelessly lost in the wilderness with nothing but the stars to guide him. Even then, there was always the chance that he would screw up as astronomy had never been his forte. Between these facts and his inability to do the anything but what was right, Naruto barreled after Haku before the teal-colored blurry form left his view entirely.

Haku didn't make it very far before the third ANBU made her appearance, her mask containing an elaborate swirl of pink paint between the eye-slits. The well-toned woman executed several jutsu in a matter of seconds, launching a wavering image of herself though Haku's body. Zabuza's young ward had reacted, of course, sending a flurry of senbon into the opponent before him, but they ghosted through her as she drifted through him.

_A mirage jutsu?!_

The areas of his body the hunter's image touched felt weak, slowing his movements with the stamina being leeched. Haku fell to his knees and would have been ended there and then if a strong pair of hands hefted him out of the way before the specter of the third hunter passed through the young kakkai genkai user again and vanished without a trace.

"Show yourself!" Haku's blonde savior shouted into the fog, his voice no longer echoing with the dampness hanging in Zabuza's jutsu-manufactured vapors. The melodic laughter of a woman who was probably in her early twenties greeted the jinchuriiki's hearing to the left. Naruto jumped out of the way as a flurry of bladed projectiles greeted the area he had previously inhabited before.

Haku struggled to his feet, but Naruto heard the next set of shuriken coming for the gentle shinobi and pulled him out of the way yet again. Haku's brain was in a haze, and though he was attempting to break out the ice mirrors, Naruto could tell he was struggling to do so. Seeing this vulnerability, Naruto hefted Zabuza's accomplice onto his back.

Te female ANBU couldn't believe how easy her job was becoming; she had been expecting more of a fight from the kid that had reportedly been traveling with their mark, but she hadn't expected him to be traveling with another. She didn't know how to thank her luck for the fact the two were already fatigued, either.

Now, one of the children was down and the other had hastened to protect him. It was foolish, really. In the world of the ninja elite, it was important to look out for one's self.

By placing Haku on his back, the blonde had made himself vulnerable by sacrificing the use of his hands. The spectacle was quite pitiful, and the masked woman allowed herself to gain an unhealthy measure of overconfidence as she prepared her nutrient-stealing jutsu yet again.

Naruto's bright blue eyes widened in shock as the woman's image materialized in another angle than he had anticipated. Within instants, the dangerous wisp flew throw his center, leaving the woman quite pleased with herself before she realized the boys hadn't fallen into a heap. Instead, they vanished in a puff of smoke that was barely noticeable in the dull fog.

She recovered from the shock quickly, however, and immediately went to work pinpointing them again. They weren't to interfere with her comrade's work, no matter how she managed the feat.

Naruto bolstered himself in the tree branch he had jumped to at the last possible moment, Haku gripping his shoulders until he could place his feet on a branch. The two didn't care speak, but both were rather inventive.

Haku gathered his energy and pulled a new handful of senbon from his robes, and Naruto soon overpopulated the tree with doppelgangers, half of which he modeled after Haku. The Uzumaki made a motion and sent a majority of the shadow clones running in various directions, their objectives being to lure their current adversary from their true location.

It took all of thirty seconds before the elite huntress found the first set of doppelgangers, and she dispatched the with ease. While she was mildly impressed with the cloning abilities being utilized, she was still quite good at her job.

Throughout the next few minutes, the brunette woman from the village Hidden in the Mist scoured the area, taking out the numerous groups of bunshin piece by piece. Eventually the clones would run out, she knew. Not even a kage could keep a steady output of chakra that intense.

Haku had taken advantage of Naruto's distractions to gain a defensive position, where he was able to repose just long enough to pull of his signature attacks if he needed to. Naruto, in the meantime, had been granted nonverbal permission to raid his ally's inventory of explosive tags, which he placed on his two remaining kunai carefully before putting a decent amount of distance between himself and Haku's perch.

Their plan was simple; Naruto would employ himself as a diversion while Haku waited for a precise moment to envelope the area in his bloodline abilities. This assignment was right up Naruto's alley, as he had plenty of experience as a diversion. If the sixty-eight failed escape plans he'd enacted were any indication, he'd had a lot of practice in the field as of late.

After making the preparations for their strategy, Naruto stood in the grass and began to holler a few mistruths that were extremely convincing at the time.

"YOU KILLED HIM, YOU BITCH!" the Uzumaki's voice shrieked, alerting the ANBU to his position while at the same time assigning him with a motive for carelessness. It wasn't too improbable for someone to have died as the aftereffect of her jutsu, and it wasn't unthinkable for a friend to become rash and bull-headed over such a loss. She smirked. Even if ANBU were good at sensing traps, they could be lulled into believing their opponents to be hot-blooded morons. Oh, the irony.

She was on the yodaime's sole offspring within ten seconds, hurling attacks and duplicating herself with mirages in the fog. The distance between them slowly closed, and Naruto began to realize that the woman was lapsing into her martial arts to compensate for the now-ineffective long-ranged tactics she was employing earlier.

Naruto ended up blocking and ducking a great deal over the next precious minutes, and had to concentrate very hard to not break his defenses. It was to his advantage that the kunoichi had only the minimal amount of training in close-ranged taijitsu, however, as he had been tired before the encounter had even occurred.

In this situation, there would be no flashy jutsus. Between the two of them, physical contact would be superior as a means of combat, as a jutsu would have required time to pull off. Both Naruto and the female he was facing became so engrossed in their own battle that neither realized it when ice mirrors surrounded their tussling forms.

The woman executed a spinning back kick, and Naruto bolted out of the way at the last second, suddenly aware that Haku had enclosed the space. A smile formed on the whiskered-cheeks of the genin as the ANBU began to realize what was happening. Before she could gain her bearings, however, she was assaulted with needles from all directions.

She wouldn't go down at first, standing stubbornly and batting a majority of the wooden senbon off before they could damage her greatly. At one point, the woman began to form some sort of counterattack, but Naruto had taken the initiative of bowling her over with his own weight, which served to occupy her long enough for Haku to make the final blow.

The woman died instantly, and though Naruto felt a small surge of guilt, he was immensely relieved when the whole ordeal was over.

* * *

Zabuza Momochi looked over his work. For having such high initial opinions of the opponents he had faced, they had been quite a disappointment in battle. With ruthless efficiency, the wanted criminal bent over his fallen foes and took whatever money or medical supplies they were carrying before scanning the area for his absent followers. To the closest thing Zabuza could feel to relief, Haku and the brat from Konoha were easy to find, the latter helping the former down from a tree while making quiet conversation.

Needless to say, Haku was elated with the fact Zabuza had emerged victorious and fussed over the wounds the older man had obtained, all the while being stared at by the prisoner.

"He saved my life, Master Zabuza," Haku indicated, causing the Uzumaki to feel a sinking sensation. Zabuza regarded the blonde with an appraising glare.

_Damn me and my morals, _Naruto gulped.

* * *

Author's note: Steven K, Skendall, please activate our connections so that the beta-ing may commence. For the rest of you, I hope this satisfies your need to know exactly what Naruto was up to.


	35. Rodent revealed Determination Steeled

Disclaimer: There's a chance Kishimoto would kill me for the contents of this chapter.

* * *

Kakashi Hatake was by no means impatient, but as anyone sharing his position, he thought it wise to leave before Konoha awoke at dawn. Iruka, on the other hand, was quite hasty and pushed the time of their departure up an hour or so. For Sasuke, complying with this schedule would present no drawbacks. There weren't many perks to being an orphan, but one of the few was the ability to come and go as you pleased.

Sakura had a bit of a harder time, as her mother was waiting by the door and worried sick. Apparently Ino had come by later that evening, and the results were predictably to the pink-haired girl's detriment The last thing the kunoichi needed was her family doubting her own mental stability. A great deal of precious time she could have spent packing was instead spent with hasty explanations. At first her pleas to leave quickly fell on deaf ears that believed her delusional, but after explaining things through the third time, her mother just sighed dejectedly and waved her off. Though she still doubted her daughter, the woman accepted her powerlessness in her daughter's decision to leave.

Sakura halted when she entered the room. The squirrel's cage was on her bed where she had left it, but the undeniable oddity lay in the fact the latch was open, and there was a lack of fuzzy creature therein. Now, while Sakura hadn't really wanted the pet, she wasn't really sure she should let it go so easily, and she doubted either Ino or her mother had the guts to stroll into her room and let the rodent roam free.

Sakura looked around her room for an explanation, but her window was shut, and her top dresser drawer was open the way she'd left it. The Haruno was squeezed for time, and though she wanted to pry into the mystery of the missing messenger, she had to let it slide in favor of the important packing she had to do.

After placing all of her necessities in her main bag, Sakura wandered into the kitchen to stock up on a few imperishable meals. What she didn't notice as the result of the errand was the missing rodent wandering into her bag by complete accident while doing something uncharacteristic of it's species. Indeed, the particular creature's life had reached a state of total upheaval ever since it had been caught by the Kyuubi's misfortunate container, the most notable of which involved perception.

The change was slow, but the touch of the boy in question had caused something odd to occur in the composition of the small animal's brain, starting to dissipate a haze that had dwelt in that very squirrel's brain for nearly two hundred years . It could be argued that perhaps the Uzumaki had injured the squirrel in some way, but as the effects were not detrimental, the squirrel himself would have to disagree; for you see, the squirrel had once been a powerful ninja summon, the Squirrel Lord Tsuoomi.

Tsuoomi didn't remember being the great summoning lord, of course. The state to which he had been reduced to was a divine punishment, you see. The once-powerful rodent spirit had broken a sacred rule by turning on the man who had summoned him. The man himself had revealed villainous intentions, but as a shinobi spirit, it was not his place to disagree. Tsuoomi had meant well, you see, he really had, but when an entire nation was at stake, those with good hearts acted rashly, and the end of the drama had left his master dead and forgotten, his plans never to come to fruition. Seeing his good intentions were present(and the fact that Ameratsu found Tsuoomi's tail adorable),the death penalty that often followed such an action was replaced with a much simpler solution: exile. Tsuoomi had taken the sentence with dignity, and was henceforth stripped of his knowledge of anything beyond squirrel instinct, but the details beyond a life of scavenging and scouring for nuts were beginning to come into focus.

While becoming both very confused and over stimulated, the animal was capable of thinking and acting autonomously. So, it was in that childlike state of curious wonder that the tree-dwelling creature had begun to play with the latch of it's cage.

The way objects moved when Sakura's new pet grasped them caused a thrill. Despite the fact the structure had always been attached to the rodent's hand, it hadn't been aware of it's blessed opposable thumbs for centuries.

_Up._

His former voice directed his paws from the back of his head, allowing the wooden rod that had once held the cage to fall away.

_Out._

The squirrel had darted out of his prison to the spacious room of the pink-haired kunoichi. His black eyes darted from one object to another; he sniffed the air. He continued doing such sensory tests until his small furry ears detected the Haruno girl's approaching footsteps. Primal instincts took over yet again, and the once-powerful creature dashed to hide, ending up in an open drawer.

He had watched with wild eyes as the human looked at his cage with puzzlement and stepped around the room, prodding and moving several objects. The female made several dejected sounds before reaching directly past his tail and removing a pink, frilly garment from her dresser and placing it in a bag.

_Ooooooooh._ Tsuoomi's eyes focused on a particularly shiny object in a pocket outside the baggage. It was sharp, metal, and round at the top. _Kunaiiii._

The girl left the room after filling the sack with several things no girl could be without, and Tsuoomi was compelled to examine it. That being said, the creature had made use of it's naturally-agile body and had swiftly leapt from the drawer it had taken refuge in to the side of the kunoichi's bag.

He spent a few seconds staring at the kunai before another shiny object caught his attention, though this one was slightly under the duffle flap. Tsuoomi was not deterred, however, and darted under the cloth to ultimately fall into the Haruno's belongings moments before she retuned with an entirely separate bag tied to her waist.

The human girl sighed from outside the cloth shell, murmuring something about hoping the 'thing' found food, but Tsuoomi was less-than aware of that. It was all he could do to stifle a squeak when the human slung the bag he inhabited over her back.

So it was with the all-powerful squirrel stowed away in her duffle bag of belongings that Sakura met the others at the gates of Konoha.

* * *

"You're late," Kakashi Hatake remarked casually when Sakura came into focus, earning himself a blow from everyone present for the hypocritical elements of his words.

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT!" Iruka, Sasuke, and Sakura shouted at once, causing any gusto that the jonin might have prepared over the last few minutes to flush itself away in the tide of their annoyance.

The four shinobi left their hometown without anymore mishap, their destination the Land of Waves, where something entirely different was going on.

* * *

The night following the daring showdown with the Mist Village's ANBU, Naruto had done what anyone in his position would do, and blindly ran into the forest when the others appeared asleep. After all, it wasn't every day that an infamously vicious shinobi lengthened a mandatory training trip indefinitely, continuing a stretch of time that separated a person from almost everything they knew and loved.

Uzumaki Naruto had argued at the time of the announcement, but Momochi Zabuza had snapped right back, his defense astounding(even though Naruto wouldn't hear a word of it).

"_You can't do this! I have to get back home! My friends are counting on me, dattebaiyo!" Naruto practically shrieked, shaking his head and backing away from the resolute rogue ninja before him. It was likea nightmare, where everything he did correctly put him one step further from his objectives; life had at some point gone horribly wrong._

"_Your friends…" Haku had echoed with pity, expressionless eyes boring into the blonde's somewhat exhausted body._

"_People who abandon their comrades aren't friends, kid." Zabuza had bluntly announced, watching Haku's little friend carefully. Surely enough, the boy's face reddened._

"_They didn't abandon me!" he shouted for real this time, scattering the birds. Again, Haku looked on with masked pity._

"_I hate to break it to you, brat, but your sensei is known for his tracking abilities. If your precious Kakashi had wanted to locate his student, he would have accomplished long before my village's force." The gauze his condescending curl of lip, but Naruto knew it was there anyway. "Either you're a low-priority missing ninja, or your village just didn't give a damn. I don't know which, but I really don't care, either."_

"_Shut up." Naruto's throat burned, but not nearly as much as his face. His conviction and loyalty was not so easily cast aside, even if he knew there was a degree of truth to the browless-man's continuous verbal assaults._

"_Haku told me you don't have a family. There's no reason for you to go back to that place; I know these civil economies, there'll be nothing left for you there."_

_Naruto was seething now, forced to think back on his life and prodded to see the flaws it contained. What seemed like it would be a hurtful climax lost it's grip when he wrestled it, and inner turmoil ceased with a single smiling face in Naruto's memory._

"_You're wrong," the Uzumaki stammered with a growing conviction._

_Haku looked on in awe as the missing member of Team 7 stood up to squint his master in the eyes with a confidence that had only newly-manifested itself. A crimson aura welled around the Uzumaki, overwhelming Haku's senses with blind power. Zabuza, on the other and, watched with awe and fascination with the transformation at hand._

"_They'll find me, and you will let me go." Naruto hissed, unaware of the fangs that had just begun to peek through his gums._

_Zabuza gaped for a moment under his facial coverings while he came to understand exactly what was going on. _

"_Like hell," the elite shinobi murmured and knocked the boy out with the blunt side of his sword, causing the kid to revert to his normal(though unmistakably unconscious) self._

Thinking back on the conversation, Naruto should have known that the two Mist ninja had been expecting him to bolt. This time, they apprehended him with more purpose, and Naruto was tied to a tree with chakra-halting seals for the rest of the nocturnal rest period, where he struggled and shouted until he wore himself out.

* * *

Author's note: I'm hungry and in need of good love. chews on her own heart Yummy.


	36. Impulsive Explanation

Disclaimer: Copyrights are in place, and they are followed by the author of this fic, who makes no money from the written work at any time.

* * *

Iruka Umino had never run faster in his entire life. The ground below him flew like a blue, but from his angle of vision, all he saw was what was ahead of him. Thankfully, the scenery was beautiful, and the sun wasn't directly in his vision. Streaks of sunlight mixed with patches of plantlife marked the sides of the road the four ninja were traveling.

It had been fourteen hours since they had left Konoha, and while the group had stopped on a few occasions to answer the call of nature, Iruka had been quite convinced that the group shouldn't make camp until they'd reached the fire country's borders. At the time, Kakashi Hatake had agreed with his younger coworker, but he had his doubts as to how long the Umino himself could hold out.

Schoolteachers of even a shinobi academy were considered pansies; one of the reasons Mizuki hadn't been suspected of being a vagabond in any way was this common reputation. As a teacher, your training schedules were relaxed, and all you had to worry about were the basics. All-in-all, it had seemed like a nice fit for Iruka, who had screwed around instead of taking his assignment as a shinobi seriously. Therefore, it was with mild surprise that Kakashi could look behind him and see Iruka keeping up as well as any fellow jonin.

Further behind the two adults, the two genin were keeping a pace as fast as they could manage, Sasuke leading by an arm's length. It wasn't a competition, however, and every now and then the Uchiha would allow is female teammate to catch up and even pass him, if only to ensure that the group wasn't separated; for some reason, he just didn't trust Kakashi with that task.

Every now and then, Sakura would pull her water canteen hanging from her waist to take a quick swig while her legs were still going. She could feel her chest burn with the effort, and her legs strained, but instead of a whining protest, Sakura would just focus on the fact it was good for her body. The natural ouncing of her backpack kept her from feeling any excess wriggling of the living being stowed away inside it.She made a mental note to run more when she returned to Konoha, unaware that one of her morning rounds around the city would catch the attention of a very passionate green-clad male named Rock Lee, who would from that moment on attempt to join her on her morning escapades, spurring her to run faster.

Time went by, as it had a tendency to do in life whether you counting the seconds or not. The group of four managed to make at least one time and a fraction of the pace that Team 7 had managed on their last trip down the same road(partially due to the fact that they weren't constantly needing to be wary of enemy attacks), and by the next nightfall, the ninja found themselves within a few kilometers of the Land of Waves. It was around then that Sakura Haruno finally voiced her inability to keep up any longer, and though Iruka would have protested, the fact that the kunoichi collapsed flat on her face in a deep slumber discouraged him from doing so(and left the chuunin with a small amount of guilt for is impatience).

Kakashi hadn't been very concerned for her after deducing that it was just from the exhaustion, but he did force everyone to stop for the night. Sasuke had kept his stamina up long enough to help lay out the bedrolls from their baggage before joining Sakura in keeling over into sleep. Kakashi and Iruka actually had enough gusto to enjoy a nice dinner of the supplies the Hatake had thoughtfully crammed into one of his pockets befoe settlin down also. If they had enough rest, perhaps they could make great time the next day as well.

* * *

Naruto woke up of his own accord at dawn, feeling numb in areas where the chords had cut off the better part of his circulation. When the events of the night before refreshed in his memory, Naruto spat out another curse, all too aware of the fact Zabuza was standing nearby, penciling something out on a map that Naruto hadn't realized the man had.

Although the dangerous missing-nin had obviously heard him, he paid no heed to the stream of angry words that proceeded to fall from the Uzumaki's mouth while the boy again attempted to break free of the ropes constricting him.

After utilizing an entire lungful of air on words, and another five on flailing, Naruto looked around for Haku, who didn't appear anywhere in sight. This irked him even further, as Haku would have at least attempted to defuse the situation somehow.

"Gragh!"

Frustrated, but refusing to give up, Naruto began to use his only free appendage to knock backwards against the tree. His head throbbed with the impact to the bark, but he continued his movements anyway. He didn't know what he was trying to accomplish, but anything was better than just taking things sitting down. He'd done that for too long, and if he ddn't get back to Konoha soon, the Chuunin Exams would occur without him, and Gaara… Gaara would not only be thieved of his chance at redemption, but would be assigned to the role of destroying all of Konoha.

"Kid, calm down," Zabuza Momochi growled, getting to his feet to approach the child who was more than he seemed. Though outwardly calm, the man was being cautious; he had heard rumors of the bijuu being sealed into human bodies, but he had never given any stock to those topics. He still didn't know what to believe about the incredible chakra the foreign brat had been saturated with, but as the Momochi had learned the night before, provoking the blonde probably wasn't the best of ideas.

Naruto trained his cobalt-blue eyes on his captor with a delirious glare before continuing to bash his own skull into his prison, screaming like a beast. The wood behind him was beginning to splinter, which was alarming to Zabuza because the tree was still very much alive. Wick wood didn't often respond to such blunt impacts, but the kid was ruthless.

_I can't TAKE this anymore! KYUUBI! Make this STOP!_

The Uzumaki attempted to draw on the fox's chakra for the first time he had intentionally done so in eons, only to find it avoided him. In his subconscious, Kyuubi made a slight warning growl.

_Why are you doing this?! _Naruto inwardly screamed at the creature, which again ignored his pleas as much as everyone else in the world. Beginning to lose consciousness from his own self-torture, Naruto could see himself falling into that familiar place. Inside his own brain, the spiritual avatar of himself approached Kyuubi's bars.

"_I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME!" he ordered, all fear of the creature before him shoved aside in his confused rage. The Kyuubi looked at him, now, and prepared his answer._

Afraid to halt the boy physically, Zabuza continued his observation of the lad's frantic and self-destructive actions until blood trickled down the tree bark, and Naruto's eyes rolled into the back of his head. While the physical Naruto lost consciousness, the one within his own mind gained material form.

"_**It's simple, really,"** the bijuu said, shrouded in darkness,** "I didn't feel like it."**_

_Naruto clenched his fists and pressed his face against one of the bars. "Didn't feel like it?" he echoed, incredulous._

"_**Don't sound so surprised, Kid. Even if you die, the cycle begins again."**_

"_I noticed that; I JUST HAVE A HARD TIME COMING TO GRIPS WITH THE FACT THAT THE DEMON IN SEALED IN MY SOUL ACTS ON IMPULSE!" the human shrieked, once again sharply glancing at the eyes of the demon. This time, he regretted it as a stinging sensation coursed through his frame._

"_**Impulse is fate's communication. The workings of the universe are surprisingly ruled by it." **the demon communicated with booming authority, causing some of Naruto's brash attitude to make way for logical thought._

_The boy placed his fingers to his forehead and lowered his voice to a hiss, "Are you saying everything you have done thus far and called 'fate' has been on a whim? You KILLED HALF A VILLAGE! That kind of action is not created by an IMPULSE!"_

"_**Is that what you think, or is that what your festering humanity believes? Humans have predictable impulses stemmed from greed. You desire to own, to obtain, to consume, to enjoy. Entities such as myself move as we are instructed by sudden moments of compulsion. We gain NOTHING, we want NOTHING; that is what separates us from the divine."**_

_The indamine's son sputtered and attempted to wrap his mind around the concept. As anyone would be, the young shinobi was quite disturbed to be having such a conversation with a deity that destroyed his childhood. Still, be that as it were, the words were beginning to at least make sense for what they were._

"_Then define divinity," Naruto urged, crossing his arms with reluctant tolerance._

"_**Divinity controls; divinity is balance. It creates, regulates, and corrects until there is no more change to be made, and the soul uncorruptable."**_

"_The gods?" Naruto asked quietly, baffled but at least making an effort to comprehend the whole discussion._

"_**That's what you would call them, yes." **The Kyuubi's eyes regarded the human with interest as he began to pace._

"_What do these things have to do with me?" the aspiring hokage suddenly retorted._

"_**Nothing." **the Kyuubi laughed, causing Naruto's hairs to stand on end, "-**or everything, depending on how you think on it."**_

_Naruto's face curled into concentration as he attempted to figure the riddle out. However, being Naruto, he failed._

_The nine-tailed bijuu was content to just recline in the seal's prison during the instants that followed. Its rumbling breathes echoed through the surreal chamber while the boy in the center of it stewed._

"_I don't get it." the blonde finally conceded, looking back to the chaotic entity with distaste._

"_**Of course you don't. That's the point. It is not my responsibility to enlighten you."**_

"_Why not?!" Naruto demanded, beginning to feel his ephemeral form fade._

"_**I don't feel like it."**__ the Kyuubi answered, irritating his host to no end before the dream vanished completely._

* * *

Author's note: Confused? You should be.


	37. I Love Signpost

Disclaimer: The text below this line was formulated by my brain with characters that didn't belong to me.

* * *

Perspective is a very powerful word, and though it has two forms of meaning, it often boils down to one's perception of something's relationship to another. Whether this is difference in length, angle, or merely how much water in a glass is entirely up to the interpreting individual, but to Haku, it was a matter of several of these things. For example, the sitting position the young partner of Zabuza had occupied while treating Naruto's self-inflicted wounds was perfect for moving and bandaging the body of his patient. On a similar note, Naruto's position on the ground, set on his belly made for a muffled trajectory of a loud shout the moment he gained consciousness. The end of the matter had them share the same cognitive perspective in that they were both very disoriented and confused.

In Naruto's case, he was getting used to the feeing of utter bafflement, but not to the extent that he actually _remembered _a very philosophical conversation with the being that had made his life a living hell.

The area he awoke in was no different from the area he had managed to leave before. A few hours had probably passed, judging by the positions of the shadows. The dirt was reasonably soft and moist, and Naruto could tell his skin was getting all too familiar with the substance.

"What the-?" Naruto sputtered, feeling his head throb with a cringe. Haku stared at him seriously, his dark eyes unusually intense.

"You shouldn't be alive," the missing ninja told him curtly, not because of fear for what the Uzumaki might be, but because the boy had endangered himself in such a way to begin with. "You obtained massive trauma to the back of you skull, shattering it."

Naruto squinted, his eyes tender from the light. "…What are you talking about?"

"You toppled a living tree backwards with your head, little shinobi." Haku replied, flicking his head towards the grisly display of plant gore. The trunk had indeed been pushed backwards, splintered, and at one point, snapped. Reddish stains marred the lower sections of the bark like dried sap.

"I did that?" Naruto asked, slowly gaining a sense of how his meeting with the demon fox had come about. The blonde lifted a hand to the back of his head, finding it bandaged and sticky with dried blood. Curious, he felt the shape of his head and though it hurt incredibly, he felt no abnormalities. Somewhere behind him, Haku sighed.

"Did you use some sort of special jutsu or something, Haku?" he asked, wondering if the evasive fox had been multitasking during their lovely 'chat'.

Haku shook his head, the shock once again apparent in his eyes. "I did nothing but wash the blood off and put the bandage on. Your body, it… just mended on its own."

Naruto closed his eyes. He had thought that the Kyuubi had stopped giving him the wound-eradicating handicap for a while now. It wasn't something he had really dwelt on, but he had noticed that it took him longer to regain energy after the primary fight with Haku. Why would the nine-tailed fox be so inconsistent?

"_**I didn't feel like it."**_ Naruto's mind replayed, causing him to give a bitter smirk. He might not have understood a lot of their internal conversation, but he did manage to round up the information that his demonic tenant was not to be counted on at all times. At least, he thought he did, but now he was just confused.

"Do you place no value on your own life, Naruto?" Haku asked, sounding dangerously like Sakura preparing to start a lecture. Circumstances aside, it was a welcome diversion to Naruto's inner turmoil. In fact, it fished out a subject he had pondered himself.

"Well, Haku, I will put this answer bluntly," Naruto stated, pushing himself until he was sitting up. Speckles clouded his vision momentarily, but he knew where his companion would be from memory and faced him until the sparkling blindness cleared. "This is a stupid question."

"Then enlighten me, Naruto-kun, as to why you would be so willing to take your own life when there is nothing for anyone to gain from the experience?"

"I wasn't trying to commit suicide, Haku." the blue-eyed boy replied enthusiastically.

Haku's fists clenched in spite of himself. "Then what WERE you doing?"

The young ninja from Konoha shrugged, causing Haku to ruffle him by his collar slightly. "Answer me!"

Naruto winced, his tender cranium agitated by the shaking.

"I was trying to escape!" he exclaimed, warding off the physical contact with a surprisingly agile bat of hand.

"By bashing your head against a tree?" Haku asked incredulously(well, for him, anyway).

Naruto nodded stubbornly in response and crossed his arms. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

In that instant, Haku asked a question that would cause his blonde friend to have an epiphany of sorts.

"Why would that even occur to you as a good idea?" the mist ninja asked.

Naruto grew surprisingly quiet as he tilted his aching head from side to side before grinning widely_._

_Life really **is **pretty based on impulse…_

"I guess I just felt like it!" the jinchuuriki finally responded with a carefree laugh, prompting even the stoic Haku to fall flat on his face in surprise.

* * *

Sakura Haruno didn't rifle through her bag the following morning. As the group was in a hurry, there was only enough time to drink some water and take a few bites of a Kakashi-provided rice ball before continuing their pursuit. Her legs ached, and her whiny aspects weren't too happy with the thought of another day of continuous sprinting. Sakura wasn't going to stand for her brain employing such an attitude and promptly informed her inner self to shut the hell up, which was unusually effective.

Sasuke Uchiha didn't need to talk to himself about discipline; he was used to going without and pushing himself to the limits. The run was challenging, but it wasn't going to kill him. If it did, how could he ever even dream of destroying Itachi? The second the name flew through his head, the adrenaline followed, and by focusing on his anger the physical fatigue was nullified.

Kakashi's running was automatic, he had done so much of it that his muscles could transport him like a machine. If it weren't for his assigned team, the Hatake probably could have continued his run for days. Eventually, the genins would be able to do this as well, but forcing it on them all at once would cause more trouble than good.

Iruka's consistent pace that was coming close to rivaling Kakashi's stemmed from two sources. The more obvious of the two lay in his fraternal relationship with their quarry, but the other was not common knowledge.

Iruka Umino, contrary to popular belief, worked hard when nobody was looking. If Sasuke had entered the man's apartment under more favorable circumstances, the floor would have been visible, as would the intents in it from the weight set the chuunin had formerly owned. Beyond weightlifting, the Umino had often made his rounds early in the morning under the henge of a student that was alternated every other day. In the early days of his teaching career, Iruka had used these forms for less admirable things than running laps, but since then he had grown out of the pranks. It was a good thing, too, because Naruto picked up where he had left off.

After a few hours, the waters that served as the natural barrier to Tazuna's native land stretched out before them. Kakashi spurred off to the left when the group reached the shore. Under better circumstances, he would have used that roadblock as a chance to teach his students about chakra control, but there wasn't time for training.

Twenty minutes elapsed while the group sprinted off the beaten path. No one asked any questions, as Sakura was beginning to recognize the lonely route they had taken home from their last trip to the island nation.

She glanced at Sasuke, who nodded in nonverbal agreement.

To nobody's surprise, Kakashi soon led them back to another footpath. It was in better condition then the one they had been using, but Kakashi hadn't brought the four of them there for comfortable feet. Continued travel revealed the true intention to be the use of a large bridge.

When they approached the structure, merchants began making their way past the shinobi, who were forced to slow to a walk to maneuver on the impoverished country's new trade route. Several villagers on the bridge attempted to halt Kakashi for some sort of conversation after recognizing his presence, but he just politely waved them off. Iruka watched these pleasant exchanges for a while, but eventually stopped pausing at every halt in their progress.

While Kakashi was supposed to be leading the team, there really was no need for direct need for guidance on a linear bridge over a body of water, so Iruka found himself wandering ahead for a majority of their stretch as bridge-pedestrians. The day was sunny, and the breeze mild, so it wasn't an unpleasant time for such a thing.

When a ninja's hiatae was in plain view, most people tended to leave them alone, so Iruka's trip was uneventful until he reached the other end of Tazuna's prized structure. The brown-haired teacher stood idly for a while, waiting for the Team 7 to catch up to him, but his eyes wandered. Eventually, they found a sign near the entranceway that bowled him over. It consisted of four words, but they really weren't something the twenty-three year old had been prepared for.

"The Great Naruto Bridge," he read aloud, approaching the sign with doubt. "No way…"

The Umino shook his head, the breeze shoving a few loose chocolate hairs in his face. The words remained unchanged.

"You see a bug on there?" a young boy's voice penetrated Iruka's concentration, causing him to turn. Tazuna's grandson regarded the hiatae and expression that was now visible on the chuunin's head idly before amending,"-or a ghost, maybe?"

Inari wasn't just loitering on the bridge. The child was dressed in his usual overalls, but they were considerably ruffled and moist with sweat. The builder's grandson was loading boxes onto a spacious wooden cart, and it appeared he had been doing so for a while now. The pile of cargo remaining to be placed into the wagon had dwindled to a single crate.

"I-it's nothing." Iruka stammered, taking his hand off the marked wood. The cap-wearing boy raised an eyebrow and placed another box in the cart, completing the load. An older villager thanked the child for his help and tossed him a coin.

His work being finished, Inari approached the shinobi from the Leaf village curiously. "Are you here all alone? I thought you guys came in groups of four."

The chuunin opened his mouth, "I, er… actually-"

"He's with us." Kakashi interjected, having finally caught up with his hasty comrade. Sakura and Sasuke followed close behind.

"Hello, Inari." Sakura was careful to avoid any eye contact with Inari, but Sasuke game an unenthusiastic wave before reentering his characteristic slouch.

Inari startled a little with the sudden intrusion, but Kakashi acted like the meeting was the most casual thing on earth.

"I need to speak with your grandfather," the gray-haired jonin announced.

Inari's face perked up curiously. "He's at work."

Kakashi put a hand to his chin. "Well, can you take us to the site? We're in a bit of a rush."

Inari nodded and motioned for the four shinobi to follow his lead. The boy was painstakingly slow compared to the pace they had been keeping.

"What's he building, anyway?" Sakura asked.

"A bathhouse." Inari replied.

* * *

Author's note: I recently replaced my heart with a baked potato. This arrangement worked out fine until I started getting hungry. My makeshift heart met the same fate as its predecessors, so if anyone has some random vegetable they could loan me, it'd be great.


	38. A Peculiar Blemish

Disclaimer: Aside from various rodents, these characters were not devised by yours truly.

* * *

The bright sky was quick to darken in the rain Sakura and Sasuke had so longed for less than a week prior. In the span of twenty minutes, the bright sky was set upon by dark stratus clouds, and the walk to Tazuna's building site became a tad chilly.

Water fell on the heads of the people still wandering the paths, and some of them pulled out umbrellas when it progressed to a downpour. Locals ran to a nearby building with practiced expertise. It wasn't so absurd for the weather to change so suddenly in the Land of Waves; in an area surrounded by water, rain was a part of life.

Sakura Haruno trudged through the damp precipitation without so much as a hand over her head, but regretted her choice of wardrobe when the group finally reached the semi-completed structure that Tazuna and his taskforce were constructing.

The bathhouse project that the village had sponsored was a somewhat revolutionary idea. Since the land of waves didn't contain any naturally heated hot springs in major areas, and volcanoes were few and far between, they had reverted to mechanics to create something for the community to enjoy. With any luck, tourists would come to enjoy the spa as well.

Water was to be heated in a large tank and kept warm by a constant bonfire of peat from the marshy temperate lands surrounding them. The result would be clean, and the water could be cheaply warmed and filtered through easily-found river rocks and gravel.

Predictably, the rain found the old bridge-builder and his fellow workers were sitting under the portion of the building with a roof, their progress on hold until the water stopped coming down in sheets. Some of the men took out their lunches, and others amused themselves by playing with dice that they toted in their pockets. Tazuna was in his own corner, chugging away at a canteen that probably contained a liquid darker and heavier than water.

The roofed space was somewhat small, but it was still wide enough for the Konoha shinobi to slip in without shoving anyone. Eyes fell on them the instant they reached the shelter from the rain, but they weren't scrutinizing. A curious set of glances could be expected when a handful of drenched ninja entered an area for what seemed to be no apparent reason.

While some of the workers muttered amongst themselves, Tazuna hadn't. He chugged away, occasionally looking outside with a dejected sigh as he calculated how much time and labor would be wasted that afternoon.

Inari was the first to approach his grandfather, and he exchanged a quick and lukewarm greeting before motioning to his back. The elderly man allowed his eyes to rest on the figure he recognized as a saturated Kakashi, his grey mane plastered to his face and dripping. Though the builder couldn't quite place it, there was a smell of wet dog about the former ANBU, as well.

"Kakashi?" A bushy eyebrow rose on Tazuna's forehead. What could Kakashi want with him? The shinobi knew first-hand that the village didn't have enough money to pay the fees an A-ranked mission would have required, and he had assumed they weren't coming back to push such a demand.

Surely enough, no bills were handed out, and the addressed ninja wrung out his hair, a process that he had to devote more time to than Sakura did.

"Greetings, Tazuna," Kakashi responded after he had removed enough water from his hair to open his eye clearly. The leader of squad seven gave a courteous bow to the working-class man he was addressing and motioned to his students, who acknowledged themselves in turn before reaching Iruka, whom he introduced by rank.

"This is Iruka Umino, a chuunin schoolteacher at Konoha's ninja academy," Kakashi motioned to his coworker without enthusiasm.

"Ah," Tazuna nodded,"-I was wondering what he was doing here. The guy seems a little old to replace the hyperactive one."

Unbeknownst to the builder, his comment sent a resounding twitch through all of the natives of Konoha present. Iruka looked like he may have said something brash and stupid, but Sakura grabbed the man's sleeve and tugged it gently, jolting him into a more discreet cough.

"Well, it's good to see you again, I suppose." the builder laughed, disregarding Iruka's attempt at hostile communications(as he didn't recognize it as such). The smell of sake carried from his breath, but it wasn't any match for the fishy scent accompanying it. Kakashi was grateful for the mask he wore at that moment; most of the odor didn't reach his senses. Iruka, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. With slight amusement, the older ninja watched the brown-haired man's face turn slightly green.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, then?" Tazuna asked, reclining on the ledge of what was to become a window without a care in the world. "If you're here on vacation, I'll tell you what I told the other bushy-Konoha weirdo. The hot spring will open in a week, but you're going to hafta' hold out 'til then."

Kakashi turned his head slightly to the right. "Other Konoha weirdo?"

"Other _bushy_ Konoha weirdo." Inari corrected the jounin and was consequently ignored, eliciting a small pout.

"-what other Konoha weirdo?" Kakashi asked earnestly, mulling through the hordes of comrades he had that fit that description swimming in his brain.

Some of Tazuna's workers were now relaxed enough to join in conversation, and started to chuckle amongst themselves when they remembered the encounter that their foreman had mentioned.

"Ha! You should have seen him!" one of the younger workers smirked, "I'll bet he's something of a character where you come from. He's got this crazy white hairdo that looks like he's smuggling an animal on his head."

"-and there's this freakish mole on the side of his nose!" another laborer added, prompting a slight argument as to whether or not the blemish had been a wart or the mole it was accused of being.

Iruka wore a mask of shock before covering it with a yawn. The teacher looked to Kakashi, who gave him a knowing nod. Sasuke watched the whole exchange with a grimace, not being able to make sense of the nonverbal communication. However, the Uchiha did understand that this 'bushy Konoha weirdo' was someone the two men probably knew.

"Is that man still in town?" Iruka asked casually.

"I think so; probably parked his middle-aged butt at the inn," Tazuna replied with nonchalance.

Once again, the two more experienced ninja looked to one another with resolution.

"Why aren't we staying there?" Sakura asked suddenly, the idea dawning on her.

Iruka looked at the young kunoichi. In fact, she could swear his eyes traveled over her curves with appraisal. "If we were going to stay there before, we're definitely switching lodgings now."

Kakashi waited until the men stilled with their increasingly silly descriptions of their previous visitor before informing Tazuna that his team wasn't on vacation(big surprise), and informed the builder that his rag-tag team mostly needed information and a place to stay with as little expenses as possible.

Tazuna didn't ask questions; the old man wasn't the only one who could use guilt as a weapon, and Kakashi's well-meaning request was a simple one.

"You want to stay at my place?" Inari's grandfather asked, his hands to the side. Though he didn't notice, Inari's face brightened with childlike excitement. "We don't have anything new to offer you, but if I could ask what your business out here is?"

"Eh?" Kakashi deadpanned, looking like he had spaced out while his mind had been hard at work. Iruka wished he could do the talking at this point, but there really was no way for him to conduct a conversation as a total stranger.

"I asked what you're doing here." Tazuna repeated, taking another swing of what must have been sake. From behind his glasses, the older man regarded the ninja patiently.

"Oh, that." the Hatake murmured, the glazed appearance of his eyes fading into comprehension. "We're here because we've obtained evidence that Naruto may still be alive."

Inari's head snapped into gear so quickly it may have fallen off, and Tazuna choked on a gulp of his alchohol. Some amount of guilt tried to rise from the builder's conscience and failed utterly.

After coughing for a while, Tazuna managed to speak in his aged rumble.

"Evidence?" he grunted, the rain accenting his syllables in a steady rhythm, "Do I even wanna ask?"

"Probably not," Kakashi admitted, drumming his fingers on his elbows. Behind him, Sakura blushed, causing the old man's imagination to go wild.

Inari's imagination wasn't nearly as perverted as his grandfather's, but it was strong enough that he flinched.

"Causes aside, we need to conduct our investigation from somewhere." the silver-haired jounin reasoned with a sigh.

"Alright, alright," the builder wavered, giving a wry smile. "You can stay with us, but I don't think my little girl's going to appreciate the short notice."

Kakashi clapped his hands together with what must have been a masked smile. "Thank you for your understanding. Now, if you would be kind enough to keep Sakura and Sasuke here, Iruka and I have an errand to run at the inn."

The two genin were given no more time to protest than the builder, who looked like he was having second thoughts about his hospitality when Kakashi spoke up again.

"Don't worry, you can make them work like dogs when the rain stops. Consider it payment for the room and board!"

"What?!" Sasuke and Sakura both shouted, though their teachers were gone before they expended a lungful of air. Some of the builder's couldn't repress their laughter at the two's misfortune. Iruka shot the younger ninjas a pitying look before leaving the building through the door like a normal person. Kakashi, however, vanished in a puff of smoke as usual.

Inari waited for the smoke marking the jounin's exit to disperse before looking at Sasuke's bewildered face.

"Wow. Your sensei's really weird."

Sakura shook out of her gape and looked to Inari blearily.

"That's putting it lightly." she groaned.

* * *

Author's note: Sorry I'm late. Motivation escaped me like a prisoner from a top-security prison(violently and with the help of a riot or two).


	39. Drinking is Bad

Disclaimer: Naruto and friends wasn't filmed in front of a live studio audience, and the proceeds do not go directly to charity.

* * *

Kakashi had to lead Iruka to the inn near the village's center through the rain, which wavered in intensity. The merchants and shopkeepers of the area put out lamps and illuminated their various businesses through the pouring water, making the entire settlement gain an almost enchanted glow, the brightest patch being their destination.

While the Center Inn had been nearly deserted on Kakashi's last trip to the area, the sounds coming from it now broadcasted quite a contrast. With trade restored, people wandered in and out of the doorways with baggage and coats sheltering their heads. The rain had closed the workday early for most, and the pub that was undoubtedly inside the building had to have been bustling with traders who had found shelter for the time being.

While the structure of the in in broad daylight seemed enormous in comparison to the other buildings in the area, the heaven's blessings made it appear small. The wood that the building was comprised of was darker with the moisture, and strange patterns appeared on the grains before the trail finally ended with a puddle in the streets, where a foreign peddler's child was being yelled at for mussing up her good clothes.

Closer in, the smells of fresh food and booze flooded the senses. Iruka cast a doubtful glance at Kakashi when they neared the open door. While the person they were looking for really would be of use, the Umino had heard the stories. That being said, Ichi-Icha's author really couldn't have found a better place to kick back for the afternoon.

The two entered the building thoroughly soaked yet again, but nobody made much comment, as they were already too busy with their assorted activities. Kakashi's visible eye lost no time in looking for the tell-tale white bush of a head, and Iruka wasted not a moment in following him. The jounin gently shoved through the rows of tables when he found what he was looking for.

The Toad Sannin of Konohagure took another swig of his umpteenth glass of an alcoholic beverage and wrapped his arm around the shoulder of a woman who looked like she was having second thoughts on her choice of seats. To be fair, though, if it wasn't one creepy old man it would have been another, and at least this one hadn't fondled her in any inappropriate places. Jiraiya was about to remedy this single positive observation before a poke to his shoulder forced him to retrieve the hand he had employed in search of booty.

"Sir." the owner of the hand addressed the Toad summoner with respect, even if the circumstances didn't require it. Jiraiya, though irritated with his failure in goosing, turned to look at the interrupting presence to be greeted with the sight of a duo wearing Konoha's emblem in an article of clothing that was quite similar to the one he sported. His face fell from buzzed giddiness to professional curiosity in a second.

"Yes?" the perverted author asked, the female he had been sharing company with taking this opportunity to bolt. Under his breath, Jiraiya cursed. _This had better be important._

The masked ninja who had addressed him in the first place took the seat of the woman who had fled and ordered three drinks, the second being delivered to Jiraiya, and the third being given to the chuunin who had taken the seat on the right side of the infamous pervert. The toad summoner squinted at the two. They were both familiar, but names sometimes escaped him when he was ever-so-slightly drunk.

"You can imagine my surprise when I heard that one of the sannin was in town." the masked man commented, not even touching his drink. The question of why the gray-haired had ordered anything in the first place nagged at Jiraiya's brain, but only for a moment. "You really should learn some patience; the bathhouse isn't even done yet, sir."

"Ah, but you never know with these guys," the smut author snorted, "Their information is only good for what you give them, and I didn't feel generous that day."

Iruka forced the burning liquid from the cup in front of his face down his throat, observing Kakashi's actions very carefully. Had Jiraiya been completely sober, he would have known why Kakashi had ordered an extra cup. Sannin, you see, weren't often known for being willing to help people without cause. Ever since the three 'left' Konoha, the only tales that reached the ears of the village of their youths were often bad or related to something silly done when drugged. That being said, Iruka couldn't deny his superior's ingenuity. The best way to coexist with a sannin was to get them drunk.

"So, when's the next book coming out, then?" Kakashi asked casually, forcing the praise out of Iruka's head as the chuunin was forced to inhale his drink sharply. What did the damn book have to do with anything? There was only so much that Iruka could dismiss as lulling someone into a false sense of security.

"I thought we were here to talk about N-"

"Nothing in particular, right?" Kakashi interrupted, his voice confident. Jiraiya looked between the two of them and snickered, his face a little redder than it had been when they arrived. The Hatake quickly poured some of his own glass into Jiraiya's when the man looked away.

"Ah, you're so tense, kid!" Jiraiya exclaimed, grinning awkwardly at Iruka, who pushed his stool further back in small increments. "Lighten up! There are ladies present."

"There sure are," Kakashi said quickly, staring at Iruka directly. The Umino made no effort to conceal the vein bulging on his forehead.

Jiraiya slapped his thigh with mirth and turned back around to face the Hatake and take another drink.

"I think we've met, eh…"

"Kakashi." the jounin announced, bowing slightly, "-Kakashi Hatake."

"Oh, I know that name!" Jiraiya nodded, and proceeded to make small talk with one of the biggest fans of his work he'd ever meet, not even the slightest bit dissuaded by Iruka's constant leering.

* * *

Tazuna waited for the rain to stop for what must have been three hours before finally conceding victory to mother nature's whims. He let the workers leave for home early, and Sakura and Sasuke let out a sigh of relief at not having to worry about slave labor for the time being.

The workers emptied the site of their personal belongings, but the equipment was left in orderly piles. Even though petty theft was not unheard of in the village, not very many common rogues really felt like acting as a kleptomaniac when they were faced with wheelbarrows and shovels.

Sakura waited for Tazuna to finish overseeing his worker's departures. It was somewhat of a long process, and she was beginning to feel her stomach growl. When she thought about it, she came to the conclusion that he hadn't eaten a full and proper meal for several days. Thankfully, the Haruno had the foresight to bring a bag that contained a few choice morsels to snack on.

With consideration for Sasuke(who was probably also hungry), the pink-haired kunoichi reached into her bag to retrieve two packages of nuts when her hand wrapped around something warm and furry instead. Sakura screamed at this discovery. She couldn't be blamed for that; even Kakashi would have flinched considerably if he found a living organism in his luggage that he hadn't invited.

Inari had been closest to Sakura when her shrieking pierced the air, and pulled the bag away from her terrified hands in an instant to look inside. Being a young boy, he couldn't help but investigate. He wondered what sort of gross creature or object could have possibly been inside to create such a reaction. Sasuke soon arrived to uncover the same mystery when their eyes both fell on a very bushy and adorable orange squirrel that leapt out of the bag with natural grace.

"Aw… it's cute." Inari pointed out, joined with a chuckle from his grandfather. Quite honestly, Inari couldn't quite tell why the two young shinobi were staring at the rodent like it was the devil incarnate.

"Is this the one?" Sasuke asked Sakura, his eye twitching with vehemence.

"Y-yes." Sakura informed her teammate breathlessly.

"…and you brought it WITH you?" the Uchiha boy stammered, tensing as the small woodland creature wandered towards them with atypical squirrel boldness.

Sakura shook her head. "No. It must have slipped in on it's own."

Tsuoomi's eyes focused on the two genin with surprising intelligence, causing them to quiver further. Inari continued to watch the spectacle unfold as the squirrel clambered onto the feet of the pink-haired girl. She squeaked and tried to nudge it off with the help of Sasuke, who had reached for it with what appeared to be a bad case of Sciurophobia(the fear of squirrels).

Tsuoomi was undaunted by the Uchiha boy's efforts and used his underlying muscle tone to wriggle upwards, traveling through Sakura's dress and causing screams all around before emerging from the top of her garment to look her in the face.

"Sakura-chan," it squeaked, somehow recognizing her name from Naruto's brief memory transfers that had sparked his transformation.

Sakura's green eyes unfocused near the rodent, and with his words, they widened considerably. She was nearly unable to notice it when Tsuoomi pointed to her bag and…smiled. Normal squirrels didn't have the muscles for that. Between this fact and the manner in which the squirrel had addressed her, Sakura shrieked again and fell to the ground in a cold faint.

Sasuke's twitching had intensified, and after witnessing Sakura's collapse, he blindly ran at the squirrel that had deigned to speak. Inari, at this point, was so confused that all he could do was sit there while the black-haired genin chased a talking orange squirrel that was ultimately caught by Tazuna when he strayed too close to the flustered builder.

When the rough hands enclosed around his tail, Tsuoomi decided that the game was over. He had enough memory of his former self by this point to vanish without a trace, startling the still-coherent humans in the room even further. Plumes of smoke wafted from Tazuna's clutches where the rodent had been, and Inari gave a whistle.

"The hell was that all about?!" the builder demanded. Sasuke walked past him to pick up Sakura's bag. Something had happened inside it, and the damned squirrel itself had pointed to the canvas object. With disregard to the rules of common courtesy, the Uchiha opened the cover flap to reveal a strange-looking scroll. Discretion prevented him from opening the document in any way, and Sasuke decided to simply leave the parcel in the carrier until he could show it to Kakashi.

Sakura recovered within three minutes or so, and there was a nonverbal agreement between all present to act as if the whole squirrel fiasco had never occurred for the time being.

* * *

"Yeah, shhhure I'll help you!" Jiraiya slurred, taking the last gulp of what was in his magically-refilling cup. The man was beet red, now, and tilted dangerously when he moved. "Anything, go ahead and name it! That's what frreiiinds are for, right? 'Sides, this Naruto kid sounds familiar…"

"So you'll give me your word, then?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah," Jiraiya agreed sleepily before holding out his hand and making an attempt to stand up.

Iruka watched the famous shinobi stagger out of his seat and fall asleep on the surface of a nearby table, disrupting a card game between a bunch of farmers. The chuunin put his palm to his forehead. Whatever Kakashi had been trying to accomplish, the man may have gone a bit overboard.

"Why didn't you just ask him after the first few rounds?!" Iruka inquired, leaving Kakashi to pick up his drunken 'friend' and hoist him on his back. The jounin grunted with the weight of the sannin on his back and shrugged in response to Iruka's questioning.

"I guess I was having fun." Kakashi remarked, earning him yet another condescending glare from his subordinate.

Iruka left a tip on the counter and followed Kakashi outside grudgingly, and the three wandered back to Tazuna's house in the ever-persistent rain.

* * *

Author's note: Have a nice weekend, people.


	40. No Megalomania Allowed

Disclaimer: My sword doesn't cut rice paper. It also has nothing to do with this story based on characters I do not own.

* * *

The brunette daughter of Tazuna was not pleased when the first wave of guests entered her house for the nigt, just as Tazuna had predicted. While she didn't direct the anger at the shinobi, Tsunami did shoot a few warning glances at her father that made it perfectly clear that they should have talked the lodging situation through before making a decision by himself. Inari was well aware of his mother's bad mood, but took advantage of the fact it wasn't directed towards him to escape up the stairs into his room.

The genin couldn't bolt like the builder's grandson, but thankfully Tazuna's daughter was the passive aggressive type. She allowed them to make themselves comfortable while she prepared dinner. The two gave polite bows and didn't bother asking what the meal would be.

Minutes later found Sakura and Sasuke reclined on floor cushions in the living room, just letting their muscles relax and allowing the pleasant aromas of Tsunami's kitchen activities to tickle their noses. Whatever Inari's mother was cooking up contained meat, the two noted within their separate minds. Obviously there had been some significant healing to the economy from the bridge, and now they were going to benefit from it as well.

Sasuke turned to his female teammate, who had hardly so much as batted her eyes in his direction during the entirety of their trip from the site. For what it was worth, she was quite calm for all that had happened to her during the past few weeks; he admired that. However, no amount of admiring would ever leave the boy's interior banter, and the calm would have to be broken soon enough.

"Sakura?" he asked quietly, surprising the kunoichi he addressed. At first, the pink-haired girl just hummed and waited for the Uchiha to speak in his usual short sentences. A few quiet moments indicated that whatever was to be said was to be said to her fully-attentive face.

"Yes, Sasuke-kun?" she answered, turning her head in her teammate's direction at long last. The eyes that could become Sharingan regarded her seriously, stirring a few hormones that the kunoichi had repressed to attempt to reappear through a series of facial blood vessels.

This feeling of Sakura's intensified as he opened his mouth slowly, professionally annunciating every syllable with discretion. "Have you opened your bag yet?"

Sakura nearly blushed, some infantile part of her wishing for a gift from her former love, but she quickly pushed it back and fumbled into her side-pouch. A warm hand enveloped her wrist and hummed a sound of disapproval. She didn't turn to face him; her face was bright red and she didn't need this right now.

"Sakura, I was talking about your back-duffle." the owner of the grasping hand informed her back, which was unusually rigid for more reasons than one. Sasuke's brows furrowed as his fingers were extricated from his supposed fan girl's hand forcibly. The Uchiha was forced to ponder his next step for a little while before he thought of a new way to approach his female comrade.

"You're scared." he said slowly, making sure to make his voice as condescending as possible. It came naturally, though, so it didn't take much to make her feel on the spot. "You're just going to sit there and act weak again, aren't you?"

"You were scared, too!" Sakura whipped her body around to face the now-smirking Uchiha with a pout. The black-haired boy shrugged and shook his head, not bothering to deny or validate her accusation.

"You heard that thing, didn't you?!" she demanded, doubting her own sanity ever so slightly.

"Yah." Sasuke answered easily, curiosity concealed well behind his eyes.

"Sakura-chan," she whispered dryly. "-it called me 'Sakura-chan'." She closed her eyes and reinforced the information that both she and Sasuke knew.

"Just like he did, right?" Naruto's rival commented, undoubtedly referring to the blonde in question. The Uchiha put his hands to his chin.

Sakura turned to her former obsession again with confusion. "What does it mean, Sasuke?" she asked timidly, her old trust in the black-haired boy's abilities rising from within.

Sasuke looked at Sakura intensely for a moment from behind his folded hands. He made a few absent noises and made no movements whatsoever.

"I don't know." the self-appointed avenger admitted,"-but we can probably assume it has something to do with the dobe, right?"

Sakura cut him off. "You don't think that thing IS Naruto, do you?" the girl asked with even more insecurity, her eyes suddenly horrified with the thought.

The Haruno couldn't tell if her friend's reply was to spare her, but Sasuke shook his head slowly. "No, I don't, Sakura, but we might know more if you open your bag."

"Why me?" she asked cautiously. While the Haruno didn't doubt Sasuke, she had some qualms with the mysterious squirrel. Her fellow conversationalist didn't soothe her nerves when he looked at her with the smallest smile ever made in the history of man.

"I try not to make a habit of reading other people's mail, Sakura. Whatever the creature wanted, it was centered on you." Obviously, Sasuke was not above stretching the truth to an extent. He had wanted to open the squirrel's 'delivery', as anyone in his position would have.

Sakura grabbed a clump of her hair with her left hand and tugged on it nervously. With the smell of Tsunami's cooking dinner in the air, the kunoichi approached the doorway of the builder's house. Once there, she knelt down and prepared to lift the flap, her one-man audience giving the action his undivided attention.

"If it seems too dangerous, Sakura, we can wait until Kakashi comes back." he suddenly spurted before the girl's pale hand entered her baggage. Her movement halted for a moment, and Sakura had to take a deep breath before feeling around. After a few seconds, her fingers clasped around an unfamiliar object.

The Haruno gulped and pulled the mysterious item out of the bag, feeling its ridges for anything remotely threatening. Aside from a rough texture, there seemed to be no needles or living creatures within it.

When she felt nothing out of the ordinary, Sakura sighed and looked down at the object that fit neatly in her palm. She was struck by the strange appeal of the color it carried; it was a lustrous dark wood scroll case, encrusted with various carvings resembling trees and branches spanning near the top and bottoms. There was a hint of coniferous perfume to it, too.

Entranced, Sakura transferred the scroll case into her other hand and reached down to pull the parchment out from the inside when the door slip open behind her to reveal Kakashi, Iruka, and an unconscious drunk weirdo on the Hatake's back.

Sakura backed away from the door with the scroll in her hands, but never opened it, to Sasuke's displeasure. It would be safer to examine its contents with the jounin around, but all the same, he didn't want Kakashi to overreact. Then again, it wasn't really Kakashi that he should worry about, he realized. Visions of Iruka's apartment flashed through his brain.

"Who's that?" Sakura asked her drenched teacher, the scroll in her hand twirling in her grasp. Iruka smiled feebly in place of Kakashi, who just began taking off his shoes without so much as a reply.

"That is Jiraiya-one of Konoha's legendary sannin." he introduced with a nervous chuckle. As the teacher had warned his gray-haired companion repeatedly on the road back to the builder's house, the man was going to wake up eventually. When he did, there would be reason to worry; most people didn't appreciate waking up the morning after getting wasted with work they'd never have agreed to do otherwise. After serving a stint of unappreciative, a person often became violently angry. Kakashi knew from the start of his brilliant plan that he had condemned himself to an unpleasant fate, had just made a few mutterings in response. Iruka didn't hear him through the rain, though, and dismissed his utterings as something of little importance.

Kakashi unceremoniously dropped his heavily intoxicated cargo to the ground, when the man continued to sleep soundly despite the rainwater on his skin(and the impact with the floor, for that matter).

Sakura and Sasuke couldn't peel their eyes away from the sleeping figure; he seemed strange, granted, but at first glance you wouldn't label him frightening. Repulsive, maybe, and definitely someone you'd want to keep away from your children, but never an effective killer.

"Before you ask, Sasuke, this isn't a cheap trick," Kakashi yawned, looking around to see his remaining male student staring dubiously while Sakura stood over the newcomer with interest. Iruka quickly pulled her away from her position of standing over Jiraiya's face. Were the man to wake up and see the inside of the girl's skirt, there would be quite a bit of guilt on Iruka's shoulders. He didn't really look at younger girls _that _way, but you never knew with the toad sannin.

"It was a really expensive trick." Kakashi chuckled weakly, watching Sasuke's reactions retreat behind apathy like they always did.

"You mean to say you got him drunk, sensei?" Sakura asked, though she already knew the answer by the palm covering Iruka's face.

"This was your ERRAND, sensei?" Sasuke addressed his teacher in a restrained growl. The jounin waved into the kitchen during this time, Tsunami having heard the group enter. The woman pretended not to notice the man passed out on her floor, as there wasn't much she could do about it anyway.

"Sensei?!" Sasuke said forcefully, only to find the Hatake looking at him with hawk-like intensity.

"Down, boy." Kakashi ordered seriously. "He's going to help us find our obnoxious little friend, and just needed a little… convincing."

Iruka groaned. "If he doesn't beat the crap out of us and escape first, anyway."

"Dinner's ready!" Inari's mother suddenly called out, breaking the ninja out of their conversation and enticing them into the dining area, where the portions were considerably larger than their last visit.

Sakura pecked at her food nervously, the scroll still in her free hand. While she hadn't brought it up to Kakashi yet, she intended to. Granted, she was going to open the case without his permission before, but she hadn't really felt all that comfortable with it.

"Eat up, girly." Tazuna nudged at her plate with his own chopsticks, and she lifted her own to shovel more in before the ever-observant Inari pointed at her.

"What are you holding, Sakura?" he asked between bites, causing all eyes to focus on the kunoichi in question. Sasuke's eyes flashed from his end. He'd been waiting for this.

"It's.." Sakura stammered, not entirely sure of how she was supposed to explain herself.

"Isn't that the thing the talking squirrel gave you?" Tazuna barked, sounding more stupid than he had intended. Sakura nodded.

"So, it's a 'talking' squirrel now?" Kakashi asked with interest,"-perhaps there's something you want to share with the rest of the class, then?"

Sakura reached across the table and handed the scroll-case to the enigma of a teacher, who inspected it carefully. His visible eyebrow furrowed, and even Iruka cast the thing a sidelong glance that filled with wonder.

After determining the object wasn't an immediate threat, Kakashi started to open it, only to shut it again and look at Sakura in awe. "Would you like to tell me how your afternoon went, then?"

Sasuke groaned, the mystery still tantalizing him. "What is it?" the Uchiha demanded, soon to be joined by Sakura's head in urging Kakashi to answer.

"It's just a summoning contract, but how you came by it is rather important. Genins don't usually get a hold of these."

"A summoning contract?" Sakura asked, vaguely remembering the term from the academy's course curriculum.

Seeing that the girl was struggling to put two and two together, Iruka lent his expertise in the ninja acedemic field and spent the next few minutes explaining what a summoning contract was, citing examples of Jiraiya and Kakashi as users. He then went a step beyond and explained that most contracts were signed in blood, and that a summon had to truly trust a shinobi to offer a partnership, and many of them contained different agreements.

Kakashi handed the scroll back to Sakura, and Sasuke watched in slight envy as the girl unfurled the parchment to read the symbols contained within. She looked at it with wide eyes, taking in nearly every word within seconds. She was relieved to finally be sure that the rodent that had so haunted her hadn't been her teammate.

It was with very small surprise that Sakura learned the parchment was a squirrel summoning contract, but she couldn't help but let out a breathless laugh when she read the most recent condition, which looked like it had been recently scrawled in.

'_You cannot attempt to destroy and/or attempt a takeover of the human race while under these binding terms.'_

"What is it, Sakura?" Iruka asked when she let loose her small outburst.

"Oh, nothing," she said with a smile.

The kunoichi ended up staying at the table studying the parchment long after the others had gone up to bed, and the next day would find her asleep on the surface, the end of the scroll smeared in a few messy drops of blood that belonged to a wound she had bandaged and taken care of already.

* * *

Author's note: That is the last of inaction you guys will read for a while. Starting in chapter 46, Jiraiya awakens! Sasuke whines! Sakura makes deals with squirrels, and Naruto tries to get away in one final climactic attempt? Well, maybe. It all happens on what is FINALLY an exciting episode of Naruto Ball Z!


	41. Fungus of Foreboding

Disclaimer: This probably isn't mandatory anymore, but I don't claim to have created the Narutoverse.

* * *

After a night of being heinously wasted, Jiraiya always skimmed over his mental 'morning-after' checklist through a throbbing headache. First, he patted the area on which his was situated with his hand to identify the terrain before sitting up. Were he on a cold stone floor, he could deduce that he had most likely drunk himself into a debt of some sort, or had joined some sort of intoxicated brawl. On the other hand, if he was on a comfortable bed, that was often worse. Despite the sannin's constant fantasies, the rare occasions he actually had woken up with a woman at his side ended with more trouble than the prison scenarios.

Recognizing his current position was a residential floor, the toad Sannin relaxed slightly.

Jiraiya opened an unwilling eye through his hangover once he was up and tried to maintain his balance in a sitting position. A blanket that had been draped over him fell down onto his lap, but the man's eyes were trained onto his fingers, starting with his pinkies. There were no rings and/or missing appendages, to his relief. Of course, the white haired man still couldn't be completely satisfied with his awakening until he knew whose house he was in and under what terms. Something from the night before nagged at him, but he couldn't quite place it.

With a jolt of new cranial pain, Jiraiya became painfully aware that he was not the only human being withing the house. From the dining room, there was clattering of dishware and the sound of voices engaging in conversation. With irritation, Jiraiya counted the different pitches he heard until he could come up with a decent estimate of the group's number before deciding on six. This was an incorrect assessment, but the fact Sasuke wasn't really much of a morning person(or an afternoon, evening, or even night person, for that matter) contributed to this error. The Uchiha ate his meal in silence.

To further comprehend his current situation, Jiraiya trained his throbbing ears even further, attempting to make out their conversation.

"-that you still think this is a good idea?" Iruka's voice drifted, sparking Jiraiya's recognition of the chuunin.

"No, but it's the best option we have." Kakashi responded with confidence, jolting a wave of short-lived rage as the white-haired shinobi remembered exactly what had occurred the evening before(well, the where and how of the cause of his hangover, anyway). Jiraiya prepared his summoning jutsu wit the intention of ripping the guy in the next room a new one, and his hands reached into their appropriate sign before he was interrupted by his greatest weakness.

"If he tears apart my living room, I swear, Kakashi…" Tazuna's daughter groaned, the female presence brightening Jiraiya's mood considerably. Realizing that he was in a woman's house, Jiraiya could no longer bring himself to decimate it in a fit of petty revenge. The man's anger ebbed into a form of trepidation; if he couldn't defend himself without destroying someone's house, what was he supposed to do?

"He won't do anything of the sort, madam," the jounin calmly assured. Jiraiya's sinking feeling intensified, and it wasn't just the alcohol-induced suffering at fault. Instinct told the Toad Sannin to bolt before anyone could turn their attention to the next room, if only to save himself some trouble. His plans were cruelly thwarted, however, by a new and bitter voice.

"The guy's awake." Sasuke announced, stirring a sleep-deprived Sakura out of her grogginess to stare at him without understanding. The others reacted quickly, however, Iruka drumming his fingers on his hips while he and Kakashi rose to have their inevitable meeting with the infamous author of the Icha-Icha series. A man who, coincidentally, was halfway through the doorway before being halted by two sets of hands.

Jiraiya took the hands grasping him and flipped both the intervening adults onto their backsides. Vertigo aside, his formidable reputation was not based on appearance alone. While he might not have been able to do much from a doorway without wrecking an entire house, it was the least he could do for himself not to be humiliatingly manhandled. Instead, he swayed back into the living room like a man and sat down, planning to leave the instant he stopped being nauseated from the previous evening's romp.

Jiraiya sat through the first two minutes of Kakashi's tale with his eyes constantly scanning the house for escape routes. He felt bad for the team of ninja for their loss, he really did, but he wasn't a wandering saint, he was a wandering pervert. Deal or no deal, word or none, the older man wasn't content to be someone's lackey. He had important places to be, right? Granted, he couldn't think of any, but they had to be out there. Every moment spent in that living room was another moment lost, and he couldn't help but space out until a very unusual name graced his overly-sensitive ears. Kakashi was very lucky that Jiraiya gained interest in their topic, as the man was about to pummel the grey-haired man and make a break for it.

The title of 'Uzumaki Naruto' caught the hangover-plagued sannin's attention almost as well as the movement of a well-endowed woman's chest as she walked. He couldn't place the sudden passion or the importance of the name right off the bat, but the man suddenly found himself actually paying attention to what his fellow ninja was telling him, a practice that rewarded him with carefully-concealed pointers that indicated the child being the container of Kyuubi. The situation was no longer something the sannin could weasel out of, he began to realize. For the sake of Konoha, he would be forced to act on something other than his own libido, and before the man knew it he was accompanying Team 7 through the streets of the Land of Waves, but not before extorting a great deal of money out of Kakashi. Jiraiya was a ninja, not a warrior of justice, right?

Naruto, for what was nearly the first time in a month, could barely believe his own luck. He had just been doing some basic Taijutsu practices while Zabuza planned a course out of the country(much to Naruto's infinite dismay). Who knew that the blonde's stumbling with an unsteady kick would lead to such a discovery? Indirectly, Gai could be given credit. If Naruto hadn't strayed from the normal training routine to attempt one of the relatively insane man's kicks, the blunder would never have occurred. Regardless of the reasons, however, the cluster of mushrooms were now directly in front of the aspiring rokudaime's face, mocking him with the thought they had been there the entire time.

Naruto may not have been the most attentive student in the academy, he hadn't been given the option of ignoring the ero-sennin's education when the mole-bearing man had pulled him under his perverted wing, and a particular incident involving a village militia had imprinted the particular fungus into his memory for all time. The round-capped stalks were barely any different than the button mushrooms that Zabuza and Haku had been using with their scanty meals as of late, but the slight ridges on the stalks themselves indicated a great difference in effect. With this in mind, Naruto pulled a few off the ground and pocketed them to throw in with dinner when Haku cooked it. Hungry as he might be, Naruto would only take a few bites tonight.

"No, I'm sorry. I haven't seen or heard about anyone carrying that description." a middle-aged woman stated sympathetically, looking over the counter at a man who could barely control his own disappointment. The brown-haired man placed his hand on the side of his face and let out a long exhale before bowing to the tailor's wife respectfully. Her heart ached for the stranger; he must have been having a tough go at his search, but missing children weren't often found in the Land of Waves.

"It must be so hard to lose your son," she murmured, casting him a sideways glance as he left with a fatherly air of grief. He hadn't said as much, but as far as the woman was concerned, it was obvious.

Iruka exited yet another shop and shook his weary head at the group that had been waiting outside in the shade. Kakashi sighed and motioned for the group to adjourn for the evening meal before they left for one last attempt for the day at obtaining information on the missing boy's whereabouts.

The afternoon had ended up a complete waste of time for Naruto's search party. Everywhere they asked and went could provide them with nothing that could be considered a useful lead. Whether or not it was the sleep deprivation or the frustration, their complete lack of success made Sakura Haruno teeter dangerously on the verge of tears. Sasuke acted impartial, but twitches betrayed his impatience.

Dinner was spent out that night, and the meal was kept cheap and brief. Jiraiya stared at any female that passed by the dumpling kiosk they had favored, but respectfully kept his mouth shut. Even the greatest leches on earth could focus when they needed to. Of course, that's when the Toad Sage heard a piece of news that would have been missed if he hadn't been checking out his surroundings in a literal sense. Three Mist ANBU corpses had been found about twenty-six kilometers into the forest to the east, and the wife of the hunter who had made the initial discovery early that morning voiced her own disgust with the manner of theirs deaths. Two had been slashed in vital areas, and the third had been made into a pincushion.

_Bingo._

Jiraiya wasted no time in nudging the masked jounin to his left, who had somehow managed to devour his entire plate of food without taking off the covering that should have rendered him unable to use his mouth. The two elite shinobi shared a knowing glance before darting out of the area, leaving the youngest three to pay the bill.

Jiraiya lost no time in relaying his discovery to Kakashi. Minato's student's demeanor was very quick to sharpen, and his wit didn't take long at all to do the same thing. If anyone knew where Naruto was(or had him in their custody, for that matter), it would be the two criminals undoubtedly behind the ANBU killings. On the dark side, though, the eastern forest was expansive, and it also had the characteristic of ending at a fishing port on either side of the island, be it north or south-a means of escape for anyone who needed to do so. The Hatake looked at Jiraiya blankly as he thought further. Without knowing which direction the group of missing ninja had taken from the east, settling on either point was a gamble.

While the group could split up, it seemed unwise as the situation could be an obvious trap. It was sloppy for Zabuza to leave the bodies of the ANBU intact; the last thing a person like that would want was someone having an accurate means to track them, unless…

Kakashi grimaced, his mask contorting in minimal amounts. If Zabuza did, in fact, have Naruto in his custody, there was a high chance that the man had discovered what the boy was. If that were the case, things would go downhill reasonably quickly. The browless man would become fearless of ANBU attacks, and come to depend on the bijuu's firepower. On top of that, there were those who would pay a great deal to get their hands on a jinchuurikii, and they weren't known for their gentle treatment of such people. Even so, that was the lesser of two evils. If Zabuza was truly a fool, there was a chance that he would unleash the demon in his native village intentionally. Either way, Naruto's fate would remain the same. The boy would die, and this time in a spectacularly painful fashion.

"Kakashi, we have to move quickly if you want to catch the kid." The toad sannin reminded him, suddenly carrying the air of his superior. Judging by his serous expression, the legendary toad sage either knew what they had to do. Despite all the danger the choice would involve, it was the only way their mission could be accomplished.

Kakashi nodded, and the members of his team that had been left within the vendor's stand joined the two with expectance. Before any of them had a chance to ask the jounin exactly what was going on, he asked them a rather simple question.

"North or south?" the Hatake quipped, his visible eye calculating the plan of action. Jiraiya shook his head and crossed his arms, the strange fabric of his attire rustling. He

Taken aback, Iruka just answered impulsively, "South?"

Kakashi gave yet another nod before turning to his genin and asking the question again. The two rookie ninja exchanged glances.

"North." Sasuke said resolutely.

"South." Sakura said with mirrored determination, if only to prove something to someone. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at this; he had been sure that the kunoichi would have wanted to follow him. Kakashi seemed to have been expecting the response, however, and pointed to both Iruka and Sakura in turn with his index finger.

"You two are a team. You are to head to southeast corner of the island's coastline. There is a fishing outpost there."

Kakashi then turned to point to himself and Sasuke. "The two of us with be departing in the opposite direction to a similar position, while Jiraiya shall wait in the center of the eastern coastline in case there is a distress call from either side."

"Why the sudden movement, Kakashi?" Iruka asked sharply, concern for everyone involved creeping into his voice. The jounin didn't want to waste time, but this inquiry was important. He was forced to lose a decent twenty minutes explaining what was going on to his subordinates, and the group had to form a means of communication from one shore to the other. Summon creatures made great messengers, but they were limited to the speed of their own legs. Therefore, it was decided that the teams would each use a chakra flare if they spotted the missing ninja to alert those on the opposite shore. Once that business was aside, the party wished one another luck and split into three directions, unaware that Naruto was making a plan of his own.

* * *

Author's note: You guys probably hate me. I'm not intentionally dragging things out, but my real life has been a little chaotic as of late. Some stuff happened in this chapter, but not as much as I promised. Forgive me, dear reader, for I am only human.

* * *


	42. A Switch Worth Noting

Disclaimer: We disclaimers have a brotherhood of detachment, letting you know that the author or artist responsible for the atrocities we speak for is a bloody wanker who steals the character property of others.

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki was well aware of just how stupid his plan sounded. In order to trick people who were as anally paranoid as the two mist ninja holding him hostage, he had to be crafty and nonchalant. Unfortunately, he'd never quite mastered the two characteristics. He'd gotten close, though, and the boy could only fervently pray that it was enough.

In accordance with his scheme, Naruto picked the harmless mushrooms that looked nearly exactly identical to the drugged fungus he was carrying. It was to his advantage that the two types of organism often grew side by side. If anything, it would give him a slight excuse in the eyes of his captors. The Uzumaki knew quite well that he would be caught, after all. He had banked on it. Still, he couldn't be caught until the right time, so he arranged the mushrooms so that the less desirable ones were concealed from a casual eye.

When Haku hollered for Naruto to come back to camp, a call that the missing member of team 7 was all too happy to obey. With the mushrooms in his shirt, he caught up to the black-haired boy with a triumphant smile and showed his harvest, careful to keep the more potent of the bunch towards the bottom of the pile. Predictably, Haku gave him a polite nod and allowed him to carry the food back to camp without checking it.

Zabuza the browless had already made the pile of food for the night, and Naruto was not too surprised at all to see it was a meager pile of berries. Usually there would be a fish or two accompanying the fruit, but on this particular evening there was nothing that required an open flame to cook. Obviously, the Momochi wasn't about to make a campfire this evening, which indicated just how cautious the man currently felt he should be. At first, this made Naruto somewhat confident in himself. A brief observation of the area and gestures the older man was making, however, soon quelled his hopes of having a long time to enact his plan.

Zabuza Momochi had decided the group would leave after dinner on a trip that would take them out of the Land of Waves. The meal was to be brief, and the blonde pariah of Konoha knew he had to act quickly.

Naruto stepped over to their evening's food ration without acting more conspicuous than usual. Still, he felt the Demon of the Mist train his eyes on his orange-clad back. As per the usual, Naruto pretended he didn't notice and knelt down. Without so much as a word to Zabuza, Naruto dumped his pile of mushrooms on top of the berries, rubbing his belly and looking condescendingly at Zabuza as if he had been stupid to overlook them.

Had Zabuza possessed eyebrows, Naruto was sure that the man would have had them contorted into a dubious expression. The man didn't trust the blonde's judgement, and he was probably a little unnerved by the fact Naruto hadn't started ranting or bolting when he announced their final departure. This was nothing the jinchuriiki couldn't deal with, however.

Naruto shrugged in his captor's direction with a sigh of resignation and a grumpy crossing of the arms. "If I'm not going to be able to go home, I want us to at least be full of more than rabbit food."

Typical Naruto behavior.

Haku laughed at the expression his blue-eyed friend made, having seen it so many times before- the eyes upturned until they looked like little slips against his furrowed eyebrows. His nose didn't wrinkle, but it looked like it should have with the way the youth's lips positioned themselves in a grimace that spanned as far as they could take it.

Zauza approached the pile with a slightly amused expression. While Haku may have thought Naruto's escape attempts were over, the older man was not so incredibly sure. As an ANBU, the Momochi had been taught to note even the slightest change of behavior. The fact that the boy hadn't attempted anything all day set off all the alarms in his head.

His suspicions were confirmed when he removed a mushroom from close to the inside of the pile and rolled it in his palms, recognizing the ridges with ease. The man's sharp eyes traveled up to the foreign child with irritation and continued to move through the mushrooms, picking out the ones he recognized as hazardous to his own agenda. When the man was done, he discarded seven separate clumps of fungus, leaving only the harmless ones behind.

With gusto he had prepared, Naruto watched like he was just bewildered and hungry.

"What the HELL?" he demanded, grabbing up some of the discarded fungus in his hands," I'll eat it if you don't!" he exclaimed, bringing a clump to his mouth and swallowing it whole, causing Zabuza's suspicion to commit suicide with a short laugh at the child's ignorance.

Haku wasn't exactly sure of what was going on, but he wasn't stupid. Obviously Naruto needed to be shown more about exactly which of a forest's natural assets were actually edible. Never once did it cross the young mist shinobi's mind to question his friend's intentions. Naruto had already proved that he wouldn't intentionally hurt them by bailing them out on two separate occasions. Therefore, he was a little concerned when the blonde ingested one of the removed morsels without thought of exactly why they had been removed. Having not seen the objects he had ingested up close, he couldn't help but fear that they were toxic. The fear was not alleviated by Zabuza's laughter, which often only came at the price of someone else.

Naruto's eyes started to lose focus from his position, having just swallowed what could have very well been a horse's dosage of a foreign spore. While most drugs took a while to come into effect, Naruto had both ingested and inhaled some of the fugus, and was now teetering in his crouch with a sort of sputter while Zabuza finished his short burst of laughter.

Haku darted to the foreigner's side, if only to check if everything was alright. Zabuza followed him without any sense of urgency. Hell, this would make their move easier. People in drug-induced comas were easy to transport.

"Naruto?" Haku asked tentatively, unable to see a spark of recognition when the addressed allowed his dilated eyes to fall on him. "….Naruto?" Haku asked again, voice losing any sense of masculinity. He extended his arm in front of the Uzumaki's face when he finally fell forward. He felt a spot of drool on his sleeve where the blue-eyed boy's mouth made contact with the fabric.

"Just drop him, Haku." Zabuza instructed with gruff nonchalance. His ward instantly complied, his worry leaving as soon as Naruto's even breathing broke the silence. Nothing needed to be said; obviously the kid was just sleeping.

Zabuza beckoned Haku back over and began to partake of the remains of the pile, the berries and supposedly 'safe' mushrooms eaten without worry. What they didn't know, however, was that Naruto was still very awake and aware, having eaten the untainted mushrooms he had henged to look like their crafty counterparts, while the true drugs were altered to look safe. There was something to be said about simple plans. Sometimes they really just ROCKED.

* * *

Author's note: Sorry it took me so long to turn out such a short update, but I've had a hell of two weeks. For most of my absence, I was busy helping a few towns in Oklahoma recover from floods and twisters. Remember that town we've been hearing about in the news, Picher? Yeah, I went there. I helped a guy pull the remains of buildings and cars from his fields on the outskirts. It wasn't fun to see all these people whose lives have been destroyed, but through helping them, I feel less guilt and more understanding when I write tragedy. It really happens, and I know what it looks like.

On another note, I discovered my parents are getting a divorce, and my sister had a medical emergency. Sometimes in life, rain falls. When rain falls, it's harder to get to a keyboard and type something for the enjoyment(or in some cases frustration) of others. Over 300,000 people have hit this story, and I know some hit it loyally. I thank you; if it weren't for people like you reviewers, I would have stopped.

With your encouragement, I want you to know I will finish this epic. Updates will be frequent again as soon as I know my sister's going to pull through. Thank you for your time and attention.


	43. A Fruity Escape

Disclaimer: A fear of lawyers is not a phobia; it's not irrational in any way, shape, or form.

* * *

"This isn't good; it's been hours." Iruka said, his lips drawn together in a thin and serious line.

"We have to be patient." Sakura urged gently, knowing full well that the sunset had already come and gone. The last of the fishermen had retired a while back, and had managed to return home despite the hell a paranoid Iruka gave them. The brown-haired chuunin had seemed sure that any number of them could have been their quarry. Ah, yes… Iruka.

If Sakura had thought the man had looked ragged and exhausted before, she would have gladly settled for that appearance if it would have saved her from the wild-eyed man Iruka and become in the past few hours. His hair was falling out of the ponytail he sported, and she could swear the ridges of the teacher's headband were darker than usual, signifying increased perspiration. Every now and then, Iruka would stop his mad scanning of the area to look at her with the hope of her having found something. She could only shrug when that time came, and the evening became increasingly more stressful.

The pink-haired kunoichi was beginning to regret her choice of direction. If Sasuke had been in her place, he probably could have handled constantly destroying the Umino's hope. After all, he had never had any problem obliterating hers.

Things were silent again, and the female genin could hear the sound of the waves knocking the moored boats against the dock in a soothing rhythm that was to be lost on Iruka's ears. To him, it only sounded like the ticking of a clock.

* * *

Naruto tore through the trees with as little thought or sound as possible. He had waited what he felt was a good half an hour before moving in the presence of his now-snoozing captors with a mixture of trepidation and absolute relief. They hadn't stirred, so the Uzumaki prepared to take his leave(a fairly easy task in that he owned very little). During these preparations, however, his cobalt blue eyes fell upon the uneaten berries. They were a beautiful crimson.

An impulse rose, and he tried to knock it into submission, to be honest, but he just couldn't erase his nature. Zabuza's face was so vulnerable in his drugged stupor, hairless brows stirring emotions of reproach when the Kyuubi's container so much as set eyes on them. For all the frustration and tears, Naruto couldn't deny that he owed the man something, and it wasn't a good something.

Naruto Uzumaki recounted every futile attempt at escape he had made, from the first to the last. The thought process didn't take long, but the personal vendetta hotline within his brain was at once bust on all lines.

One bad turn deserved another, right? Not really, he argued to himself, trying to stop himself from wasting any more time than he already had. Konoha, his beautiful Konoha, was without him. What would stopping to have the first true spot of fun he'd had in ages accomplish him? It's not like it would make him feel better… or would it?

Zabuza snorted, and the irritation bottled up within the Fourth Hokage's son pushed past his rationality. The bastard deserved what he was about to get a hundred times over. The Momochi would be forced to endure the prodigal genin's wrath before the departure of the youth he had kept under proverbial lock and key.

The revenge-inspired process didn't take very long. Berries were easily crushed into a paint-like substance, and were even more easily applied to the face of someone in a deep chemical-induced slumber. The paste showed up quite well on someone who was stupid enough to sleep with white gauze on, anyway.

Naruto let a rare giggle out as he sketched out a pair of kissing lips on the so-called 'demon's' mask, and went on to give the man rosy cheeks, a beauty mark, and two very well-defined eyebrows before finally ditching the rogue shinobi's campsite for good.

Through the next few hours that passed, Naruto made great progress through the forest in what he had made an educated guess was the direction of Inari's village. If he could find the village, he could find a postal service and roads. As a precautionary measure, Naruto had sent three bunshins out as decoys, which wound around the forest in an impossible spiraling pattern. In the meantime, the true Naruto barreled into the northwest by the guidance of the stars until misfortune inevitably struck again.

* * *

Jiraiya's face perked up from a toad's back as he sensed chakra activity. It was faint and distant, but the sannin was almost sure it had happened. He tried to reach out and pinpoint the source, but the chakra echo proved too weak.

"Keep your senses peeled, eh?" the summon toad he was situated on laughed heartily. Jiraiya hummed in assent. If what they both felt wasn't just a trick of imagination, they might beat the progress of the other two groups by a landslide.

* * *

Clouds covered the sky as night progressed, and the blonde ninja cursed. He had hoped that wouldn't happen, and there really was no way he could have made a back-up plan for such a variable. Zabuza himself hadn't possessed a compass, and Naruto hadn't dared ask the secret behind the man's innate sense of direction. If that request didn't scream 'escape attempt', he didn't know what would.

Rain began to fall from the sky over the forest and parts of the northern shoreline, and Naruto growled at it under his breath. He needed a drink of water, and he had briefly thought about needing a shower, but this was ridiculous. What would it take for things to actually work for him, even once?

The drug he had administered to Haku and his dolled-up master would only keep them out for a good seven hours or so, and he had banked on being able to escape by then. If they woke up… Naruto would probably never have another nonviolent means of escape in their lifetimes. The Uzumaki had come too far to give up so easily. He had to run, even if he didn't know where he was going anymore.

* * *

Kakashi waited in a fishing boat under the guise of a man working overtime. Sasuke, in turn, had been forced to play the part of his son. The two floated ever-so-slightly out into the harbor and dropped their nets, and judging by the way the boat teetered informed the two that they had actually caught something. Not wanting the boat to capsize, the duo of ninja took turns releasing the fish that had managed to entwine themselves in the nets. This practice went on long into the night, it seemed, while Kakashi's visible eyes kept itself on the horizon.

Time stretched on, and a rain-soaked Sasuke Uchiha dozed off in their small vessel. The jounin didn't bother to wake him, and eventually the Hatake couldn't help but fear that his guess of Naruto's position had been wrong. If he had been incorrect, then their chances of finding the genin were little to none. If it hadn't been for the rain, Kakashi would have sent Pakkun out on a wild goose chase. They couldn't allow the kid to slip out from under their noses when they could have been so close!

In one of the few hours before dawn broke, Zabuza Momochi stirred with one hell of a headache. His eyes throbbed, but the man didn't need more then four seconds to become completely coherent. It was a rare gift to wake up so qickly, but it was how the mist ninja was built.

The upper area of Zabuza's face itched terribly, but he ignored it in face of the current situation. Fury emanated from the wanted criminal as he discovered his missing captive.

"That brat!" he would have bellowed if he could have, but in the interest of caution, he just hissed. Naruto had left four separate trails for him to follow, but Zabuza's ANBU instincts picked one and guided him down it. He wasn't about to let a potential bijuu get away.

* * *

Author's note: Another short chapter, but it covered a lot of ground plotwise. I could have dragged this out, guys, but I let some of the quality bleed out in exchange for brevity. You will have your chapter this day.

By the way, my sister is feeling a little better, and my brother is begging me to take him to the public pool. Well, one of them. I have nine siblings, so getting enough time to write this bugger is sometimes a trick, because it is very demanding. ...Proofreaders? DocX does nothing you can't do with your own browser. o.o


	44. Say No To Palpatine

Disclaimer: I am not Kishimoto. I am a teenager who wastes her spare time.

* * *

Zabuza Momochi's monstrously powerful feet passed from tree limb to tree limb, touching on each only long enough for his powerful muscles to ripple and coil for another jump. With his long legs, he had an immediate advantage over his smaller prey. Jinchuriiki or no, a child was a child. Their legs were shorter, and he knew quite well that for the past three and a half weeks the blonde he was chasing had shared his training routine. There was no way for the foreigner to outrun him without awakening the demon that Zabuza was nearly sure was nestled within him; an awakening that would be easily sensed.

The chase lasted nearly two hours before Zabuza caught sight of a tell-tale streak of orange through the rainy night.

Naruto Uzumaki's third doppleganger was able to hear the forest rustle around him. The shadow clone spent no time in relaying this to his identical counterparts throughout the forest, causing even the original shinobi to gain a sense of direction. His timing was perfect, because within seconds of this communication, the infamous Demon of the Mist was upon him, giant sword poised to take off his legs.

Naruto's duplicate swerved out of the strike's path as well as the second one that followed, more than slightly alarmed at the amount of violent intent Zabuza was showing. The man had been crazed and angry before, but it seemed now that Zabuza was trying to end the conflict as quickly as possible.

"I know what you are, kid. You aren't getting away." Zabuza stated, almost as if he had read the blonde's mind. "You're coming with me to the Village Hidden in Mist."

Naruto's clone swerved out of the way of another pass at his limbs awkwardly, taking in a gasp of air as he processed the information through Naruto's collective brain. The ever tight-lipped Kyuubi had to be as aware of the danger as he was. There was no way in hell he was going with this man now. The thought of what he intended to do with the demonic occupant in his body sent shivers through the clone's spine.

"I thought you owed me!" the clone retaliated, thrusting a few quick taijutsu attacks of his own, though his skill was mediocre at best; none did any real damage, and the last few blows not even connecting.

"You can live without an arm." Zabuza swerved and pulled a short water-jutsu that was intended to put his opponent of balance, but again the blonde jumped out of the way.

"After you help me destroy the Mizukage with your little tailed-beast friend, you'll be reward-" the man began gruffly, only for the kid's voice to interrupt him.

"I'll NEVER release the Kyuubi. Not for you, not for anyone!" the bunshin vented, leaping over another swipe of Zabuza's blade and landing behind him.

"You don't have a choice, kid!" Zabuza shouted, turning around with his eyes wild.

In the distance, the true Uzumaki was homing in on his doppelganger's location. In all truth, he couldn't even retain the slightest shred of hope for escape as long as the criminal was conscious. To be honest, he had a feeling that his escape might amount to what it had become. Zabuza had a high recovery rate. It was nothing on his, of course, but still impressive in many regards.

Within the fifteen minutes it took him to reach the Momochi, Naruto felt his doppelganger's defeat at Zabuza's hands. The shadow clone had been stalling well, but Zabuza must have finally succeeded in his 'amputation' of an arm only to be rewarded by a puff of smoke.

Naruto summoned his remaining shadow clones to his side and more than tripled their ranks for their charge on the eyebrow-less man's position. The massive amount of chakra it took to create fifteen shadow clones wasn't subtle; the blue-eyed son of the yondaime was sure Zabuza would be prepared, which he was. Fortunately for Naruto, however, his not-so-stealthy technique was detected by more than just his adversary.

* * *

Jiraiya's head turned towards the forest quickly. Something was going on within it, and he was now convinced it wasn't his imagination. Chakra flared from a position some seven kilometers southwest of his position. If the white-haired man hadn't been paying attention, he might have missed a fluctuation at such a distance.

The toad on which the sannin was seated stirred from a sort of repose, jerked into awareness by a pat to the head.

"…Jiraiya…?" it asked, recognizing the determined face above it instantly. The two shared an expression of understanding. It was time to go.

* * *

Naruto's miniature attack force leapt at the black-haired former ANBU captain from all angles. For the most part, Zabuza swerved out of their way. He had been prepared for the assault, and dissipated two at once with a single concentrate blast of water-natured chakra.

"I thought you wanted respect! I could have given it to you" Zabuza laughed deeply, thrusting his blade downwards into a whiskered face. It glared at him and caught the sword's blade with its own hands, which pressed onto it with rage.

"I want to go home!" Naruto's lips informed him through gritted teeth. Zabuza increased the force behind his blade, surprised with the sudden resistance. The boy's hand shook, the blade beginning to draw blood. Zabuza was aware tat he caught the original when the chakra copies vanished into oblivion.

"Go home to what? You have no home." Zabuza growled, pushing his sword further with chakra-fueled strength. The boy below him made a pained sound and began pushing the sword upwards again. In spurts, his chakra began to leak around the wound.

"You're wrong!" Naruto retorted, disarming his opponent with an anger-fueled burst of strength. "I want to be back where I belong! I want to be hit for things that weren't my fault! I want to sleep in my bed with my dream alive!"

Zabuza's sword flew from his grip, forcing the man to retrieve it. In the time that bought him, Naruto got back to his feet defiantly. With Zabuza's eyes boring into him, Naruto leveled himself and executed a few handsigns, and was soon flanked by more bunshin.

"You're alone, kid. Anyone can hear you moan in your sleep." Zabuza grunted and picked up his blade again. "-and if you won't stop this foolishness, I can't say you'll stay alive."

The Uzumaki stepped forward with another attack, throwing a chakra-infused kunai that missed.

"You aren't even trying to kill me, are you? You talk about going home, but for something you want, you won't even hurt an enemy? You are more deluded than I thought."

Naruto's face contorted with rage, and in the center of his irises, a scarlet bud began to bloom. His teeth began to painfully expand, and he felt his body fill with a burning adrenaline.

"Is that a threat to my life?" he asked, his voice almost foreign to him. Zabuza's haughty confidence was beginning to transform into horror.

The kyuubi's power coursed through him like a jolt, and within fractions of a second, Naruto was on him with a massive amount of chakra condensed into a small ball of energy he held.

"Ra….sen…ga-!" he began to shout, nearly losing himself in the violent tide of the Kyuubi's urges before snapping out of it. Haku…

Zabuza had braced himself for the final blow, but it didn't come. The chakra keeping him immobile dispersed like a cloud of smoke, and the bijuu he had been fighting had reverted, breathing heavily.

"I will not kill you, Zabuza." the blonde declared, despite his position, "-and I will not return with you…even if I die."

Zabuza's shock channeled into mocking laughter at the new turn of events. The kid before him was pathetic! He had harnessed absolute power and thrown it away. As much as the elite shinobi hated them, he couldn't help with Akatsuki's need to separate a beast from the host before controlling them. Perhaps he was wrong about the usefulness of the kid. He could train the boy al he wanted, but if the youth couldn't e reasonable…

He couldn't just let the boy go, either. The complications of that decision far outweighed the benefits. The best option was to put the kid down.

_I'll just tell Haku he went to puppy dog heaven._

"So be it."

He approached the jinchuriiki again with his sword drawn, and Naruto shut his eyes, already trying to formulate his plan for when he repeated the last day of his life. Of course, what he hadn't expected was the short curse from the man who was supposed to be taking his life.

Naruto's blue eyes widened at the newcomer who had put Zabuza down with one strike. There, in the rain, stood the man Naruto had looked up to more than any other in his brief life. From the back of a summoned toad, said man looked at him with bewilderment.

The Toad Sage froze. Between the bright-colored clothing, bushy blonde hair, and bright blue eyes, no one could blame him for doing so. He had been surprised when he felt the kid master his own demon from a distance, but he hadn't thought.. There was no way in hell he was in the realm of reality at all.

With a numb hand, Jiraiya let out his chakra flare. Kakashi and he were going to have a long talk later.

* * *

Author's note: Please don't kill me. If you do, there will be no fanfic. You won't get to know what happens.


	45. At Long Last

Disclaimer: Sucka', you know darn well that I ain't tellin' no lies when I say this anime ain't mine.

* * *

The signal Jiraiya set off lit up the rainy skies like lightning. The toad sage had no doubts that the two groups of shinobi would converge on his position soon. Still, there would be a gap when it was just Naruto and himself. Naruto, who was the child he named all those years ago.

The toad sage looked at the youth and sighed. The blonde was shaking(crying, presumably) and hadn't looked at him since the initial rescue. It was understandable that he would be frightened; the kid had almost been killed. On top of that, he was saved by a complete stranger that could be after him for any given number of reasons.

"Naruto," Jiraiya said simply, dismounting very slowly from his giant amphibian, "Naruto Uzumaki?"

There was a nod from the blonde mass, and the Toad Hermit approached the kid very slowly.

"I am part of a retrieval team from Konoha. We're going to take you home. Your sensei will be here in a minute."

The kid seemed inconsolable. The airy sobs wracked his entire body, and Jiraiya had to wonder exactly how many layers of hell the kid had been forced through at the hands of the man the sannin had just knocked out. Jiraiya's surprise could be imagined, then, when Naruto slowly raised his head to reveal a dazzling smile that would have put Gai to shame. Tears streamed down his cheeksa nd left trails of washed skin, but they weren't tears of sorrow. Naruto Uzumaki was laughing hysterically.

"How did you f-find me?!" he managed to ask between fits, and Jiraiya regarded him curiously.

"Can I assume you wanted to be found?" the white-haired man asked before holding his canteen out to the boy he now recognized as Minato's son. The kid reached for it and took a swig only to inhale it. His laughter turned into coughing for a few seconds before nodding, and Jiraiya let out an inward sigh of relief. If the Uzumaki had left the village on purpose, things would become even more complicated.

"In that case, I believe your sensei said something about a squirrel. Ring any bells?" the infamous pervert asked and stroked his chin, waiting for an answer.

Naruto's laughter ceased when the words hit his ears. For a moment, he didn't believe them. Out of all of his 147 attempts at escape and communication, there was no way in hell he heard Jiraiya correctly. He had bled for those chances. There was no way that the stupidest plan(and least painful) he had worked.

"The squirrel?" he asked, his voice hushed.

"Something like that." the toad sage answered, his eyebrows tilting in thought.

"The squirrel worked?" he asked again, almost robotically. The author of the Icha Icha series could only watch as the youth paled and drew himself into a ball. "The one I tied the leaf on? The WILD squirrel I tied the leaf on?"

"It would seem so."

Naruto's laughter came back, and this time with a vengeance. It plagued him for a full ten minutes before leaving him a breathless heap.

* * *

Iruka had bolted the instant he spotted the flare, Sakura trailing behind him. The schoolteacher had nearly given up hope altogether when the signal had finally appeared. It felt like his heart was bungee-jumping; one minute it would plummet into his stomach, and the next it would leap into his throat. He couldn't take the stress much longer, but thankfully, it seemed he wouldn't have to. If Naruto was alive, he would be just a little further ahead.

Sakura held onto Iruka's arm for dear life, her legs only occasionally making contact with surfaces below her. She could run, but she couldn't hope to keep up with the brown-haired man's current pace. His legs were stronger, longer, and on top of it all, he was desperate.

* * *

Kakashi had very efficiently gone about waking Sasuke up and cleaning up their tracks when he saw the flare. As always, he seemed to have a routine. Everything was done the way it supposed to be done, and every paddle of the boat towards shore was made in uniform strokes. Sasuke had no problem with this approach; there wasn't any need for conversation, emotion, or attachment. The procedures gave the two a sense of security, as well as a way to work through the unease they unwittingly shared. Kakashi, it seemed, bore the worst of it.

Now that Naruto had been found, there were other concerns to deal with. If he had been mistreated, Kakashi would have hell to pay(and not just at the hands of Iruka and the Sandaime). Also, if somehow, they had been too late in spite of all their efforts, the Hatake just didn't think he could take it anymore. He was a strong man, but the mischievous Uzumaki had nearly tried trying to defend him once; that wasn't the sort of thing a person forgot. And his face… Obito's expressions on Minato's face… It was like something out of a deranged storybook.

If someone in heaven was trying to give him a second chance, they had a very sick way of going about it.

Despite the fact they were further away from Jiraiya's position, Iruka and a very windblown Sakura were the first to arrive. While he had been running until that very moment, the moment the two figures came into his line of sight, he slowed to almost a halt.

He recognized Naruto immediately, which could have been considered a feat as the boy he was slowly approaching was emaciated and filthy. The radiant blonde hair he remembered was matted with blood and dirt and hacked away unevenly, like someone had been trying to take off the boy's head and missed. The jacket the youth normally wore was wrapped around his waist in tatters, and his bare back was covered in small lacerations that were visibly receding by the second.

Sakura had let go of Iruka by this time, but she was just as stunned as her former teacher. Sitting not too far ahead of her was the one person she doubted she'd ever see alive again. Until that moment, she had still thought the past few days could have been a dream.

"N…Naruto?" Iruka asked, barely trusting his own voice.

Hearing his teacher's utterance of his name, the subject of their unsurpassed attention slowly turned around to reveal his dirty face. Like the rest of him, it seemed tired and somewhat thinner than they remembered. It was not without a tinge of sympathy that Sakura noted the tear-trails on the boy's cheeks.

For a second, Naruto's bright blue eyes stared at them in disbelief. The shock soon passed, however, and Iruka had very little warning before the filthy mass of Naruto's body was launched at him, knocking him over in a tight hug.

"Iruka-sensei…!"

The brown-haired found himself returning the hug more harshly than he had intended. He didn't care that the child smelled terrible. He didn't even mind the mysterious globs of swamp-mud that were now seeping into his vest. Naruto Uzumaki, his little brother, was safe and alive, and that was all that mattered. It felt like a burden the size of an Akamichi had unlatched itself from the chuunin's ribcage, and he laughed.

Sakura watched the faces of Iruka and Naruto as the two were reunited. She had never seen a human being so happy to see another. All of the madness that had taken hold of Iruka unraveled, and the freakish defense mechanisms were slowly disarmed.

It was the first time, she realized, that she had seen Naruto appear accepted in an embrace at all. She should have known that her blonde teammate was a touchy-feely person.

Naruto and Iruka let go of one another when Kakashi and Sasuke arrived, carrying a professional air of restraint. Kakashi didn't even walk over to Naruto first. Before anything, the jounin walked over to the sannin responsible for their reunion and took him aside to speak. If Naruto hadn't known Kakashi from the future, he may have been insulted by the man's choice to forego even greeting him. He knew otherwise now, though. He was afraid; just as Sasuke and Sakura were nervous with not knowing how they were supposed to react.

The blue-eyed jinchuriiki approached Sakura first. He was surprised to find the kunoichi's hair as sheared as it was after the chuunin exam. While at once very happy to see her, he was more nervous than she was. He wanted to apologize, hug her, and tell her how hard he tried, but he was afraid. Whatever had prompted her to cut her hair could have had other effects, and the last thing he wanted was for her to hate him. Still, he was prepared for the blow he could tell was coming. He had worried her, and he knew the spontaneous violence was to be expected.

"Sakura-chan, I'm very, very so-" he began, only to feel two fingers on his lips.

"You have a lot of nerve to apologize to me after all this, Naruto." the pink-haired girl named after the cherry blossom had a few angry tears in her eyes. Suddenly, the Uzumaki was alarmed.

"You'd better be ready, because I'm going to give you what you deserve for all you've done to me, Naruto."

The addressed cringed. He had been expecting some hostility, but he had thought Sakura was better than to keep him from telling her she was sorry for the sake of her own anger. His cobalt blue eyes watched as his female teammate's fist balled up and made a swift path for his face. He couldn't bring himself to dodge, but the result was less than painful. A warm sensation engulfed his left cheek, and in a movement so fast he thought he imagined it, he felt two lips press on the side.

"S-sakura-chan..?" he stammered, turning red beneath the caked grime," What are you doing?!"

"Thank you, Naruto, for saving my life." There was a red tinge to the Haruno's face as she took a step back. In contrast, the Uchiha's face went white as a sheet at the sight.

Naruto Uzumaki stared at his female friend vacantly, unable to process what had just happened. Sakura Haruno, the girl he had loved since before he could remember, had just kissed him. Before he was able to feel any more glee, however, the girl in question punched him in the face for real and began to yell.

The ranting of an incensed kunoichi were rather easy to keep up with when you understood the base material. All you had to do was apologize at every other pause and allow yourself to take anything they dished out. If you were lucky, you came out with everything intact. Fortune smiled on Naruto Uzumaki in that respect, and he came out of Sakura's bitter lecture with little more than two lack eyes and a bloody nose, leaving him to deal with a very uncomfortable Uchiha.

Sasuke looked at Naruto with uncertainty after Sakura walked a short distance away. He bit the insides of his lip, unsure of what he was supposed to do. Yes, he had been worried about Naruto, and of course he was angry, but he had treated the two emotions like toxic waste. Like everyone else, the blonde idiot had gotten to him. In his way, Sasuke was happy.

"Turns out we had to save you after all, Moron." Sasuke said, smirk forming to match his smug words. In the end, their rivalry simplified a lot of things.

Naruto didn't take any sort of bait from this. He just smiled sadly and shrugged. "Well, I knew his highness needed the exercise."

Sasuke grunted indignantly, but he couldn't help but smile as Jiraiya and Kakashi waved him aside. It was nice to have that never-wavering counterbalance that Naruto embodied.

Kakashi approached his long-lost student with the stiffness of a board. Naruto couldn't quite tell what was disturbing the man so much, but it wasn't his job to know. He was happy to see his teacher again, even if his capture could be considered every bit as much the jounin's fault as his own. The Uzumaki had made his own choices, and in the end, Kakashi had always seemed to want what was best for him. Perhaps that was what compelled Naruto to say what he did to his instructor.

"Sorry I'm late," Naruto informed his teacher with a scratch to the back of his own head, "I got lost on the road of life."

Kakashi's face blanched. "Y-you.." he said, sounding angry but unsure,"-you are never to disobey my orders again, Uzumaki!" he shouted. The jounin then blinked, just once, and Naruto was suddenly hugging him. The sensation left him feeling more vulnerable than a nightmare in which he was forced to face off against his former ANBU squad naked. At the same time, it tore at his emotional walls.

Naruto hadn't judged him. He hadn't even held the jounin responsible.

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Author's note: Fluffy enough? I have a few loose ends to tie up next chapter, but I hope I ddnt let you guys down. This chapter... is finally over. I did it.


	46. Rubber Ducky, You're the One

Disclaimer: I'm hungry, and I don't own Naruto. I don't know which is worse.

* * *

No matter how pure a person's intentions were, or how much they suffered on the behalf of others, it was surprisingly easy to have them doubt your intentions. Naruto learned that lesson very quickly while he tried to convince his fellow leaf ninja to spare Zabuza Momochi from the death he most likely deserved through words.

Iruka didn't bother contradicting Naruto throughout the entirety of the discussion, but he couldn't help but wonder what the real reasons for saving the wanted criminal's life were.

"_He did what was right to him." the blonde had defended,"-and I promise you that was the first time he tried to kill me!" _

Somehow, that argument wasn't very comforting. It merely added to the fraternal rage that the Umino had become the container to after seeing Naruto as ragged as he was. If it weren't for the Kyuubi, the chuunin was sure that there would be a great deal more physical scarring. People didn't get kidnapped by power-hungry missing ninja and escape unscathed, and there was no way in heaven or earth that Naruto Uzumaki would betray his village.

Kakashi seemed far more at ease with Naruto's pleas. While he at first had some reservations about Naruto's loyalty, it only made sense that he would want to keep Zabuza alive after all the hell he'd gone through to make sure everyone he could save was still breathing. Understanding this, Kakashi sided with his shortest genin through the objections of everyone else. There would be repercussions to the decision, but Naruto was going to have to face an ANBU investigation when he arrived home in Konoha anyway. It was protocol for any shinobi who went AWOL, whether Kakashi agreed with it or not.

Jiraiya was by far the most confused by this turn of events. Why would the prodigal ninja even bother to worry about a wanted criminal who had almost killed him? He seriously doubted that Minato's son had become a spy for a person who had separated him from his village until he was desperate enough to send out a message on a wild animal(or tried to kill him, for that matter). Still, the blonde had repeatedly pushed for the man's life, and in the end, Zabuza Momochi was left unconscious and sopping wet on the forest floor.

* * *

Haku's gentle voice was what brought him out of his involuntary slumber. It sounded hurt, but not nearly enough to make Zabuza care in any way. Without opening his eyes, he knew that the jinchuuriiki had escaped his grasp, and without opening his eyes, he knew that his young ward was attending to a wound he'd sustained while attempting to kill said bijuu container.

"Master Zabuza?" the familiar effeminate voice urged him to stir further, as Haku had noticed the change in the older man's breathing patterns. Zabuza groaned. The question directed at him may have been nothing more than a two-word address, but it had undertones of a different question-one that he would answer in time. For now, however, Haku would just have to settle for not knowing exactly what had gone on. The two's schedule hadn't changed, and they still needed to leave the country before a new set of ANBU found their location.

* * *

Naruto kept pace with the rest of the group as they headed for Tazuna's house after assuring the group that he could handle running. The trip was strangely silent, thanks to Kakashi's orders to hold their questions until they'd reached their destination, and Naruto couldn't help but be uneasy. He had gotten his wish to be reunited with his friends, but he felt a pang of guilt in knowing what he had put them through.

Ahead, he could see Iruka's head turn to look at him from time to time, checking to see if he was still present with them. Similarly, he could feel the pervy sage's eyes boring a hole in the back of his skull for whatever reason. On top of that, Sakura carefully avoided looking at him altogether. If he could read their minds, life would have been so much easier right then.

"Oh, Kami…my feet hurt." Sakura's voice grumbled, jerking Naruto out of his introversion. He looked to the rear of the group to find her struggling to find a foothold on a limb. Without so much as a word, Naruto took a leap backwards and offered her his hand, which she looked at in mild horror. Instead of taking it, she bounded ahead, leaving a somewhat hurt Uzumaki in her wake.

What was wrong with his hand, anyway? Naruto looked down at it to find nothing amiss, and Sasuke gave an amused expression when he sensed is rival's distress.

"What's the big deal?" Naruto asked no one in particular, bounding from tree to tree once more.

"Probably the smell, moron." Sasuke informed his semi-friend from the left, prompting a glare from his blonde companion.

"You try smelling like a flower after a month in a wet forest." he muttered, all of his guilt vanishing with the familiar Uchiha-induced annoyance crawling under his skin.

The rest of the journey to Tazuna's house went on without incident. It was nearly noon when the group arrived at the familiar building, and Naruto had never thought it would look so beautiful. The thought of having a full meal and a bath was enough to make him drool. His body, though supplied with energy by Kyuubi, was really beginning to have enough of the strain put on it.

When Tazuna's daughter opened the door, she had to admit she wasn't prepared for the crowd of six shinobi, let alone the one who was presumed dead bowing at her feet. She watched in amusement as the young ninja kissed the floorboards and then looked at her with sparkling blue eyes. When her initial shock wore off, she recognized the expression Naruto was giving her(a noverbal and infantile plea for food).

"Well, you all must be very hungry!" she chimed, extricating Naruto's starving hands from her skirt,"-I'll go prepare something in the kitchen.

"Get up, Naruto, you're making a fool of yourself." Kakashi said gruffly. His student regarded him from the floor that he was currently rolling around on happily.

"-and you're making a mess of their floor."

"Oh, er… my bad." Naruto stammered, barely having enough time to sit up before an awe-stricken voice called his name.

"NARUTO?!"

Naruto looked up to see Inari stumble down the stairs in his baggy work coveralls. The boy's eyes were brighter than he had seen them before, and his skin looked like it had seen a lot more sunlight.

"Hi, Inari!" Naruto responded casually, holding up his hand in a wave. The builder's grandson was in front of his face within seconds.

"You look terrible! Are you okay?!" Inari pressed, actually sounding his age with his excitability.

"Yeah; told you I wouldn't die." Naruto assured the younger kid, giving him a thumbs up.

"Where were you?" the black-haired child inquired.

"Lost." came Naruto's immediate reply.

"You didn't come back just because you were lost?" Inari gaped, misunderstanding the simplicity of his role model's answer. "Why didn't you ask for directions?"

Somewhere in the room, Iruka snorted with mirth.

Naruto didn't bother validating that particular question with an answer, and he knew he wouldn't hear the end of this anytime soon.

During the meal that followed, Naruto thanked Tsunami for the meal voraciously. Every other bite was marked with a chorus of praise for her cooking before he was silenced by a smack to the back of the head. Inari's mother didn't mind, though.

After lunch, Naruto recounted his life as Zabuza's hostage. He left out a few parts(it should be no mystery as to which were omitted), but the process did take some time. Every now and then, there would be a sound of disbelief or an interruption, and Naruto noticed that Iruka's face was steadily growing paler. Kakashi took notes on his testimony, which he then placed onto his summon beast's collar with a report.

Shortly after the Hatake sent Pakkun as a courier to Konoha, it was unanimously decided that Naruto was to take two baths, the first being a dip in the lake outside. As if to add insult to injury, it was also unanimously(after some hand movements from Kakashi) decided that there was to be someone watching him at any given time, as the situation required. With Zabuza still alive(people weren't too happy with him for that decision), and his loyalty still legally in question, he was't even allowed to bathe unaccompanied. When Sasuke was assigned to be Naruto's watchdog, it was unclear as to who was more unhappy with the idea.

* * *

Author's note: Two trips down, one to go! I am having quite a summer. Sorry about shortness... I...er...was mimicking Hemmingway!(o-o)

Thanks for all the praise, guys. (You know who you are)


	47. An Envelope, Darkly

Disclaimer: Naruto is a product of Masashi Kishimoto and another component that may just be a touch of awesome mixed with the blood of the innocent.

* * *

Naruto's avid movements within a dream woke Sakura from her own. The Haruno sent a kick in his general direction with a drowsy whine even though his sleepng mat was on the other side of the room. Having gotten that out of her system, the kunoichi attempted to reclaim her slumber only to find that she had no ability to go back to sleep. With an insomniac's discomfort, she peered out the nearest window to recognize the earliest streaks of dawn, giving her about two more hours before Kakashi woke them up officially.

"Damn it, Naruto." she cursed quietly, barely hearing herself over a new strain of energetic movements from her sleeping blonde comrade. Curiously, she looked over to his bedroll to see a variety of expressions cross his whiskered face. Sakura couldn't tell what kind of a dream he was having, but the loud-mouthed idiot truly was giving it his all. She didn't know how long she had been watching him when his eyes suddenly shot open, but the awareness within them startled her. Insinctively, she pretended to be asleep.

For whatever reason, he was fully awake, panting. His hands reached out and patted the ground around him as the Uzumaki felt the floorboards and blanket. Like a disoriented animal, he looked around himself frantically for about thirty seconds before taking a deep breath and saying something softly enough that she couldn't pick up on it. His sleep-flushed face then relaxed, making way for a smile that was one she was familiar with. She felt his cobalt eyes turn to her, Sasuke, and all the others in the room in turn before he said something else and laid back down, something that she could almost make out. It sounded like a promise.

Within a few minutes, she could hear Naruto's rhythmic breathing again, telling her that the blonde was asleep once more. While Sakura was confused, she felt she had witnessed something she shouldn't have, and continued to pretend to be asleep for a decent hour and a half before Kakashi's hand pulled her pillow out from underneath her.

* * *

Naruto woke up feeling abnormally refreshed when Kakashi woke him up with Sasuke's pillow smothering his face. Without so much as a muttered protest, Naruto shoved the jounin's gloved hand back and shot up like a plant created by a jutsu.

"Morning, Sensei." he greeted, rubbing his eyes to help alleviate the headrush sitting up so quickly had caused, feeling a hand reach over him to reclaim its owner's pillow. The motion was intrusive, and Naruto instinctively caught the arm and twisted it into submission before hearing the pain of the person it belonged to. Of course, that was followed by a counter-kick by said person, and before long, the regularly-scheduled early argument between Sasuke and Naruto began. Granted, it was ended within about thirty seconds by the otherwise scheduled blow to the back of their heads from another source(Iruka).

Sakura watched the proceedings with a faux haggard expression. Normally, she would have immediately chosen to side with Sasuke and yell at her less fortunate teammate. This time, however, she just let the sound of their bickering sink in as she went about her early morning business. Somehow, it seemed like music to her ears.

Breakfast was set before long, and the ninja from Konohagure ate with the bridge-builder's family one last time before packing up and saying their farewells. Naruto beamed at Inari's transformation into a hard worker at that point, and he lost no time with emparting some of his 'wisdom' to the younger boy. Despite the not-so-subtle hints his grandfather dropped, Inari had to practically be dragged away so that the group of shinobi could take their leave.

Team seven bickered pleasantly on the bridge, and Naruto's political predicament was all but forgotten as his company was enjoyed where it was missed. The Uzumaki's heart welled with a reluctant joy that had been in place ever since the first time it had been revealed that he meant anything to anyone. After a few rounds of picking fights, Naruto opted to change the subject to one he needed to become familiar with as he travelled.

"So, eh... what did I miss back home, then?" Naruto blurted out, causing the topic to do a backfip from the heated discussion over dessert foods that had occupied it before. In turns, Iruka and Kakashi explained how all of Konoha had been faring in his absence, from a few isolated crimes to the state of his house. Naruto's reaction to hearing his house had been looted was not one they were expecting, either. The young ninja just calmly asked if his floors and walls were still in place.

Guilt colored Sakura's face when that question surfaced. Hesitantly, she explained what she had done with his secret stash, and neglected to mention the more...questionable things within the pile she had uncovered. Naruto looked scared when she first mentioned she had taken out his envelopes, but when she explained that she hadn't opened them, he visibly calmed.

"Do you have them with you?" he asked, eyes somewhat hopeful.

"I left them with the hokage." Sakura replied, seeing the fear within Naruto reinvent itself. Fortunately, she decided it was shame from having more naughty pictures in his posession being taken in by an elder instead of the truth,"-but I wouldn't worry. I don't think he cares."

"I thought he said it was a grocery stipend. Scared of losing your allowance, moron?" Sasuke added, and Naruto gave him a nervous laugh. If the hokage had identified it as a grocery stipend, then he was safe, for now.

"I guess I have bigger things to be worrying about." Naruto stated, and changed the subject once again to avert suspicion. "Will I be able to move back into my apartment?" the boy asked, prompting a thoughtful expression to grace Kakashi's features.

"Probably not, to be honest with you. Once something is legally reclaimed, it's hard to undo it. Bureaucracy tends to be like that." the man admitted, silently cursing the paper-based system for being born.

Naruto didn't admit that he didn't know what the term 'bureaucracy' meant, but he got the gist of what Kakashi was trying to say to him. "So... where will I live?"

"I'm sure the hokage will take care of it, Naruto." Iruka assured him with a mature smile, "-but until then, you can stay at my place, if you want."

"Really?!" Naruto asked, his spirit rising both visually and verbally before the moment was disturbed by another voice-Jiraiya's.

The infamous toad sage was not one to wallow in regrets. He was one to run away from it. It was to his credit, then, that he was still with the group once they crossed over the bridge. Even now that his short-term promise had been fulfilled, his long-forgotten vow sometimes stared him in the face.

The ridiculous expressions the child gave while bantering with his peers were like echoes of the past, haunting him with his biggest mistake(which was, amazingly, nothing involving the jugs of another sannin). Now, a chance set itself before him. He could let things drift back to how they used to be and continue his prodigal son lifestyle, or he could redeem himself in his own eyes.

"I... I think I may have some business in Konoha, as well." the older man said, sounding very self-important.

"Good for you." Kakashi said nonchalantly, patting the larger man on the back as Naruto beamed at his chuunin mentor. "-but you do know that Naruto probably will be spending the night in ANBU custody when we get back."

Iruka rounded on his superior with a grimace. "Kakashi, Naruto hasn't done anything illegal! Durely, the hokage can convince the ANBU to..."

The Hatake remained unfazed. "The council will probably be predisposed to believe he has returned as a criminal. You know this as well as I do, Iruka."

Naruto watched the adults bicker impassively. He had been so enthusiastic about living with Iruka that he had forgotten about the standard procedure for his return. He would be interrogated, to be sure... and if he happened to be assigned to a grudge-carrying interrogator, or worse, somebody who could probe his entire brain, he'd have a lot of explaining to do. Thankfully, there was another option. Knowing that the Sandaime had seen the inside of his envelopes already, Naruto could only hope that the truth would set him free.

"I'll talk to the old man about it, Iruka-sensei. Don't worry." the boy assured his first friend with conviction; not conviction in his statement, but conviction in the fact that his future rested in the hands of an old man's reaction to a few pieces of paper.

* * *

Author's note: I moved. Divorce displaced me. I no have computer. I also have no grammar here now in this place. Paper is neat. I missed you all.


	48. Stupidity By Starlight

Disclaimer: I changed my mind about Masashi's inspiration for Naruto. I think it might have acid involved.

* * *

The second and final night of camp for team seven and company started out as a reasonably comfortable evening. Between the pleasant weather and low-key mood that the camp created, very few words were exchanged during what was a magnificent sunset.  
Sasuke Uchiha distantly admired the colors of twilight and brought the last rice cracker of the package to his lips. Unfortunately, his mind was still abuzz with many loosely conjoined thoughts. None of them were pleasant, and very few of them were positive to his bodily health. His calm mask was difficult to read, however, and even Kakashi didn't sense the steady flow of hatred from the black-haired genin that evening, and left him alone.

Naruto watched the sky from Sasuke's right after making sure there was elbow space between them. He stared at the golden horizon for a decent twenty minutes before he felt someone sit down beside him. The newcomer cleared her throat delicately, and Naruto turned his head to see Sakura looking at him nervously, the sun shining brilliantly on her pale hair.  
The Uzumaki gulped, his hormones attempting to break through from his adolescent body.  
"Naruto," she addressed him formally,"-I've been meaning to ask you something."  
Apprehension wracked his frame. "Y-yes, Sakura-chan?"  
"Why did you give this to me?" she asked, pulling the rich wooden summoning scroll case out of her satchel. Naruto's puberty-driven haze cleared to make way for confusion.  
"Give you what?" he murmured, not being familiar with the object before him at all. "-I would have given you my things, Sakura, I really would, but I think I would remember i-"  
"This summoning contract!" she clarified, sounding suddenly impatient. "Why did you send me this summoning contract, and where did you get it?"

Naruto became uncharacteristically thoughtful for a moment, his face glued to the object in Sakura's hands. "I didn't... I didn't give that to you, Sakura."  
The kunoichi blinked. "What?"  
"I didn't give that to you." Naruto repeated. "I didn't even know what that was until you told me."

While the female ninja gaped, Naruto heard a choked sound of surprise and felt something soggy and warm hit the back of his neck. Obviously, neither of Naruto's companions had banked on the source of the contract being anyone else. Given the situation, there really wasn't a way they could have.  
"You sent the squirrel. You told us so yourself." Sakura said quietly.  
"I sent the _wild_ squirrel, Sakura. I sent it in a _random_ direction." Naruto explained, removing the chewed cracker bits from his neck with a grimace. Sasuke would pay for that later; right now, the lovely Sakura was to have his full attention.  
"Then why did it speak to me? Why did it address me as 'Sakura-chan'?!" she nearly shouted, suddenly worried about what she had gotten herself into.  
"Hell if I know, Sakura-chan." Naruto replied seriously, unsettled once more by a familiar canine laugh in his his subconscious. "-but there's something very strange at work."

* * *

Jiraiya, the infamous toad sannin, invader of baths, peeper of outstanding proportions, and the author of the popular Icha-Icha series couldn't sleep that night. His snoring was heard under the starlight, but he was used to faking things that were expected of him. That being said, the white-haired man dreaded returning to his home village. He had neglected his duties for so long, and he dreaded to think of how the hokage would receive him. When returning to someone you so looked up to and let down, sometimes it isn't their rage you fear most. Somehow, Jiraiya was more concerned with his teacher's disappointment in him.

Through it all, Jiraiya's life had always been somewhat short of honorable, and the only evidence of his one-time responsibility was a face carved on a cliff. A face that belonged to a dead man. The evidence of his great failures, on the other hand, painted the town orange with badly-written literature and the disregarded abuse of an innocent child who could have been rescued from his torments if the sannin had only been brave enough. The book that was to be Jiraiya's greatest achievement hadn't sold, and his surrogate son had left him with his legacy, only to have him lose both. Now, a whole twelve years later, they both had been hand-delivered to him by fate. Consequently, for the first time in twelve years, Jiraiya couldn't help but worry about someone else as well as himself.  
The council would be ruthless to the boy; there was no doubt about that. From what Jiraiya had heard, and the pain the sannin had seen in his abandoned godchild's eyes, he knew that there were groups that would try to break him, and it wouldn't be the first time that they had tried. Every emotionbal wound the kid had withstood proved Naruto to be a better man than he. It was a cold comfort to know that the village couldn't kill or exile the kid, but he didn't know if those alternatives would be merciful compared to what they would do.  
Naruto Uzumaki had the Kyuubi inside of him. To them, Naruto Uzumaki WAS the Kyuubi. It was possible that they would imprison him and destroy his mind. It was also conceivable that they would take his dreams of being a shinobi away from him forever. With these thoughts fueling an already strong escapist mindset, Jiraiya made a rash hasty decision.

Carefully, so as not to wake anyone but his target up, the toad sannin stealthily stepped over to Naruto's side, where he placed a hand over the boy's shoulder and shook him gently. Within about twenty seconds, the genin's eyes opened sluggishly and focused on him. The young shinobi attempted to say something, but Jiraiya put a finger to his lips.

"Come on, Naruto." he whispered. "We're leaving."

The Uzumaki sat up and wore an expression of drowsy disbelief. "Wha?" he asked quietly, yawning.

"I'm leaving, and I'm taking you with me, kid." Jiraiya stated, tugging on Naruto's tattered sleeve.

"No." the blonde protested, reclaiming his arm. "I'm going back to Konoha."

"Do you know what they'll-" Jiraiya almost shouted, but lowered his verbal volume before anyone stirred. "-do you know what they'll do to you back home?!"  
Naruto nodded, his sleep-frizzed hair bobbing. In all honesty, he hadn't been expecting any behavior like this from Jiraiya at all. This pervy sage was somehow different from the one who taught him. There was something fundamentally wrong with what he was suggesting. What changed to make the guy act so damned weird?  
"Then you know why we're leaving. Come on! Grab some food, and we'll split this joint."  
Naruto defiantly stayed in place. "Konoha is my home."  
"Not anymore, it's not."  
"Why do you even care?" Naruto asked, crossing his arms.  
Jiraiya froze. "I just wanted to-"  
"-to run away?" Naruto muttered, narrowing his eyes.  
"Of course not." the sannin responded indignantly. "-but I know how the council will treat you. You're an object to them."  
"Hokage will protect me." Naruto sleepily argued.  
"With all due respect, kid, the old fart can only do so much."  
"Too bad. I have to stay in Konoha to be hokage myself someday. Leave me alone, old man, or I'll wake them all up." Naruto grumbled, lying back down, promising himself that the whole argument was a dream, and all would be normal come the morning.  
Jiraiya was forced to back away and return to his bedroll, but he couldn't mask his own shame. Once again, the genin had proved himself to be a far better man(and shinobi, for that matter) than he could ever be.

When Naruto awoke the next morning to Kakashi's foot in his face, the events of the night before did indeed seem to be a dream. Jiraiya was still in the campsite, talking to Sakura about something that earned him a slap within twelve seconds. The man didn't avoid meeting Naruto's gaze, and there was no sign of the desperation of the night before. With a sigh of relief, the blonde was able to go about his business without conflict.

The walk back to Konoha was an uneventful one. With Naruto at the head of the group, and Jiraiya picking up the rear, the group travelled well into the afternoon before the familiar gate became visible in the distance. With a whoop of joy, Naruto picked up his pace and barreled towards the village like a long-lost friend.

The chuunin watching over the gate had been informed by the hokage that the group would be returning soon, but he still had a startle when the presumably dead demon container beamed up at him from below. Unaware of the protocol for the situation at hand, the shinobi just stood there for a little while. It wasn't until Kakashi gave him the heads up that he allowed the gate to be opened.

Once inside the village, Naruto gave another yelp of joy and rolled around in the dirt, prompting stares that were even more confused than they originally would have been from the two chuunin inside the gate. Iruka laughed at his young friend's antics cautiously, all too aware of the attention Naruto was unwisely attracting directly upon his return.  
Kakashi rolled his eyes and gave the older sentry some papers before prying his student from the street that he appeared to be in love with.

Iruka was ordered to watch over Naruto and make sure he remained in the same place outside the Sandaime's office when he met with the Hokage first. The meeting allowed fear to surface in the jinchuuriiki at the thought of the talk he undoubtably was about to have with the old man. Minutes passed by like hours, and after what seemed an eternity, Kakashi casually strode outside of the door.  
"Naruto, the Hokage would like to see you alone for a few minutes." he commented and exitted the building, his gait almost giddy. Iruka looked from Kakashi to Naruto for a moment and then directed Naruto inside and left.

The office felt eerily empty. Naruto gulped. He was alone with the most powerful shinobi in the village, and though he rather liked the man, he dreaded the question that was about to reach him. It didn't help that the fire shadow wasn't facing him. It made him feel like a child in trouble.

"Sit down, Naruto." Sarutobi said genially, his voice gentle and somewhat relieved. Naruto complied, and soon the Sandaime was at his desk, looking at him with an unreadable but kind expression.  
"Hokage-sama..." the village pariah stammered, feeling his strength leave him.  
"While I am very happy that you have returned, I fear the next few days will not be the nicest you will have experienced." the elderly man remarked dryly, traces of bitterness directed at someone not present.  
"Sir?" the Uzumaki asked, only to be rewarded by a reluctant chuckle from the old man.  
"'Sir'?" he echoed, slightly saddened. "No insults today?"  
Naruto looked down and fidgetted with his hands.  
"Is there something you want to tell me, Naruto?" Sarutobi asked gently.  
The addressed suddenly lost all ability to speak. He had planned to tell the hokage everything, but now he wasn't sure he would be able to.

Taking the pause as a 'no', the sandaime sighed and pulled a blank envelope from his desk. Inwardly, Naruto winced.

"I think we should talk about your grocery receipts, Naruto." the old man said firmly, opening the package and pulling out a few seemingly ordinary slips of paper. "Now."

* * *

Author's note: Another update! I'm on fire! No... I'm literally on fire. It hurts.


	49. The Truth Will Trap You Further

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto has an addiction to the color orange.

* * *

While being initially relieved and happy when he left the hokage's offices, Kakashi couldn't help but feel his mood ease up a little when he saw Ibiki tell one of the Fire Shadow's assistance that he had come when summoned. The man would be one of the more merciful interrogator's in Naruto's 'special' circumstances, but mercy wasn't what the scarred shinobi was known for. Even after years of serving with Ibiki, a chill still ran through the Hatake's experienced spine. If it weren't for his trust in Lord Sarutobi's character judgement, Kakashi would have probably interfered with the matter.

Outside the Hokage's office, Naruto could hear the sounds of Konohagure buzzing with life. No matter how many times he had been in the room, things rarely changed. Still, this particular audience was more desperate than any he had partaken in.

"Naruto, when a hokage gives you an order or an inquiry, you are expected to answer almost immediately. A lack of cooperation could even be considered criminal in the eyes of our people. The council intends to convene within the next few hours, and the last thing I wish to do is hand you over defenseless."

The Sandaime's voice reached Naruto's ears with a sting, forcing him to make reluctant eye contact with the man who had taken care of him since infancy. "I know, old man. I just don't know where to begin…"

"Then start from the beginning." The old man ordered gently, his face soft. He recognized inner turmoil when he saw it. It wouldn't be the first time he had dealt with a delicate situation in that room, and it wouldn't be the last.

"The beginning," the Uzumaki echoed, trying to form words while a truth hit him, "is the same as the ending, and I don't know when that was."

The hokage waited for an explanation, but soon realized that he would have to prompt it. "As it is, you haven't given me anything to go on, Naruto, except for a well-concealed code and a riddle. There are no such food products as you listed, and prices are not written as dates. If you hadn't placed the information within legitimate receipts, Kakashi would be the one questioning you right now."

Naruto recoiled in shame. "So, you've seen the whole list?"

"I assume so." Sarutobi answered, bemused, "and I feel I must ask why you wrote abbreviated name of a missing ninja that you had supposedly not met at the time of this document's creation. Or, perhaps I should inquire about a date that seems to signify my death?"

"You think I was PLANNING those things?" the Uzumaki shouted and rose from his chair, alarming Iruka in the hallway with the desperation of his voice. The teacher had to exercise every bit of self-restraint he had not to eavesdrop.

"Calm down, Naruto." Sarutobi barked, sounding more authoritative than he had meant to be. Still, the command had an effect, and the addressed slowly returned to his seat. "I said no such thing, and the entire point of this meeting is to hear your side of the story before your next interrogation. All I want is the truth, because Ibiki will enjoy prying it from you if I do not."

"You would let him torture me?" Naruto stammered, terror now filling his face.

"If you give me no choice…" the old man replied, folding his hands in guilt, "but believe me when I say that is the last resort."

"What do you want me to tell you, then?!" the jinchuuriiki countered, feeling cornered.

"The truth." The Sandaime stated, eyeing the boy in front of him with as much reassurance as he could provide. It must have reached the genin, because his breathing slowed, and the child became quiet.

"Would you believe it, Grandpa?" he asked, his voice regaining a small measure of confidence.

"I will try." The hokage promised, allowing a relieved sigh to escape him. He hadn't wanted to threaten Naruto, but if he couldn't convince the kid to talk, he wouldn't have had a choice.

With a surge of determination, Naruto leaned forward. "Okay, then. Get ready, because the truth is crazy."

The Hokage took a deep breath and prepared for the genin's explanation, and wasn't disappointed. However, he wasn't entirely ready for the weight of the child's statement.

"I've already lived today, and I know what it feels like to die." He said with conviction, his face serious.

"…Elaborate." The hokage ordered, visibly stunned.

"I know that the Chuunin Exams begin in four days." Naruto continued, "-and I know that there will be a challenge in the Forest of Death. I've met a true village traitor. The village was attacked."

The yondaime's son watched the village's leader startle, his nerves of steel bleeding away with his facial pigmentation.

"I've seen another bijuu mutate into a monster, and I've brought him back from the state. I've defeated the bitter Neji, trained with your perverted student, and have been thrown off a cliff to draw power from the beast inside me. Still, the rank of chuunin was denied to me."

After allowing these words to sink in, Naruto resumed his tirade with a little more emotion. "I was present for your funeral. We all were."

"Naruto," Sarutobi breathed, his eyes widened and his disbelief suspended. While the story being told to him was disjointed, the pieces fit together in an insane pattern. The boy's explanation was impossible… it probably wasn't even in chronological order. Even so, it was probably the only one that would have made sense.

"I'm not done." The blonde said," I'm not even close."

"I found Tsunade and returned her to Konoha. I wore her necklace, and I was still wearing it when I fought Sasuke Uchiha, my best friend, when he tried to escape in pursuit of power for his revenge."

If it was possible, the hokage would have blanched further. A painful secret floated to the surface of his mind. His mouth was as dry as sandpaper when he asked his next question."You won, then?"

"No, Grandpa. I lost. I lost, and I nearly died. He could have killed me for that damned Mangekyou Sharingan, but he didn't, and I spent the next three years training. While my friends advanced in rank, I remained a genin."

"But you became strong." Sarutobi consoled, the shock setting him on autopilot.

"It was never enough, Grandpa. I couldn't save anyone. I couldn't even bring Sasuke back when I saw him again-and even when possessed, I couldn't avenge you… and your nephew died defending me."

"Asuma?" the old man asked sharply, pained by the thought.

"He'd never see his child born… Shikamaru avenged him, but that doesn't undo a death."

Sarutobi remembered to asked about this child of Asuma's later, but as it was, there were more pressing matters that needed to be attended to.

"And then what happened, Naruto? How did you come back to this day? Did you die, as you mentioned earlier?"

Naruto lapsed into a thoughtful silence before grimacing. "I… don't remember. I don't even remember the last day I lived in that body."

"To what day did you return, then?" the Hokage substituted, acquiring as much information as he could.

"The day Kakashi tested us as students… I returned to early morning."

"Then when, exactly, did you 'die'?"

"After leaving the village with Tazuna, we were attacked by two chuunin from the Mist Village."

"How are you sure you died? From the report I gathered, you barely sustained as much as a scratch."

"I wasn't so lucky on the first two tries. The first time, I received a poison claw to the back, and the second time, knives cut my neck open. I felt the pain, the blood, and perception leave me."

"Then how did you go about the day again?" Sarutobi questioned.

"I am not entirely sure how, but I'd awaken from the last time I slept…"came Naruto's befuddled reply.

"Do you remember any of what happened in between those two events?" the hokage asked.

Naruto shook his head.

Sarutobi rubbed his temples, allowing the entire conversation to commit itself to memory. The new complications it had added to his life could not be stressed enough. There was no way he could create an alibi for the child with this information, and he dreaded turning him over to Ibiki with this much secrecy floating around. However trustworthy Ibiki may have been, the council would hear of what seemed to be the demon container's insanity.

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier, Naruto?" the old man groaned quietly. "If I had known, then maybe we could have done something, anything, to prevent a situation like this."

"What do you mean, old man?" Naruto asked, his shoulders sinking.

"You have to leave, Naruto. You have to leave this village. If any of the ANBU hear of this from Ibiki, who will have to learn the truth, the council will finally have the leverage it wants with your 'mental instability'."

"But I'm not… I'm not crazy." Naruto protested, though more to himself than anyone else.

"You're not a bloodthirsty monster, either, but the council likes to believe otherwise." The hokage was on his feet now, jotting things down on a few slips of paper.

"They can't kill me, old man, and I know they can't exile me, right?" The Uzumaki asked desperately.

"No, Naruto, they can't kill or exile you. On the other hand, they can take away your ability to move and have you imprisoned until they need your power to defend them. Listen to me," the old man pressed, almost pleading with the defiant face Naruto was making.

"They can have you stored away, like a ballista and a captive." Sarutobi stressed, looking out the window instead of at his guest. "-but if you leave, I will have someone send for you when this 'attack' you've predicted comes. I doubt the council could say much against its savior."

"What will happen to you if I leave, Grandpa? They'll know you did it, and they'll know you're keeping a secret from them, right?"

The Sandaime was surprised by the depth of the genin's perception, but he already knew the consequences of his own actions, and the kid had a point.

"It'll be worse if I don't see Ibiki, too. People will think I'm just a traitor instead of crazy, and they'll probably think you're in on it. You'll lose power and control, and the village would become weak, right?"

"Naruto… what are you saying?" Sarutobi demanded, pausing in his steps.

"I'm not going anywhere, and I'm keeping my secret." The blonde said, smiling resolutely.

"How do you intend to do that? Relive this morning and say nothing?! The outcome would be the same." Sarutobi announced, tensing.

"Ibiki's going to enter my brain, right? Search my mind?" Naruto speculated. "I'll just let him see my future stuff as dreams. It shouldn't be hard. Sometimes I can almost convince myself they are."

"That is a risk, Naruto. It's too much of a risk to take for the sake of one old man. You've never been good at subterfuge." The hokage looked at his young subordinate with a mixture of emotions.

"Really? The risk is nothing compared to how I'm going to save you." Naruto said with pride, forcing his leader to accept his desire to stay. "That, and I can always try again."

There was a break in conversation after Naruto's statement. The Hokage spent every second of it mulling over Naruto's stubborn decision, and finally gave in."If you're sure, Naruto… I'll send for Ibiki immediately. After that, we shall have to go to the council chambers. There's not going to be a chance to change your mind."

"I'm ready for this, Grandpa." Naruto assured. Sarutobi nodded and exited the room.

Naruto Uzumaki didn't know what to feel right then. While he was liberated from the burden of keeping his secret to himself, it didn't simplify matters in the least. In the back of his mind, Naruto made a mental reminder to hide his porn and grocery stash better in the future.

* * *

Author's note: New computer, new word processor, and another serious chapter completed. That dang envelope originated in an earlier chapter, but now we will never have to worry about it again. Also, there was no squirrel in this chapter. I don't need a squirrel to write. I just like them.


	50. An Arbitrary Snore

Disclaimer: is no longer vital, like a neglected side character

* * *

Ibiki Morino was by very few standards a small man. In contrast, he was often considered to be very, very big. With a bodyweight of nearly 90kg, and a height of around a hundred and ninety-four centimeters, he was the sort of person one would notice approaching. Naruto did so from his designated seat in the hokage's office, trying very hard to suppress his fear of the famed interrogator with nothing but his perception to aid him.

Emptying your mind was a taxing process. Thankfully, the Uzumaki had some practice in that arena. When one carried out as many pranks as he did during his childhood, survival sometimes depended on the ability to get away with it. This wasn't to say Naruto was a compulsive liar, though. Deception was a tool he utilized for self-defense alone. That being considered, he couldn't think of a better time to alter his ideals of reality.

Throughout Ibiki's initial questioning, the blonde busied himself with both telling the plausible truth with gusto and trying to organize his thoughts and memories into just such an array. An even more difficult task followed as Naruto went through the tedious process of fooling himself for Ibiki's purposes.

Ibiki, on his own part, knew very well when someone was lying. He had many different nonverbal names for separate kinds of lying, be they exaggeration or outright untruths. From Naruto's behavior, he couldn't place his bets on an outright lie, but he knew there wasn't a full story being recounted. The only evidence of any deceit being present was not found in any body language of the boy. Hell, even the youth's voice didn't waver. Often, even an honest shinobi would tremble. The real giveaway resided in Naruto's cobalt blue eyes. They weren't the pure eyes that a genin would sport when he was at ease with himself. They were tense and concentrated, following his every movement with a mixture of awe and distance from the world he currently inhabited.

Sarutobi had instructed Ibiki not to torture the boy, but on the way out he had issued an order.

Ibiki whipped his right hand out of his robe and made a few gestures that would have seemed harmless to anyone who wasn't familiar with mind-invasion techniques. His execution of the skill was superb, and Naruto had known better than to put up any barriers into his subconscious. If that wouldn't have screamed questionable motivation, he didn't know what would. No, it was better to just allow the invasion.

* * *

Ibiki materialized somewhere on the outskirts of the Uzumaki child's conscious being. The experienced shinobi had delved into many minds in his twenty-seven years of living, but not many were as vivid as that of Naruto Uzumaki's. Whether he had been planning for visitors or not, the youth's mindscape was a vast plain of grass, rustling in the hot wind that characterized Konohagure's summer months. Within the vegetation lurked many small animals and phantom books(tomes that would materialize and evaporate in various places according to brain synapses-relatively common). The grizzled ANBU picked one up and leafed through it, but there were mostly drawings of things that meant very little to him, such as swings and profiles of Konoha at night. Aside from that, there was only the occasional toy that would surface from the lush grass.

Beyond the vast grassy expanse was an enormous tower that was flanked on either side by a faceless idol the height of five men. That on its own was not too surprising. Orphans would often have mental ideas of what their parents were and would have been like that changed during their lifetimes. What really caught the black-eyed inquisitor was how the structure defied logic in a very obvious way.

It was built from the bottom upwards, expanding in width and volume with altitude, like the top of a very narrow hourglass that reached past the clouds. If anything, it seemed to Ibiki that whomever had created the building had been trying to isolate whatever was at the top from the innocence of the base. If that was the case, then the mental architect had both succeeded and failed at once. While the serene pastoral landscape remained more or less untouched, layers of pain within the tower would hold all sentient thought, proving that Naruto Uzumaki was still tangling with his own inner demons.

Ibiki found himself swimming in unease when he crossed over to the gigantic gate, and not just from the eerie statuary. There were scorch marks ornamenting the gate in the shape of the seal that Ibiki was all too aware rested on the physical belly of the jinchuuriiki he was trespassing within. Cautiously, the older man opened the gate to the sounds of rusty hinges. From there, he continued walking until he reached the main entrance, which was boarded up and decaying.

The bolt and the door that accompanied it gave way with a decent kick, allowing Ibiki to wander into the darkness it gave way to. When his sight proved useless, the ANBU was forced to feel around until he reached a stairway, which he then began to carefully ascend to a faint glimmer of light far above him.

The first steps were incredibly warped; Ibiki suspected that they lacked a foundation. The further up he got, however, the surer the stairway became. Nevertheless, it didn't ease the climb. While the footholds had become sturdy, they were rugged and unevenly sized. Every now and again, the Morino could swear that he was descending instead of closing the distance between him and the beautiful promise of escape. Other times, he would begin to progress quickly only to feel an invisible set of hands shove him down. He then heard malicious whispers from the walls.

The trek seemed futile, but Ibiki knew very well that no time passed in the outside world, and that his muscles were now little more than ephemeral. He had to remind himself of this when they betrayed him and ached, proving that the ANBU had covered a great deal of distance.

It was at this point that Ibiki understood exactly what it was he was doing. From an emotional and spiritual standpoint, he was living through the earlier years of his supposedly unwitting host's life. The Morino should have prepared himself for such conditions. He had seen the misery that had encompassed the young Naruto's existence. He had tried to stymie it ever so slightly, but there is a point where one gives up on saving someone else. Unfortunately for Naruto, Ibiki had been too busy and too worried about someone else to lend aid.

The whispers became audible voices when he resumed his climb. Terms and labels he had heard put to use for the sole purpose of abusing the Kyuubi's human vessel pierced his eardrums and tugged at a sliver of guilt residing in his soul. His well-hidden insecurities weighed him down in the thick darkness, and he felt he would lose all sense of self before glorious relief came in the form of a pair of arms beginning to push him upwards.

Promises of food, warmth, and companionship rekindles Ibiki's now somewhat delirious senses, and what the man would later come to recognize as Iruka Umino's voice and body gently urged him forward. Suddenly, the light didn't seem so far away.

Other voices and hands began to join the original pair, and soon enough Ibiki found his hands feeling what must have been the last staircase to what was now obviously the end of the tower. His elation would be short-lived. The opening that promised a clean air and sky suddenly shut, and a low growl told Ibiki that he wasn't only accompanied by phantom goodwill.

A torrential river of visions overtook his senses. He heard sounds of death, screaming, and the sounds of Sasuke's name being called in futile effort. He tried to focus on the individual details, but like all dreams, they faded away.

Iruka and the others faded away, and a dim candelight revealed the top floor of Naruto's inner sanctum to be an endless corridor. With a shiver, Ibiki slowly faced the center, where more guttural snarls graced him. There, in a cage the size of the gates of Konoha, stood the most formidable creature Ibiki had the mispleasure of ever meeting.

Kyuubi. With horror, Ibiki heard it growl again. A smile graced the creature's lips soon after.

"**Presumptuous human,"** it boomed before Ibiki was able to regain any sense of normalcy. **"Strange that you would think to target another as the result of your kind's ridiculous need to claim power for your own."**

Terror drained all color from Ibiki's mutilated visage. "You have taken control of him, then… It's true."

Laughter echoed from Kyuubi's prison. **"Is that what you would believe? Logic would tell you so, you pompous creature of decay. You who would tell the judges, who would offer him up to their true god. Such is the price of your…progress."**

"What the hell are you talking about, monster?" Ibiki asked, his voice calmer than he thought it would be.

"**I am the battery, not the machine." **Kyuubi clarified,** "and the mortal children can never hear wisdom without experiencing something for themselves."**

"You're speaking in riddles, demon. Tell me what has happened to Uzumaki Naruto!"

"**Don't you pay attention, inquisitor? He's moved on."**

"Don't toy with me." Ibiki commanded, losing his resolve by the instant. If the soul of Uzumaki Naruto was truly dead, life could quickly morph into a nightmare.

"**He doesn't dwell in the past. He dwells in the assimilated present. The child isn't here when he doesn't have to be." **After saying those words, the light from above returned.

Taking a hint when one surfaced, Ibiki made his way up the last flight of stairs and onto the surface of whatever his destination was. Nothing could have prepared him for what he would discover when the light no longer blinded him.

A complete Konohagure sprawled out before him, but it rippled in appearance. One moment, it would be as he knew it. The next, it would expand and grow more beautiful. At any given time, it would suddenly be in flames.

People came and went, both familiar and unfamiliar. They, like the city, would change without any provocation or pattern. Emotions and states of well being differed, but they all seemed very confused for obvious reasons.

The mental image of Hatake Kakashi started coughing as his Icha Icha book suddenly combusted. The Naras grimaced as brimstone fell out of the clouds they were watching, and several jounin started grumbling as their uniform changed from green to a dull brown. After these actions, all of whom were involved would always look towards the town center with either reproach or concern.

When Ibiki reached the central lane of Konoha, he found what he was looking for, and his mind became number than it had been previously. Flying though it might have been, Naruto Uzumaki's prone form was the only constant in the entire mindscape. His face was pale and catatonic. Every now and then, one of Konoha's overly-dynamic citizens would bend over him in concern, but there was nothing to be done.

Ibiki stared at the whiskered face for a long time, no longer even bothering to understand the events around him. It didn't even startle him when the pallid eyelids flew open, and it was a downright relief when the ANBU official found himself safely grounded in reality within the hokage's office.

The clock had only moved two ticks during the time Ibiki's conciousness was gone, and the physical Naruto hadn't moved in the slightest. He gave a pleasant(if not forced) smile to his interrogator to show that he was still listening.

Ibiki sat there for some time, silent and dumbfounded before finally writing down his diagnostic. The scrawling sound of the pen Ibiki used was followed by his verbal instruction to follow him to the council's chambers. Naruto could only hope that the ANBU's observations had been flattering ones… If they weren't, things were going to get very ugly. Of course, it wasn't very likely that Naruto Uzumaki would have to assert himself to that son-of-a-b..birch assembly ineptly titled a 'council'.

Yeah, right.

Author's note: Duuuude. I think I might have some severe issues. I discovered this last night when partying with a bunch of killer robots sent by a particular reviewer.


	51. Betty Employing and French

Disclaimer: You missed me, didn't you? My job is so important.

* * *

Naruto felt his legs become dead weight while he was being led to the council chambers. Ever since the ANBU in front of him had invaded his mind, the Uzumaki couldn't help but wonder what exactly had occurred. The boy's plan had been simple, but there had been no way for him to enact it when the time came, or to know what had happened to his inquisitor. When the man had entered his mind, everything had gone black. It may have only lasted for a few seconds, but even Naruto was aware of the fact genjutsu didn't take much time in the physical realm, but that didn't help his insecurity. The only thing he knew for sure was that whatever was seen within his head disturbed Ibiki, which was a terrifying thought in itself.

"Err…well; the sky is very nice today." Naruto stammered with a quivering smile, unable to stomach the silence for another second. This was to be the third attempt he had made to facilitate communications in the past fifteen minutes, but as usual, the large and foreboding shadow of Ibiki Morino cut off any further annunciations.

With the exception of a few guards, the council chamber was empty when the duo entered. The windows were covered and the lights remained off while the seasoned ANBU ushered Naruto into the room. The place smelled sterile, like a hospital, as if someone had cleaned it night and day to mask some sort of underlying stench, and illumination penetrated as a stream from the hallway to reveal the ghostly forms of chairs on the riser across the room. The walls and floor amplified and echoed the footsteps of Naruto's escort, who momentarily left the boy's side to turn on the lights within the chamber.

"…there it is."

Naruto's sensitive ears were soon greeted by the sound of a flipped switch, and the skeletal lighting that had guided his eyes before was replaced with an obnoxious and bright substitute. Once lit, the room became recognizable to the Uzumaki in all. While he had not understood a word being said, his younger self had spent more time on an uncomfortable wooden bench than he would like to admit. To his chagrin, it was the same bench that Ibiki placed him on moments later.

The hard wood beneath Naruto's buttocks attempted to conjure up his childhood memories, but the container of the nostalgia in question had more important things to worry about. With Ibiki watching, the cogs within the Uzumaki's brain almost visibly fought amongst themselves over his next course of action, and time was of the essence. Ibiki Morino couldn't blame Naruto for being worried, so he disregarded the boy's squirming as it came and went.

The next few minutes saw the first of the council members arrive, but none bothered with greeting the ANBU commander or his smaller charge. Ibiki was used to their indifference, though, and simply acted as a statue. What he wasn't prepared for, however, was the sudden halt of movement from the boy he was watching over. All of a sudden, the boy just went rigid. This alone was alarming, but the fact that the blonde's body went slack and draped itself over the bench soon afterwards caused the veteran shinobi a great deal of stress.

"Uzumaki?" he growled, his voice deep not in anger but from habit.

Much to the older man's relief, the addressed boy hummed in acknowledgment.

"Wake me up when the geezers are ready." Naruto murmured, letting a self-induced exhaustion overtake him. His breathing deepened and fell into rhythm so quickly that Ibiki couldn't help but wonder if the boy had developed narcolepsy at some point in his life.

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha lost no time in returning to his humble abode. Once he was there, he lost no time in grabbing a handful of rice crackers and reclining on his favorite section of flooring. The events of the past few months and days drifted away in his single-minded snacking, and when the food was gone, so was the Uchiha's Naruto-induced headache.

There was no real explanation pertaining to the reason the Uzumaki irked him so. Even before they were assigned to the same team, the blonde had never bothered to keep himself from loudly vocalizing his distaste for the last of the Uchiha clan. However, something more pronounced had occurred between that point and where the two stood now, despite the fact there had been no real moments of bonding, and their special interactions limited to the occasional one-sided prank. No, there was something else wrong that irked him.

Somewhere, in the deep recesses of Sasuke's mind, he felt a sort of strange longing. It wasn't chemical, and perhaps in wasn't even emotional, but whatever the nature of it, Naruto was the center. It felt like the Uchiha had missed something; that somehow things weren't as they were supposed to be, and it hurt. This same feeling had persisted from the moment the thug had declared Naruto dead in the Land of Waves, but he had thought it was a sense of distant grief at the time-that it would leave once he found Naruto alive and as well as could be expected. So, Sasuke had to wonder, why did it remain?

Was there something he was supposed to have done? Did Naruto offer him some great power that he refused? Obviously there had to have been some mistake he had made, because every fiber of the black-haired boy's being felt some sort of underlying hurt emanate from his teammate's bright blue eyes.

The thought of Naruto waiting for some sort of criminal verdict within a council chamber didn't help matters, but it didn't make them worse, either.

"Why should I even _care_?" he asked himself, closing his now- empty box of crackers without so much as a glance. He hadn't been expecting an answer when he opened his mouth, and predictably enough, he was left without an answer since that was usually how rhetorical questions worked. This didn't make the nagging sense of displacement leave, however.

Irritated, the Uchiha tossed his snack wrappers aside and began to study chakra flows from a book he had lying around half-heartedly, unaware that he was always at risk of having to start a segment of his day over again.

* * *

Kakashi had just settled down with his book on a street corner when he received the immediate council summons. It was with a groan that he took it, as he hadn't been expecting the gathering to happen so soon.

As soon as the messenger left, Kakashi set a timer for an hour and a half and continued to read his book, even if the meeting technically started in ten minutes. It was due to the jonin's tardiness that Naruto was able to get a decent nap in, despite the prompt gathering of everyone else who was supposed to be at that particular assembly.

When Kakashi finally decided to show his miserable hide in the council chambers, about fifty pairs of eyes found their way to his body in what a pun-obsessed weatherman would call a 'series of isolated glowers'. The hokage himself was standing in the center of the room, and when even he gave the Hatake a pointed look, the copy ninja began to question the rationality of his decision to arrive as late as he did. That was, of course, before his visible eye rested on the groggy form of the assembly's focus, whom of course recognized the jonin and gave him an Obito-esque smile that renewed his conviction.

"Hataki Kakashi, explain yourself." A powerful-sounding old woman boomed, backed by the silent assent of her peers.

"There were these orphans being attacked by a wolf, you see, and-"the jonin began, smiling under his mask as he watched the elderly faces before him contort with a mixture of disgust and surprise. The excuse would have continued, but Sarutobi cleared his throat, and Kakashi halted in his tracks, bowing instead. "-I'm sorry. My behavior was inexcusable."

"Well, with that apology in mind, I call this meeting to order." She stated, placing a hand out to her left, signaling the opportunity for hell to break loose, which it had the propriety to refrain from immediately doing.

Over the next few minutes, a few wizened characters declared some formal numbers and muttered amongst themselves, but after a few minutes of civilized discussion, the orator from before stood up once more, her eyes drifting from the Hokage to Naruto without emotion.

"Naruto Uzumaki, you have been unlawfully beyond our borders for the duration of twenty-nine days. Under normal circumstances, you would be labeled a missing ninja and hunted down as a criminal. You escaped these consequences because Konoha believed you dead."

Not knowing whether or not he was supposed to say anything at this point, Naruto just nodded slowly.

"While several biased sources have vouched for your loyalty to our village, you were still under the influence of a pair of criminal ninja for an extended period of time. Whether or not you were found on hostile terms with them or not, as a Hidden Village, we must be wary of any unmonitored activity of our units. It would be unwise to assume that your loyalties still lie with us, or that your mind is fully intact at all. As of this moment, you are under arrest. We need to conduct a full investigation, and-"

While he didn't understand everything the woman had said, Naruto understood enough of it to know that she was telling him that she didn't trust him, and that a majority of the council somehow decided that he was in on some sort of conspiracy with Zabuza. He had been expecting this sort of assumption, but it still offended. Before he had a chance to say anything, however, the Hokage stood in his defense.

"Yukina, I fear I must interrupt you with some relevant information pertaining to this situation. While your cautious stance is a wise one, Ibiki has already conducted a fully-scaled ANBU debriefing of this genin. The results yielded nothing different than Naruto's own account of what happened during his absence."

The council murmured amongst itself again, and the woman straightened before turning her hawk-like gaze to the grizzled Morino.

"If that is so, than he is duty-bound to testify on this matter in person."

Sarutobi seemed disturbed by her reaction. "Is my word as hokage not enough?"

Yukina waved her hand dismissively without moving her face, remaining fixated on the ANBU commander. "In a matter of this much importance, it is important to be as objective as possible."

"Very well." Ibiki's voice echoed as he stepped forward, all eyes upon him. "Ask me what you will."

"Are you aware, Ibiki Morino, that you are bound by honor to tell us the truth, and that any form of deceit will be seen as high treachery to the village of Konohagure?"

"Yes, I am."

"Do you swear that you did, in fact, interrogate this boy as circumstance required?"

"Yes."

"Did you take the time to thoroughly analyze his state of being, mind, and memory resources?"

"Affirmative."

"Do you attest to having found nothing that would bring his allegiance to Konoha into question within his mind, or anything that portrayed anything than a healthy state of mind?"

There was a pause.

"I found nothing that pointed to him as a traitor."

"That is not a direct answer, Morino." Yukina countered. "What did you see within this boy's mind?"

"This investigation is only pertinent to his loyalties. It is not his frame of mind that is in question. I have told you all that you require." Ibiki calmly asserted. Naruto silently thanked the older man.

Yukina's face paled, but the woman was far from done. "Is it not the council's duty to discuss all threats to our people's well-being?"

"Is Naruto Uzumaki not one of your people?" the ANBU deadpanned.

"Until proven innocent, he is not given the priority of being of Konoha."

"With all due respect, what case is there left against him? What crime did he commit? If I recall correctly, which I do, Naruto Uzumaki was held captive against his will, and has not broken any of our laws since he was retrieved." At this point, Ibiki's voice was beginning to get hoarse from usage. Well, more hoarse than usual, at any rate.

"A ninja is trained for subterfuge." From the corner of the courtroom, Kakashi placed a hand over his own face.

"Naruto is a genin," the Hokage interrupted with a chuckle,"-and unequipped to ward off any genjutsu or truth-finding techniques. What you are proposing at this point could be considered ridiculous."

"Your faith in the boy is most taxing, Lord Hokage. Your tendency to side with him is well known, and the amount of seclusion you have shown him since his arrival is enough to arouse suspicion with you, as well. A Bijuu is a well-known source of power."

While he appeared calm outwardly, the Sandaime was just given a vote of no confidence. The council itself obviously didn't unanimously agree with the accusation Yukina had just voiced, and this led to arguing throughout the immediate vicinity. The air of the chamber was becoming less civilized, but the dissent within the council chairs was quelled by a sudden(and loud) interruption.

"Why are you talking about me like I'm not here?!" Naruto shouted, surprising himself along with his audience, which was stunned by the outburst of the jinchuuriiki. "I can hear you. I've always heard you."

Kakashi was the first to jolt out of his stupor, sensing that wherever Naruto was going with this, it wasn't anywhere good. With that in mind, he briskly walked forward and put a hand on his students shoulder. "Stop, Naruto." The masked shinobi wisely advised his student-advice that was immediately ignored.

"No, sensei," the Uzumaki said, shaking his head. "I'm sick of being treated like a bad guy! Do you guys think I kidnapped, starved, bound, and attacked myself with a big-ass sword?! Last I checked, a known criminal did those things, not me."

"I'm not plotting against anyone, and I'm not here to play this stupid game. You know the old man hokage would never abuse his position. What the heck are you playing at?!"

"You do not have the privilege to speak, Uzumaki!" Yukina bellowed, aware of the tension building in the room.

Naruto's eyes narrowed as they did in the battlefield. Appearances be damned, he couldn't take it anymore.

"I don't care what you say, you ugly old hag!"

Everyone froze for a moment.

Sarutobi's face split in mild horror, but he couldn't bring himself to stop the raging blonde.

"You miserable brat, you would say that to a highly respected member of your community?!" an old man screeched.

"Highly respected? Give me a break. I couldn't even respect myself if I was intimidated by a lone twelve year old when I have an entire freaking army on my side! Even a three year old baby isn't this scared of me. "

"Lord Hokage, make him stop, or your position is forfeit!" Yukina practically screamed, her face purple with rage.

"Oh, what happened to all that confidence, grandma? You're desperate enough to ask a man you just called a traitor to save you from little old me?!"

The entire room was up in arms now. Naruto could see the guards grasping at their weapons, ready to fight for their individual employers and interests, but he no longer cared.

"No, you're not scared of Naruto Uzumaki, the genin of Konohagure. You're scared of Naruto Uzumaki, the monster!" he laughed bitterly. "It's funny. I love this village and everyone in it. I would have let you do anything to me, but using me to can the old man just went too far."

Kyuubi's chakra began to amass around Naruto's body, filling him with an ecstatic and destructive glee. Kunai were pelted at him, but he batted them away with his aura alone. The now-reddened eyes of the Uzumaki were resolutely placed on the gathering before him, as the jinchuuriiki made up his mind. He was going to die.

"There's this funny thing about monsters," he snarled with enough volume for everyone within the place to hear, slowly walking towards the guards that were now upon him. "-they have to be created! And, once matured, they turn on their creators FIRST!"

Naruto continued laughing as he defended himself from all attacks. With minimal effort, the guards were incapacitated or thrown aside. He memorized every expression of terror he inspired with a sense of satisfaction before rounding up a group of council members that weren't exactly in their physical prime. With what appeared to be murderous intent, the empowered jinchuuriiki created a Rasengan and charged forward….and stopped.

There were still screams resounding in the air and alarms going off, but the alleged homicidal rampage would never come to pass.

"It's funny how many assumptions you guys make." Naruto smiled, reverting back to his human form before his attack caused any permanent damage. Not entirely oblivious to the new wet spots on the clothes of his would-be victims, Naruto hoisted the nearest council member to their feet with a condescending sigh.

"Power doesn't always make a monster." He noted, regarding the now-trembling old man before him with disappointment as a katana was thrust through his back by an ANBU with a monkey mask.

"People do."

Naruto finished the two words with a grimace, falling to his knees in the melee the chamber had become. While his vision was still fully functional, he could see a select few people fighting to protect him, unaware that the source of the conflict had been silenced.

Naruto was falling.

* * *

Author's note: For those of you who said I couldn't finish this, and to the parts of me that want to give up on this story, I have something to say. IT'S ON, BETCH!


	52. Crisis Averted

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine, and I'm not his. Because, you know, that'd be pretty weird.

* * *

A man named Daijiro Tomemura suddenly lurched forward on his way to an impromptu meeting of Konohagure's elders. There was no evidence as to why this occurred, and at first had alarmed his wife, as could be imagined. Even though the man regained his balance within seconds, the woman tried to insist he see a healer, fearing that old age may have finally caught up to her husband in the form of a stroke.

Though he insisted he was fine, Daijiro's deep brown eyes were wild behind his weathered eyelids. He staggered for a few steps before regaining his balance, and again his wife pled with him to see a doctor, but he was deaf to her urging. The poor woman eventually gave up, but not without getting Daijiro to promise to get examined after the meeting was adjourned.

Once inside the council chamber, Daijiro found his chair with robotic efficiency. His thick eyebrows knotted themselves up in a frown as he spotted a blonde boy stirring on the audience bench below him.

Naruto Uzumaki opened his eyes, head spinning from the sensation of being torn from and then placed back into reality. He wasn't proud of himself for acting out in his last cycle of this event, but he didn't hate himself, either. If it weren't for the extremely uncomfortable sensation of death, he would be willing to write of the event as something that had never happened.

With the recollection of his impatience and composure, Naruto had decided to lay low through this meeting. He would be patient, and he would take any abuse with a stride. The last thing he needed was to blow an internal fuse again. After all, continuity was becoming a rare treasure in his world.

Naruto's eyes moved through the crowd that had no recollection of being terrorized by him until they fell on the face of someone who was looking at him with something other than disgust or indifference. The face of the councilmember he had spared before his glorious exit of the council meeting via sword regarded him with serene confusion, if such a thing existed. The intensity of the man's gaze caused a spark of nervousness to place itself in the Uzumaki's gut before the man nodded and turned away.

In the same manner as the time before, Kakashi entered late with a weak excuse and was reprimanded. This time around, Naruto was able to actually smile to himself with the futility of their scolding. Kakashi may have acted sorry, but he only behaved that way because of the Hokage's influence. In the end, even the elite jounin couldn't ignore the authority of Sarutobi.

Yukina's voice broke through his reverie, the same accusations splitting the atmosphere of the audience chambers, prompting the Sandaime to speak in the boy's defense. Naruto bided his time, waiting for an opportunity to present itself, if such a thing were possible.

The meeting wore on, and Naruto decided that the best anger management method was to stop listening altogether. He watched the council's wrinkled faces quiver and move with speech, counted liver spots, and mentally pictured the governing body(no pun intended) naked. As a result, he was completely unprepared when the indecisive councilman Daijiro stood up with a request for Naruto to talk in his own defense. In fact, he wasn't even aware of the development until he received a jostling nudge from the Sandaime.

All eyes were on Naruto, weighing his every action carefully as he shook out of his childish fantasy to testify, despite the fact he hadn't really been paying attention and didn't know where to start. Still, there was almost always a safe way to diffuse a situation.

"Sirs and Ma'ams, I get why you don't trust me, but then again, I don't. This really could have been, y'know, avoided if I had just been retrieved sooner. I didn't tell anyone I died. That was just an assumption. So, that's score one for me NOT being a criminal."

_In retrospect,_ Kakashi thought to himself for what must have been the twentieth time,-_that wasn't a very smart call. _

"Also, I think you should know that the two that borrowed me without my permission were sorta… insane. You know, crazy. Some sort of honor or something. It didn't add up, but what could I do? Nothing, really, as I was usually both tied up and supervised like a dangerous animal."

A pudgy man interrupted at this point, somewhat skeptical. "Ropes? That was all they had? You didn't escape from flimsy ropes? And you call yourself a shinobi?"

Naruto put a hand to his face, not really needing to save dignity he didn't have. "I didn't say I didn't escape. I just never got away."

"Explain." Yukina said, her voice not as vicious as before.

"Think about it, ma'am. Zabuza was an elite 'hunter' of men. I could escape from those ropes. Heck, I could get up to ten miles away, but they'd always find me. I tried everything, and I mean that. I was so desperate I captured a wild squirrel and wrote a message on a leaf, for Icha's sake!"

"This still doesn't explain why you aren't dead. Or why we weren't issued a ransom demand. Judging by your girth, they could have starved you into submission. How do we know you didn't feed them information? Agree to work for them?"

"You don't know. I know that, but I think Ibiki might be more believably. Right, Ibiki, sir?"

The addressed man nodded, which caused Yukina to once again call for the ANBU's verdict on the matter."Well?"

The bear-like ANBU gave a rumbling chuckle, thinking on his feet. "He's a teenage boy, madame. He's not preoccupied with any sort of scheme, but I'll admit his psyche is not a normal place to be. Actually, there were several fantasies about a fe-"

"Enough, Ibiki, we get the picture." Yukina mumbled, eyeing the would-be defendant's blush with disgust. Several chuckled drifted through the room.

"Well, Yukina, I believe that this would settle the situation? He IS a shinobi, leaving his fate in my hands." Sarutobi smirked, sensing a definite shift in the atmosphere of the chamber.

"You would just let us have him continue as if nothing ever happened?" a woman near the rear barely managed to annunciate, sounding more confused than angry.

"Yes, Tsu-san, that would be the case." Daijiro Tomemura informed her before Sarutobi even had a chance to speak. "Surveillance and incarceration consume resources. This is actually a rather fortunate situation."

"Agreed." Sarutobi nodded before the council,"-and it should be said that we should be grateful that nobody died."

"Except Gato!" Naruto volunteered, causing a few confused glances by the shopkeepers who hadn't bothered to read the reports. "Um, that's a good thing." Thankfully, the hokage interrupted before the genin could make things any worse for himself.

"Well, if that will be quite enough, I have the matter of Naruto's displaced housing to attend to. So, if you don't mind, why don't we adjourn for now?" the hokage suggested, his voice optimistic. The upward turn of the old man's lips indicated a smile.

"Agreed. Council adjourned." Yukina announced begrudgingly.

Naruto blinked with disbelief. While the councilroom emptied, he didn't dare move or breathe. Well, the latter of which is a lie, but he didn't breathe with as much gusto or consistency, much to the dismay of his already-overworked grey matter.

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Sarutobi patted Naruto's back, noting the look of surprise on the boy's face. When he didn't receive a reply, the old man added,"-it's over now, at any rate."

"It is?" Naruto echoed, his eyes greeted with a thumbs up from Kakashi. A smile began to form on his face.

Kakashi looked at the quickly-rejuvenating Naruto with relief at first, but it soon gave way to horror as he recognized the look in the boy's eye. The Hatake made to escape the chamber before it was too late, but it wasn't to be. Much to his pride's dismay, the Uzumaki accomplished what he set out to do.

"YAHOOO!" Naruto bellowed, pouncing on his teacher with a gross disregard to the man's love of personal space. The hug that followed was worthy of Gai's theatrics.

"Hm. I didn't think it would be that easy," Ibiki murmured from a few feet away, giving the hokage an enigmatic glance that only the two understood(probably not in the way some people are thinking). It was a question bordering on a command. Whatever was going on had Ibiki involved. And, if he was going to be involved, he knew well enough to get the entire story of what was going on.

"Later, Ibiki." The fire shadow assured his subordinate under his breath, and began to walk away. Ibiki Morino watched the back of the hokage's head until he turned the corner before being distracted by Kakashi's irritation.

"Naruto, get the f*** off me."

* * *

Author's note: Short. I know. That, and I can't make everyone happy. If you're reading my story and don't like it... you're not obligated to finish it.


	53. Do The Noodle Dance

Disclaimer: Copyright infringements are no laughing matter... usually. Still, there isn't one here because I admit I don't own Naruto! Yeehaw!

* * *

Though the hearing was over, the rest of Naruto's afternoon was spent in the hokage's office, trying to finish enough paperwork to actually give him permission to leave-because, as Sarutobi had informed him with a laugh, it looked more professional to detain the newly-recovered genin, and he was hoping that it would look like the boy was in trouble from a distance.

Ironically, pretending to be in trouble was almost as bad as being in trouble. Regardless of the reasoning behind sentencing someone to sit upright in a chair for several hours while writing a detailed description of several events that hadn't even happened yet, said person's neck begins to cramp. They get tired, and their writing suffers. So, though Sarutobi would be left with several decent and accurate descriptions, names, and warnings, he would also find half a page wasted with doodles of various jounin picking their noses.

By the time the blonde left the hokage's tower, the sun was hanging low in the horizon. He wanted to visit his teammates, but in all honesty, he was very tired. If only to make him more miserable, his belly chose then to constrict and burn, reminding him painfully of just how starved he had been.

The smells of Konoha during suppertime called out to him like sirens, but with all the sorrow he could melodramatically call upon without feeling shame, he realized that he had no money. Anything that he had on him that was currency at some point had decayed or morphed into something that vaguely resembled its former self. It was at this point that something white and chakra-laced flew at the back of his head with deadly accuracy.

"Owowowowow! OW! What the hell?!" Naruto shrieked at the hokage's tower, where he saw an shriveled hand wave congenially. All irritation fled from Naruto's mind as he realized what he'd almost missed, and reminded himself to thank the old man later. For now, there was celebrating to do. His grocery stipend had arrived, and the famine had ended.

The Uzumaki's fatigue deserted him and replaced itself with adrenaline. The main street of Konoha was greeted with a breeze, courtesy of the sprint that Naruto had taken up with a grin. After all, at the end of that street, there was a stand-one that he hadn't gone a day without missing.

Shikamaru was the first person to recognize the yellow-haired streak as it ran past him. Of course, he just shook his head at the massive amount of hyperactive energy being displayed and wasted.

"Typical Naruto," the Nara groaned, making the mistake of taking a swig of his tea before his overly-powerful brain reminded him of something that had been an accepted fact. Chouji's face was soon covered in the liquid, an occupational hazard of being so nearby. However, he seemed more confused than angry.

"Did you see that, too?" the pudgy genin asked with uncharacteristic seriousness.

"Yeah, I did." Shikamaru replied, the shock wearing off quickly as he mulled things over, "-but that would explain the high amounts of administrative activity today, wouldn't it?"

"Should we tell someone?" Chouji asked, stopping just long enough to jam a tea-sogged piece of meat into his maw between words.

Shikamaru just looked at his companion, fully aware that the background noise would eliminate the need for him to answer such a stupid question. Surely enough, the resounding sounds of joy that Konoha had been deprived of in the last month and half started making themselves known.

"GIMME RAMEN, DATTEBAIYOOOOO!"

"Oh, guess not." Chouji grunted, wiping the last of the spilled tea from his face with an already-stained napkin before resuming his messy and more-than-adequately-sized meal.

* * *

In the thirty seconds after Naruto's dramatic entrance into the stand, Teuchi stared at his old patron without moving. Despite the fact that said boy was raving like a lunatic and smiling widely, it took a moment for the man's brain to register the identity of the genin at his counter. While the blonde mess of hair was hardly mistakable, it was long and matted, covering parts of Naruto's face.

"-and so I want a special. No, wait, TWO specials!" the painstakingly familiar demands ensued loudly, catching the attention of an uncharacteristically slouched Ayame, who abandoned her cooking post to look behind her.

"Oh, actually… THREE specials! With extra helpings of whatever you've got!"

"Naruto, is that really you?" she asked cautiously, almost doubting her eyes. From her angle, she could barely make out the adolescent's frame behind her father.

Hearing his name, the addressed leaned to the side and gave a wave. "Hey, Ayame! How's it goin'?"

Teuchi looked from his daughter to his prodigal regular very slowly, taking the sight in as Ayame's voice burst into melodious laughter. The girl nudged her parent aside gently and pinched the long-missing blonde's cheek, examining the gauntness of her friend's face.

"Well, you're real, so that's 'going'." she stated casually, giving the skin a slight tug for posterity before letting it return to its natural position. Her brown hair bobbed with her head in satisfaction as she turned around to resume cooking.

"..That kinda stung." Naruto muttered, noticing that Ayame's fingernails needed a trim.

"Serves you right, kiddo." Teuchi grumbled, grabbing as many bowls as he could. "You shoulda wrote. Things weren't the same around here without the Uzumaki tab."

"Hey, I pay when I can!" Naruto asserted. "Almost every time!"

"He meant that as a good thing, you know," Ayame chuckled, setting the first of Naruto's enormous supper on the counter. "A tab is a bill, paid or no. When you stopped showing up, so did several other people."

"And you always said I scared the customers, old man!" Naruto grinned, inhaling his first bowl with gusto.

"Well, you do," Teuchi laughed heartily, "-some of em', but it just goes to show how important atmosphere is to a place's economic success. If your slurping and yammering don't make a place memorable, I don't know what will."

By this point, Naruto was no longer interested in the conversation, as his whole being was now involved in the act of devouring whatever it could find. Broth flew in several different directions, and the noodles we slurped up so quickly they appeared to be alive. This pattern continued without pause for a few minutes, the ramen vendors allowing themselves to observe it in quiet amusement. By the time Naruto left their little shop, his clothes were as thoroughly fed as he was, and his wallet was considerably lighter.

"Ah… sweet bliss." He cooed with a smack to his swollen belly.

"Do you still have room for dessert?" a voice asked politely, making Naruto's night that much better.

* * *

"Home, sweet home…" Iruka Umino hummed, surveying the wreck that waited beyond his doorway.

Naruto's sandals were met with broken glass the moment he entered Iruka's apartment. While the matter of his permanent residency was up in the air, the genin was pleased to find that his former teacher's offer to allow him a place to stay remained in place. Admittedly, he had been excited until the moment he entered Iruka's home.

To say that the place was a wreck was an understatement, and though Naruto hadn't been in Iruka's house often, he could tell that it wasn't normally in the sad state it was in now. What must have once been painted dishware littered the remains of a few tattered shelves, walls were chipped, and sometimes Naruto would spot books completely without spines. With Iruka entering behind him, the Uzumaki dared not say a word for a few seconds. While at first he had assumed villagers or vandals had trashed the place by the way the windows were shattered, the lack of surprise or reaction from Iruka had him think otherwise.

"Was there an earthquake while I was gone, sensei?" Naruto asked casually, unsure of how else to take the situation. Iruka gave a weak chuckle in response before clearing a spot of debris to drop his gear. The chuunin didn't seem very interested in explaining the situation, but it didn't seem to bother him that much. The man just unpacked like nothing had ever happened, giving Naruto the time to investigate the matter further.

Several pieces of evidence helped Naruto piece together the puzzle that was the glass-littered deathtrap that Iruka's apartment had become . Firstly, there were a few necessary items that weren't broken. The bed , sink, toilet, and stove were all intact, although the last was a bit dented. Most vagabonds that would break into a house to mindlessly destroy things wouldn't spare those objects. Secondly, there was the fact that Iruka had gotten a few looks of fear out of the villagers of Konoha as they had walked in the evening shadows, and lastly, there was a familiar photo that Naruto KNEW had been in his apartment was at the base of a set of cracked shelves.

"Iruka-sensei," Naruto muttered, picking up the frame and suddenly feeling sick to his stomach,"-how did you get this?"

Iruka slowly looked up from the vest he was dusting off, barely meeting Naruto's gaze with as much resignation as possible. "It was pretty much all that was left, I'm thinking…"

"…What?" a bubble of shame rose in the jinchuuriki's middle.

"By the time I got to your apartment, everything was gone, but there were still a few straggling scavengers. I… dealt with them." Iruka said the last part nervously, like a child who'd been caught doing something wrong. Naruto could only speculate the meaning of his words.

"I came home, and I couldn't control myself. I'm ashamed, Naruto, I really am, but you were the straw that broke the camel's back."

The shame inside the young Uzumaki intensified. "You, you did all that… because of me?"

A smile covered Iruka Umino's face while he nodded, but Naruto could see the glistening of tears at the edges of the man's upturned eyes.

"Iruka", the yondaime's son fell forward to engulf his cherished friend with a warm hug, "I'm sorry."

Tears began to flow freely from Iruka's eyes as he returned the platonic embrace. He hadn't realized how much the boy had meant until he had thought he'd lost him forever. Though they hadn't gotten along at first, by being there for Naruto, the Umino had redeemed himself in his own eyes. In nurturing the blonde boy, he had been able to nurture himself. Before he had noticed the change, the kid had found a way under his skin. Despite any efforts the man had made to separate himself from the interests of the young Uzumaki, as any teacher should, he just grew more attached to him. Through the ramen-eating rituals and recreational outings, their meetings had a different effect. They became times of bonding, and Naruto took the place of a little brother in his heart. So, as it could be imagined, it hurt like a _mother_ to lose him.

"Don't be sorry, you little delinquent." The schoolteacher choked out, pushing the boy off of him. "-just don't be so damned reckless!"

"Says the man who turned his own house into a deathtrap." Naruto jabbed at his friend's ribcage playfully.

"Ah, and the man who made you help him clean it up." Iruka added, hastily wiping his eyes.

Somehow, Naruto had been expecting that, and he gladly pitched in with the reconstruction process. They worked on the apartment most of the night, and slept deeply for the rest. While Naruto still had many things to worry about, they could wait until morning.

* * *

Author's note: Filler with a side of sap. Can't wait to get back to the storyline... can't... wait! Hopefully, you guys will like it.


	54. My Brother's Creeper

Disclaimer: I missed dismissing responsibility for the characters and universe therein.

* * *

It is impossible to simulate the deep comfort one contrives from waking up in a place that feels like home. Somehow, the world seems much friendlier when you greet awareness with a familiar set of sensations and people. Even if the air in the area is chilly, somehow the atmosphere is warm. Naruto Uzumaki was indeed soothed by the aforementioned ideal, but his morning wasn't simply to be peaceful.

As he carefully got to his feet, the boy couldn't help but spare a grateful glance to his slumbering host, who looked like he would be asleep for at least a few more hours. That was fine with the Uzumaki. If his observations told him anything, they told him that the chuunin had more than earned the right to some decent sleep, as it had probably eluded him for the past month. While guilt would have accompanied the thought the night before, all seemed right with the risen morning sun.

Several dumplings that Iruka had scrounged up last night remained on the table. They wouldn't be good for much longer, but they served well as the boy's breakfast. Still, just in case, he left one for Iruka. On an unrelated note, the dumpling in question was never eaten, as by the time the schoolteacher would awaken, the spoilage set in.

After a quick and stealthy bath, the young ninja prepared to get back into his tattered clothing until he noticed a set of small vestments that Iruka had probably worn at his age. They had been laid out carefully, as if the quietly sleeping man in the next room had planned this in advanced. Naruto put the plain black garments on with a thankful smile, even if they weren't his normal orange digs. He could remedy that later, but being naked was really not in style. The shoes that he had worn on the infamous escapade he had newly returned from were shot as well, but the boy had no qualms with walking barefooted until the opportunity to gain new sandals would present itself.

Having completed his preparations for the day, Naruto went outside and proceeded to do his daily exercises. After about twenty minutes of being able to go about them unhindered, the sound of a familiar child's pained yelp from a nearby alleyway had him leaving the secure grounds of Iruka's yard to investigate.

Konohamaru had thought the day was going to turn out so much better than it had. When he awoke, he had been told by a little birdie that someone he idolized may have been alright. After an extremely tasty meal, this story was reinforced by several other sightings from a trustworthy source (Moegi). Though he had to ask around, the grandson of the current Fire Shadow had even gotten a decent idea of where he might be. This information, coupled with his childish enthusiasm, had him running down the streets of his village with anticipation. What he hadn't banked on, however, was a disgruntled foreigner to be lurking in his path.

The instigation of the conflict that arose wasn't much of an impact so much as a slight brush. Konohamaru had made an effort to avoid the older boy, and had nearly done so. Unfortunately for him, though, the alien genin seemed to want the confrontation, and leaned into him even as he veered to the right. Affronted, and none too discrete, Konohamaru retaliated as he was picked up by the scruff of his neck.

"Lemme go! I'll have you know I'm a ninja, you stupid clown-face!" the little boy spat, all too aware of the stale breath being pushed into his face.

"The leaf must have really low standards, kid. And I don't take kindly to being called "clown-face". Looks like you could use a lesson in manners." The hourglass on the foreigner's headband glinted malevolently as his face turned slightly to the side.

Konohamaru kicked his foot forward in a feeble attempt to harm his captor, an action that earned him an eerie expression from the Sand Ninja. The purple lines on his face did little more than enhance the effect.

"So the little Leaf Ninja started a fight with a guest? Oh, well it looks like I have to defend myself!"the genin threw his captive aside and reached backwards for the top of a wrapped container he was carrying when he was suddenly plowed over by a chakra-laced foot.

"Naruto!" Konohamaru practically screamed, his face beaming with his idol's entrance. The addressed turned sideways and gave the kid a thumbs-up before turning to the twitching form he knew to be a frustrated Kankuro.

"Hmm. Pretty reckless act to pull right before the exam, doncha' think?" Naruto asked, offering a hand to bring the small-time bully to his feet. It was swatted away, but the Uzumaki was less than perturbed. He was about to get a giant hug, anyway.

"You idiot! IDIOT! I knew you were okay! They said you weren't, but I knew it! I wasn't worried for a second!" the hokage's grandson bawled, having adhered to Naruto's middle. With a smile, the blonde ruffled the child's hair and looked up to see an approaching Temari.

"Oi, keep better tabs on your fellows. I highly doubt your village condones beating up on people in alleys." He called after her as she grew closer, an exasperated but arrogant look on her face. He didn't dwell on that detail for long, though, as he could sense a familiar presence concealed in the shadows of a nearby tree.

"Oh, and you in the tree? I know you're there. You can stop with the hiding now." Naruto spoke loudly, looking authoritative despite the fact there was a child attached to his midriff. "This is hardly preparing for the selection exams, right? What were you trying to do, scout the city?"

Konohamaru blinked at the power that his mentor seemed to be commanding. The self-satisfied air around the incoming kunoichi dissipated with Naruto's confident demeanor. There had to be more than that, though. Within seconds, a pile of sand migrated to the flagstones and flew around to form the shape of a boy.

"Impressive that you could sense me, Leaf Ninja." The predestined Kazekage eyed his fellow jinchuuriiki, though he had no knowledge of what he was. "And I apologize for my siblings rudeness."

"Come on, Gaara! The twerp started it!" Kankuro began to sputter through his bloodied lips before getting glared at by basilisk-emulating eyes.

"Shut up- or I'll _kill_ you." Gaara threatened in a harsh whisper. The cruelty in his voice caused even Konohamaru, who was a third party by this point, to shiver.

"Yes, brother, of course. I'm sorry, I was out of line!" Kankuro stammered, bowing with Temari, who hadn't done anything to merit fearing Gaara at that particular moment. Still, she showed the same signs of resignation. It made Naruto irritated to have seen the family reduced to its destructive starting point, but it was something that he had gone through the meeting alone this time. No Sasuke showed up to outshine him, and he wasn't in any way degraded in front of his little follower. Still, there was danger in this situation.

"Excuse me, boys and girls," Naruto interrupted the apologizing session bluntly, "but the party that should be apologized to is probably Konohamaru here."

There were a few resentful "I'm sorries" passed about, but Konohamaru was happy with them anyway. All the while, Naruto looked at Gaara intensely. He couldn't possibly outlast his opponent, however, and simply sighed in resignation, blinking at last.

"Your name, fearless leader?" Naruto asked wryly.

"Gaara." The read-head replied monotonously, all while retaining his stare.

Sensing the ability to have a little fun with the introduction, Naruto pressed ever so slightly. Unlike their last encounter, he had the leverage granted to him by a decent first encounter. "Any surnames? Nicknames? Official titles?"

The basilisk glare formed and shot at the Uzumaki, but softened when it invoked only a friendly smile. Not willing to let go of the idea of intimidation, though, Gaara resorted to other means.

"Demon of the sands." He replied to Naruto, who now seemed preoccupied with itching his butt.

"That's cool." He responded. "-but has got to come with a certain stigma."

"Hmm…" Gaara hummed, slightly inclining his head. "Well, Leaf Ninja, this has been most… interesting… but I fear I must depart."

"Seems fair enough, but my name is Naruto Uzumaki, datteb-…" he managed to stifle his catchphrase before it belted out. Unfortunately, his introduction fell on empty space, as Gaara had vanished, his siblings running off into the distance.

"Well, darn." Naruto said, stroking his chin. "And I was being so cool."

"Surprising, right?" Konohamaru interjected, elbowing his friend in the gut, only to find it rock hard. "Owww…"

"Ha. Serves you right, you little brat. You should respect your elders!" Naruto snorted, putting on a show.

"You're not _that_ much older than me, big guy!" the younger of the two growled. "-but I'm pumped that you're okay."

"Pumped? Haven't heard you say that before."

"No, I'm serious!" Konohamaru insisted, pounding on Naruto's chest.

"Yeah," Naruto said happily, his face softening. "I missed you too, you little pain."

"So can you play with us?" the child asked, face sparkling.

"Sorry kid. No can do, I have important tasks to complete." The Uzumaki replied while taking a few footsteps away from his younger companion.

"Like what?" Konohamaru asked, flustered.

"Oh, well… secret things, mostly." Naruto answered, not needing to exaggerate at all. For once, he was telling the truth to the kid in a way that was impossible to believe. With that, Naruto used a few handsigns and vanished, leaving the hokage's grandson to speculate as to what the so-called 'secret things' could be.

Sarutobi was less than surprised when Naruto clambered in through the window of the Hokage office, even though such a feat should have been difficult with all the wards placed on the structure.

"So, formulated any plans yet, Grandpa?" the blonde asked, his grubby feet touching down on the wooden floor.

"…Shouldn't you have reported to Kakashi before coming to see me?" the elderly man groaned, his voice tired.

"Sorry, the thought slipped my mind." Naruto admitted.

"Well, this works out for the best, I suppose." Sarutobi deadpanned, getting to his feet solemnly.

"What's the matter, Grandpa?" the genin asked, a little concerned.

"It would seem that the best plan that I could come up with is perhaps the most dangerous one." The old man sighed. His eyes scanned around the room, and he began to pace.

"If we stray too far from your original accounts, the village could be taking a much larger risk than it would be otherwise. It wasn't easy, however, to persuade Kakashi or the ANBU that is was a good idea to go about it the way it was decided."

"What are you talking about, old fart?" Naruto pressed, intrigued.

"Now, now. I never said that you could start calling me names again, but… we have decided to replace one of the genin teams that decided they weren't ready for the exam."

"Get on with it already!" Naruto pressed, growing impatient and excited. Seeing this zest, the hokage cleared his throat and posed to make an announcement, if only out of habit.

"In a controversial decision, it has been decided that you, Sakura, and Sasuke will be taking part in the Chuunin Selection Exams."

Naruto stared at his leader numbly. "What?" he asked, suddenly feeling a little sick .

"I said that you, Sakura, and Sasuke, will be participating in the upcoming exam." The hokage restated his point and waited for it to sink in.

"Are you crazy?!" Naruto gasped, eyes wide with surprise.

"No, Naruto. I simply believed that it would be best to allow you to face your own perils in a familiar set of circumstances. It would be too much to ask any more of you in this plan. You've warned us of the invasion, and that is enough."

Naruto twitched. "I can help you, though! I can… I can…"

Sarutobi chuckled. "You're already helping, you know. By sending you into the forest with the other genin, I can be sure that you can notify me of any changes. And, if by some coincidence you die, you can report the cause to me before entering again." The old man then wrinkled his nose with the odd nature of his orders.

Naruto shut his eyes thoughtfully, which was a rare gesture indeed. "In the meantime, is there anything you require of me?"

"I think you should know what to do, Naruto. You have to follow your normal schedule, but I shall lift the ANBU curfew for your… 'unique' circumstances."

Blue eyes shot up with revelation. "You'll let me go out at night?"

"That is correct." The Sandaime responded, but quickly added the catch. "On the condition that there is no drinking, vandalism, gambling, or sexual harassment involved."  
"Do I seem like one of your students to you?" Naruto quipped cleverly while giving a very ominous smile.

"Dismissed!" the old man waved, laughing with exasperation.

Naruto left the way he had entered, leaping out the window exuberantly, ideas swimming through his brain.

* * *

Author's Note: Did you miss me?


	55. Chapter 55

Disclaimer: Naruto is hisself for Kishimoto hisself, in all 'isselfiness.

For someone like Naruto Uzumaki, the freedom he was experiencing surpassed that of anything but his dreams. For the first time in his life, he was to spend a night without limitations that would ever have him looking over his back. No disgruntled hunter ninja would drag him back to his crumbled abode, and the trust of the hokage set alight a confidence in his chest that warmed him even further in the haze of the summer evening.

Even in the newfound liberties the boy was enjoying, without the watchful eyes of the village elite on him, Naruto was bound by the importance of altering what was to come. After thinking about his next move for a short while, the young ninja had easily plotted a vague course of action. In the events that would play out, there were several key people he had to reach.

Naruto returned to Iruka's house for a short amount of time to leave a note, but left before the hapless chuunin could hear of his young charge's induction into the encroaching examinations. It outlined a plan to train through the night at a nearby park, and was followed by a promise to come back with the dawn, if not before it. Now, while the note was a lie, it wasn't without some elements of truth. The Uzumaki would, in fact, be out all night. The object of his nocturnal travels through Konoha's darkened streets was one that was known only to the hokage and himself, however, and was to start with a quick scan of the areas that had been granted to the foreign ninja for lodging.

Entire fields were transformed into campsites for the more rugged guests on Konoha's soil, but others stayed in buildings that normally served for more trivial purposes, like meetinghouses and old dormitories. To Naruto's dismay, his search was not to be made easy by specific markers for guests of any kind. There were no maps to his quarry, and many of the foreigners shared the traits of both being a better trained shinobi than the hapless genin and being very distrustful of their surroundings. It was all Naruto could do to skirt around in the trees. After a few close calls, however, a new strategy was in order. After mussing up his clothes with some dirt, and letting some sweat settle in his hair, Naruto began to run in plain sight on the ground. The new approach caused a few glanced in his direction, but somehow, a genin sprinting vivaciously in the nighttime hours was much more acceptable than one sneaking about.

_It's ironic. After all our training, the best way over an enemy's defenses is sometimes, well, just acting natural._ Still, the genin was more than aware that a more solid approach to becoming a part of the camp's backdrop so that he could slip in and out was in order. Certain that the opportunity would present itself, Naruto grinned, taking care to look more exhausted than self satisfied as he heard a group of familiar voices.

"No, Temari, all I'm sayin' is that Gaara needs to report in with us the moment we wake up." Came a tired but exasperated voice from the outer walkway of a building to his left. Averting his eyes just enough so that he could see Kankuro from the corner of his vision, Naruto sent a clone of himself running forward and then ducked into some shrubs.

"Listen, Kankuro, you know full well that he doesn't answer to us. He never has. His only responsibility is to our teacher and Hiding-in-Sand." Temari's voice sounded both put off and mournful, and much younger than he had ever remembered it.

"I still wonder about him sometimes, though… he is our brother…" Kankuro's body, much like his voice, became more obscure as he continued down the walkway. Soon, the duo came to a door, and the black-hooded sand ninja was obliged to open the door for his female sibling. Mentally, Naruto marked the doorway they had entered and re-emerged from his hiding place to run anew. The first step of his plan was completed, but now he had to find a valid reason to approach the place in which the Sand siblings currently dwelled, as the penalty for not having one would probably be a very painful one indeed. Still, he had to keep in mind his current state and body. He was no longer a teenager, and as someone who was still on the younger end of the genin roster, he would have more room for error. So, the question persisted.

_Why would I bother those three? I can't use the hokage as an excuse, but I really need to see Gaara…_

Naruto stopped his sprint without leaving the area, disguising his scheming with a mask of sudden physical exhaustion. Falling to his knees and breathing heavily, the boy carefully surveyed his surroundings. Predictably, shinobi from the sand were walking all around him, all varied in rank and age. The genin watched a few trios of his own age leaving a supply station with clean sleepwear, but his eyes fell instead on the old man running the stand. The guy was only a little bit taller than Naruto himself was, and his eyes had bags under his eyes that didn't bode well for his physical performance.

Naruto watched the elderly man's hands move as he opened and sorted crates, and even as the man carried a few up a flight of stairs. The man's hands were starting to shake, and his face was red from the effort. The occasional stagger gave away the senior laborer's fatigue. Between his curiosity and compassion for the old man, an opportunity presented itself when the stranger fell sideways, dropping a crate that he had been carrying to a washroom door.

With a deep breath, Naruto feigned dragging himself to his feet to help the stranger do likewise. With a concerned smile, the Uzumaki took the old man's load.

"Need some help, Gramps?" Naruto asked, regarding the elderly man's less than fortunate state.

"Sorry, kid. This is Suna's station… you're looking for…," the old man trailed off when he saw the hiatae upon Naruto's forehead. "You're not supposed to be around here right now, and I'm certainly not supposed ta' talk to you."

"Sorry, old man. I didn't mean to bother you. I always run around here when I can't sleep," the boy lied, but with enough actual concern for the old man's health that it seemed as honest as could be. "I just saw you there when I was taking my break, and since I've got the insomnia really bad tonight, I thought maybe I could assist."

"I'm really not supposed to share work with anyone until my relief shows up at three," the old man responded, but without any conviction. The thought of help had weakened his resistance.

"And it's around eleven now, right? That's four hours, gramps."

"You might get me in trouble if you hear something you shouldn't, boy." The man sputtered, trying to take the load out of Naruto's arms, but lacking the strength. After a second or two of this struggle, the man's shoulders sagged.

"Look, grandpa. It's either this or a lonely night of running around. I promise I won't get you in trouble… Just say you hired me. I'll keep a low profile."

"I can't pay you, kid." The elderly servant countered.

Naruto shook his head with a kind smile. "Don't worry about it. Just tell me where to take these things."

The night wore on, and Naruto busied himself with getting acquainted with the setup of the Sand encampment's dynamics while doing menial tasks. He noted every detail of every face he came in contact with, and every jutsu he saw employed for any reason. Mostly, however, he searched for signs of red hair and sleepless black-rimmed eyes.

It wasn't until close to the end of the shift that Naruto found the enigma he had been seeking sitting on the deck, staring sternly off into space. Acting as casual as he could manage, Naruto carried his load of clean towels up to the boy's position and held one out in front of the grim shinobi's face.

"Need a towel for the morning?" Naruto asked. "I'm taking these to the corner over there, but if you're gonna wash up tonight, these are still warm."

Gaara furrowed his hairless brow and didn't even bother to look to his side. He simply ignored the intruder to his bleak world without grace. They often left eventually. To his disdain, however, this one was persistent.

"No." Gaara deadpanned, unsure as it what it was he was dismissing, but equally certain that he didn't care. This was no battlefield-there was no purpose to his involvement in it.

"Wait, wait, you're that Gaara guy, aren't you?" the irritator's voice asked, lapsing into a conversation that Gaara had obliged once before to a rude messenger from another village.

"And if I am?" Gaara responded blandly, turning his head to glare at the newcomer. His eyes were greeted with the familiar figure of the genin that had taken Kankuro not a whole day prior. A bridge connected in the sand demon vessel's brain.

"Are you following me?"the redhead asked darkly.

"No, I'm helping with laundry." Naruto answered staunchly, appearing as confused as he could manage.

"I didn't know they were letting Konoha's genin assist with that." The sand ninja countered, his eyes narrowed again.

"Eh, I just happened to be passing by. The guy working right now isn't doing too well."

"Don't you sleep?" Gaara grumbled, looking away from Naruto once more. The suspicion was still very much in place.

"Yeah, but I sometimes just can't. Why, don't you?" the Uzumaki asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

"No." the youngest sand sibling responded, moving his face as little as possible. To his surprise, his visitor didn't act the least bit disturbed. Instead, he seemed more curious than before.

"Hm. You must be either very overworked, or very bored."

"Aren't you supposed to be washing something?" Gaara asked, strongly hinting at his disdain for human company.

"I volunteered for this. I'm not SUPPOSED to be washing anything." came Naruto's rebuttal.

Gaara turned back to face his unwelcomed guest yet again, his expression unreadable. "Really? And does your village know you're here?"

Naruto shrugged. "I'm an orphan. Nobody bothers, usually."

Hearing this, Gaara again sealed his lips tightly. His thoughts, as always, were unreadable.

"I didn't mean to bother you-" Naruto started.

"Then leave me in peace."

"…I didn't mean to bother you, but I never told you my name earlier." Naruto pressed on, smiling as he went.

Gaara regarded him blankly, suddenly confused as an arm with an open hand presented itself.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki. Hope we get along, Gaara."

For a split second, Naruto watched as the future Sand Shadow's eyes changed. The indiscriminant spite melted away to show hope, and then, discomfort. Gaara stiffened and stood up, his eyes locked firmly on his uninvited companion. The handshake was shunned, and eventually the gesture was dropped.

"Were you going to watch the sunrise out here?" Naruto asked congenially, placing the towels beside him and taking a seat.

For a while, the two sat in an uneasy silence.

"Uzumaki, you are most unwise." Gaara stated suddenly. "Go back to your home. You shouldn't be here."

"Why not? I'm going to be in the exams too, you know. Besides, our villages are allies."

"There is a reason that your delusions of friendship are not shared by our village councils." Gaara blurted out, bitterness evident with his voice.

"The councils, huh?" Naruto laughed wryly. "Those old hoagies that spend all their time yelling at me, you mean?"

"You?"Gaara scoffed under his breath, as he was unsure of what sort of council would even bother to try to talk to an idiot like the one who was taking up space nearby.

"Gah!" Naruto jumped, looking at the towels. "I have to get back to work!" he exclaimed, running down the stairs, leaving Gaara behind at last. Not before lifting his head up to wave, an act that Gaara spurned.

The rest of the shift continued without any trouble, but Naruto could feel the drowsiness seep he returned from his escapade, the genin went straight into Iruka's house and slept for the little time he had left before having to meet with the other members of his team. A sleepless night did have consequences, regardless of how productive it may be.

A/N: College. Nuff said.


End file.
